


The Daughter of the Sun

by LadyCeruleanBlue



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Developing Friendships, Drowning, Drunken Kissing, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Issues, Female Protagonist, Fluff, Healing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Murder, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not from Zuko though, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Assault, Slow Burn, Smut, Trust Issues, Zuko is an Ass Man, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 92,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24326944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCeruleanBlue/pseuds/LadyCeruleanBlue
Summary: Fire. What is this word, exactly? The phenomenon of combustion manifested in light, flame, and heat. One of the four elements of the world. Burning passion. Liveliness of imagination. Fuel in a state of combustion. A destructive burning. Fire.Emiko's found that fire destroys...everything. With the help of an old man and a fiery prince, she finds that it can also be used to create life, joy, and plenty of angst.This story will be dark and not for the faint of heart.   It will include explicit sexual scenes later on, and I am aging the characters up a few years.  The tags on this will evolve.  I don't want some innocent stumbling into this without a disclaimer.
Relationships: Zuko (Avatar) & Original Character(s), Zuko (Avatar) & Original Female Character(s), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Character(s), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 119
Kudos: 349





	1. I will never be like you

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been ported over from FanFiction.net and may have some differences as I edit and fix a lot of old writing. I wrote this over ten years ago, and luckily my writing has only improved. Stay healthy and safe out there!
> 
> \- LCB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We set the scene with Emiko and her abusive father. A distraction from a VIP allows her to escape.
> 
> Warnings: strong language, referenced/implied child abuse, mental and physical abuse, fear tactics, ptsd

**Emiko**

When I was ten, my family attempted to pawn me off to the Fire Sages. My mother was dead for many years, my brother shipped out to who knew where, and my sister could have given two fucks what happened to me. My father...he wasn't evil, per say. He was the man who taught me how to ride my first kimodo-rhino. He taught me how to hold my first flame, although my mother had to teach me to control it. Father was never very good at controlling the heat behind his bending. Something he thankfully hadn't passed on to me. Actually, just looking at him across the table, he hadn't passed much on to me.

I'd gotten my mother's hair, features, and coloring. He'd maybe given me his stubborn chin and distinct eyebrows, but looking at us side-by-side, no one would know we were related. Just as well, though. It made it that much harder to find me when I managed to slip away.

I made breakfast in what I thought was an uncomfortable silence. I liked to talk, but we had nothing really to talk about. He wanted to give me to an archaic organization, and for what? Because he wanted to be rid of me? He was always cryptic and acted like it was painful to talk to me, so I couldn't get any answers out of him. I had no clue how my mother married him. She'd been so bright, so wild...he was sullen and cruel.

My father took a sip of tea. He hadn't touched the breakfast I made, but at least he hydrated in the morning. His eyes were set on the barred window, gazing out on the small harbor he was stationed at currently. He was supposed to be the Commander of the port, directing men and ensuring proper functionality of the ports and maintenance facilities. I only knew that because I'd begged to tag along in order to get out of my barred prison. Surprisingly, he'd agreed. I learned a lot from various mechanics and soldiers. Even if it wasn't interesting, that knowledge could one day keep me alive.

I picked at my grilled fish, not incredibly hungry. The times I'd been out with him, I'd been searching for ways to leave. I could always stow away on a cargo ship, but that usually ended with me being insanely dehydrated and hungry throughout the trip as I tried to eat and drink as little as possible in the hold and not be noticed. Setting out on foot could work too, but I wasn't the most navigationally-inclined. Another option was to enlist in the military. Pretty sure my father couldn't do anything if I did, and I was almost of age. I'd kill myself before I jumped in with the Fire Nation, though. Even growing up, my mother had always instilled individualism and skepticism into me. She'd been against the Fire Nation almost all of her life. 

_Again, how did that woman--the pirate, the individual--marry the epitome of Fire Nation Might?_

Today might have been a good one for my escape plan. It all depended on him. Apparently a very important visitor was coming today, meaning my father would be out of my hair for a decent bit. No way he'd take me and give me the opportunity to ruin something like that, even though I'd been on my best behavior since he'd kidnapped me from the Earth Kingdom. I didn't want his physical anger, more than anything. "What time will you be home from work?" I asked before taking a sip of my miso soup. It was much better than the fish.

"Do you really care?" he snapped, as if my words had been inflammatory, or hurtful. No hand raised, but I still flinched.

I sighed and sat down the bowl, putting my hands in my lap and looking around the small, makeshift kitchen. "I was just trying to make conversation." The answer to that question was going to let me know if I had time to bolt or not. I needed it regardless of my fear of his anger.

My father sighed as well and picked up a large hand, rubbing his face. His age showed as his shoulders slumped--my father wasn't getting any younger. As the youngest of three, I hadn't seen it until the last few years. Just as I hadn't seen my siblings in...a long time, actually. "I work until midnight. A very important visitor is arriving, and I need to get information from him. Will you be making rounds with the Captain?"

 _Ugh. Isamu._ "Of course." Anything to get out of that stuffy military-provided house. Isamu was also easy to escape from. If I even mentioned the bathroom he broke out in an uncomfortable sweat.

I was waiting for my father to chastise me about the wiles of men, or for the regular lecture about not trying to escape. But instead, he said, "He's a good man, Emiko."

I met my father's eyes for the first time in a while. They were pleading, large amber orbs that made me feel bad all of a sudden. I couldn't help but wonder if that was the reason my mother fell in love with him, because with that look, he actually seemed _human_ rather than Koh-bent on writing his name in the stars. His hair obviously hadn't been receding then, and the sideburns hadn't been as prominent. He also hadn't been riding on the promotion of "Admiral." Back then, he'd still loved me. Apparently enough so now as well to mention the fact that Isamu was a good man...and _single_.

"I know he is," I said, feeling heat flare all over my face. I knew what was coming next and I didn't know if it made me embarrassed or angry.

"Your birthday. It's coming up soon, isn't it?"

I clutched the miso soup bowl tighter in my hands. It was had been cooling down but now my emotions were making it steam. "I'll be eighteen."

"Old enough to marry."

I had to take a deep, shaky breath before I could talk to him without yelling. My teeth were clenched as I ground out, "And what if I don't _want_ to get married?" My defiance could have resulted in a slap or worse, but I didn't care at that point.

"It isn't your choice." He stood up before I could protest, putting on his full uniform and getting ready for the day. "I have to get to work. We'll discuss this tomorrow. I have a full day of dock permits to get through and I can't deal with you right now."

"Your job is so glamorous," I mumbled under my breath as I brought the soup back to my lips. I hissed as it burned and blew on it--my bending liked to be sneaky when I was angry.

"It keeps a roof over your head!" This was snapped in the tone of voice he almost always used on me as he moved to the door in long, angry strides. I flinched down into my seat. "I expect you to pay attention to anything that Isamu says towards you. If he even hints towards a union, I would like to know."

When did Isamu become part of the deal? What happened to the Fire Sages? Wasn't he required to take me there? That'd been his excuse the first time, at least. "He's barely ever said a word to me, let alone hinted at anything. He knows you'll kill him if he makes a move. Why do you want to marry me off so badly, anyway?"

He sighed and put his hand on the doorknob. "Because I'm not always going to be here."

That answer silenced me, so I looked away and tried not to think about it. Part of me, the wild, uncultured part that had grown in the wilds of the Earth Kingdom, was happy to hear that. But the part that was still his daughter didn't want to think of losing him.

* * *

**Commander Zhao**

The young, arrogant Prince sat there and was bold-faced lying to him. The Prince hadn't changed much, other than aging and his scar becoming even uglier. It stretched across his eye to his ear, which was shriveled, and that eyebrow was gone. He'd shaved off all of his hair in his exile, only leaving a small patch of hair in a ponytail at the crown of his head.

Zhao planted both of his hands on the table and stared into the topaz eyes that he'd come to hate. "Why don't you stop beating around the bush, Prince Zuko? I've had some of your men interrogated...and they've told me that you had the Avatar in your custody, but you let him escape. I have more resources than you," he whispered to the struck-silent teenager, who turned his wide eyes into a glare at Zhao's voice. "I have more men, more money, and more ships at my disposal. You will _never_ be able to beat me. I'll catch the Avatar before you."

When the Prince was about to retaliate, a tall, lanky blur ran into the tent. "C-Commander Zhao!" the soldier cried, skidding to a stop. He had a thick head full of black hair, a rather thin face, with a pair of brown eyes. Not a bad-looking kid to imagine fathering his grandchildren.

"Ah, Isamu, you came at exactly the right time," Zhao droned sarcastically, irate that there was a distraction. "What can I do for you, Captain?"

Isamu bent down and leaned onto his knees to catch his breath from the dead sprint he'd been in. While the Commander was irritated, he knew that Isamu was his only insight into his daughter. The man was practically her babysitter, for lack of a better word. That, and perhaps Zhao needed this man on his side in case Emiko got out of hand in terms of the marriage deal. So Zhao tried to listen to the man's nervous mumblings when they came to his attention.

"It…it's her," the tall, handsome soldier finally managed to get out.

Zhao snapped to attention suddenly, staring down the quivering man. _Emiko...I swear to Agni, what did you do this time._ "What's wrong with her?"

Zuko raised his only dark, well-defined eyebrow. "Is this your girlfriend, Commander?"

Zhao sent a glare to the noble and snapped, "When you have children, I hope that they are as much trouble to you as my daughter is to me." He scowled at the implication and then turned back to his Captain. "Tell me what's wrong!"

Isamu pulled in a deep breath, then spewed out, "She got away."

" _What_?"

The Prince looked on with interest but, luckily for Zhao's temper, didn't say anything. Zhao stood straight and rearranged his armor, sticking Isamu with a glare. "I want her back in her room by tonight or else this is on your head, understood?"

Isamu straightened, the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. "Y-yes sir. Right away sir."

After Isamu left, Zuko furrowed his brow. "How old _are_ you?" he asked.

Zhao turned away from the teenager and clenched his eyes shut. He chose to ignore the question. "Once I'm out to sea, my men will permit you to go and you will be allowed to leave. In the meantime, _Prince Zuko_ , I suggest you keep yourself out of trouble in my harbor."

* * *

**Emiko**

I'd been gathering supplies for a few hours before setting off. Every week I was siphoning some change out of the groceries money my father gave me to shop with. I'd gotten friendly with some of the locals, too, and they gave me some discounts. Nothing was amiss, I was simply the Commander's daughter shopping for supplies. Still, it was almost sundown and my father's forces were going to notice me missing and start to comb the city for me, so I had to get going.

"Did you hear?" the merchant asked as he handed me my change. I raised an eyebrow and put the money in a small compartment within my hiking bag. "The exiled prince is in town!"

"Is that so?" I asked politely. I didn't really care to be honest. The Fire Nation could suck a big fat--

"Yes! And the esteemed General Iroh is with him. Hopefully that boy is whipped into shape by the Dragon of the West. Agni knows he needs it."

I didn't know much of the Prince or the General, just that the second one was very famous. School taught all about his exploits when I was growing up. The Prince, on the other hand, had been exiled while I'd been running around in the Earth Kingdom, so I knew almost nothing about the situation. _Probably just some spoiled boy, knowing the royal family._

I smiled stiffly at the clerk and bade a quick farewell. That made me run into a giant old man, knocking me into the ground. My hood fluttered down around my shoulders and I gasped up at the man in surprise. 

"Oh, pardon me," he said as he held out a hand. I ignored it and stood up myself, gathering my food and waterskin that had fallen from my bag. When I looked back up, the man's kind old eyes were looking on as he handed me a rolled-up map. I'd stolen that from my father's desk; it was deemed classified, so this man holding it sent a cold chill up my spine. "Here, child. Looks like some quest you're preparing for. May I ask where to?"

Koh, I didn't even know yet. "It's not about the destination," I said guardedly. I didn't know this man and I didn't need him getting word back to my father about where i was going.

"May the spirits bless the journey, then." He just gave me back the map with a twinkle in his eye. I snatched it back into my bag as quickly as possible. I had no clue if he'd seen the Fire Nation insignia or not, but a civilian could be killed on the spot for having this kind of classified information. 

I nodded at him and was a little more careful as I made my way out of the seaport village. I could feel his eyes on my back. Even though I was worried, I acted like nothing was the matter and sauntered my way out of the front gates. Only once I cleared the forest line did I let myself sag, exhausted. All I had on me was two copper pieces, enough food for a week, a few changes of clothes, and a sword I'd stolen from the garrison. Better to not be caught as a firebender in the Earth Kingdom with a war still going on. Not that I could hide my nationality with my yellow eyes and black hair and pale skin, but I could look like any other war-torn refugee out there.

"Emiko," a voice shouted from the direction of the city. I bristled and climbed a tree to get out of direct view. Then jumped a few trees over in case they were tracking footprints. "Emiko, you couldn't have made it that far just yet!"

My father was the only one I could hear rustling down in the underbrush. That meant his men were still searching the ports, which is probably where they thought I'd stowed away on some cargo ship. _Good thing I didn't do that._

"Emiko..." he growled, his voice terrifying. I put a hand over my mouth to hide my whimper. I couldn't let him find me again. I wouldn't be married off, or sold, or used as some handmaiden for a bunch of spiritual Fire Sages. "You will come home _this instant!_ "

 _No, I won't_. Tears streamed down my cheeks. My chest was tight from anxiety. Thinking of the beating I knew was coming if he found me again. A burn on my leg still hadn't healed fully. _Please, go away._

A wall of flame erupted far to my right, engulfing an entire tree. He screamed in anger. "Stupid _child!_ I'm doing this to help you, to help our family! You're more like me than you know. You'll be back, by your own will _or mine._ "

Tears streamed down my cheeks, sizzling against the heat of my hand that held my sobs in. _I am **nothing** like you._


	2. Fuck, that hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko gets ambushed not by the Fire Nation, but by Earth Kingdom soldiers! Then, she wakes up to find she's been captured by a different enemy. Or maybe not an enemy, but friends don't usually kidnap you.
> 
> Warnings: language, scenes of violence, pain, slight PTSD, anxiety/panic attack, verbal attacks

**Emiko**

The sun was rising as I sat up from my pile of leafs on the ground and looked around. Nothing in my small camp had been bothered, though my fire had kept going through the night. I cursed myself for letting it stay lit; the smoke could have alerted anyone in the vicinity to my position.

I waved the fire off with my bending before rubbing my face and letting my body soak in the sun so that I could wake up. I knew that I couldn't just sit there all day, but sitting in the sun…it was _amazing_. Being a firebender, I was connected to the light, and my favorite time of the day was sunrise. I always rose right when it hit the horizon and was out like a light by the time it dipped below the same line. While sleeping during the day and traveling by night would have been smarter, I was able to travel faster during the day. More energy.

After a dangerously-long linger in my bed of leafs, I stood up and quickly but silently cleaned up my campsite. Not that there was much. I splashed my face with some water from my water skin, threw it in my pack, and then headed out. Travelling light had its perks.

After a bit I stopped to stretch out the kinks in my back from using a rock as a pillow before I kept going, picking edible berries along the way. A young girl named Smellerbee had been the one who'd taught me which berries weren't edible and that the rest either tasted good or didn't. It was times like this, when I was alone in the wilderness, that I really missed her. She was my friend. That whole stupid gang of kids had been my friends. I wanted them by my side. At minimum for protection, it would have been spectacular to not sleep with one eye open every night.

I traveled day and night to find a place to rest that wouldn't be somewhere out in the open. I found a large tree in the middle of a grove, perfectly-sized mother oak to hold my body in one of its upper branches. I started climbing until I couldn't see the ground between the lower foliage and found a sturdy limb to rest my butt on for the night. I tied myself to the trunk as best I could and rested my head back against the harsh bark.

_Bodies surrounded me, on the ground, dying, bleeding out, burning, smoking, dying. The rest were fighting between spurts of fire and weapons and bodies. Voices rang out around the sound of cackling flames, shouting and screaming and giving orders amidst the chaos. Only one voice made its way through my fog, shouting,"Zhao, now!"_

_I told myself not to turn and look. Something pulled me around, forcing me to look at what I knew was to come, forcing me to relive it yet again._

_The vile man raised his arms up and punched forward a small ball of flame. A girl's eyes widened in horror. She barely had time to raise her arms before the flames hit her._

" _Smellerbee_!"

I awoke with a jolt, only to find my clothes soaked, my face swollen from tears, and sweat draining off my back. I was half-hanging off of the limb I'd slept on for the night, so I settled myself again before I untied the rope supporting my body. I wiped away the vial liquid on my face using my cloak. When I pulled the cloth away, though, I saw smears of dirt, not only water. I must've looked atrocious.

Getting up off the branch, I ignored the crick in my neck and the roar in my stomach and forced myself to keep moving. Climbing down the tree was slower work than going up. _No sense in letting the past get to you,_ my brain reminded me as it also reminded me to keep sure footing else I'd land like an Emiko puddle on the ground. _You've never let it before._

I shook my head. I had to keep moving, not sit and cry like I knew I wanted to. _Smellerbee, you'll never know how sorry I truly am._ She'd been hurt protecting me. Who knows who else took damage from that fight? I could have killed The Duke! _Oh, Agni..._

My racing thoughts distracted me from my surroundings. I didn't realize it until too late, but it was disturbingly quiet. Not the sound of the wind rustling the trees, nor the sound of animals chirping or chewing away on their berries and nuts. It was an unnatural silence that sent a chill up my spine. I crouched into a defense position just as I was attacked. A giant slab of rock was shot toward me. I dodged out of the way, grabbing the sword I was using to hack at the underbrush. More slabs flew at me, and I either dodged or broke them apart with the sword, leaving my arms sore and my hands stinging.

 _I've got to_ —

I turned to strike right at a rock coming from behind when it cut deep into my side, sending me sprawling to the ground. Pain lanced behind my eyes and I struggled to breathe as my blood soaked the grass underneath me. Clutching the wound, I looked up. My eyes fogged over as I saw the culprits. There were about five of them, one was advancing faster. I picked up the sword I dropped. Then, right as the man was over me, I swung my weapon upwards, slashing him across the face.

He clutched his eye and gasped in pain before he angrily kicked me in the side.

A groan escaped my mouth. I felt ready to puke. Then, the fog took me.

* * *

I awoke to something rattling me awake. Opening my eyes felt like trying to put sand in there, and my mouth was so dry that I couldn't swallow. Holy shit it felt like someone had taken my stomach out through my belly button. With the pull of unconsciousness taking some of the pain away, I knew that the second I woke up fully that it would hit full force, so I was tempted to go under again. But another shudder of the hard cot and a smell that could wake the dead forced me to crack open my eyes. I quickly took stock of myself and my surroundings.

I was in a small, metal room, so small it was almost a closet. It held the cot I occupied, a small cabinet with a water basin on top of it, and a desk with one flickering candle. One door led out. I was unsure if it was unlocked, but my guesses were I was a prisoner of the Earth Kingdom. There was a window open above my cot, shining a bright square of light onto my face. Also coming into the window, besides sunlight, was a thick smoke that smelled disgusting.

A sharp pain stabbed me in the side when I sat up. The small blanket covering my body slowly fell off, revealing that my entire top, from my hip bones to right under my arms, was wrapped in bandages. My left side was incredibly padded with gauze and hurt like Koh. _Look on the bright side,_ I thought as I pulled the blanket all the way off. _At least I still have my pants._

I felt a groan bubbling in my sore throat as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. The sun's rays washed over me, making me feel stronger, but _fuck, that hurt_. I was grinding my teeth just to get to the doorway. Looking at the opening mechanism made my stomach drop. _Alright…I'm on a ship_ , I thought as my waist felt ready to tear in two. Through the window, I could see that there were perhaps fifty or so men standing about on the ship's top, but none of them looked like Earth Kingdom soldiers. In fact, they all looked like _Fire Nation._

Starting to panic slightly, I tried to open the door so I could get out of there. I couldn't be on a Fire Nation vessel! The smart side of me told me that I was on a ship, so there would be nowhere to go once I made it to the deck. If I even _could get there_ in the state I was in. But some kind of medication kept my mind fuzzy and I ignored the voice screaming common sense in the back of my mind. The door took a moment to open, being thick, heavy steel and me still being injured, but it was surprisingly open. Outside the room, the smoke was heavier. Was the ship on fire? That didn't bode well for me. _Fuck, I can't swim. Fuck! This is all fucked!_ I could hear men shouting up and down the corridors, but no actual men in sight. _Maybe we're docked - just get outside. Calm down._

It was strange not to see guards posted outside my door...or anywhere along the corridors for that matter. Whomever was holding me captive couldn't be my father or any other Fire Nation officer. They wouldn't make the mistake of letting me freely roam their Fire Nation frigate. 

Before I left, I looked for my things. I couldn't see them anywhere. Even my cloak was gone, so some men were about to get an eyeful of...not really anything in all honesty. I'd always known that I'd been a little stockier up top in the shoulders and waist...actually, I was kind of stocky all the way down. Not overweight, but not curvy, nor delicate like most girls my own age. I was lightly muscled from all of the training, running, and fighting I'd done in the past four years. It was enough muscle to get me out of that room and up on to that deck to try and hear what the commotion was about.

I passed a few doors as I trailed along the wall for support. All of them were closed; they were most likely living quarters for the officers of the ship. At the end of the hall, I came upon a set of stairs. I stared them down like an enemy to conquer; no matter how long it took me or how much pain I had to go through, I would climb those Koh-forsaken stairs.

About half-way up, I was starting to regret my decision of taking on the challenge of climbing them. If my captives had given me any medicine, it was starting to wear off. But I pushed through up into the bright, welcoming sunlight...and a thick, dense fog from the ship's engines.

Men ran by me with insignia on their uniforms that I didn't recognize. I'd memorized all Fire Nation officer's personalized markers, but this was something I had yet to come across. The men who happened to see me stopped and stared, obviously distracted. This had to have been one of those "superstitious" boats. The one where the crew thought that having a woman on board was a curse. Considering the state of the ship, it didn't seem as though they were far off.

I made my way out of the thick smog to see a vast ocean out before me. My heart dropped to my feet—there was no way I was getting off of that ship. I looked around, trying to see a spec of land or a mark in the water that could tell me where I was at, but all I saw was a large volcano ...and dozens of Royal Fire Navy ships ahead of this one.

_"We're heading into the Fire Nation?!"_

My voice was gravelly from disuse, but it still carried over the deck of the ship. At that moment, a large wind came and blew away all of the smoke. The entire deck was revealed to me, and in turn, I was revealed to the entire deck. Most of the men were shirtless, running around, putting out fires and loading a catapult on the deck. If they hadn't heard me, they soon turned to look at me and stare openly.

I flushed darkly, bringing my arms up to cross them over my front. I knew at that instance that whoever had brought me aboard hadn't bothered to inform the rest of his crew. I was an anomaly in the middle of a war zone, distracting everyone from their jobs.

"Why are you just standing around?!" an angry, gravelly voice yelled from the prow of the ship. "Get back to work! Jee, direct some of the men to the engine room! Zhu, load the catapult! Ming, put out that fire!"

I couldn't see where the voice was coming from, but all of the men instantly stopped paying attention to me and turned back to whatever they were doing. That was when I felt a presence behind me. I looked up, seeing that a large man with thick, grey hair was staring at me as if I'd grown two heads. I was prepared to fight. "You!" It was the old man from the marketplace! Had he paid Earthbenders to take a hit out on me? None of that mattered as a wave of nausea rolled over me. I grasped the side of the ship and lost the contents of my stomach into the rolling sea.

The man came closer and I noticed that he had sideburns and a thick beard. He had enough hair to put in a top bun, though he was thinning towards the front, and his topaz eyes had laugh lines. "Please, child, you are injured. Let me help you." His actions were slow, as if I were an animal ready to bolt...which wasn't a bad assumption. I braced myself against the steel of the banister around the ship, but I didn't run. I had to figure out why I was there. "How are you, child?" he asked hesitantly. I noticed that he had my cloak in his arms, ready to give it to me.

I eyed it hesitantly. He'd want something in return. "Fine." _Obviously I'm peachy keen. Of course I'm not fine._

He pursed his lips and gave me a scolding look, rather than the angry or annoyed look that I'd come to expect. "You were bleeding out when I found you not a day ago, and now you are walking around. I highly doubt that you are 'fine.'"

The old man was right, no matter how much I wished differently. The sun gave me energy to keep walking but it wasn't enough to stop the pain that shot up and down my side. I grudgingly gave him an answer of, "I've been better. Last thing I knew, though, I was in the custody of the Earth Kingdom...not the Fire Nation."

"If you'll come with me, I will fill in the blanks for you," he said kindly, still treating me like an injured animal. He held up my cloak and just waited for me to trust him.

"I don't even know you you are," I begged as my stomach cramped, begging to throw up again but nothing was left. "Why are we going to the Fire Nation? I can't go there!"

"I am Iroh, brother to the Fire Lord and uncle to the crown prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko."

Whatever my brain _thought_ was going to come out of his mouth— _Admiral so-and-so, here to take you back to your father—_ was not what had actually come out of his mouth. I probably stared at him for a good sixty seconds before his words registered. "You're— _what?_ " I'd never heard anything bad about Iroh—in fact, there were only raving testimonials about his ability to lead a group of soldiers to victory with a clever mind and an understanding heart...although he'd still been ruthless in the siege of Ba Sing Se and every battle before that. Lessons growing up told her that Iroh left the service and his crown after his son died. Why was the _brother to the Fire Lord_ keeping her onboard? "Why did you...save me, I think? What were you planning on doing with me?"

The look of pity in his eyes, even for a split second, only made me feel worse. My legs shook but I held myself up on the railing. "I swear to the spirits that I saved you for no other reason than to help another human being. Once we dock, you are free to leave. You have my word." He put a hand over his heart and bowed. A _world-renoun_ _general_ bowed and swore to me. 

I straightened my shoulders as much as I could and made my way slowly over to him. "I...I trust you." He visibly relaxed and handed the cloak to me. Thankfully he sensed that I din't want to be touched. "Thanks," I mumbled softly.

He smiled obnoxiously, like I'd given him the absolute world. He led me over to a small bench near the front of the ship and gently sat me down. "You will not move from his spot until we are through this blockade, are we clear?"

I glared at the old man, pulling my cloak on and tightening it around my neck. "I'm not even sure if I can trust you yet. Why would I even—?"

The old man sighed and took a seat next to me. He clasped his hands between his knees and stared out at sea, towards the blockade that was still a half an hour away. It kept looming closer and closer. "You are on this ship because of my influence with my nephew. I convinced him to allow you to stay until we could find a doctor on land and heal you. I understand that you are worried, but fear not. Whatever your allegiance, we promise to leave you be at a port you can safely stay at."

I was too drained and in pain to ask more questions. I sighed and mimicked his stance. "Thanks then, I guess. I'm not used to kindness from the Fire Nation."

We sat silently for a while and stared out at the men who were running back and forth. While they didn't stop and stare anymore, there were a few glances shot my way. Zuko, who I assumed had yelled at them earlier, must have been either extremely respected or extremely frightening. I guessed the latter with how much he seemed to be yelling at them.

I finally recognized the volcano to be Crescent Island, the outermost island of the Fire Nation. It housed a temple dedicated to the Fire Avatars and there was always a regiment of Fire Sages at the temple. That meant... "You're trying to take me to the Sages! I won't let you! I'll jump over the side of this fucking boat before you take me to them."

"My lady, _please—_ "

_"Uncle!"_

* * *

**Zuko**

Hundreds of fireballs were coming at his ship, streaking through the air and leaving long ugly smudges of black smoke through the clear blue sky. The sun could barely stream through it. Zuko panicked—follow the Avatar, or get to safety? _There's no time—_ "Uncle!"

The fireballs hit the water next to the ship, making waves that almost drowned the crew. This ship was much, much smaller than the Fire Navy Armada ships, so it rocked like a baby's crib in a hurricane. Most of the missiles missed, but Zuko noticed one coming straight toward the ship.

He turned to look where it would land, finding a girl out on his deck. He didn't have time to be angry about her distracting his crew or even being on his ship; she was standing right in the blast zone. Zuko didn't start to think before he sprinted toward her and tackled her hard, sending them both flying to the ground a few yards away.

The soft creature beneath him groaned. He leaned up on his elbows to see that the girl was around his age—he hadn't been able, nor had he cared, to see her face when Uncle had brought her on board. She'd been covered in blood and dirt at the time, but now she was pale and had a slight sickly twinge of green to her face. Her hair was thicker than most women he knew, who kept their hair thin and straight. It was so thick that it was wavy, and it went to the bottom of her shoulder blades even in its messy braid. Her face was oval, with high cheekbones, a strong chin, and baby fat on her cheeks still. Her forehead was high, her eyes surrounded by thick black lashes. He figured that she could be a boy if he wasn't sitting on a pair of wide hips.

When she opened those eyes, he was staring into the lightest yellow Fire Nation eyes he'd ever seen. They stared at him blankly for just a moment before they turned confused. Then she gave out a gasp of pain. He sat up on his knees and looked down to her waist, which was bleeding through the thick gauze wrapped around her side. He realized that he'd never seen her wound, either.

She had a loose pair of his pants on her bottom half, he noticed with a frown. The rest of her was bound tightly in a thin white bandage. "Thanks," she said sarcastically, sitting up on her forearms. "I didn't see the giant fireball coming at my head or anything."

Zuko felt one of his nostrils twitch in anger. He stood up and pulled the girl up with him, one unforgiving hand gripping under her arm. She cried out in pain at his rough treatment and glared at him as he threw her onto a bench. He felt a grim satisfaction as he watched her delicate, pale skin start to bruise where he'd grabbed her. "I just saved your life _...twice!_ I'd suggest you learn a little respect, peasant!"

This made her shut her mouth. Her wide almond eyes looked apologetic for a moment before they returned with a spark that reminded him a little of a firebender. "I'm not a peasant! And you're not taking me to those stinking geezers!" She snatched her arm away from him and swatted at him when he tried to grab her again.

 _Koh, this girl...!_ His hands heated up and he punched a fire-filled fist into the wall next to her head. She cried out and flinched, shaking hands coming up to protect her face. "You'll be quiet until I send a guard to take you back to your holding cell!"

The girl's eyes narrowed even as they filled with tears and her hands turned to fists and she held them in front of her, arms shaking. "I'll _die_ before you take me back to the Fire Nation." 

Her raw fear and anger startled him. He took another good look at her—maybe a daughter of a noble, with that pale skin. Or perhaps a fugitive, on the run. "What...?" _Old geezers?_ He had absolutely no clue what this daft chit was talking about. Either way, while she was distracting him, his ship was getting torn to pieces by missiles. "Get down to your room or get out of the way. I'm after the Avatar, not whatever _your_ deal is."

Her nose screwed up, lip curled in confusion. It would have been cute if it didn't grate on his nerves. "Avatar? What in Koh's name are you—-"

"You are a... _guest_...on _my ship, only given this much slack because of my uncle._ Do as ordered or I will have that title changed to prisoner and I will throw you in the brig myself!"

With that, Prince Zuko strolled over to where his uncle was trying to help douse some flames with the little fan he held in his hand. He could barely control himself to keep from snapping at the old man. Instead, he stared ahead at the line of ships that were trying to keep him out of the land he once called home...and away from the one thing that could let him get everything back.

* * *

**Emiko**

The helmsman was doing his job as best as he could in order to dodge the missiles, but another one hitting the ship was bound to happen sooner or later. A large crash made the ship groan, and then we were slowing down. I could practically feel the heat inside the coal room diminish drastically as the ship took on water. The entire situation, plus Zuko's confrontation earlier, left me breathless as my heart raced. The ship was sinking. Engineers shouted that the ship needed to stop in order for them to make repairs. Zuko refused to let them stop.

"This is madness," I whispered when we were minutes away from crashing into the huge stockade of royal armada ships. Even if these people didn't want to return me to the fire temple, the fact that I was travelling with royalty belonging to the nation currently headhunting me was cause for a massive panic attack. Which was what happened then. We were right in front of the blockade now, about to be crushed to pieces. In all of the ways I had pictured dying, I really hadn't really thought about drowning. Well I had, but not by Fire Nation ships in a blockade ready to smash another ship to bits. I'd pictured heroically saving a damsel in distress and getting shot down by a Yu-Yann archer, or plundering a wealthy man's foodstocks to save a suffering townsfolk before being executed for treason.

I closed my eyes and tried to picture that happier thought before we crashed, but all I heard was the sound of engines cutting off. One of my eyes peeked open to see that we were smoothly sailing between two of the largest ships in the armada. Up on the commanding ship, my father was staring down at the occupants of ours.

I tried to look inconspicuous but I wasn't sure if he'd seen me or not. _It's been like four_ _days, Emiko_ , I thought sourly to myself as he yelled and cursed up on his deck, _that's a new record._ As we sailed slowly past them, I was wondering why we weren't fish bait. _Father, what are you up to…?_

Iroh was by my side, then, hand on my shoulder. His touch made me flinch, my chest still tight. "I still don't know your name, child. Are you in pain? Were you injured further?"

My panic had died as we sailed safely into the nation I'd sworn never to return to. I shrugged out of his hold and grimaced as I cupped my hands around my side. "Y-yeah, I think my wound broke open again."

"Well, come with me. I can see to your wounds." He didn't touch me again, I noticed, but he hovered around me like a nervous pig-hen. Iroh took me to a room off of the deck, this time without using stairs. We were secluded in that small room that didn't give any hints as to what it was supposed to be.

The old man set me down on a spare cot in the room and pulled out some medical supplies from seemingly nowhere. He started to unwrap my waist.

I grasped his wrist and gave him a wary glance, ready to bolt at any time. I'd thought he was done with the touching but I was wrong. _I guess he has to touch me to help me...ack._

He chuckled and tapped gently on my healed side. It startled me out of my rumination. "I need to make sure your stitches are still in place. No worries, you are modestly covered. We had a female doctor see to you on the mainland. If you feel more comfortable, I can grab our ship's doctor."

I shook my head and swallowed, trying to get some moisture into my dry mouth. He noticed and handed me a glass of water, once again from seemingly out of nowhere. _So kind. He must want something._ "I-I...no. This is fine. Just don't make sudden movements...please." He started to hum a little tune as he unwrapped the soiled bandages around my waist. I refused to look down at what I was sure was my entire guts spilling out on the floor. I could deal with other people's blood—Koh, I'd even helped saw off someone's entire leg before! But I wasn't a big fan of my own for many obvious reasons.

When the bandages were fully off, I was left only in the baggy pants I'd woken up in and a breast binder that was too new for it to be mine. Noticing my discomfort as he applied some medication to my wound, Iroh said, "This room housed all of my instruments until Zuko threw a fit one night and burned my woodwinds. After that, I moved everything down to a storage closet near my room. He has yet to find them. You'll have to come to music night on the ship! I bet your voice is lovely."

I smirked and looked over the old man's shoulder. "It's something, alright."

A small frown adorned the general's face as he started retying my bandages again. "I think that this would be much easier to get to know you if I knew your name, child. And your favorite tea."

I suddenly felt very skittish around this man. Why was he being so kind to me? Why would he even bother to save my life from the Earthbenders who wanted to take me to justice? _Why?_ And how in Koh's name did my favorite tea pertain to the situation? "Prisoner, I suppose." I purposefully left out what tea because I wasn't sure. It'd been quite a while since I'd had good tea brewed for me, and my tea was lackluster at best.

The old man laughed and tied a pretty little bow at the bottom of my waist to stop the bandages from unraveling. "As I told you earlier, you are no prisoner, but my ward. I have chosen to care for you until your wounds are healed and you are free to move about as much as your wounds allow."

"Oh." This truely surprised me. He'd said I was free, but it hadn't quite clicked until that moment. "I...thank you, sir."

"Please, call me Iroh, miss...?"

Zuko barged into the room then, interrupting me as I was about to tell Iroh my name. "Uncle, I'm leaving on the mini cutter. Keep the ship heading into Fire Nation waters, away from Crescent Island." I realized then that he had a permanent crease from glaring all the time between his one dark brow and the place where the other one was supposed to be. His nose was long, straight, and regal. I figured that, when his lips weren't pursed as they were in that moment, he probably had really nicely-shaped lips. "I'll be back when I have the avatar."

"Be careful, Nephew." Iroh said this with nothing but love in his voice. It took my breath away. When was the last time I'd heard that kind of love directed at me?

Zuko turned to leave but caught my eye. His one good eye was surrounded by thick black lashes—and his eyes were full of hatred. When he realized I was only in my breast band, his face flushed and he turned away. "My uncle found you. Be grateful that he cared, because if I had gotten _my_ way, you would still be on your way to Ba Sing Se as a prisoner right now." The door to the medical bay closed behind him.

I tried to think back on what had happened as I'd tried to get away from the Earthbender. The Earth Kingdom soldiers had had a specific insignia on their shoulder's, I'd seen it. They must have been from some small regimen, from a small town. Well, they'd been strong, that was for sure. They'd snuck up on me and then had attacked with precision. Koh, they'd even drawn blood!

Iroh handed me back my robe. I covered myself and blushed, Zuko's words still ringing. He was right. I was at their mercy. Whatever had happened, Iroh _and_ Zuko had saved me multiple times now. "You will have to forgive my nephew. He is...in a difficult place."

I chuckled, rubbing a hand around my throat. "Poor little prince. Such a difficult life."

"Hmm. He's been through more than most. I will speak with him about his temper with you."

I'd found that intervention tended to lead to more abuse from people like him. "He'll only get worse. Don't bother. I've dealt with bullies all my life...I can handle another one." My mind went back to something the prince had said. "Ba Sing Se? Is that where the men were taking me? And why did they attack me? They had no reason to assume I was a firebender, or a threat." I was and I could be, but that was beside the point.

"I assume it was my fault, I'm afraid. They thought I had a companion in the woods, and they were right, but they got you instead. I was honor-bound to help you after that. But yes, Ba Sing Se." There was a pain in his kind eyes that I didn't appreciate. His son had died there. I was sure he didn't want to return.

I placed my hand over his, bringing him out of his old war memories. "Then I thank you for helping me. I will repay you back somehow. I promise."


	3. You're hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko returns from Crescent Island, once again empty-handed. Emiko tries to get past the prince's prickly exterior.
> 
> Warnings: use of alcohol, medical descriptions of burns, injuries, ptsd

**Zuko**

The crown prince of the Fire Nation stumbled into his medical bay clutching a wounded shoulder. Even worse, he hugged a wounded pride. The child, that _Avatar_ , had evaded him once again. And this time, he'd come out with more than a simple injury. The fire from Roku's flames had ripped through his armor when Zuko had tried to take advantage of the situation. Rather than test an ancient Avatar's patience again, Zuko fled and carried himself back to his ship in the dead cover of night.

He cursed as he fumbled around for burn paste with one hand. The other he didn't want to move in fear of breaking the melted material of his pauldron from the skin of his shoulder. Even breathing made the skin tight and angry. The pain reminded him of years past. He tried not to dwell on it. 

_Where in Koh's name..._ Angrily, the prince breathed fire and threw an entire cabinet against the wall. A frightened scream came from somewhere else in the room. Zuko lit up his good hand with fire and turned to face the intruder, his chest heaving rapidly. "Who's there?!" A small, pale form was huddled on a cot in the corner. Knees to her chest, the girl... _Amiko? Mika?_ held her arms behind her neck, shaking. "You! Why aren't you in your room?" Iroh swore he'd keep her out of the way. Zuko didn't even want to have to look at this kind of distraction.

"I...I..."

"Speak up!"

"Please put the fire away!" She screamed this in a voice filled with tears. He was still in pain and inadvertently did as she asked, breathing light into one of the lamps in the room instead. The pitch black lit only by moonlight flickered softly in a warm candle glow. 

"I don't have the time or the patience for you. I need to..." He grunted and leaned against an empty cot. His vision was getting fuzzy around the edges. _I need medicine._

"You're hurt." The girl scrambled out of bed at a rate faster than she probably should have, considering the state of her injuries. Those Earthbenders had really done a number on her. Her pale brow furrowed, her strange topaz eyes curious as she stepped up to him. One delicate hand hovered shakily around his injured shoulder. "Right here. You're burned."

He scowled at her and pulled his arm away long before she could touch him. "Don't touch me, peasant!"

The girl—Emiko, he remembered her name was—looked a little paler than normal. Once again, she held her ground against him. _Stubborn peasant._ "Y-you need help. I'll find the doctor if you don't want me."

" _No!_ " He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. He didn't want the crew to see he'd failed again. To see him _burned_ again. "No."

Her small wrist was shaking in his hand. Something or some _one_ had frightened her, perhaps with fire. He'd gotten over his fears...mostly. But many others didn't. He could see scars, some lighter or darker than others, all along her shoulders and arms. Many firebenders had similar burns; playing with fire didn't come without a price. But hers looked a lot like someone had meant to do them, rather than accidents that would happen during training. Hand prints of anger, in some instances.

Something in her eyes clicked. She set her jaw and nodded. "Okay. Pain meds? This won't be pleasant."

He lightly craned his neck in the direction of the medicine cabinet he'd thrown. She gingerly bent down to read through the labels on the bottles. Once she found something she seemed to know, she grabbed it, poured some of it on her hands, and held it out to him. Turned out, it was fire whiskey. "Really?"

"I'm not a doctor," she mumbled, a slight blush appearing on her face. She walked around until she found something else. "We'll have to get your armor off first, and it looks like it's fused to the skin. This will make it a little easier."

Zuko didn't look forward to the pain that was coming. He liked it even less that his pride kept him from getting help from his men. So he took the alcohol and drank a few swigs until his stomach threatened to bring it back up. She started pouring the oil over his armor and around his skin where the cotton underclothes had been seared away. Then she found some scissors. "I need to take your shirt off. Is that okay?"

It was necessary, of course it was okay! It was slightly refreshing of her to ask, though. "You won't get very far if you don't."

Her pale face flared to life in embarrassment. Even her ears tinged pint at the tops. Jaw clenched, she went about cutting his pauldron loose from the straps and removing the cotton undershirt around his armor. Then, hands shaking still, she started unclasping his breastplate and the other pieces still salvageable. They fell away piece by piece until her hands--warm, almost as if she were a firebender--touched the bare skin of his chest. She used a cloth to work the mineral oil into the skin around the burned metal and leather until he felt something give.

Zuko hissed smoke from his nose and ground his teeth together. The pain was terrible, but he'd dealt with it before. The warmth from the alcohol distracted him. As did her slightly calloused hands tending to him gently. He used her as a distraction. "Who are you?" 

She dug extra deep into his shoulder, making his question end in a hiss. "Please sit still."

"Be more careful." Zuko took a swig of the whiskey again. This was far from over. "I asked you a question."

"Just a weary Fire Nation citizen trying to find her way."

He grimaced at her calm tone. It was almost dead. Any loyal Fire Nation citizen would not have acted the way she did the previous day. "Why were you so insistent on not returning, then? What are you running from?" He remembered her speaking of _geezers_. Those Fire Sages at the temple fit that bill perfectly. He'd seen a side room full of beds for the men's handmaidens and servants. It was considered an honor to be donated to the Fire Sages.

The girl was able to get most of the armor separated from his skin. She used the time preparing a sanitizing cloth to make him wait for her answer. "I promised myself years ago I would never go back. I guess I broke that promise today."

Infuriating! This girl spoke in generalities. "I won't ask again. _Who are you?_ "

"I'll be out of your hair as soon as we're at the next port--"

He grabbed her again, pulling her between his legs to look him in the spirits-damned _eyes_ for once. He knew he was hideous, but that didn't mean he didn't deserve the respect of her eye contact. "I may be disfigured, but you will look at me when I'm speaking to you, and give me a direct answer."

Emiko's bright yellow eyes were wide. They looked for exits, for a way out. Or just for anywhere to look but his face. So he used the hand attached to his injured shoulder to grasp her chin and turn it towards him. Finally, she looked at him. Eyes watering but a firm, resolute set to her jaw. "I'm not _not_ looking at you because of your scar. Y-you make me nervous, and you're...shirtless." Her face burned an even brighter red and she averted her eyes once more.

He let it slide and even let her go. A little bit of male pride filled him as she finished sanitizing his shoulder. Those pink cheeks turned darker any time her feather-light touches grazed his bicep or his side. Years of firebending practice had honed his body into a weapon. A girl showing appreciation...was something new. Nice, almost. Even if the girl was a peasant. All of it distracted from her debriding the dead skin from his flesh.

She seemed to be around his age, her own body filling out nicely. More muscular than soft, with scars littering every piece of visible skin. Even her calloused hands showed a hard life. Still, there was a dip to her waist. A delicateness to her shoulders and hands. Small, bare feet and tinier toes. The alcohol must have been getting to him, but it'd been a while since he'd seen anyone his own age, let alone a girl.

"My name is Emiko," she whispered much later after having used a balm on the newly-fresh, bleeding, mangled skin of his shoulder. All things considered, it could have been much worse. "I'm running away from my family. Thank you for harboring me, and saving my life."

When Zuko turned to look at her this time, she was staring him right in the face. No fear, disgust, or pity showed there. What did show was an honest integrity that he hadn't seen in a while. He saw a frightened, vulnerable girl. She'd helped him out, even after all he'd done is yell at her. "It's...you're welcome. Emiko."

A smile smile appeared on her bow lips. "This is the least I could do, considering. Hey, you wanna share some of that?" She nodded to the bottle of fire whiskey sitting forgotten to his side. He raised a brow but handed it to her. She poured some on her hands to clean them before also taking a large swig from the top. "Thanks. Anything else I can do for you?"

"This doesn't leave us." He tightened his voice and narrowed his eyes. 

Emiko lost her playful smile from a moment before and nodded. The bottle tipped towards him. "Drink to seal it."

They finished the bottle. She never mentioned the incident again.


	4. May I request something of you?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko goes through physical therapy for her injury, and Iroh asks some tough questions.
> 
> No warnings apply this chapter that I know of.

**Emiko**

I could see a ship in the far distance, following us. It could have been a trade ship, for all I knew. But my gut told me my father had seen me on board Zuko's ship. That, or he thought Zuko might have a lead on the Avatar.

My father was crazed for fame. For glory. He wanted the spirits to remember his name, to be whispered for generations to come. Capturing the Avatar wouldn't do that, but it was a start. I'd heard some of his crazy rantings in the past...if he ever got that kind of power, he would make the world burn. 

Whatever the ship was, it made me paranoid. Land was on the other side of the ship, threatening to throw me off at the next stop. Iroh had promised I could stay until I was healed--what did he actually mean by that? Until the scar was gone, or until I could reliably take care of myself? The thought of being alone again stabbed my heart. While solitude and/or Iroh's presence wasn't the biggest bonus in the world, being in a place that my father couldn't access was the most comforting thing I could think of. Maybe it really made me feel better because I overheard how much Zuko hated my father one music night from across the deck. Going on and on about how he'd never let that man on his ship... _What was that saying? An enemy of my enemy is my friend?_

Whatever the reason for the feelings of being safe, I knew I had to discuss the terms of this arrangement with Iroh. If anything, maybe I could offer to help the chef or the doctor. Maybe they'd let me stay on. I'd work for free in exchange for safe harbor, a bed, and some food. They may find it not worth the effort, but I had to ask.

Every night, I had dinner with Iroh. Zuko was busy hunting the Avatar--otherwise, Iroh said, his nephew would be there. We talked about everything and nothing. He never asked direct questions about what I was running from or who I was, but at the same time he tried to get to know me. The real me. We talked about death, and what came after. We talked about spirits and ghosts and reincarnation. He was an incredibly insightful old man.

I put my delicious meal down. It was leagues above what I'd been cooking for myself. If I kept it up, I'd do nothing but gain weight while I was being a drain on Iroh's ship. "You are not quite what I expected, Iroh."

He chuckled. The man was polite while he ate and never spoke with his mouth full, so he finished before he said, "So I've been told. How so, for you?"

I didn't want to give anything away about myself, but he was just so easy to talk to that I forgot about my fears. "We were taught about you in primary school. Your prowess in battle. You're obviously as wise as I'd thought, but..." _I thought you'd be more like my father._ "Please do not take this the wrong way, but you are much more kind than I ever envisioned you."

"Never apologize for telling me your truths, child." His words filled me with warmth. That's why I was curious when my eyes started to fill with tears. "Emiko! Have I said something to upset you?"

"No, no," I choked out before I try and drink some water. I blinked my tears away. I couldn't explain my emotions to him because I didn't even understand them myself. "No...I'm sorry. I...I am thankful for your help, is all. I don't think I can ever repay you." So far, he'd only helped me--given me medicine, access to his private bathing room, and even loaned me clothes. All because he'd been complicit in the earthbenders attacking me, even offhand. 

No pity in his eyes this time. Just kindness. A fatherly warmth I'd only felt when I was young. "You need not repay me, child. Your smile is reward enough."

I needed to ask him if I could stay. I didn't want to take advantage of him, though. If he didn't want to, I wasn't going to make him just because he pitied me. "Iroh...I do not want to overstep. May I request something of you, though?"

One grey eyebrow rose. "Sometimes it is wise to ask what the request is before agreeing to it." 

_Good. He doesn't trust me implicitly. Smart man._ "Can I work for you? As an assistant, or a chef. I have nowhere to turn, and for the first time in a long time I...I feel safe. I...I'd like to join your crew."

Iroh didn't say anything at first. He blinked twice and stared at me with a blank look on his face. My heart rate sped up, my mind instantly thinking of the worst. He was going to throw me off at the next port, or assign me to the brig for being so forward. "Ah...Emiko, I would be very happy to have you aboard. However..." 

_There's always a but._ I was ready for it, though. So I stood up and started clearing our plates. Anything to distract from the crushed, disappointed feeling in my chest. "Nevermind! I shouldn't have even asked. Nope, it's fine, I'll be off at the next port as you initially stated." Tears buzzed in my eyes. I refused to look at him. 

"Emiko..." A soft hand landed on my wrist, making me flinch an drop a bowl. It shattered on the ground, the sound echoing like a slap to my ears. I gently set the other plates I was holding back down, afraid to drop them as my hands shook. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Please, sit back down. I only wished to converse."

The loud noise had startled me like any harsh word would have. I took a deep breath. _Iroh hasn't given me any reason not to trust him. He has not been cruel, or asked me of anything._ With pleading from his eyes too strong to resist, I sat back down. "I'm..."

"No need to apologize," he reminded me. I blinked in surprise. "I just wanted to ask...you are running from something. Before I agree to talk to my nephew on your behalf, I must know--could what is chasing you hurt the people of this ship?" He didn't ask who, or what. He just asked if it would impact other people's lives. This man was...incredible.

My father's face aboard the ship in the armada flashed in my mind. "I...I don't know." It was honest. My father could be calm one moment, then blazing hot with anger the next. I decided to trust this man with pieces of the story. I wanted someone who could help me get away from all of that. "My father has a, ah..well-ranking position in the Fire Navy. I don't understand the implications of that to you as part of the royal family, let alone the banished prince and his crew."

Iroh observed me for a moment before asking, "Tea?" The change in pace confused me but I nodded. "I hope ginseng is alright. It's my favorite. So is jasmine, but I will introduce you to that later."

I sat in awkward silence for a moment before I got the courage to speak up again. "I'm sorry, sir, but...did I help you feel better about making a decision?" The whole 'later' keyword made me have hope. It sounded like he still had to ask Zuko, too, but that was another issue all together. I was pretty sure he'd rather me be dead than on his ship.

The man just hummed to himself as he poured us cups of tea. Then, finally, when he sat down, he said, "I will speak to my nephew and plead your case. We could use a feminine touch on this ship."

Hope was getting to be a precious thing. I couldn't let it keep going up. Something was going to temper my expectations, and soon.

* * *

  
**Zuko**

Zuko's men had fixed the ship and it showed as they cut through the clear water that day. Even his sullen mind had to admit that the golden rays shimmering off the clear water was a beautiful sight. _It's been a week and still no sight of the Avatar._ His eyes scanned the horizon, waiting for the piece of land that was soon going to be in sight. They needed to dock and get local insight. Fluffy clouds floated through the sky. He looked down and saw Jee arguing with one of the mechanics, pointing to a scroll that most likely had statistics from the ship's engine. The mechanic nodded and swiftly made his way back towards the hull before Jee turned on his heels to go below deck, probably to yell at the coal-shovelers to do their job better. _All steam ahead, indeed._

Zuko took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, listening to the peace and quiet of the morning. Everything was perfect.

"Prince Zuko." Iroh's voice interrupted his moment. "It's time for... _practice_...if you're ready." 

By that, Iroh meant physical therapy. That burn to his shoulder, while tended well by the newest person on the ship, had hindered his ability to firebend properly. He could hardly raise it above his head, let alone ensure the proper stances for the beginner set. Zuko groaned but knew his uncle was right. He couldn't practice up top if he refused to tell his crew what had happened. That he'd lost _again_.

There was a large cargo area under the ship that Zuko used as a practice area whenever the weather outside wasn't the best. Iroh led him down there, lamps already lit. A blob of a form was already sitting in the middle of the training room. Black hair pulled back into a braid. A large tunic that was obviously Iroh's smothered her body into a maroon tent on the ground. 

"What's she doing here?" At the sound of his voice, her eyes fluttered open. He hadn't talked to or interacted with her since the Crescent Island incident. As promised, she'd told no one of his injury. Not that she'd had much of a chance, but it was nice to see her keep her word. During the day she mostly followed Iroh around like a lost little kitten-deer or hid in her room. 

Iroh shot Zuko a glare, something that surprised the Prince. He hadn't said it cruelly--he had legitimately asked. "She also needs physical therapy. Start your stretches, my prince"

Emiko continued sitting on the floor, cross-legged under the tent of Iroh's tunic. As Zuko removed his shirt, he watched Iroh ask permission to touch the girl. She nodded and he directed her in some core exercises that would give her movement back in her abdominals. Her ribs had been broken, apparently, and some muscle torn. Many breathing exercises were in her future. He didn't envy broken ribs at all.

Zuko sat across the room from her, facing her direction. He started working the muscle around his shoulder by rotating his arm in a circle. Iroh came over minutes later to help direct him in some stretching exercises. The girl eventually tied the extra fabric around her body into a knot at her hips as she deep stretched her legs and hips. She was surprisingly...flexible, hissing through her teeth when she turned her spine into the next fluid movement. Though baggy, the pants pulled tightly over her ass. Somehow, she'd been able to bathe while on the ship as she looked fresh and her hair was free of grease. He wasn't sure if Iroh had let her use his private quarters or if she'd found time to sneak into the communal showers. His face filled with heat--what if the men had walked in on her? He trusted a majority of his crew, but he wouldn't put it past some of them to try and do something to a pretty, injured girl.

He missed something his uncle said four times before Zuko finally paid attention. Rather than answer the question about how much pain he in, Zuko asked, "Uncle, tell me: what is the arrangement with the girl?" The prince knew that his uncle was honor-bound, meaning that he would care for the girl until he repaid her for the pain he'd caused. "She can't stay aboard forever. She could get hurt. This isn't a hotel, it's a warship."

Iroh nodded and pushed Zuko's arm a way it shouldn't have been able to go. It took his breath away. As if it's what he meant to do, Iroh's voice had a slight lilt in it. "I believe she'll make a wonderful assistant to the arms master."

Zuko frowned. "So _your_ assistant? Uncle...we can't have a girl aboard. Where is she supposed to bathe? Only you and I have private showers. She...she could be taken advantage of." She took that moment to look up at him. Her face was covered in a clear layer of sweat, but her face looked earnest. The biggest issue, though, was, "She's also a distraction."

"She barely leaves her room," Iroh said firmly, with a tone that Zuko was surprised to hear. "She can continue to use my private quarters to ensure her privacy. I am asking you this as a favor, my prince. Please. Allow her to stay with us a little longer. Until she feels safe enough to leave."

Her frightened yellow eyes from multiple occasions flashed through his mind. Her soft smile as they shared a drink. "Someone's hurt her."

"Yes." 

Zuko sighed. They didn't have time to waste on a charity case. "Uncle. This is just another one of your pet projects."

"Hush." Iroh pushed him on the head before moving back over to Emiko. She'd gotten stuck in a low stretch, her ass on display. Zuko had to admit, the view wasn't the worst thing in the world. It may have been a distraction, but maybe that was what he needed.


	5. Don't lie to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko asks a hard question before Emiko's past comes back to haunt her. Iroh plays matchmaker and fashion guru.
> 
> Warnings: kidnapping, mental trauma, panic attack, physical violence, vomiting

**Emiko**

"Breathe in...breathe out..."

I did as I was told, absorbing the sun's energy and trying to calm myself. Nothing but peaceful thoughts as I was trained by a Master Firebender for the first time in years. The last time had been at the academy I went to as a child, and before that, my mother had taught me I missed her incredibly. Even the happy thoughts still made me sad. What would have happened if I hadn't come around? If she was still alive? Maybe my family would still be together.

"What is _she_ doing here?"

One cranky eye opened and I looked up at a shirtless Prince Zuko. He was glistening in the sunlight, a small bandage covering what was a recovering wound. I'd done a decent job. While his sculpted chest was nothing to complain about, his pessimistic mood definitely was. "I'm meditating with Iroh this morning, my prince."

The teen huffed a stream of black smoke, taking one step forward with fire in his hands. "I'm here to train and I don't need you getting in my way!" He had a temper, much like my father. Although Prince Zuko was all bark and no bite so far. Something in his hunt for the Avatar had put him in a bad mood this morning.

"Easy now, children," Iroh said in a calm, fatherly manner. He stepped between the two of us, his arms folded within the long sleeves of his robe. "I've brought you both here because I believe it would be beneficial if you practiced together."

We turned to each other in surprise. Surprise was kind of cute on his face. "No, Iroh, not with the prince—"

"I'd hurt her, why would I—?"

"You will," the old man said simply with a mischievous smile, "because the prince needs to learn how to teach, and you need to be able to protect yourself." 

I was instantly up on my feet, but Zuko was clenching his fists. "She isn't even a Firebender!"

While I took offense at that, I didn't argue it. No sense in letting him know that I was. Iroh seemed to be thinking a little differently as he said, "Neither is the Avatar." This seemed to pique the prince's interest, lighting a fire in his eyes. "Emiko is small, about the same size as Aang. See what skills she already has, and then teach her what she is missing from the Avatar’s skillset."

Hearing the Avatar's name was crazy. I couldn't even picture what he looked like, but his name made the thought of him a little more human. I pictured an old, wizened man.

Zuko and I stared each other down for a moment. I wasn't up to full speed yet after getting injured and I'd seen Zuko fight before. He was quick and ruthless and calculating. He was obviously built like a machine and trained most of the time he spent awake. Even with the training I'd had over the years, there was no way I could hold my own against this guy.

Still, I thought about it. I hadn't trained in a very long while. I was getting weak and comforted by my life on board the ship, but those steel walls wouldn't hold and protect me forever. While my wound was still healing and didn't look its best, it would probably be good to start exercising again.

"Fine," we both said at the same time. He began sizing me up as he backed away and took a fighting stance. I took a deep breath and did the same after tying up my baggy clothing. No sense in giving him something to grab or burn.

Iroh came up behind me and kicked my feet apart to widen my stance. "No gut or shoulder shots. No injuries. All else goes."

He never told me to play clean. So, when Iroh let us go and Zuko came rushing forward with fists full of fire, I brushed his left arm out of the way, placed my right leg behind his left, and flipped myself over his back. I grabbed his ponytail and pulled him to the ground, making him land hard on his back, using his body weight and momentum against him.

Zuko's angry growl startled me as he twirled himself on his hands, his legs kicking mine out from under me. I lost my breath for a moment when my ass hit the metal, but I quickly recovered and rolled out of the way before his heel could kick a fiery hold in my face. I crab walked backward as he advanced with kicks to my head. I finally was able to roll out of the way enough to get back in a crouch, crossing my arms in front of my face to block a punch there. I had to hand it to him, he was faster than I'd given him credit for. I knew he'd be strong and a decent firebender, but I was unaware how impressed I'd be.

We traded fast jabs at one another. I had more speed and flexibility, but he would easily overpower me if I gave him the chance. I could feel his hits starting to leave bruises. For every one I dodged, he quickly changed his path and connected the next one. It was obvious that he was hitting me hard on purpose. Whether to teach me a lesson or because he didn't know how strong he was, I wasn't sure. I retaliated with three times the hits that he landed. While they weren't as hard, I hoped that the combined force of them would start to wear him out. As it was, I wasn't going to survive in an up-close-and-personal battle.

I dropped to the ground in an instant and swung myself between his legs. When I came up, I was standing with one finger in the middle of his back. As he turned to attacked, I dodged each and every time. I could feel the heat of the fire, but I was too close to him for him to really try to hurt me. I'd always tried to be on the defensive because of how small I was. If I could wear my attacker out, I'd be able to retaliate or get away.

Hoping to end this battle, I wrapped one of my legs around his and pushed him to the ground. He made a nasty _clunk_ as he impacted, slightly paralyzed. I took advantage of his defenseless state and pulled both hands behind him.

Zuko easily bucked me off, turning to land on top of me. Instead of letting him win, I wrapped my legs around his waist and we tumbled along the ground, trying to best the other. I kept twisting out of his grasp when he tried to manhandle my arms or wrap his own arms around me. Meanwhile, my legs never left the death grip around his hips. I tried to obey Iroh's rules as much as I could, after all.

He was being even more hesitant with his hand placements than I knew he normally would be. He didn't want to grab anything inappropriately, so I used it to my advantage as I wrestled his grip away. It wouldn't last long, though, I knew. I was tiring out from not having practiced hand-to-hand in so long and it would only be a matter of time before he overpowered me.

I grunted in a slight pain--I twisted awkwardly and hurt myself during a turn of power. I was on my back, my legs still wrapped around his hips, but they fell after that illegal hit. He took that turn to sit on my hips and grab my wrists again, this time keeping me pinned. I was too tired to fight him. He had a slight sheen on his face, arms, and chest, defining his lean muscles. His chest was heaving from the effort he'd put in to subdue me. All the while he just... _stared_ at me. 

His uninjured eye was surrounded by thick lashes. His nose was long and regal. And fuck, he was hot. _A hot distraction!_ I bucked my hips to bring him out of the uncomfortable stare. He startled and leaned back a little but didn't release my wrists. I raised an eyebrow at him and said, "That's point. Let me up."

The prince threw my hands away from him and stood up to face an amused Iroh. "See, Prince Zuko? She is very wily and agile. What she lacks in strength, she gains in agility and cunning. I feel as though it will be beneficial for both of you to continue practicing together. At least an hour a day, every day."

"There's only so much you can ask of me, Iroh," I groaned, sitting up from my position on the ground. The metal was cold and unforgiving. "I'm not here to be Zuko's punching bag."

"That's _Prince Zuko_ to you," he growled, this time without the fire in his hands. He was more tired than he was letting on. At the least, he wasn't yelling. "And I agree with Iroh. You fight a lot like the Avatar and it would... _help_...me to learn how to defend against his fighting style." He said 'help' as if it were a deadly disease he could catch just by saying its name.

I took a deep breath and laid my arms across my upraised knees. "Well...I guess I could." Training with a master and a prince? When would I get this opportunity again?

Iroh smiled and said, "Very well! Sunrise, every day, we will meet here! Now, for some Pai Sho. Emiko, feel free to roam until lunch time. I'll want you to join me on deck for some duck." With that, he disappeared into the crew quarters.

I held my hand out and Zuko disinterestedly grabbed it, pulling me up. He pulled too hard until we were a breath away, our noses almost touching, and he stared at me again in the same creepy way. I tried to get away but he grabbed my chin and held me close again. "Zuko, what are you doing? You're making me uncomfortable."

His eyes widened, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. He cleared his throat before terrifying words came out of his mouth. "I need a clear answer from you now before I allow you to train with me."

Iroh's words from a few days ago flashed into my mind. "Your uncle once told me that it was wise to ask for the question before I answer." 

The prince's jaw set. It was a nice jaw. Not a hint of scruff on his perfectly-shaven face. I'd never noticed, but he was tall compared to me. My head came just below the chin connected to that jaw. "Are you a firebender?"

It felt like ice water ran through my veins. I tried to pull away and roll my eyes casually to hide it. "No. Obviously not." Somehow, he could tell. Iroh could tell. Koh, I usually could tell too, but I hadn't realized that it was a skill most people had! When someone was a firebender, their eyes burned bright. Sometimes there was an extra bit of heat radiating from their hands. But Zuko must have been able to see it in my eyes.

"Don't. Lie. To me." He said this low, not with anger, but with promise. He trusted me, had allowed me to stay on his ship. 

I was too scared to tell him the truth. "I-I'm not, Prince Zuko. Please..."

He bared his teeth. "Liar!" I was pushed away from him before he prepared a firebending stance. "Take a stance, Emiko. Now!"

"No," I insisted, "I won't! Please, don't do this." I didn't want to bend. Not with him. Not with Iroh, either. Just breathing, and stretching, and hand-to-hand.

He circled me, never leaving his stance. "Lost little girl, running from something. Tell me the truth! Or I'll let you keep running!"

"Fine," I breathed, tears starting to fall from my eyes. He was cruel, but he was right—I couldn’t keep something like this from him, not when he was harboring me. "You want some fire?" I raised my arms, still sore from sparring, and coated them in flame. Tails of fire danced out of my fingertips. The light from them shone in Zuko's topaz eyes, a scary look hiding there. I hadn't bended in years and I was exhausted. Just that little bit of fire made me shake. It dissipated, leaving my knees weak. "That's it. I can do some party tricks with the stamina I've got."

Vision blurry, I saw a shaky vision of the prince coming toward me. I tried to move, but he grabbed the front of my tunic and pulled me up, getting into my face again. "If you _ever_ keep something like this from me again, I will throw you overboard and let the shark-wasps have you."

I still couldn't see straight, but I knew from the tone in his voice that he was serious. A small panic started to rise in my stomach about being thrown overboard. I couldn't swim, and drowning might have been my worst fear. "I know, I'm a guest on your ship and you've saved my life. I'm sorry that I kept being a firebender from you. Just... _please_ let me go."

Zuko blinked in awe for a moment, probably not expecting me to apologize. He sat me back down on my feet and sighed in disgust. For a few moments, he didn't move, just stared over my shoulder out to the rising sun. "Your hand-to-hand is weak."

A small, humorless huff left my lips. "Thanks, I guess."

One of his hands tilted my face up. He looked into my eyes with a surly expression. It pulled at his skin. I wanted to smooth it out to keep him from getting wrinkles. "We'll have to work on your stamina, and your breathing. Broken ribs will be a bitch, but it'll help to make sure you don't develop pneumonia." 

I'd never heard him curse before. His... _helpfulness_...was curious too. He'd been nothing but abrasive towards me. That and creepy, with all his staring. I realized then that he'd been staring to see if I was a firebender. "I...yeah, my breathing is shit."

"You need rest. Are you sleeping? Eating?"

His sudden concern was...concerning. He hadn’t exactly been welcoming, but he also had saved my life multiple times and let me stay on board his ship. My confused, wary brain didn't know whether to trust or to run away screaming. "I...I mean, kind of. And kind of. I've been a little stressed recently." The last part was said with an obvious tone but he didn't seem to notice.

"My uncle is testing me by having me train you. I know it. Make sure you do everything in your power to make sure I pass this test, got it?" He was so intense. And so _close._

I put a hand on his chest as to push him back but he didn't budge. So I craned my neck to look into his much-taller eyes. _Spirits, this chest isn't fair._ My hands shook and maybe dipped to touch his abs. "I-I don't like to Firebend."

"Too bad."

That was when the boat made a drastic turn, making everyone lose their balance. Zuko fell into me, one arm falling to grip the railing and the other gripping the back of my head. I just barely missed hitting my head on the side of the ship. I'd wrapped my arms around his waist to catch him and keep him from falling, which just shoved my face into his neck.

He smelled like sweat, smoke, and something a little spicy, like fire whiskey or fire flakes. I hadn't noticed when we'd been rolling around on the floor, but his toned body felt amazingly wonderful against mine. He was sculpted all over. I groaned as one of his knees shoved between mine to steady himself. _I hope he didn't hear that._

The prince angrily lifted his head and yelled, "Who set us off course?" Zuko tried to untangle himself from me but my hair got caught on his wristband and his hair had somehow gotten tangled in my collar. I tugged away from him and we both cursed the other. Finally, he just pulled my braid from its confines and I did the same with his warrior's tail.

He looked funny without the tail and just the hair down behind his back. It wasn't a bad funny, just different. It was softer than it looked and it flowed down to around his shoulder blades. I just wished that he'd grown it out all around his head rather than that little square patch. Keeping it shaved smooth like that took some time and it made him appear years older than he actually was.

The prince started angrily treading up the stairs to the helmsman's quarters where I heard screaming coming from not a moment later. Then, the entire room filled with smoke and spilled out to the deck. I still wasn't even sure what had happened. Then he poked his head out and pointed at me. "You! Sunrise, tomorrow. No excuses."

Somehow, I'd gone from refugee to the Dragon of the West's servant, and he my physical therapist. (Iroh called me an assistant, but getting him food and his morning card games definitely equated to being his way-too-highly-paid-for-this-light-bit-of-work servant.) Now, the crowned prince of the Fire Nation was my own personal trainer. I had to do something about my mounting attraction to his shoulders, but...maybe for just a bit I could enjoy the view. Even if that view had a nasty bark sometimes.

* * *

It was so nice to get out on my feet again that I was skipping down the streets. My heart was light knowing that I wasn’t going to be kicked out. The town was a small Earth Kingdom village that didn’t want any trouble from the Fire Nation. There didn’t seem to be a lot to do, but I didn’t really care. I just wanted to be _not_ in the middle of the ocean. And have a morning break from Zuko who ran me ragged. I was so out of shape that I could barely walk down stairs with how sore I'd become.

I heard Iroh chuckle behind me. "Do not be so eager, young one. We have all the time we need."

"Not if Zuko has anything to say about it," I grumbled, picking up the many herbs and spices needed to make Iroh's favorite tea from a stall in the marketplace. It was a little expensive, but he was paying so what did I care? He also wanted to buy me clothes but I still had enough left to buy a new set myself with the money I’d stolen from Zhao. Iroh was very nice but his clothes didn't really fit me and I couldn’t accept any more of his charity.

"How has my nephew been with training?" Zuko's words flashed into my head, the ones about me making sure he succeeded in Iroh's test. Iroh was definitely prying here for information. 

"A little rough, but fair," was all I said. It was true. The man was incredibly strong and sometimes didn't know his own strength, but he understood the level of strength my body held and how much it could and couldn't do. He still pushed me, but not to the point of breaking. "I think you taught him well, sir."

The man smiled. "I am glad. And the bending?"

 _I should have known Zuko would tell him._ "Uh...yeah, also coming along. Thanks for asking."

"We would be the last ones to judge you for your abilities, Emiko." He patted me on the shoulder and gazed at me with those kind eyes. 

It made me feel so guilty, but how was I to know that _this_ group of firebenders wasn’t going to sell me to my father? I couldn’t just let my walls down any time a kind old man patched me up, or a handsome guy flashed his chest my way. I’d literally be dead if I did that.

Iroh’s hazel-colored eyes brightened when he saw something behind me. "Ooh, Emiko, this tunic is handsome! It would look lovely on you.” He was gesturing to a very pretty light-yellow dress that rather matched my eyes.

I grimaced and tried to get his mind off the subject of dresses, or, as I called them, 'walking death traps.' "I thought we were looking for a Lotus Tile." Tea and the lotus tile were the main reason for this excursion. Zuko wanted to move on as quickly as possible. This Avatar was fast, it seemed, and a master of evasion. Surprising for an old man, but what could you do if he’d been in hiding for one hundred years?

"Yes, but I thought that while we were here we could put you in clothing that really suits you." He frowned, motioning to the large tunic that covered my top half now. "Let’s face it, my clothing _hardly_ does that."

I felt myself growing hot in the cheeks, shaking my head at him. "I'm fine, General." I didn't need him buying me anything. It would only put me into more of his debt. “Really, I’ll grab some basics. Don’t worry about me.”

"You deserve nice things!" He smiled widely at me, and I had to blush and look at the floor, shuffling my feet. “As my new assistant, I need you to look the part. So I will be buying this for you."

I wasn't used to being spoiled or given anything, even as a small girl. My mother had made it certain that I'd been brought up right, that I was given modest things and wasn't spoiled, so that I didn't turn out to be like a certain prince I knew. _That boy gets angry over a slightly overcooked tuna steak._ And then, after she'd died, I’d mostly been on my own. "At least take it out of my salary?" I begged, uncomfortable with his generosity.

"Nonsense. It is about time to see you in a dress anyway. Good madam!" He called over a kind-looking elderly woman standing outside a large silk tent who smiled sweetly at us both. "If you could take my young child and fit her into some rather nice clothes…make sure that they do not drown her." I gave him a harsh look, blush lighting up my cheeks. "Meanwhile, I will be looking for my Lotus Tile. Spare no expense, madam."

And with that, he left me with a docile old lady with fashion evil in her eyes. I wasn't sure who I actually hated more in that moment—Iroh, or the people who designed walking death traps.

* * *

**Zuko**

"Uncle, we've already looked for your Lotus Tile all day and haven’t found it. We should move on, we’re losing daylight.”

Iroh didn't seem to be listening to his nephew, making Zuko groan and collapse on the nearest chair. He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes as Iroh carried on about something to Emiko. When he opened his eyes, Zuko saw his men walking by with armloads of merchandise. Iroh had deep pockets and when he wanted to go on a spending spree, that’s exactly what he did.

Wait…were they in a women’s _dress shop_? Zuko looked around to see dresses and women’s unmentionables lining the room. He averted his eyes and coughed. “Uncle, _what are you doing here?_ ” He knew his uncle was perverted, but _this…_

“For Miss Emiko,” the old man said, turning to show what looked like a girl and nothing like the Emiko he'd trained the last week.

Zuko’s face felt hot as he stared at Emiko, her hair down and around her shoulders. It was wavy from being taken out of her braid, framing her oval face. The dress she was wearing was a shade lighter than her eyes, almost white, with long sleeves and a high neckline. It belted at her small waist, accentuating her wide hips. When Iroh twirled her, Zuko coughed and looked down. He hadn’t seen her in form-fitting clothes yet and her hips and ass in that dress made him have thoughts that were inappropriate. He distracted himself with her dainty shoes that matched the intricate design of the dress.

“How does she look, Prince Zuko?” Iroh’s eyes told Zuko that the man knew _exactly_ what he was doing. 

Zuko shot the man a look before he met Emiko’s eyes. Her cheeks had a little tinge of pink to them but she met his eyes without fidgeting. He was surprised to see the heat there still. When he’d first met her, she’d been so meek. There’d been no indication of her being a bender at all. Someone that meek would never be able to hold the fire inside. Then, she’d stood up to him and a flash, like a match lighting, flickered in her eyes. Every day, that fire had grown stronger until he knew that she was a bender. How she’d hidden it, he had no idea, but the pure raw _power_ inside of her startled him every now and then.

That power was there now, daring him to put her down. Daring him to say something nasty, something cruel. But he couldn’t. She was…fuck, she was _cute_. “You look…nice.” He couldn’t say it with anything but a frown, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

Emiko’s eyes brightened, if that was possible. Her face flushed red and her mouth opened. It almost insulted him a little—he could be a gentleman every so often, it wasn’t _that_ surprising!

“Then it’s settled!” Iroh clapped his hands and pushed Emiko back into the dressing room. “Come now, get changed and let’s get back to the ship!”

She squeaked when she landed in the cubicle. “Iroh, I wasn’t really looking for dresses! Especially this nice! Please, it’s too much.”

"The only thing better than finding what you were looking for is finding something you weren't looking for at a great bargain!" he exclaimed as a man came in and asked Iroh if his order was right. Iroh signed the form and told Emiko to get changed, making sure that she would get the dress.

Zuko ran a hand over his face to rid himself of the stupid emotion there. He grumbled as he almost laughed hat her under-the-breath complaining in the dressing room. The girl was going to be trouble if he couldn’t control the awkward teenager in him trying to flirt. He ran his hand from his face over the top of his head to see his men walking by with a crazy amount of items that they most definitely didn’t need. “You got a _Sumki Horn_?”

"For music night on the ship!" Uncle exclaimed, a large smile adorned on his lips. "Now if only we had some woodwinds…"

Emiko walked out of the dressing room wearing a simple white tunic with white-gold embellishments, her hair up in that same braid she always kept it in, and white pants with white-gold slip-on shoes. She still looked rather dashing, though, and Zuko cursed his hormones for reacting to a girl in a shirt and pants. _Calm yourself you idiot._

"Now all you need are some things to furnish your room, Emiko," Iroh said with a large smile, giving Emiko a gentle nudge out of the shop. He gave the older shopkeeper Emiko's new dress to send back to the ship and took both teenagers outside into the light, making Zuko blink from the change in brightness. "Ooh, this place looks promising!” The older man was pointing up a large, dark ship docked in the harbor, looming over them.

Zuko grimaced as Iroh went towards what looked like a black market. Not bothering to pay attention, he bumped into a soft body that grabbed onto him to keep from falling. He reached out and grabbed Emiko, ready to scold her, when he saw that her face was as pale as her new clothes.

"I-I'm not going in there," she whispered, her light eyes wide with hesitation and worry. The flame in them flickered out. _Interesting._ "Nope. I'll see you back at the ship." She turned around only to run back into him, and he steadied her with his hands to her shoulders.

She really did look scared, like a little child who was left all alone. The fear dimmed the power of fire in her core. It was almost like she’d turned off her bending ability. He wondered, if he pushed her, if she’d get that fire back. 

Sighing, he put his hand between her shoulder blades and pushed her forwards. "Iroh is in there. It's not like anything is going to happen."

"No, I'm fine, really." She tried to turn herself around but he didn’t let her wiggle out of his grasp. He pushed her up the gangplank before she even tried to turn around again. "Zuko, let me go!"

With a stubbornness that ran in his family, Zuko gripped her arms and shook her slightly. "We won't be in here long, so just get over your petty fears and get inside the damn boat!"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she tore out of his grip. She straightened her new clothes as if he burdened her with his touch. Something flickered in her eyes besides anger. Then she pursed her lips, turned her nose up at him, and marched into the ship.

 _Really interesting._ When she had a backbone, she had the aura of a firebender. Something...or some _one_ had scared her so badly that she'd lost her inner fire. Even still, when she was away from whatever that trauma was, she lost it whenever she was afraid. That was his theory, at least. He planned on testing it out in their future bending lessons. Somehow, that girl needed to keep the little backbone she had. Something in him told him that if she did, she'd be a really good bender.

When Zuko finally made sure that she wouldn't come back out, he walked into the shop. Just as he’d suspected, every single item in that shop was hot. Not hot as in on fire, but hot as in _stolen_. Iroh was admiring something, with, "Oooh! This is handsome!" Emiko was right behind Iroh like a small, scared child. She looked as though she wanted to cling to the back of his shirt.

He turned back to look at weapons for a while, even admiring a set of Dual Dao swords. It wouldn't hurt to get a new pair. He'd learned years ago from Master Piando about the art of swords and sword crafting. He spent a few minutes browsing before grasping a set; it was balanced well. "I'll take these," he said to a rat-faced pirate who nodded with a smirk.

The same pirate turned to leave before he spotted Emiko. Zuko moved to stand in front of her subconsciously. Something about the way the man looked at her made the prince’s skin crawl. He turned back to see that Emiko was shaking, hands fisted and teeth clenched, but she was holding her ground behind Iroh. When she met his eyes she glared at him, but he just smiled softly and nodded. She was doing well and facing her fear.

* * *

**Emiko**

I sighed and leaned on a staff that I'd bought with my own money at the port. I didn't have much left, but I also didn't want Iroh paying for anything if he didn't have to. After the crazy amount of clothing and furniture he bought me at the shop that day, I owed him two-hundred and thirty-six gold pieces. _Where am I going to get that kind of money?_ Iroh was paying me, but there was no way my salary would pay that debt back any time soon. I saved up every bronze piece I could in a little box under my bed. One day, it would be enough.

For the first time, Zuko had brought me along with him on a hunt for the Avatar. _“An extra bender wouldn’t hurt,”_ he’d said, surprising both his uncle and me. I hated that it was _this mission_ specifically, but he was starting to trust me a little. I smiled and rubbed my cheeks to get rid of the smile that gave me. I couldn't smile at something like that when I was in a sketchy situation with people I didn't trust. The pirates came along with us this go around, crowding the already-small ship. Iroh had blocked off a makeshift bedroom for me, while the rest of the boys slept in hammocks under the deck. Barker and the captain of the ship were here, while the rest of the crew were coming in behind us.

I stared out onto the water from the prow of the cutter, the small ship that could deploy from under Zuko's main ship. We were going through rivers near the town we'd bought supplies in, where apparently the Avatar and his girlfriend had stolen a waterbending scroll. _Why would the master of all elements need a waterbending scroll? Good for him on the girlfriend thing though._ Iroh wouldn't explain to me why we had to go after this poor old Avatar-man, but I wondered if it had anything to do with the reason Zuko wasn't in the Fire Nation. Whatever the reason, I shook my head; it wasn't like it was my business anyway. I was just along for the ride.

Something made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I turned to see the pirate captain standing behind me, his face emotionless. _Spirits, he's getting old,_ was my first thought. His pure grey hair was let down around his shoulders, his face a map of deep wrinkles. His beady eyes were shadowed by the large hat on his head. "Emiko! What a nice surprise to see you with the _Fire Nation_ again."

I had no idea who he thought he was, but I was pretty sure that I'd never given him permission to use my given name, nor had I given him any indication that I wanted to talk to him. I could have lived an entire life without talking to one of them again.

I turned away from him and gritted my teeth to keep my voice low and calm. "I didn't know that we were now on a first name basis, _Captain."_ His eyes raked over me, like he was preparing to sell me off again. I just hadn't been able to take it anymore. I'd been stealing, lying, and cheating for over two years with them, and yet I'd felt nothing. I'd had no conscience, and I would have done anything to anyone as long as I'd gotten what I had needed by the right time for my clients. So finally, I'd put a stop to it. There had been some rough patches between myself and the crew, which is what led them to turn me over to my father for a quick buck.

The prince broke our awkward silence and made me feel a tad bit safer. Zuko wouldn’t listen to my warnings about these guys, but I couldn’t tell him why I was so nervous around them. The pirate and he talked them for a minute before the man left, his eyes never leaving me.

Zuko tried to follow but I reached out and grabbed his arm. My sudden feeling of unease told me to stop him, to convince him differently. But when he turned to me with a question and a little surprise in his eyes, I was too caught up in his gaze and too nervous to articulate properly.

“What, Emiko?” One of his hands landed on mine and I _really_ lost my train of thought. Those hands were usually punching or directing me in training. He’d never just… _touched me_. His hands were surprisingly large and _soft_ and warm, like a firebender’s should be.

“I…” Thinking about these men, the terrors they’d caused people, that _I’d_ caused people… I knew that I had to warn him. "We don't need them, Zuko. They're bad news. They'd double cross you for a gold piece if they could."

Zuko checked to make sure that the captain wasn't watching—the old man was peering out of the telescope on the prow—before he turned back to me and moved closer, so he could lower his voice. "Getting the Avatar is top priority. If I say that we use these men, I expect you to trust my judgment. They know where he is, so we use them. End of story."

He was intimidating in his full set of traditional armor. Strong and solid. He smelled nice, standing so close. His hand under mine was warm. "I've worked with them before, Zuko.” His eyes widened, obviously surprised. “They’re nasty. Get them off of this boat and back to the harbor before they steal the shoes off of your feet."

He gave me an inconspicuous onceover that made me clench my teeth. “ _You_? No way you ever worked with pirates.” 

I clenched my fists to keep myself from saying something I’d regret. Instead, I put my foot in my mouth. “Beg your pardon, but you don’t really know anything about me, sir.”

What had been a playful glint in his eyes turned dark. He shouldered me as he moved past and I was shocked to be pushed into the cabin onboard the cutter. “You’re right. Should clue you in to why I don’t trust your judgement, or your word.” The door to the cabin slammed behind him, jarring me. My heart felt heavy.

Someone cleared their throat behind me. I turned to see Iroh giving me a pitying glance. “That could have gone better, hmm?”

* * *

A few hours later, after Iroh had checked in with Zuko and left me some cold tea that I reheated with my Firebending, he came back in and closed the curtain between the many stacks of boxes separating me from the rest of the storage facility. "It is time for wrapping again, Emiko.”

I sighed and sat down on my make-shift bed, pulling my shirt over my head and relaxing my arms. The movement barely hurt anymore. "Have we found anything yet?"

"No," he said off-handedly, laying all of the dirty wrapping to the side. He put on the usual kind of healing salve, which felt nice but left my entire side numb. The wound was looking absolutely gross with yellow bruises, but that meant it was healing. The scar would be crazy, though. It was all crusty. "But we will, soon. Until then I want you to rest."

I frowned at this, mumbling to him that I didn't want to rest, I wanted to help! He shushed me and placed a large bandage around the laceration, taping the sides down. 

"Is there anything you would like to tell me about the pirates, Emiko?" he asked suddenly as he started wrapping my waist with gauze. He wouldn't meet my eyes. "I couldn’t help but notice that you were quite distressed."

I couldn't meet his eyes, either, though. Shame filled me as I admitted, "They…sold me to my father.”

“ _Oh_.” 

I knew a look of pity would be on his face and I didn’t want to see it. Instead of embarrassment, I felt anger. “I trusted them, and they stabbed me in the back. They're cheating scum, and I can't believe that Zuko is teaming up with them to find this poor old man. I bet that he isn't even the Avatar!"

Iroh let out a barking laugh that startled me. The conversation definitely wasn’t funny in the least! "The Avatar is not an old man, child. He is younger than you, in fact!"

I pulled away from his hands and let the excess cloth fall down and loosen around my waist. "What?"

"It is a miracle, Emiko," he said softly, grasping my arm making me stop moving. "The Avatar is alive, and young enough to finish his training."

"How young?" I asked incredulously, wondering how we could have lost to someone younger than us. Zuko wouldn't have let some kid best him on _multiple occasions_! "And how little of training has he had?"

"He has only learned Airbending, from my knowledge. And he must be fourteen or fifteen, if that."

I gaped at that for a while, speechless. The second my wrapping was finished and Uncle stood up, dusting off his hands, was the second that the boat lurched to a halt. "I take it we've found something?"

He stroked his beard, suspicion in his eyes. "Possibly."

"Well then, let's go!" I exclaimed, standing up a little too fast for my numb side to comprehend. I stumbled back to the bed. "Whoa! Looks like your medicine works a little too well, Iroh."

"You are not going anywhere," he said, giving me that stern look that meant I had to sit down and listen or I wasn't going to like the consequences. He put a hand on my shoulder and sat me down firmly, keeping me there. "You will sit here and rest. If anything arises, then I will come for you personally. Until then, stay."

 _As if I were a boar-hound or something!_ "I can't let Zuko work with that scum. He may be an asshole, but I still don't want him to get hurt."

"I will be there," he said with a mock hurt, one hand over his heart.

“That—” That was true. I couldn’t refute it, but I also couldn't get over my gut feeling that something was about to go horribly wrong. Only the best-of-the-best joined The Captain's crew—bomb experts, wranglers, thieves, crooks, and spies. They were the best group of con artists I’d ever met, and they’d done some terrible things in their lives. My conscience hurt having ever helped them with anything. “That’s true.”

His eyes softened when he saw what must have been panic in my face. He brushed a loose piece of hair over one of my ears. "Stay and rest. I will look after my nephew. We will have a few guards with us as well, if it makes you feel better."

_It doesn't._

* * *

I awoke from a deep sleep to a sound that wasn't natural. Well, it wasn't from nature, at least, because this ship made quite a bit of racket as it rolled and bobbed on the river.

I slowly sat up, grimacing at the signals my wound was sending to my brain. The medicine had worn off by then. I pulled on the wrap that had come with the nightgown that Iroh had bought me, tying the black sash around my waist so that my wrapping and underwear didn't show.

I peeked open the curtain that separated me from the rest of the storage room, recognizing a familiar smell. "Hello?" I asked to the corridor, so softly that I felt like an idiot. It could have just been a rat for all I knew.

But when the gag was wrapped around my mouth and a large burlap sack was pulled down over my head, I knew that I was an idiot for not keeping my guard up. I screamed with all my might before someone punched me through the side of the burlap sack, hitting me in the stomach. I figured that it wouldn't be a good idea to puke with a gag in my mouth, so I stopped struggling. They hit me again anyway. I cried as my mending ribs screamed and cracked.

_Don't panic. Panicking is bad. Panicking leads to not being able to breathe. Not being able to breathe while gagged in a potato sack is a bad thing._

It was a while before I was flopped down onto soft grass and into the crescent moon's light.

I tore my gag off and tore the bag from my head, taking deep breaths of the cool air and looking at my surroundings for an escape route. Two pirates, new hires since I’d been aboard, stood on either side of me with rope. They glared at me and verbally dared me to try to escape. We were in a clearing away from the cutter, near the pirate’s ship that was ready to leave without the prince’s knowledge.

My heart was pounding fast, adrenaline pulsing through my system. Breathing hurt so incredibly bad that I took short, shallow breaths that only increased my panic. _They have me again. They’re going to take me. Iroh couldn’t protect me. No one can protect me. I can’t even protect myself._

My vision blackened around the edges as a foot pushed me to the side. I gasped and stared up into a circle of faces. The captain was one of the men, as far as I could tell from his hat. “Don’t let her fool you, boys. This firebender will flay the skin from your bones as soon as smile at you.” He tied my hands together behind me and tied my feet to them and wrapping the rope around me.

If looks could kill, my eyes would shoot steel daggers into every pirate’s heart around me. “You’re monsters!” My words were wheezy, my ribs making it hard to breathe. Blood was seeping out through my nice new night tunic, the wound from the earthbenders having broken in the scuffle. 

He pulled me up and over his shoulder, ignoring my cry of pain. "Zhao has raised the bounty on you if we bring you alive. We could bring you dead, but that way we only get half the money."

Total fear paralyzed me. I wanted to fight back, wanted to have a clear enough mind to be able to protect myself. Instead, I was weak. Just like my father had always told me. _He has a bounty on me…to kill me?_ I never thought he’d stoop that low to be _right_.

A flash of anger fueled my adrenaline as I screamed and blew fire down the captain’s back. He cried out in pain and threw me to the ground. I rolled and vomited, the pain almost causing me to black out. Footsteps behind me as the pirates cursed and screamed. I kicked my feet out, fire engulfing the non-benders who screamed in agony, and flew ten feet away from the direction of those footsteps before my bending sputtered out in a sad wisp of smoke.

Someone burst through the woods, fire behind them darkening them to only a silhouette. But I knew him by shape. "Zuko!" I sobbed, wishing that I could breathe. “ _Please_ , help me…”

I was turned away from the fight that ensued, but more of Zuko’s men came pouring from the direction I could see. One of them stopped to help me, burning the rope around me while trying to talk to me. I couldn’t hear him or even see his face to identify him. He tried to touch me but I cried and flinched away before vomiting again, this time only stomach acid. I curled into a ball and wished for the world to go away.

Instead, two strong arms wrapped around me and grounded me in the world again. One under my knees, the other behind my head. I tried to fight but soft words were whispered in my ear, a familiar gravelly voice that broke past my defenses. I clutched hard armor and breathed in his smokey scent and passed out before we even made it back to the cutter.


	6. Just wanna be free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the pirate's betrayal, Zuko feels something akin to guilt and Emiko is high as balls.
> 
> Warnings: medicine making a patient loopy, talk of selling a human being

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and upped the character's ages. Emiko is almost 18, similar to what I will have Katara, Ty Lee, and Azula be at. Mei I'm gonna age up a little more for some other fun backstory stuff, probably 19/20. Aang is 15/16. Sokka and Zuko are probably around 20 or so.

**Emiko**

I groaned when I woke up, my entire body aching from lack of oxygen and renewed injuries. Like everyone else on the planet, I didn’t enjoy pain, but I specifically was one of the bad kinds of patients. I whined, I bawled, and I complained to anyone within hearing range. The only problem was that no one was in hearing range so I usually moaned to myself. No one really appreciates the characteristic of self-pity until they've whined to themselves for a half an hour.

My stomach churned from lack of food and previous emptying of its contents. It took me a while to get up with the bandages cutting off circulation around my ribcage, but somehow I managed. I was _definitely_ heavily drugged because I couldn't walk in a straight line. The medicine must have done something to my depth perception because I ran straight into the door.

Why did I hurt so bad, again? My brain was foggy and pounding. Flashes of Iroh and Zuko in my mind calmed me. _Not my dad again. Just hurt. They’re taking care of me._

I forced the door open, ignoring the pain of my entire body, and set out to the head. I was on a mission to use the restroom or vomit, I wasn’t sure which. It sounded like the best decision to make. Instead, somehow I ended up on the deck.

Clouds lightly covered the half-moon and let me have little glow to catch my bearings. A roll of the ship churned my stomach, though, and before I realized it I was spilling my guts into the ocean. I groaned and slumped onto the floor, putting my head against the cool metal. There was nothing in my stomach, so what I vomited was mostly acid. My throat burned. I felt sick. _At least the metal is cool and comfortable…_

Then the ground was lifted out from under me. I didn't know who it was since my eyes were closed, but I had a pretty good idea who owned those muscular arms.

* * *

**Zuko**

"G-go away, Zuko. P-put me b-back on the g-ground…" The swaying motion he had while carrying her probably didn't help her uneasy stomach.

He pulled her arm up around his neck before situating her legs on one forearm, using the other arm to support her back. “You need to be in bed.”

“Been in bed…” The whininess was actually a little adorable. Usually either meek or trying to stand strong, this side of her was amusing. “Just wanna be free…”

Iroh had forced Zuko to become Emiko’s caretaker after she’d been abducted by the pirates. Something about needing to listen to his subjects. Iroh’s scolding hadn’t even been the catalyst to him taking care of the girl and staying by her side for the last two nights, though. Seeing her struggle against those men, watching her suffer after he had ignored her advice…he could have prevented all of her anguish if he’d just _listened._ Iroh was right. He was _always_ right.

Something in Zuko unfroze when he thought about protecting her. About taking care of someone other than himself. It refroze as he thought of hunting down the people who’d hurt her, the ones who put posters of her wanted dead or alive throughout the New Fire Nation colonies in the once-Earth Kingdom. The fact that she just wanted to be _free_ broke him. He wanted to break them for ever hurting someone this way.

He had burned at least three posters in the last week, and he was determined to burn more. Iroh promised him that the girl wasn’t a threat to the ship or to them. Yet somehow this girl was associated with someone who wanted her so badly as to piss off _Prince Zuko_ , who, while banished, was still Fire Nation royalty. That, and she’d been a part of that murdering thieves’ guild before they backstabbed her. How could he trust someone who had so many secrets? Who wanted to hurt a scared girl _that badly?_

Emiko's head lolled against his shoulder. She felt warm to the touch, which was saying something with his inner firebender heat. He carefully moved back down the stairs she’d somehow climbed and said, “You are free to move around on the ship, but until you’re healed you need to be more careful.”

"W-worried about me, Zhhuko?" she asked cheekily, a dazed smile in her eyes. It took his breath away, that innocent little smile directed up at him.

"You wish.” He rolled his eyes and hid the reaction her drugged words caused.

Her nose against his collarbone almost startled him enough to drop her as he tried to open the door to the medical room. He managed to nudge the door open with his hip, trying to ignore how soft she and her silk button-up were against his skin. That and goose bumps rose where she breathed on his skin. He couldn’t understand what she said, though. “What?”

She slurred through something that sounded like, “How long was I out?”

“Two days.”

"Mmm…" she mumbled before letting out a small puff of air. "D’you know thatshyou smell like a fire…? A really good fire."

His face was on fire as he maneuvered her out of his hold and under the blankets of a medical bed, propping her up a little with pillows so he could take care of her. “Thank you, I think.” He moved to the head of the bed and poured a tin cup full of pitcher water before he lifted her head up as if it were fragile and bringing the cup to her lips. She tried to gulp it all the way down the second she realized it was water. "Don't drink too fast," he said harshly, pulling it away from her. "You'll get sick."

She whined and _pouted_ even, something a woman her age shouldn’t have been legally allowed to do. “M’already sick, think it’schalled broken bibs.”

Zuko rolled his eyes. _What a petulant child._ He grabbed the breathing tool for situations like this and held it in front of her. “Yeah, and broken ribs come with pneumonia. Breathe into this thing.”

“Don’t wanna. Gotta pee."

The prince flushed from head to toe. He knew he’d have to take her at some point but he didn’t want to face that fact. “Right…well, get your breathing exercises in first.” She moved her head around like a small child refusing to eat. Finally he grabbed her chin and put the device to her lips. She took it and glared at him, pouting. “Take as deep a breath as you can without hurting yourself and blow into this.”

The first breath was weak. He told her to do it again and she stuck her tongue out at him around the tube, if that was somehow possible. He stared at her incredulously until she actually _giggled_ and did as he asked. Part of him wanted to smile at her while the other part of him wanted to know what in Koh’s name he was doing. She was injured and hurt and he was her prince in shining armor helping her drink and spoon-feeding her broth, apparently. 

“M’chest hurts,” she groaned after the fifth breath. He let her stop there because she’d had plenty of breath pressure to reassure him that she wouldn’t get some kind of infection in her lungs. “Bathroom? Toothspaced.” He assumed she meant toothpaste. Her breath was pretty rank.

“Yeah.” He pulled over a wheelchair and was able to put her in it without hurting her too much. Then, he rolled her down the hall to his own private room. He didn’t want any of the men on third shift to be in the head and see her. She was too drugged out to realize where they were, instead reaching up for him and clinging to him as he set her onto the toilet. He then grabbed an extra toothbrush and his brick of toothpaste and put it in his pants pockets to keep for later, when she wanted them. “Can you, ah…”

Her cheeks burned a bright pink, her eyes glazed but somehow still intelligent. “Thanks mom, I’cn take it fr’here.”

“Call for me when you’re done.” He ran from the room as fast as he could and closed the door behind him, hitting his head on the cool metal twice before taking a deep breath. In his mind he kept thinking about how this was all his fault—he’d ignored his crew and his own gut instinct in his bid to capture the Avatar at all costs. It had almost cost this girl’s life. He’d been so infuriated when Iroh had told him she’d gone missing, thinking she’d wandered off and gotten hurt somewhere. Yet she’d actually been kidnapped.

Her breath of fire down the captain’s back had been the first he’d seen of her after he scrambled to find her with his crew on Iroh’s orders. The pirates had already backstabbed him and tried to take the Avatar _and_ the scroll, so they went and grabbed the easiest bounty on Zuko’s minimally-protected cutter. That fire blast had filled him with pride and fear. Fear for her having to use it to protect herself against a mob of pirates that vastly outnumbered her. Pride for the power and ferocity of her trying to stay alive. Most firebenders he knew could barely breathe smoke, let alone a jet so hot it almost looked white.

With broken ribs she’d also managed to severely burn a group of them as she scooted away on a stream of flame from her feet. He’d ordered Jee, his first mate, to take care of her while he destroyed every last bit of those pirates. He wasn’t sure if any of them were left alive, but those who were were severely injured with no way of leaving. He’d burned their ship to ash. 

A _thump_ drew his attention to the girl still in his private bathing room. “You done?”

She groaned and he threw open the door to find her on the floor by the sink. She was crying and he tried to make sure she hadn’t injured herself again. “Jus…wanted ta wash m’hands,” she cried, like it was the end of the world. "Can'do'anythin'!"

His heart pulled and he helped her off the ground to stand behind her and support her as she braced herself on the sink. Zuko put a hand on her hip and used the other to turn the water on and put soap into her shaking hands. "You're injured, stupid. Of course you need help."

“Medicine is…stupid,” she bit out as she slowly scrubbed. She rolled the words around in her mouth, trying not to slur. “Thank…you.”

The mirror over the sink let him look at her embarrassed eyes. Usually so light, her pupils were blown wide from whatever pain medicine Doc had given her. They weren’t sure if she’d had internal bleeding or a punctured lung, so they put her out in case they’d had to operate. Cracked ribs again, but nothing she hadn’t had before. That and her scab had been torn open. 

When he’d heard her call out his name, begging for his help, he’d seen red. Probably why he’d killed so many of those bastards who had betrayed him. Seeing the blood on the ground, he’d assumed the worst. He spilled twenty times the amount they'd made her lose.

“M’done,” she whispered, eyes down. “Thank you.” He handed her the toothpaste and toothbrush from his pocket then those eyes were on his in the mirror, wide and full of tears. “F’me? I…” Tears feel from her eyes, gratitude and drugs filling her slurred words.

Zuko awkwardly patted one of her shoulders as she tried to brush her teeth while crying. “It’s just toothpaste, Emiko.”

“’snot!” she insisted, spitting some of the toothpaste out. “I owe you s’much, can’t…” Her words trailed off as she tried to keep brushing the vomit from her mouth.

After a while he told her to spit and rinse. She babbled incoherently as he put her back in the wheelchair but he was able to get them back to the medical bay without a lot of fuss. She was starting to fall asleep again. “Hey, don’t fall asleep just yet. Gotta get some food in you.”

She nodded and stood up on her own from the wheelchair, his hands hovering around her. He cursed himself fawning over her like some mother hen-pig, but he didn’t want her to fall and hurt herself again. She got into bed by herself and he helped prop her up again.

“Mmm soup, my fave,” she said with such an open sarcasm that he caught a laugh in his throat. He pursed his lips to hide the smile and tried to feed her. Surprisingly, it didn’t get everywhere like he assumed. She complied and ate every drop he fed her. 

He tried to tell himself that he was doing this because her hands were shaking so hard, he’d have to change her bedclothes if he let her do it herself. In reality, his guilt wanted to ensure that she recovered fully.

When they were done, he started cleaning up. A glance at the candle on the wall told him that it was well past two in the morning. He wanted to get back to bed but knew that it would probably be a moot point. Her blood, that cry for help, kept replaying on the back of his eyelids.

A small hand grabbed his. He startled and stared at it in surprise. Emiko had rolled over to reach for him. “D’go.”

Zuko’s heart melted a little more. No one had showed him this kind of vulnerability before. Was it weakness? Or did this girl trust him? "I can't go anywhere," he said, motioning to the rumpled sheets of the medical bed next to hers. "I'm going to be right here."

Her bright eyes looked hesitant, but she allowed him to have his hand back and let him sit down on his bed. Her hand had been rough with callouses but still small and dainty and _warm_. “You...you stayed w’me?”

He scrambled for an excuse, staring at the ceiling of the medical bay. Someone needed to dust up there. He didn’t want to have this conversation. “You’re part of the crew, aren’t you?” _Idiot. You wouldn’t do this for anyone in the crew besides Uncle._

She was quiet for a while. He figured she fell asleep, but when he turned over to get comfortable, those blown pupils were staring into his soul. “Why are you even bothering w’me?" It was said like a whisper, like she forgot he was there.

The prince didn’t have an answer for that. Part of him wanted to deflect—she was Iroh’s pet project, after all—but now she was engrained into his daily life. They had practice every morning. He saw her every day at lunch with Iroh on the deck or in the mess hall. Iroh ran them through physical training exercises every evening. For dinner, when he took it with his Uncle, she was there, serving them both before eating herself.

“Go to sleep, Emiko.” He sighed and put one arm under his head to use as a pillow, facing the same way she was.

“Can’t.” That fear in her voice stabbed him in the gut. “They…wanted to sell me.”

Were things told while under the influence of drugs something he was supposed to take seriously, or remember? It felt like an invasion of her privacy. “You don’t have to—”

“I do though. I…I owe you m’life.”

She’d done just as much fighting to free herself as he’d done to clean up afterwards. “Don’t.” She did anyway, making him curse under his breath.

“The fur sages…pay good money f’me, I think.” Zuko had had very few interactions with the sages. Something happened when his mother had disappeared, his grandfather passing, and his father taking the throne. Those guys had definitely had something to do with the change of power. Besides that, he hadn’t spent much time with them. They were all about keeping the Fire Nation spiritual and connected to the fire in bender’s cores.

“Why?”

She shrugged and then winced as it pulled at her ribs. “’Dunno. They think ‘m spiritual. Can't go. Mum said not to.”

The fire in her eyes, the fight in her, was definitely something, but he didn’t think she was _spiritual_ or anything. Iroh was strong too, and claimed to talk to the spirits, but Zuko didn’t believe that either. It all sounded like religious hullabaloo. At the same time, it made sense, though. The bounties, the “wanted dead or alive” part. The fire sages were definitely a creepy and archaic institution. Who knew what those handmaidens were forced to do for those old men?

"Your mom?" He hadn't heard of her talk about her family. As far as he was concerned, she didn't have any. She shook her head and bit her lip, obviously done on that conversation. His curiosity got the better of him and he asked a different question. “You’re running from the fire temple, then?” Refusing the service of the fire temple was technically punishable by death, something he thought was an archaic and disgusting law. 

Shame filled her face. She nodded. “Are you gonna…kill me?”

He shot to a sitting position and stared incredulously at the girl. He gestured to the breathing device, the soup he’d just fed her. “I’m not doing all of this just to turn around and _kill you_.” What kind of person did this girl think he was?

She started crying again but hid her face with her hands. “Y-you’re the prince. ‘M just a peasant! ‘m so confused…”

Zuko cursed himself and got out of bed. He wasn’t talking to a completely coherent individual, after all. He sat on the edge of her bed and put one hand on her head. He didn’t know how to comfort people, but in this instance he’d literally scared this girl into thinking he was going to kill her for breaking a law of his country. She was technically right—it was his duty to make sure that his citizens were lawful. But did he really owe anything to the nation that banished him? “In this case…that law is stupid.”

Emiko hiccuped and stared up at him with those big eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he brushed a tear from her cheek. Her face leaned into his hand and her eyes fluttered closed. “You…are not w’I ‘pected.”

He didn’t want to know what she’d expected. “Emiko…you’re really drugged up right now. You don’t have to tell me anything you wouldn’t tell me when you’re sober.” He felt bad for asking what he had. Even if he deserved to know those things in order to protect him, his crew, and her.

“Always wanted to…didn’t ‘ave the courage.” Her breathing started to even out as he ran a hand over her hair. He sat with her for another thirty minutes, watching her long lashes come to rest on her rounded cheeks. Her chest rise and fall to the rhythm of sleep. Her little calloused hand clinging to his pants for dear life.

The candle on the far wall burst. _Three a.m...._ His heart pulled as his attention was brought back to the girl. _Koh, I'm fucked._


	7. Don't give me a reason to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko starts getting nasty looks from the crew for a reason she doesn't understand. Zuko endangers his crew's lives in search of the Avatar. Iroh finds a spark in Emiko he's never seen, and tells her about Zuko's past.
> 
> Warnings: mutual pining, minor sexual thoughts, drowning, death

**Emiko**

Zuko stayed by my side for a week after the pirate incident. Even when I could walk, he guided me with a hand on my back. He brought my meals to me even, although I refused to let him feed me once the medicine wore off. But he’d sit with me. Sometimes we would sit in companionable silence while he worked on his tracking of the avatar. Other times, he would bring me a firebending scroll and we would talk through training theory.

After that week I started working again (if you’d call being Iroh’s assistant “working.”) He almost refused to let me do anything, insisting on serving me himself. What kind of reverse world was this that the _brother to the Fire Lord_ was serving me food? And a crown prince waiting on me hand and foot for a whole week? I didn’t know what scroll I was reading, but it had some plot twists I didn’t see coming.

Two weeks after the incident, Iroh and I took lunch out on the deck, like we usually did. Sometimes Zuko joined us, but he was running a training session with his men. I hadn’t seen one of these yet. Apparently they did them once a month to ensure everyone’s fitness. Most of the men were very much in shape, ready to fight at any moment...or catch a fifteen-year-old kid.

Iroh placed a bowl of rice in front of me to compliment the _tori katsu_ Chef had prepared for the day. He hummed and busied around me, even laying a cloth over my lap. I flushed as I realized some of the men were looking directly at us as they stretched and prepared for their workout. 

“Iroh,” I said, “it doesn’t look good for you to be serving your own assistant.” The men were talking amongst themselves and nodding in our direction. No doubt complaining that I wasn’t holding my own or doing my job.

“Nonsense,” he said as he placed a cup of tea in front of both of our plates. “Now, watch closely on the formation drills Zuko has them run. If you’re ever with other firebenders, these techniques work very well.”

I huffed and picked at my food as I watched Zuko call command of the men. They ignored me, finally, and I felt more comfortable eating. Iroh pointed out specific moves that he wanted to emphasize some method for. It was amazing to watch a genius in motion. Firebending was beautiful the way he architected it, and it obvious that he’d taught Zuko each and every one of these moves. 

A thought hit me. “Iroh…why is Zuko ‘learning’ to teach me when he can obviously train these men?” It made no sense, he seemed to be doing just fine out there in the sunlight, his bare skin glistening. He filled those pants out extremely well, too, his thighs tight against the otherwise baggy material…

I was so busy staring that I almost missed what Iroh said. “He needs to learn to teach someone who is _not_ a soldier. Soldiers and civilians learn in incredibly different ways. They need rigidity and structure. You need patience and flexibility. He has never had someone to mentor, only people to lead. Both need to be perfected for him to become the ruler I know he can be.”

I watched Zuko’s moves closer, rather than how attractive his body was. Agni, I was a pervert sometimes. He didn’t deserve to be ogled, no matter how beautiful he was. I noticed details about his technique that were different than the way he taught me. The prince was harsh with his words and strict when something didn’t go well. The men never complained. Sometimes they shot a nasty look Zuko's way, but it really seemed like they trusted him. Like they'd been with him for years and would do anything for him. Even though he was so strict, he was much calmer with me. (That tone still came out a lot when I wasn’t getting the moves exactly quite right.) We weren’t practicing again for a few more weeks, but I looked forward to hearing that tone again.

The men weren’t the most elegant of firebenders, but they didn’t have to be. Their moves were more militant and synchronous than the freeform kind of firebending I was accustomed to using and seeing. It was still useful to know and learn—if I was every caught in a fight with other firebenders, these moves could take down large groups of people pretty easily. It was definitely a good workout, that was a _lot_ of fire they were throwing around.

I recognized a few faces in the bunch. Jee, Zuko’s right-hand-man was at the front helping lead the drills. As I scanned the other faces, I realized that Jee and the rest of the men were much older than Zuko. No one seemed to be below the age of 30. I also realized that I knew _none_ of them. I'd barely spoken to anyone outside of Zuko and Iroh. A few others I’d seen in passing, and some had even invited me to the cafeteria for dinner, but I passed on the offer every time. I was Iroh's assistant and the only thing he usually let me do was set the table for dinner.

I did know a few others, but they weren't firebenders. They had regular exercises and drills on the other side of the ship. Doc, the head doctor of the ship, was someone I'd talked to a few times when he gave me medicine or checked on my ribs. I’d met Chef, (another apt nickname,) and had spoken shortly with him a few times when grabbing meals for the prince and Iroh. I wasn’t even sure if the crew knew I was Iroh’s assistant or they thought I was just a leech. Not like I wasn’t a leech, but a leech who didn’t have a job on a ship that required every person to pull their own weight was definitely a leech.

Iroh and I finished our lunch long before the men were done practicing. I stood to grab the plates but he hit my hands with his fan and scolded me. “No, no, I’ve got this.”

I bit my cheek to keep from complaining about his damned kindness and turned my eyes back to Zuko’s training. They were taking a break and Zuko was walking _straight up to me oh Agni_. “Uncle! How do they look today?”

“Not bad, my prince. Although you may want to cut drills a little short. A storm is brewing.”

Everyone except Iroh looked up…at a beautiful day. "You're out of your mind, Uncle. The weather's perfect. There's not a cloud in the sky."

Maybe that was the feeling I’d woken up with in my belly. The thought of being on a ship in a storm made my stomach flip and threaten to lose the lunch I just had.

Zuko and his uncle argued about the avatar and the storm until Zuko’s eyes flickered to me. “Emiko. Tell him he’s crazy.”

My eyes flew between his and his uncle’s, both of them asking me to help their cause. No way I was getting in the middle of _that._ “I…I don’t know, sir. But I’ve been on a ship in a storm before and I don’t look forward to it, if that’s the case.”

He clenched his jaw and glared at me like I hadn’t seen since before the pirates abducted me. Nice little fantasy bubble burst finally, I assumed. They always did. "The avatar is heading northward, so we will do the same. End of story!”

“Very well, my prince.” It wasn’t my place to tell him what to do. Iroh didn’t seem to be the sort to worry unnecessarily, but at the same time the sky was a beautiful blue with small wisps of clouds. The ocean was dark with fluffy white tipped baby waves. It was probably one of the most beautiful days I’d seen in a while, actually.

“I’ve got to get back. Emiko, physical therapy and hand-to-hand at sundown. Cargo hold.” He walked away and I glared at his ass as it left, sticking my tongue out at him. That man’s body had to be illegal or something. Good thing his anger issues made him a little less attractive.

“Make sure he does not push you too hard, Emiko,” Iroh said with a frown. Usually he was there, but Zuko had promised to take care of me and Iroh gave him space to have full responsibility. “You need to be resting, stretching, and breathing, not so much sparring or bending just yet.”

I told him one thing, but my thoughts were incredulous. He believed I could get the prince to do anything he didn’t want to do, as if! If the prince wanted to teach me sparring tonight, he would. _Guess I’ll hear that tone a lot sooner than I expected._

* * *

**Emiko**

"Arm up!"

I felt a tick in my eye as I lifted my arm up higher than I normally would to block Zuko's kick. He managed to move me back a few inches just from his strength, pushing me against a stack of storage crates. I hadn’t fallen. I sighed a breath of relief because apparently, third time was the charm to not getting knocked on my ass. "There, I got it. Can I go rest now, as Iroh recommended?"

“No. Your stance is still weak.” Something especially stiff had crawled up the prince’s ass that day. He’d been petulant with his uncle that morning, with his men during the afternoon break, and was being very demanding of me in our training.

"I'm tired and injured,” I begged, wrapping an arm around my waist. The bruising was going down again but still a sickly yellow green as it healed. My body throbbed as exercising caused my heartrate to speed up. I couldn’t catch my top breath. “I thought we talked about postponing our training until a few more weeks had passed.”

Something in the way he held his body told me that he’d had a very hard week. I’d seen him a lot less this week. He still checked on me and ran through firebending theory with me in the morning, but he didn’t eat dinner with Iroh as much as he had. He’d been spending more time locked in the helm with the ship’s captain trying to trace the avatar or in his room. It’d been weeks since the pirate incident and he had to be frustrated with no progress being made.

“You need to be able to protect yourself!” he finally snapped, his fists clenched and his shoulders tense. The anger in his face wasn’t directed at me but it felt like it was.

“I know,” I whispered. He was right. I hadn’t been able to stop them from taking me. Even when I’d tried to get away, they would have gotten me again if Zuko hadn’t shown up. No matter what I did, somehow I kept being taken back to that man who wanted to either have me killed, married off, or shackled in a temple somewhere.

“Stop it!” I didn’t know when it happened, but he was in front of me. He grabbed my pigtail and pulled on it, forcing me to look up at him. “Stop being meek. Stand your ground against me.”

“You can’t get mad at me when I do, then!” I shouted back, trying to be strong like he asked. My heart raced a mile a minute and my eyes searched his face for his next move. Would he try to hit me? Stun me with kindness? I knew all the tricks and I was prepared for someone who was unhinged.

A frown formed on his too-close face. Those lips were sinful, capable of doling out insults one moment to whispering soft words while his strong hands ran over my hair the next. “ _Mad_? Emiko, you can’t live your life in fear of someone’s response to your words or actions!”

The part of me that warned me that this was a trap was overshadowed by my frustration and my fear. “People like you, people of _power_ , tell me to fight back all the time before they strike me down! How else am I to react but in defense?”

He stepped closer, intending to intimidate. I stood a little taller and widened my stance. His chest pressed against mine. Slowly he pushed me back into wall. His head leaned in, my body already trapped by his, and his breath tickled the baby hair by my ear as he said, “When you’re meek, your fire is _weak._ Your bending is _terrible.”_ My heart beat a mile a minute. I was surrounded by _him._ “Stand up to me, fight back! Have my permission if you need it. But grow a _fucking backbone_.”

Oh, he’d done a very bad thing there. I could very easily be intimidated, but my competitive spirit wouldn’t back down from a challenge if given the opportunity. “Cool. Here’s my backbone.” I turned around in his grasp, pulled my feet up, put my toes on the wall, and pushed back against his chest as hard as I could. Rather than roll away like I’d wanted, he wrapped his arms around my waist and took me down with him. He groaned as I landed on top of him; I wasn’t exactly the lightest of broads for how short I was.

Next thing I knew, he rolled over and trapped me between the floor and his body. He lifted himself off me with his forearms and I turned around to hold my hands between us as a buffer. His eyes were hard and so was everything else about him, it was stupid how stupid his body made me. Even his face was sculpted out of marble. “Do it. Stand up to me, right now.”

This guy was good at getting me to face problems head on. He was right, I just didn’t know how to stop the conditioned dread that coursed through my veins. My father had trained me well that fighting back resulted in a lot of pain. Still, my mouth always got me in trouble. The words came out like vomit and I couldn’t stop as soon as I started. “I can barely breathe because my ribs are broken, and you’re being a pretty big dick about this training thing right now. And while I’m very thankful for your and Iroh’s help, you’re smothering me both _literally_ ”—I pointed between us at our situation—“and _figuratively_! Which I can’t even begin to comprehend because holy Koh, Iroh is a saint and deserves the world on a silver platter and I don’t deserve his kindness. You’ve saved my life multiple times and I can’t ever in a thousand lifetimes pay you back, plus the training? Oh, and now _oh firebending master_ , now you want me to tell it to you straight? Like you don’t have your royal blood, my entire living situation, and everything _else_ about you hanging _above_ _me_ ”—I gestured to our current position again to prove my point—“like a boulder ready to crush me? Would you have a backbone in that situation my _prince_?”

Oh Agni. His face was scarily devoid of emotion. Maybe there was some surprise there, but after my rant I stood my ground (well, I laid there) like he asked by squaring my shoulders and staring him straight in the eye even though I wanted to cower in preparation for the blow to come from speaking up. “Bend,” was all he said.

I was breathing heavy as I unclenched a fist, slightly shaking, and brought fire to life in my hands. It flickered at first before solidifying into a strong flame.

“Do that every time.” With that, he stood up in a smooth motion, leaving me missing his warmth. Something was disappointed in me. What had I expected out of that, anyway?

He didn’t tell me to release the fire, so I held it there. I used my other arm to push me up since my core muscles weren’t exactly up to the job. The fire got stronger and I manipulated it around my arm to keep it from losing fuel and momentum. “That’s it?”

His jaw clenched and my fire fizzled as I reacted to it. I knew he saw the lapse so I took a deep breath and reinforced my nerves. “‘ _This’_ ”—he gestured between us, the word very heavily dripping with sarcasm after the gestures I’d made—“won’t work if you think I have your life hanging above your head at any moment. Unless you do something truly heinous, you have my word that you won’t be removed from the ship. Your contract is through the end of next year and you can continue to live and work onboard as long as Iroh has need of your services.”

I swallowed what felt like a wad of cotton in my mouth that got stuck halfway down. I couldn’t say anything, opting to nod instead. He held out a hand and I took it with my free one. The other hand was still holding fire; after the first day I knew to hold it until he told me to. Stamina training, apparently. 

When he pulled me up, he moved my firebending hand between us. Both of his hands cupped mine from underneath, the flame growing stronger. I felt myself blushing. “Look at me.”

I did. I wasn’t scared of him this time, though. This time I was scared of the _feelings_ I was catching for this man and the way he looked at me. “Looking,” I said, my voice embarrassingly breathy. His eyes were vulnerable and bright. His lips looked soft and inviting. _Fuck._

“I don’t know if I’d have a backbone in your situation.” He didn’t mention the fact I hadn’t told him all of my situation, which I was thankful for. “But right here, right now, I need you to trust me. I _am_ your firebending master. I can’t teach you if you’re scared of me, and teaching you is pointless if you cower in front of your future opponents. You have to stand your ground, always.”

“Promise you won’t send me to the brig?” I asked cheekily, trying to stand my ground. Trying to act like he wasn’t some prince and I wasn’t some nobleman’s daughter that under normal circumstances would never have met the other.

Zuko’s lips pulled up and for the first time, I saw the prince smile. It wasn’t much but it filled me with a warmth that also made me smile. “Don’t give me a reason to, then.”

I laughed. He cupped my hand, extinguishing the fire as his eyes flickered to my smile and back up. His cheeks pinked a little before he cleared his throat and stepped back. My cheeks hurt from grinning as I walked a few feet behind him, trying to gather my thoughts. My heart was beating a mile a minute, but not from fear…from _anticipation_.

A crewman ran into the hold. My thoughts of Zuko dimmed as the man whispered to the prince in a hushed voice. I didn’t recognize him, but the look he shot me over the prince’s shoulder was most definitely a glare. Zuko’s shoulders tensed and he glanced at me before saying, “There’s no way. The sky was clear literally an hour ago.”

“What’s up?” I asked, eyebrow raised.

The crewman with the glare turned to me and said, “Storm’s coming. Every man to his station.”

Okay, now I _knew_ I wasn’t imagining the looks and the whispers. He’d just thrown a big ol’ slap in my face of _you-don’t-really-do-anything-on-this-ship-you-freeloader._ “How can I help? I’m good at knots, I can tie lifelines if it’s going to get bad.”

Zuko took a deep breath and straightened his spine. Gone was the smile; gone was the relaxed Zuko I’d seen a glimmer of a minute ago. Now was the Zuko who commanded a ship, the one who had to lead a nation one day. “Just…stay out of the way for now.”

I pursed my lips in frustration. Was he an awkward young man who didn’t know how to show appreciation or affection, or was he a harsh ruler with a lash for a tongue? The answer was probably both but the juxtaposition was exhausting. “Yes, sir,” I said maybe just a _little_ sarcastically. He’d legitimately released a monster, I hoped I could control it. “I’ll just…find Iroh. Every man to his station, and all that.”

His glare only made me bite my lips to hide a smile. Technically, that wasn’t insubordination; I was only doing my job. “…Right. Suho, with me. Emiko…don’t do something stupid.”

I wanted to stick my tongue out at him but it didn’t seem like the right time. Maybe if we were alone. Definitely not with one of his crewmen there watching our exchange with gossip in his eyes. The last thing I needed was some kind of rumor going around about my relationship with the prince.

I didn’t know when to keep my mouth shut once the floodgates were open, though. So just to have the last word, I parroted, “Don’t give me a reason to, then,” and left with a smile on my face.

* * *

**Zuko**

That woman was going to be the end of him, Zuko decided. After that practice he was…frustrated, to say the least He’d almost grabbed the back of her head and kissed those chapped lips, almost rubbed his cock against her when she turned in his grasp. She’d looked at him like a woman hadn’t looked at him in a while. The effect was _maddening_. He punched a wall while they walked down the hall and let smoke come out of his nose. Not even that relieved his frustration.

If this kept up, he’d have to take care of problems in a town. He absolutely despised the idea, but he couldn’t go around daydreaming of nailing his pupil every time he saw those hips. Or that smile. Or… _fuck._ Watching her get stronger, standing up to him, _bantering_ even, was beautiful to behold. Her inner fire was one of the strongest he’d seen. It was abhorrent that someone had crushed that fire so low.

When they moved closer to the main deck, Zuko could hear the sound of the wind howling. The ship was most definitely swaying. _Fuck._ While that girl distracted him, he’d let his ship go straight into a howling wind. He hadn’t listened to his uncle… _again_. Even though this time, it really had been a gorgeous day that in no way should have turned into a deadly trap.

He and his navigator Suho climbed the main stairs and into rain so strong that it stung Zuko’s eyes. They grabbed their lifelines from the central command post and tied themselves down to keep from washing away in what appeared to be twenty-foot waves. If the avatar was in this, he was just as fucked as Zuko was.

Men ran in every direction. Zuko shouted commands and directed the men who weren’t below deck making sure everything was secured and nothing was flooding. The rest of the men were in the navigation room, where Suho was heading, trying to keep them on a direction that Zuko stubbornly set days ago. To get the avatar. Something that even if he did get, he wasn’t sure his father would think good enough to come back into the family’s good graces. 

_Agni._ He wished he could get caught up in being irresponsible. Do something spontaneous, like a summer fling with a girl from a village. But he was a prince and he would never be free. He had duties, something to aspire to. Even a moment of weakness was just that…weakness.

Emiko’s drug-induced words flashed in his thoughts. _Just wanna be free…pah. I can relate._

* * *

**Emiko**

I was soaked the moment I stepped on deck. Self-preservation screamed at me to use some common sense and hide in a safe dry place in the hold. The rest of me stubbornly wanted to prove people wrong. _I can be of use. I can help!_ And I was trying to be stronger, Zuko was right about me. I was weak when I cowered. I needed to stand up for myself and fight back. Zhao, the Fire Nation…they couldn’t beat me down. Giving up let them win.

Iroh was with the helmsman in the command center, high above deck, steering a giant bucket of iron through the worst storm I’d ever seen. Five men were frantically calling out statistics and statuses of various ship functions. Water pelted the front windows so hard that I couldn’t see anything through the torrent. The sound the water made was deafening.

I rushed to Iroh and told him that the prince had been alerted. He looked relieved. “Did he say whether or not to change course?” The look on my face must have told him before I could open my mouth to say anything. “Right. Well then. Soldier on, crew!”

The room groaned with the voices of the men inside, and the scream of the wind outside. Iroh looked disappointed. “Is there any way for me to help, sir?” I had to yell to even be heard over the torrent of water.

The man genuinely thought about it, I gave him credit for that. He could have just brushed me off. “Stay here for now in case I need you to run a message belowdecks.”

I nodded and stood by his side as the storm raged on around us. I had to grab a banister to keep from falling multiple times. It didn’t seem possible to keep a ship like this afloat in this kind of weather. 

Multiple men came to Iroh, pleading to turn the ship a different way. He shook his head. Zuko was the leader of this vessel, and not even Iroh was going to try and change that. He could, but he wouldn’t. (Or at least that’s what I heard men yelling as they walked away, quite incensed.)

“Iroh,” I yelled over the noise, “why won’t you overrule him? This is so dangerous! We could lose men!” I wasn’t sure if I’d have the courage to ask something like that if Zuko hadn’t almost made me melt into the floor earlier with his words. 

“Later,” he promised. His smiling face was comforting, but only for a moment. In the next moment, light and my life flashed before my eyes. A loud _BOOM_ cracked before I felt rain on my body and a force pushing me away. Somehow, I was tumbling head over heels into the raging ocean.

* * *

**Iroh**

One moment, Iroh was looking at a worried, beautiful girl. The next, open air. He held his breath as soon as he saw the flash of light that destroyed the command center. Lightening had struck, blasting through the windows and throwing everyone inside into the water. None of them had lifelines; why would they need lifelines? They’d been inside!

Hitting the water could have knocked him out cold, so he balled himself up to keep as little of him from hitting as possible. It still hurt like Koh. When he opened his eyes, he couldn’t see anything in the pitch black. His eyes stung from the salt water. He let himself float for a moment to figure out which way was up and then he kicked as hard as he could, sending out a blast of steam beneath him so that he could crest the next wave.

Lightening was the only source of light when it struck. He could barely see the waves in front of him, let alone other crewmembers or _Emiko_. Agni, could that girl even swim? He tried to yell for her but water flooded his mouth. 

Rather than panic, Iroh calmed his thoughts for a moment. He let the ocean tell him where to go. The ocean spirit would not take lives unnecessarily, but it would if he didn’t let himself understand the situation. He took as deep a top breath as he could at the crest of the next wave and bent fire behind him to push him closer to the ship. It was exhausting, but it would keep him alive.

A body floated in front of him. It was the helmsman, dead from impact with the water or with something from the explosion. Iroh wanted to grab him, give him a proper burial at sea, but saved the room for someone who was living. He couldn’t help the dead now. Another body was further up. He reached for a slim hand and lightning struck, showing him the pale face of Emiko, eyes close, floating face-up.

He reached closer, desperate to save the poor girl, but she started sinking before he could pull her close. He panicked, diving under the water and using his heat sense to find her. Her heat source pulled him in her direction even when the currents didn’t. She was getting hotter every moment she was underwater, her inner fire trying to burn more fiercely to save her life.

Then, the underwater wasn’t dark anymore. Light shone from every pore on Emiko’s skin. Iroh, shocked, surfaced to get more oxygen and to look around him. The ocean was bright in a wide sphere around where Emiko’s body was, generating enough light for the ship to see them and shoot flares their way. Iroh gasped for breath and dove again, unsure of what spirit was doing this kind of work. Whatever it was, Iroh was worried about Emiko. 

Her hand was scalding hot to the touch. Instead, Iroh grabbed her by the back of her tunic and kicked up as hard as he could. When they breached the surface, he held her as high as he could without drowning himself. Her eyes were open wide, light shining through them and obscuring her iris and pupils and the whites of her eyes. He wasn’t even sure if she was breathing.

She was so warm that the water around her was steaming, something he’d never seen from even the strongest firebender. Even the water that should have been falling on them was evaporated before it could touch them. Even though he was burning with the need to know more and understand, he held his inquiries until a later time. They were still in treacherous waters, literally, and he had to get them to safety.

None of this would have happened if he’d listened to her pleas. She had been right; he had to direct the prince away from these decisions, even when the prince should be making those decisions himself. Men died today because Iroh was trying to teach his nephew a lesson. _A very, very hard lesson_.

As they got closer to the ship, Emiko’s light dimmed. Iroh wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. If she was breathing, it was very faint. A lifeline was thrown to them, Emiko’s light just bright enough for the crew to see them. Two others were nearby as well, being lifted to safety. Iroh held the burning girl tighter in his arms. _We have much to talk about later, child._

* * *

**Emiko**

Fire surrounded me, licking at my feet and my hands, but it didn't burn. I felt frantic, panicked, but I wasn't sure why. I couldn't see anything outside the fiery inferno I was trapped in. There was no sound, even though the flickering fire should have snapped and sizzled. No smell, even though the smoke should have burned.

"Hello?" I shouted into the void, my heart's pounding filling my ears.

" _It's that freak, Amaterasu."_

" _Why is she even here?"_

" _And she spawned...another little_ demon _running about."_

I turned toward the voices, but there was no one there. Every time a voice spoke, I kept turning, kept trying to find where they were coming from, but there was nothing, no one. No smoke, no light, just darkness extending for as far as I could see.

" _Demon-child."_

" _Don't listen to them, Sunshine,_ " mother's smooth, deep voice said soothingly, making my heart jump into my throat. " _They are ignorant. People who are ignorant are afraid of everything, even their own shadows.”_

"Mom!" I cried out, trying to get away from the flames. They only intensified and climbed higher around me. Tears started rolling down my face as I ran, trying to find her, trying to see her face just one more time. The flames followed, making a trail.

" _Don't let their words consume you. You are made for something so much more. I love you, Emiko."_

" _Freak!"_

" _Monster!"_

" _Demon-child!"_

"Shut _up_!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. I clenched my eyes and fell to my knees, trying to block them out. Mom's voice was gone, consumed by their voices, which then consumed _me_.

The fire dispersed. A beautiful field lay out before me, behind a window of imperfect glass. A small blanket was sitting under a beautiful cherry tree, filled with food and drinks and love. A woman was sitting on it, her long, silky hair fluttering in the wind. Her face wasn't toward me, so I couldn't see her sweet smile or her crinkling eyes.

I put my hand on the window. " _Mom..._ "

Behind me, an iron hand laid itself on my shoulder. "Emiko, Sunshine, time to do your sets." Turning, what I saw confirmed the identity of the voice I'd heard—my father, Commander Zhao, but younger. He was smiling, which was something I hadn't seen in a long time. It reminded me of happier times. Of when my family was _whole._ "We'll start with set two today."

I turned back around, looking out the window again to see the field of beauty that lay just beyond the house I was trapped in. My heart longed to join the woman on the hill, the woman I missed so much that my heart ached. As I was watching, she stood up and started walking over the hill. She disappeared behind the tree.

"Mom!" I shouted as a hand grasped my arm. I turned to bat it off, but his face had suddenly turned into a monster that I didn’t recognize. “Let me go! _Mom!_ ”

I sat up with a gasp before turning over to vomit. Water flew from my mouth and onto the ship’s deck. Warm hands rubbed my back. My ribs ached as I cried, soaking wet, on what was apparently the ship’s deck. I didn’t know how I’d gone from drowning to crying like a child, but I was thankful to the hands that soothed me.

“Get the ship to safety,” Zuko’s familiar voice said somewhere near me. “We can’t afford to lose anyone else.”

Iroh, just as soaking wet as I was, ushered me up from the floor. “Come, child, let’s get out of this weather.” 

My body felt like lead. My lungs were sore from breathing in salt water, I assumed. My throat was hoarse for the same reason. Getting out of the rain made me feel a lot better, but my body was so tired that I could barely walk down the hallway. Iroh pulled me into his room, giving me a change of clothes and the full use of the bathroom for privacy. 

It took what felt like hours to get out of my wet clothes. The bandage around my waist was ruined but I didn’t want to replace it. Too much work. Iroh knocked at the door after a while, asking if I was okay.

I didn’t know if I was okay. The dreams I’d had when I was drowning had shaken me almost more than drowning. I hadn’t had dreams of my mother since she’d passed almost ten years ago. Her picture was the only thing I had left of her anymore. 

“I’m okay, Iroh,” I said with a heavy tongue. “I _think_.”

The bathroom door opened and Iroh ushered me to a freshly-made bed. Tea was brewing in a pot on a side table. Iroh’s room was small but comfortable, with rich fabrics and expensive decorations. I noticed a few pictures around the room—a younger Iroh, a beautiful woman, and a small child. A handsome young man. The beautiful woman, aged older.

“If you don’t mind me asking…who are they?”

He glanced at the image and smiled sadly. “My beautiful wife, Hana, and my son, Lu Ten.”

I tried to hide the surprise from my face. I knew he’d had a son, but it was strange to actually see a picture of his family. “Oh.” His son had died in the siege of Ba Sing Se, as Fire Nation classes had taught me growing up. “Your wife…tell me about her.” Anything to not talk about not drowning.

Iroh’s face softened into something I hadn’t seen before. He poured a cup of tea, the storm raging on outside, and I wrapped myself in a blanket. The tea warmed me inside. I didn’t realize it, but I’d been shivering the entire time. My body was more tired than it had ever been. “She was a very spiritual woman. I see a similar energy in you that drew me to her. She was a spark of light that dimmed much too soon.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I knew what it felt like to lose someone so close to you. I’d never lost a spouse or a child, though. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“I would not keep their pictures around if I did not want to remember the life I had with them,” he said simply. He started sipping his tea as well, exhaustion in the slope of his shoulders. “You have a photo as well. May I ask?”

The one sitting next to my bed. The only personal possession I owned besides the staff I’d bought. The only thing left in the world to remind anyone of my mother. “My…my mother. She tried to protect me until the end. I had to grow up really fast after that. I miss her.”

“They never really leave us.” He patted my shoulder and sat back in his chair. Obviously exhausted. “That could have been very bad, Emiko. I am glad that you are okay.”

My body shook and tears started forming in my eyes. Delayed shock? That was new. “W-we _are_ okay. Did the crew save us? What happened?” 

The old man looked at me, the softness on his face still there. It unnerved me slightly. The warmth of the tea and blanket were making me sleepy. “You saved us, actually.”

“I… _what_?” Exhaustion forgotten, my buzzing limbs wanted me to stand and pace the room. I didn’t because my legs felt like jello. “How did _I_ save us?” I’d passed out as soon as I hit the water…or I _thought_ that was what had happened.

Iroh stared at me longer, his lips pursing as he thought over his answer. The longer he waited the longer I felt like something had gone very, very wrong. There was no way I’d been able to swim, let alone drag Iroh with me in that storm. “Emiko…did your parents ever tell you about the spirits?”

The change in topic gave me whiplash. “I mean…my dad wanted to sell me to the fire sages because of my ‘spirituality.’” I finger-quoted that word. It’d haunted me every day. “My mother told me to never fuck with the spirits—her words, not mine—but other than that…not really.” 

A sigh left his lips. “A disservice to you, then. I think you may be blessed with the piece of a spirt inside of you.” The incredulousness must have shown on my face because he started gesturing with his hands in front of him to make his point. “Emiko, when you should have drowned, you _glowed_ with light. Your body was scalding to the touch. You evaporated water around you. I have never seen that from _any_ bender..”

My brow was permanently creased. “You mean like…like the Avatar? No way!” I could barely hold a flame for five minutes and this guy thought I was some powerful spirit?

“Maybe not like the Avatar. I admit I’ve never seen this before. Were you perhaps sick as a child?”

I shook my head. “No, no. I’ve actually never been sick. Just broken bones and bruises and scars. My mom always said I was the healthiest of all of us.” He gave me a look like it meant something. “That doesn’t prove anything. What, I was _glowing_? I…I’ve never done that before. I think.” I tried to think back, to when I was a child. There was a moment, a flicker of _maybe-he-could-be-right_ , but I shook my head. “No, whatever happened out there Iroh, I…no, I don’t know.”

“Let us keep an eye on it,” he said simply. The news obviously overwhelmed me and he seemed to sense that. “We will get out of this storm and to safety, and worry about things out of our control when we can.”

“Thank Agni he changed course.” I held a shaking hand to my chest. “How…how bad was it?”

“We need to pull over for a few weeks, if I had to guess. We lost a few men.”

 _It could have been me._ Agni, was that the worst thing ever to think about? Men had lost their lives and I was just happy I was alive. Tears fell down my face as I shook and clenched my fists. My anger towards Zuko was burning bright in me, burning through the fear and the shock of almost drowning. “Why did he do this, Iroh? Why did you _let him_?”

The man stroked his beard and looked off towards the far wall. There, I saw Iroh and Zuko from years ago, before Zuko had his scar. They took a picture together, Iroh in full military gear, and Zuko looked shy and awkward. “Because once, Zuko made a decision. It ended badly. He did not want to make a similar decision that ended poorly. So I made him make all of them. Good or bad, he had to grow the confidence to lead and know that he was making the right choice.”

 _His scar_? I stared at young Zuko in the picture, his eyes full of hope and love for his uncle. “What…what happened?”

Iroh told me a terrible story about a bright young man. A young man who believed the best in the Fire Nation, and their cause. When innocents were going to be sent on a suicide mission, the young prince spoke up against using bright young Fire Nation soldiers as cannon fodder. The generals of the meeting were insulted, calling for justice. That justice was an Agni Kai.

Agni Kai were supposed to be duels of honor to appease the sun spirit, Agni. They’d turned from shows of grace and strength into ways to permanently humiliate enemies and those not ready to understand the true force of fire.

When Zuko showed up for the fight, he had been prepared. He had trained his entire life in the arts of firebending. His opponent, however, turned out to be his father rather than one of the generals.

“Stop,” I whispered, tears breaking my lash line. I grasped my wet hair in my hands and pulled my face down to keep Iroh from seeing. “Don’t finish. I know what happens.”

Zuko’s father was no better than mine. His own father had punished a beautiful boy for trying to do the right thing. No _wonder_ the man was the way he was. No wonder there was no trust and only anger.

“That is why I let him make his own decisions,” Iroh said simply.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence that came after that admission. Zuko’s voice rung out in the hallway. “Uncle, are you alright? And Emiko?”

“Just shaken. Come in, Nephew.”

Zuko rushed in. Iroh stood up to greet him, but Zuko wrapped his arms around the older man and hugged him like his life depended on it before the old man could do anything. “Uncle, I’m so sorry.”

I felt like I was intruding on a special moment. I lowered my gaze and focused on my reflection in my tea. I looked tired. Felt it, too.

“No apologies needed, my son,” Iroh said as he soothed the broken man in his arms. He hugged Zuko back just as forcefully. “As long as we corrected our course, we are on the way to reparations.”

Zuko pulled back, his hands on his uncle’s shoulders, and said, “We are. I swear.” The prince’s eyes shot to me and I looked down into my tea again to hide my emotions. I was still pretty shaken and didn’t need him to make it worse. “Emiko…” He was kneeling in front of me then, hands on either side of my legs that were dangling from the edge of the bed. “I apologize for putting you in danger.”

My lower lip tremored. Very few people in my life had ever apologized to me when they’d done something to hurt me. He hadn’t intentionally meant to put my life in danger, but he’d done it just the same. Even though I learned more about him and _why_ he may have done it, it still didn’t dismiss the fact that it had happened. 

He grasped my hand not holding the tea and held it in his rough ones. His eyes were pleading with me. “I promise to never intentionally put you in danger again. Or you, Iroh.” He turned back to look at his uncle and I used that time to blink in surprise. Iroh’s eyes looked just as surprised at me before turning into something soft and warm with a smile.

Zuko’s eyes looked back at me like a puppy begging for attention. I melted, his hand warm in mine. “I accept your apology, my prince.”

He brought my hand up to his lips and left a kiss on my knuckles before holding it against his forehead. “Thank you, Emiko.”

The place where his lips had been tingled pleasantly until I fell asleep in Iroh’s room, exhausted.


	8. There is power in restraint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko is plagued by dreams, keeping her up late at night. Zuko is up for...other reasons.
> 
> Warnings: sexual content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, such great reception to this rewrite! I'm glad you all are enjoying it. Here's a little gift from me to get you through the week. 
> 
> A reminder that Zuko in this story is around five years older than the one we see in the show. He's a little more level-headed, but still has that temper we all know. 
> 
> \- LCB

**Emiko**

"There is power in restraint," Amaterasu said as she stared into the small fire in the palm of her hand. It danced and shimmered in the light wind at our usual meeting place—underneath the cherry tree on the hill behind our estate. Her fire was always full of colors and images, beautiful and dangerous and so very pure. She called it "true firebending," something that I would learn in time.

I nodded and copied her but I couldn't keep it going like she did. I didn't want to let it get out of control but I didn't want to let it go out either. It flickered in a different way, uncontrolled and volatile.

She put her hand under mine and said, "Calm, Sunshine. Fire senses your nervousness and enhances its more dangerous properties. Deep breaths."

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, trying to steady myself. I shouldn't be nervous—mother had been teaching me this for years now. I was six, I should have something as simple as _breathing_ down. "Why can’t I get it?”

"You're young, love," she said simply, placing her free hand on my hair. Her fingers gently ran through the long, dark strands. "It takes years to even master breathing."

She always did that. She knew the answer to everything and always made me feel better. I opened my eyes and smiled up to her, noticing that my flame had leveled itself out. "It worked!"

Her eyes crinkled in that calming way. "Of course it did. You're very talented. Much better than I was at your age."

I didn't believe that, but I didn't say it. Instead I stared at the fire in my hand and was surprised when I could hold it even after my mother took her hand out from under mine. For just a moment, it flickered with colors like my mother's. It surprised me enough that I lost the flame. Guilt filled my stomach. "Sorry..."

"There's nothing to apologize for!" she said with a laugh. She picked me up from behind and hugged me tightly to her chest, exaggeratedly swinging me back and forth. "Silly girl!"

I laughed and let my voice flow with her shaking. "Ah-ah-ah-put me down, mommy!" We collapsed in a fit of giggles on our picnic blanket, rolling to stare up at the blue sky of clouds.

**Emiko**

My eyes opened but, instead of seeing a blue sky of clouds, I only saw the steel ceiling of a Fire Nation warship. I pulled a hand up to my face and noticed that it was wet with tears. After wiping them away with the heels of my hands I let an arm drape over my face. And just breathed. _It was just a dream._

I'd been having them night after night since I'd almost drowned. While I had a few nightmares about the experience, I was dreaming much more than normal. Some of them were nice dreams, like the one I'd just had. It made my heart ache, but it wasn't as scary as the ones where I was surrounded in flames and shouted at by invisible people. Or while I screamed into a void as a red and blue dragon circled my mother's dead body.

Those thoughts definitely had to go. I stood up, still a little slow but healing every day, and pulled on a night wrap I’d laid on the nightstand next to my bed. Then I made my way towards the door, opening it slightly to peek out. I could tell it was night out, maybe two or three in the morning, and only the last shift men were working. Well, and those that could work on finishing fixing the engines and the helmsman's post were there too, but those poor guys had been awake for hours.

So that was when I decided to go down to the hull, to explore. I didn't feel safe enough to leave (in case Zhao’s men were roaming the ports and recognized me) so I had to find some way to keep myself occupied. We’d been docked for a few days now to fix the intensive storm damage and the men were exhausted.

I walked down dark, rickety steps that I figured needed to be fixed, too. The smell of heat, ash, and coal caught my attention. I walked cautiously but full of curiosity.

I found a few of the men working but I didn't know any of them by name yet. I cornered one, an incredibly tall man with a strong build but a baby face, and asked him his name. “You can call me Gizmo. You shouldn’t be down here, Miss Emiko.”

"Hey, Gizmo," I said, surveying the engine room. I said nothing about what I ‘should’ be doing. Unsurprisingly, he knew my name. "How long have you been up?"

"Not too long," he sighed, wiping the sweat from his face. I could tell that he was lying, though, just from the exhausted set of his shoulders and the large black bags under his eyes. He had a set of tools around his hips, clean, while the rest of him was covered in soot and dust. 

I scoffed at him. “And I’m a waterbender. Anything I can get you all?”

He shared a look with a few of the other men in the room. While I was nervous, I was _pretty_ sure none of them would try anything. The looks they were giving me could have said otherwise. Fuck, what had I been thinking? I was walking around in a silk nightwrap asking men I didn’t know if they wanted anything!

“N-no, ma’am,” Gizmo said with downturned eyes. His face was flushed under the coal dust.

I was on a roll with this confidence thing, so I pushed on. “Oh, okay. So what's wrong with the engine, then?" The coal- and accompanying engine room was small, but a lot of electrical damage showed on the steel walls from where lightening had struck the ship. Parts were scattered left and right, new pieces shinier than the dull ones that had been replaced. Still a lot of work to be done, it seemed.

"You wouldn't understand," the big man said. Once he said it, his eyes widened and he looked like I was going to smite him for his insolence. “I-I mean…”

I internally rolled my eyes, but on the outside I looked at him and said, "Try me."

He sighed and rubbed the back of his head, looking around. "Where to start?" he asked, motioning to all of the problem areas where men were working in pairs of twos and threes. Some were shoveling coal, others working on the coal burning units, others standing around and moaning about all the work needed to be done. "Something is wrong with the intake/exhaust port flow, and I can't get the valves to operate correctly."

I leaned down beneath the machine as he had been doing, to inspect what he thought was wrong, as he cautioned me to be careful. "Explain to me about the valves," I called out to him, noticing many long pipes with egg-shaped solid objects trying to spin on them. I wished that I had paid more attention on rounds with my father in ship’s engines.

He sighed but it was a victory for me. "It’s your basic four-stroke engine. The valves are operated by a camshaft rotating at half the speed of the crankshaft. It has a series of cams along its length,— _e_ _ggs,_ I thought as I stared up at the egg-shaped cams—"each designed to open a valve during the appropriate part of an intake or exhaust stroke." _The little round parts below the thing that's smaller than my finger?_ "A tappet between valve and cam is a contact surface on which the cam slides to open the valve.”

I noticed something that looked off. "The camshaft is going faster than the crankshaft, looks like. What’s the fix to that?”

"…Uh, yeah. Actually, it is. How did you—?"

"Good guess," I said dryly, watching the valve closely. It wasn't closing completely. "Is there something stuck in the valve, or is it not closing? I’d love to learn how it all works if it’s not too much of a burden." When he didn’t answer I called Gizmo’s name but he was still silent. So I pulled my head out from underneath the engine. I realized that I was looking at shoes too expensive-looking to be Gizmo's. Then I looked up to see the very angry face of Prince Zuko. "Uh…" _I'm in trouble._

"What in Agni's name do you think you're _doing_?" he shouted, making many of the men around us stop to listen. If the room hadn't been filled with noise-making engines, I could have heard a pin drop.

"I was just—"

He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet, making me yelp in surprise. I was dizzy from the sudden shift. "You were 'just' _nothing_! If I haven't told you before, then I'm telling you now— _stay out of crucial areas of the ship_. I don't need you getting hurt again. Need I remind you what just happened?"

"But I—"

"No, I don't want to hear another word! This is my ship, now get back to your quarters!"

I gritted my teeth. "Zuko, if you'd just—" Oh-hoh, he was going to interrupt me again. I put my hand up to his mouth and squeezed his cheeks together with my thumb and fingers, keeping him from moving his lips. " _Stop_ _talking_."

His entire face went red. Oh, and look, the vein on his neck was popping out!

I slowly took my hand away from his mouth and waited, just to make sure that he wasn't going to say anything again. He had asked for me to stand up to him and I was doing it. Maybe he didn’t want me doing it in front of his men, but here we were. “I am just trying to learn more about the ship so that I can be of use to you, my prince. If I am getting in the way, I will remove myself. But you can speak to me with _civility_ when you do.”

Something else had crawled into his ass the last few days. Not being able to find the avatar now that the ship had been stopped for so long was probably the reason, but he didn’t get to take that frustration out on me.

Brushing past him, I made my way up the stairs, trying to hold my head high. He gave some commands to his men and then I heard his heavy footsteps behind me. I kept walking even when he called my name and told me to stop.

His hand grasped my wrist and pulled me back more forcefully than I’d expected. He trapped me against the hallway wall, his body surrounding me in every sense. “I said _stop_.” I hadn’t noticed before, but Zuko was in a night tunic and loose pants that hid nothing from my imagination. He smelled like fresh soap, like he'd gotten out of a shower. _Don't think of him in the shower, dammit!_

“And I said that you can speak to me with _civility_.” I squared my shoulders like he’d told me to. I tried to stand my ground. The look in his eyes made me not want to do that. In fact, it made me want to cower...or tear his clothes off. One of the two.

Only one word escaped from his lips, _“Fuck,”_ before they came crashing down onto mine. I was shocked only for a moment before I melted into the taste of fire and peppermint, his smell enveloping me the same way his body did.

His lips were just as soft as I’d imagined, but firm and pliant as they opened mine to deepen the kiss. My knees shook, his hand releasing my arm to tangle in my hair. My hands shook as I tried to explore the planes of his chest. _Agni_ , I’d wanted to touch him like this for _so long._

Zuko’s free hand landed on my lower back, pulling our bodies together. My stomach knotted in pleasure when I felt how much this kiss was affecting him. Spirits, it was affecting _me_. I’d kissed a boy or two in my time, but something about the way he devoured me was making me hot.

My hands dug up under his night shirt to play with the muscles around the band of his pants. The v that went lower. He groaned into my lips, a sound that was _intoxicating_ , and moved his lips down my jaw and neck as I gasped for breath. My own moan came out sounding needy and desperate. He bit and nipped at my neck, sending shockwaves down into my core. He used his hand on my lower back to push me into him harder before trailing the hand down my thigh and lifting it onto his hip. It opened me up to feel him in full and I gasped. The hand on the back of my neck tangled in my hair and pulled my neck more open to him, making me whine as he bit down one a particularly sensitive spot.

Before I was ready for it, he pulled away, leaving me bereft. “ _Fuck_ ,” he cursed, running a hand down his face. “I’m sorry, Emiko, I shouldn’t have done that.”

My chest heaved as I breathed heavily. One of my hands fluttered to my chest, feeling my heart beat a thousand miles a minute. I still tasted him on my tongue and my face burned from his unshaven stubble of the night. Before I could say anything, he stormed away.

I threw my head back against the solid metal, cursing myself. I'd just had the best makeout session of my life and he walked away without even discussing what that made us...or what that made _me._ He'd even initiated it, something I'd only had in a dream or two here or there. What did that mean for our training, for my position on the ship? We’d been dancing around attraction since we’d met and now we had to figure out what to do about it.

Had he been turned on by be standing up to him? I _had_ felt pretty powerful, that was true. But why me? He couldn’t see anything in me, I wasn’t even half as pretty as the noblewomen I’d seen around the Fire Nation capitol. He could have had any of them. Most likely, it was a proximity thing. I was the only girl he’d seen in a while. That didn't make me feel any better about the entire situation. I wished that he'd fumbled with his words awkwardly rather than straight up _leave_.

Self-doubt plagued me...sleep wasn't coming any time soon.


	9. I'm only teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Emiko don't like to talk about feelings. But, when Emiko is insulted, Zuko goes out of his way to fix it.
> 
> Warnings: use of alcohol, language, kissing and touching under the influence, Zuko is an awkward turtle duck when he isn't kissing someone's face off
> 
> NSFW, but nothing crazy

**Emiko**

We were docked again at a relatively well-off Earth Kingdom-turned-Fire Nation colony. The men had plenty of shore leave while the ship restocked. Additional engineers came aboard towards the end, costing Zuko a lot of money but saving us a decent amount of time.

In the end, the engine was running better than usual and all of the men were in great spirits. I tried to pretend that they weren't in great spirits because of the local brothel, but that would have been deluding myself. I could hear them laughing and cajoling with one another on the docks as they left and even more drunkenly when they came back to sleep it off.

There was nothing I really wanted in the town but it called to me nonetheless. Iroh gave me anything I would ever want, so I didn’t need anything. Anyone could have recognized me, even with Iroh promising that any and all wanted posters were mysteriously ‘disappearing’ all over town. That made me feel a little better. But after being sexually frustrated and just socially embarrassed for _days_ , I was going crazy. Zuko had been too busy for practice…and that was awfully convenient.

I was going so crazy that finally, cabin fever got a hold of me. I threw on a simple tunic and pants workout combo. _No need to be fancy._ I threw my hair back in a braid, grabbed my walking staff, and hit the town. I told Iroh I was leaving and he didn’t protest, so felt confident enough to be able to blend in and not be spotted by someone important.

Wherever we were, I didn’t bother learning the name, was a bustling little merchant town filled with mostly middle- to high-class citizens. I noticed that men and women were clustered in little groups all around the docks and throughout the town. I would have bet twenty gold pieces that none of them had grown up in this town. Most looked like transplants from the Fire Nation. That made me incredibly sad—I’d met some wonderful people travelling the world, and what the Fire Nation was doing to the Earth Kingdom was disgusting.

What did that say about me, travelling with the _prince_ of that nation?

I passed a scroll emporium and took a few steps back to peer into it. Scrolls upon scrolls were lined up across the walls. Dozens of shelves lined the middle of the room. I couldn't even see anyone inside because of all of the shelves.

Remembering that Zuko liked firebending scrolls, I stepped inside and started looking around. Everything was extremely nice and expensive. Not too expensive that I couldn't purchase it with what Iroh had given me in my last paycheck, but enough to realize that even the bookshelves were intricately designed and that the signs over the sections were made out of pure gold. 

_Oh, look at this one._ I opened a scroll and peered at what looked like waterbending moves, but were actually a theoretical look on firebending through a waterbending lens. _Zuko would devour this. Maybe it will be a good peace offering, a chance to open up conversations after that…incident._

"Can I help you, boy?" 

I jumped and turned to see a girl about my age with fancy clothing and a strange updo staring me down with contempt. I was used to open hatred, but I didn't need it from this girl. I flushed when I realized that she'd mistaken me for a _boy._

"Oh, my bad...you're a _girl_.” She snickered behind a dainty, gloved hand.

I bristled and tapped my walking stick on the ground in frustration. A few hoity-toity patrons turned to stare at me openly or behind expensive fans. "You're being rather rude to a potential customer, you know." I was still holding the theory scroll in my hand. I wanted to burn it to a crisp, but I refrained.

She did _the_ once-over to me. I didn't realize that _that_ kind of look actually existed until I felt the scrutiny of her gaze judging me from my feet wraps to my braid. "The customers we serve are a little above your station. Please leave before I call security.”

I deliberated on raising my stick and beating her over the head with it. Instead, I smiled softly and said, "Of course. Obviously I don't belong here." I put the scroll back with sarcastic reverence.

"No," she said with a large, fake smile. "You really don't."

* * *

**Zuko**

He looked over the list in front of him, ignoring the cries of the marketplace around him. He had to have enough supplies to keep from stopping for quite a while—all of the stopping, while giving him insight into where the Avatar was, was making him lose precious time. They’d been stuck there for over a week and he wanted to leave.

Zuko looked up to the merchant and said, "Add three more barrels of salted cuttlefish." One of the crewmen next to him groaned, so he shot out a glare at the man. "Is this a problem, Lieutenant?"

"N-no sir," he said nervously, his eyes darting back and forth. A small bead of sweat made its way between his brows. "W-we just have been eating salted cuttlefish for weeks, and I-I—"

"You'll eat what I get you!" Zuko yelled at the man. He saluted in fear and grabbed one of the barrels to take back to the ship so that he didn’t have to deal with Zuko anymore. Zuko turned back to his list, only to see that he'd burned the paper. He sighed and shook the ashes from his hand. "Someone get me a new inventory list!"

He’d been on a short fuse since he kissed Emiko a few nights ago. The thought of her soft gasps and moans sent him into a spiral. On the one hand, he wanted to figure out where this fling would go. How long had it been since he’d ever even considered it? Before his scar. _Mai._ The other part of him…he didn’t know if he could take that rejection and still see her everyday. He didn’t think she would reject him, but the thought of it alone kept him from being brave and initiating such an awkward conversation.

As he was waiting on one of his men to get him a new list, he saw a familiar braid of black storming past him. Her face was red, not from anger, he noticed, but from embarrassment. Her eyes were glassy and her lips were pursed in a way that he'd never seen before.

He jogged to catch up to her and grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away. She smelled like jasmine tea and the soap that they used to clean their clothes. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Back to the ship where I belong," she sniffed as she tugged away from him. He didn't let go, instead pulling her to face him. She refused to look anywhere except away. "Let me go." Even her ears were red.

"What happened?" he demanded. When she didn’t answer, he shook that pale little wrist. “Emiko, come on.”

She finally looked up to him and the look in her eyes made him concerned and furious at the same time. Concerned because it looked as though she'd been crying. Furious because he wanted to squish whatever had made her feel that way. "I was kicked out of a store because of the way I looked."

Zuko blinked a few times and let his hand drop. He looked her up and down, noticing that she had wrapped her feet rather than wear the many shoes Iroh had gotten her. She was wearing a simple pair of training pants that sat high with a matching top that was cropped short, showing a sliver of skin around her middle. He could barely see the bruising that had been there before. Her hair was simply pulled back into a neat braid, wisps falling out here and there. 

All in all, a normal look for her. And how she normally looked made him want to kiss her breathless again. She didn’t need makeup or jewels or fancy clothing. She was just a pretty girl. "This is how you always look," he said. 

Emiko laughed, rolling her eyes, before cocking her jaw in irritation. "Yeah, well, turns out I'm not good enough for this town. I'm just going back to the ship, alright?"

Before she could leave, he grabbed her again. "What shop?"

She stared down at where his hand had grasped her wrist. "It was a scroll—you know, I'm getting tired of you manhandling me." He didn't even have time to reply before she twisted her arm toward his thumb and forefinger and wrenched it out of his grip. He was proud that she’d done it so well, considering he’d taught it to her. Proud and insanely turned on.

He didn’t know it until the day before, but someone going nose to nose with him was an incredible turn on. It happened again just now as she lifted her chin and _dared_ him to talk down to her. To discourage the confidence she’d been growing. The fire in her eyes was growing stronger every day…and dammit if he didn’t want to keep it going.

That light dimmed only slightly as she bowed her head. That confidence was dashed by someone over how she _looked._ "It was nothing, my prince.”

Zuko was quiet for a moment as he looked between both of her eyes, now dry. Why couldn’t he control his feelings around this girl? He was angry that someone could be so crass to her. "So, what," he sneered as he massaged his sore hand, "you're just going to cry about it?"

"No!" she denied, flushed. "I mean...I don't know. I'll figure something out." She turned around with such a force that he was hit with her braid. He watched her hips sway as she left. He wondered if she did that on purpose.

* * *

**Zuko**

He decided that he was working with idiots about an hour later. Half of his crew was out boozing and whoring and having a great time while the other half was hung over and loitering. His shopping list had gotten to him, alright, but it had been drawn rather than written. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to get for his ship…and it was his fault. His quartermaster had died in the storm, along with three other men.

So now here he was, punishing himself with a job he would never normally do because dammit if he didn’t feel _guilty._

"This is pointless!" he growled, throwing his hands in the air. His outburst scared a few of the merchants around him but he didn't care. " _Agni_ , I need a drink."

Zuko left his post and just made his way through the town. When he and Iroh scouted the place, he'd found a great little hole to get drunk in. Not that he'd indulged himself like that in a while, but, with the way everything had been going so far—from losing the Avatar to his ship malfunctioning to the kiss he’d shared with Emiko—he realized that he needed the distraction.

He found himself walking past many rich shops filled with jewelry, clothing, scrolls, and furniture. He realized that Emiko could have been kicked out of any of them—most were filled with the kinds of people that would look down on someone like her. It actually made him mad the longer he thought about it.

Emiko was strong-willed and stubborn, but she wasn't a street urchin or a thief. She _had_ the money to buy nice things and she even had beautiful clothes, but she chose not to wear anything pretentious. His chest hurt when he thought about the glassy-eyed look she'd had when she went back to the ship.

He passed by a store selling scrolls and realized that _that_ was the kind of store she said she'd been kicked out of. The hurt in his chest turned to fury when he saw the snobby cashier behind the desk and the high-class people that he was used to seeing at the palace milling about the store. He made a split-second decision and stormed in.

The cashier was pretty, he supposed, in that snobbish way he was really annoyed with at the moment. She had big brown doe eyes and her hair was done in the fashionable Fire Nation way he was used to seeing. She smiled at him the second he entered, probably noting his expensive clothing. "Hello, welcome to Kinokuniya Scrolls. My name is Mika. Please let me know if there is anything you need, handsome!" Her clothes were cut well and she knew that she was pretty and affluent and she wanted _him_ to know that. It made his blood boil.

He wanted to knock her down a peg. "Did you kick out a young girl earlier?"

She blinked and looked at him again, this time a little nervously. "I'm not sure what you—"

"About this high," he said through clenched teeth, waving his hand about to the middle of his chest where Emiko's head hit. "Black hair in a messy braid, bright yellow eyes, pale skin. Wearing a potato sack and foot wraps."

Mika's eyes darted back and forth nervously as she played with a piece of jewelry in her hair. "W-well, yes, I did. She was making the customers nervous and she did not appear to be able to afford anything in this store. I didn't want her to steal anything so I asked her to leave."

He grit his teeth and, without thinking, said, "Unlike you, she doesn't like to appear ostentatious. Being aide to the _Crown Prince of the Fire Nation_ gives her enough social standing. I'd think you would know who she and I both are."

The white lie was enough to put some fear in her bones, so he didn't mind using it. Her eyes widened. She started stammering and a small sweat beaded up on her upper lip and forehead. "O-oh Spirits, I am so sorry, Prince Zuko! I had no idea that the street urch—that the girl was y-your significant other—aide! Your aide!” She corrected herself when he glared at her. “P-please, I meant no harm—"

Zuko was about to throw a few more wrenches into her cogs before a small voice spoke up behind him. "I told you that I didn't need you to fight my battles."

He turned around and he lost his breath for a moment. Emiko was there, but she was… _wow_. Her hair was up in traditional Fire Nation poofs with golden jewelry hanging from each side in beads. She’d put on makeup, evening out her skin and making it perfect. Her eyes looked larger than normal with black eyeliner adorning each eyelid. Pale pink blush made her cheekbones stand out and bright red lipstick had been painted on her lips. 

She was wearing a traditional Fire Nation robe of red and pale gold, like her eyes, with small silken shoes on her dainty feet. A wide sash pulled tight around her waist, giving her a figure. Her hands were stuck between her sleeves and she stood like she had some kind of station, like a noblewoman. Definitely different from any way he’d seen her before.

"Emiko?" he asked, flushing as he realized that she looked spectacular and that she’d heard him. "You, ah...I thought you were on the ship!"

"I was," she conceded with a nod of her head. It made the jewelry in her hair tinkle and showed that she also had shoved a fire lily up there.

"What are you _doing_ here?" he asked with a slightly higher-pitched voice than he normally used. “What—I—”

She nudged him in the stomach a little too hard. "You talk too much sometimes. Why don't we go get something to drink? This place is a little too hoity-toity for me." She put her arm through his and pulled him along, outside the bookstore, and down toward the little hole-in-the-wall bar he'd been wanting to go to.

As soon as they got far enough away, he noticed that she was biting her lip. A light of amusement was in her eyes. "So...‘aide to the Prince,’ huh?"

"Oh shut up!" He pushed her arm off of him and stalked away. He had been trying to do a good thing and she was making fun of him for it. Probably what she’d do if he talked to her about the kiss.

"Wait, Zuko, I'm only teasing!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him back, smiling up to him in a way that he hadn't seen before. "I thought it was sweet."

"Well, the cashier was pompous and that store was way over-priced anyway." He threw his nose up and tried to pretend that he'd been doing it for himself, but he knew she could see straight through it. "Besides, she thought that you would _steal_ something. How ridiculous is that?"

She bit her lip and hummed, "Uh-huh,” a flirtatious smile on her face.

He cupped her cheek and used his thumb to stop her from doing that. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of those lips and watching her bite them did something to his self-control. "Stop it, you’ll ruin your makeup. It looks...nice." She looked good with and without makeup, but with it her best features were more accentuated. Those eyes looked impossibly wide and her lips looked even more delicious, begging him to take her back to the ship and do something else with them besides talking. 

"Thanks...I don't look like I'd steal anything now, though, do I?" she asked, those lips turned up in a sly smile. He stared at her for a little too long before realizing that she was holding a scroll up in her hands, waving it in his face.

She had _stolen_ the scroll! "Emiko! What in Koh's name did you _do_?"

She put a finger to his lips and looked around to make sure that no one had heard him. "Shhh! I took it because those people were _awful_. And I just wanted to see that I could do it."

Zuko stared at her for a moment, her soft finger still pressed against his lips, and then he felt a laugh bubbling in his chest. He let it come to the surface and couldn't help himself. After all of that, from her disguise to his intervening, she'd just gone back to get revenge! The girl in front of him was a devious little minx, but she looked so cute and innocent. "That girl didn't stand a chance, did she?"

Emiko was smiling wide and chuckling too as she slid the scroll back up her wide sleeves and shook her head. "You know what's even funnier? I _was_ going to buy it when I first went in. Then she made me feel like vermin. So…payback has never felt sweeter."

The prince shook his head, a smile still on his face, and put a hand on Emiko's lower back to lead her down the street again. "Let's go. Drinks on me."

* * *

**Emiko**

The bar was a squat, one story rectangle building that looked rather nondescript considering the establishments it was surrounded by. Still, music was coming from inside and I smelled food. My stomach growled in anticipation.

Zuko’s hand was warm and solid on my back. I was momentarily taken aback by the relaxed and easy-going look he had on his face. I realized then that that was the first time I'd heard him laugh. I really liked it and the smile he kept on his face. It made him seem younger and _human_. When was the last time he hung out with someone his age?

He led me inside the bar and I kept thinking about how he'd gone back to avenge me. This wasn't like him saving my life, or even letting me stay on his ship—he'd been looking out for me _personally_. He had even made up a stupid white lie to intimidate the girl. Even though it had been a _little_ cruel, I only kept thinking about how sweet it was. Zuko didn’t seem like the _sweet_ kind. I was happy to be pleasantly surprised.

A single room with a large bar against the right wall greeted us. The bar buzzed with an excited energy. In the middle was a good-sized dance floor, and on the left side of the room were chairs and seats for patrons to relax. The delicious smells came from behind the bar. 

Most of the crew had taken their leave at this venue and they looked at us curiously. We were a strange couple compared to what was there—most were courtesans and sailors, not a prince and his _aide_. Zuko looked a little lost, so I grabbed his arm and pulled him to a table in the corner. Too many eyes tried to look in our direction.

A gaggle of courtesans passed us, giggling and eyeing up Zuko. "Now I feel like I don't belong _here_ ," I groaned. I hated being stared at and watching people whisper about me behind their hands.

Zuko chuckled into the fire whiskey that had been brought before him. I'd only gotten a small fruity drink from the same waitress and I glared at it. "There's a poetry club next door, if you're interested."

I was sure that the blush on my face showed through the makeup. "That's not funny, Zuko."

"No? Well, that drink is."

I grabbed the drink from his hand and downed it in two gulps. The cup gave a high-pitched _clank_ as it hit the table. I slid my fruity drink toward him and raised an eyebrow. "All yours. I'm not a fruity drink kinda girl."

He looked a little surprised but ignored the drink. "No...you definitely aren't. You're different from any girl I've ever met."

I snorted in laughter and waved the bar wench over. "Fire whiskey, four. Two for me and two for him, we need 'em." She looked surprised but left to fill our order. I turned back to the prince and said, "You need to get out of your castle more often, Prince Zuko. There are a lot of different kinds of girls out there besides your rich heiresses."

"I know that," he snapped, suddenly back to his usual surly self. "Most girls are normal, unlike you!"

Thankfully at that point, the waitress had brought the new drinks over and we both had something to hide the awkwardness in. I pursed my lips and stared into it before he grudgingly apologized. 

“I…I’m sorry. I haven’t talked to a girl in a while.”

“ _No_ ,” I gasped, sarcastic. “Really?”

He glared at me before looking into his fire whiskey. He was cute when he was flustered. “I… _ahem_. I’m not sure where to tread, here.”

“Me, either,” I admitted. _Is it time? The talk?_ I raised my glass. “Here’s to not being able to communicate with the opposite sex.”

He cheers’d that pretty fast. A second glass of alcohol made me warm. I knew that if I didn’t get any food in us that I would be under the table with a few more, though. Then _nothing_ would be discussed and he’d have to hold my hair back for me next to some unfortunate fence.

“Let me go get us some food. When I’m back, maybe we can talk?” His face paled but he nodded. “Be right back.”

The man at the front of the bar was nice and expedited an order of simple grilled pork with a side of rice. The prince preferred pork to beef, apparently. Iroh loved savory foods above all. Chef snuck extra fresh fruits aboard for the both of them every other month as a surprise. I liked that that humanized people, their food choices. Fuck, I was hungry.

I was reading the labels of alcohol behind the bar, waiting on our food, when a hand landed on my shoulder. “I just ordered, it’s gonna be a second—”

“Red!” It felt like someone had dumped a glass of ice water down my back. "Well, if it isn't an old _friend._ ” A dangerously beautiful woman stood there with long, straight black hair that covered part of her face and was partially held up by a top knot. A pleasant smile adorned her maroon-painted lips and her brown eyes were lined in black.

"Jun?" I asked carefully. This was a bounty hunter my father had used on me before, but, at the time, I'd been a Freedom Fighter. The Freedom Fighters and Jun had a deal—that, as long as she left us alone, we'd help capture Fire Nation fugitives for her. We made her a lot of money and, in return, we kept our freedom. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged and said, "Same-old, same-old. Catching bounties, drinking, trashing places. Leaving a trail of broken hearts. You still with that group of kids?"

I had to tread carefully with her. I could see the greed behind her eyes—she _knew_ how much I would pay out if brought back to my father. Zuko, behind me, could see that I had gone rigid. He tried to say something and stand, but I held my hand back at him. I didn't want him getting into this.

"Once a Freedom Fighter, always a Freedom Fighter," I said. A drop of sweat trickled down between my shoulder blades.

She smirked and gave me a pound on the back, eying me up and down. "Well, it looks like you're loaded! How about you buy me a drink and I pretend I don't know how much of a bounty is on your head."

“I…I’m with someone.” I gestured back to Zuko who looked like he was ready to throw down.

Jun’s smile made my stomach knot up in nausea. “Your boyfriend can wait a minute. We haven’t seen each other in _so long_ , Red.”

I gave Zuko a pleading look. He sat back and kept watch for me, giving me a concerned nod. “Okay…just for a minute.”

“Two shots, Ilka. On her.”

Twiddling my thumbs was the only thing I could do. The tension in the air was worse than Koh breathing down my back. The alcohol the bartender passed us only helped a little bit. We talked hesitantly to each other, leaving out important details and mostly making small talk, which didn’t seem like her at all. Probably sizing me up to see if it was worth the pain of trying to take me on.

"Your boyfriend is cute," Jun said after her third drink.

"What?" I asked, my face heating up. I turned around to see that a few women had surrounded him, chatting and trying to catch his eye. A furious blush came to my cheeks and anger bubbled in my chest. The sudden strong feeling caught me off guard. "He's not my boyfriend!"

Jun snorted into her drink and looked at me with a wry eye. The other was hidden behind her hair. "Yeah, and I'm from the north pole. You two are so wound up that it makes _me_ sexually frustrated."

I blushed and put down my drink. My face was numb and my lips were getting tingly—a sign that I had had a few too many. _Where’s that damn pork?_ "I'm not—"

"Don't even, Red." _How does she know my Freedom Fighter codename, anyway?_ "No excuses. Go over there and get your man before he disappears upstairs with one of those girls. The small one's even kinda cute."

Picturing Zuko taking one of those girls upstairs and ravaging her made my breath hitch—both in embarrassment and in jealousy. I could only imagine what that body could do to a woman. I turned back to Jun and said, "You sure you're not gonna try to take me in tonight?"

"Not tonight," she said simply, one eye peering up at me. "You're worth a hefty sum, but you're also surrounded by allies and I'm not quite sure I could take you in you right now, even drunk off your ass. Your hand-to-hand sucks dick—"

"Hey!"

"—but you’ve got more street smarts than most."

Jun was a lot like Iroh in the fact that she could read people with ease. It kind of scared me, actually, and I was glad that I didn't have to fight her that day. Finding her weak points while intoxicated didn't seem like a great battle plan. "Thanks, I think." 

"It's a compliment. Now go get 'im before I take him and ravage him myself."

I stood up, confident and ready, but I stumbled a little bit. I couldn't blush anymore at that point, between the thoughts of Zuko doing dangerous things to my body and the alcohol in my system. I pushed my way through the group of women. They glared at me and cried out when I maybe pushed one to the side, the cute one. Maybe. I wound my arm through Zuko's, saying, "Sorry, ladies. This one’s not for you."

He was going to protest, but I pressed myself closer, hoping that he got the message. He took his arm from mine and suddenly wrapped it around my waist. The heated smell of fire whiskey assaulted my nose—how much had he had to drink since I'd left? I gave him a good stomp on the foot, not that my little silk slipper did anything to his armored shoe.

"She's absolutely right, ladies. I'm sorry, but I must leave with my date." I elbowed him harshly in the ribs because it was _not_ a good place to be calling me his date. The hand on my waist pulled me away and out the door before I could protest.

I grit my teeth, frustrated again. I didn't belong next door, at the 'poetry club,' as Zuko had said, and I didn't belong in any of the stores. I didn't belong in that bar, either. The only woman who wasn't willing to give herself away in there was Jun, and I doubted even that as she scrutinized the men (and even some of the women) with an eaglehawk eye.

Zuko was pulling me along at a pace that made me a little dizzy after not eating and then drinking what I had. "Zuko.” The sudden stop made me stumble, but he grabbed and held me close enough that the planes of his body took my breath away. “I'm not...like _them_."

I couldn’t let him think that I was just something he could play with. Just because I was the only woman on the ship, didn’t mean I did…those things. Not that those things they did were bad at all. But with him, I didn’t want some situation where he slept with me and allowed me to stay on as a crewmember he paid. If we were doing something, I wanted it to be real.

Zuko's eyes flickered back to the bar. The women who had propositioned him had followed us out. They cooed and whistled to him, waving him back over. Obviously he knew I wasn’t like them, that was a dumb thing to say. I stuffed my head in his shoulder, embarrassed.

One of his hands came up and cupped the back of my head. That embarrassed me, too. "Clearly. Thanks for saving me from them."

I didn't look up, even if my face was covered in makeup enough to hide my embarrassment. "Well, I couldn't let you..."

"What?" he asked softly, his lips ghosting against the shell of my ear. A small shiver ran its way down my back and a heat built in my abdomen. This wasn't the alcohol's heat, either. Once again I was pulled tight to his body and all I wanted to do was rub against him like a cat-snake.

When I pulled back to look at him, his beautiful topaz eyes turned three shades darker. He leaned close. "Are you... _jealous?_ " he murmured, his breath against my lips making me shiver.

The moon disappeared behind a cloud, darkening the street we were on. Everything seemed to pause. I shivered from his warm, calloused touch. "I-I just...no! I..."

One of his hands slid down my hip, the other firmly pulling my head up, before his lips pushed against mine. His kiss was intoxicating. I parted my lips and flickering my tongue against his, grasping the back of his neck to pull him down so I didn’t have to stand on my tiptoes to reach those sinful lips.

Even if someone saw, I didn’t care. We were all alone in our own little world, holding each other close, kissing with a slow, strong emotion that scared the shit out of me if I was being honest with myself. Or at least I told myself I didn’t care.

 _What are you doing?_ my brain was _actually_ asking, melting in the intimacy of our embrace. The rational part of me was screaming common sense. I wasn’t exactly sticking to not being one of _those_ women because if he asked me back to his bed, I wasn’t sure I would be able to say no.

“Zuko…we should… _oh…_ we should t-talk about this.” He’d bitten down on my earlobe and I felt the slick forming at the apex of my thighs from that little nip alone.

He pulled back to look me in the eye. His were three shades darker, the topaz shadowy in the dim light of the moon and stars. "Yeah, yeah, you're right." His eyes wouldn't leave my face and his eyes were glazed, probably much like mine were.

I glanced down at his lips and saw that they were smudged with more than a little of my lipstick. It made me laugh as I picked his chin up and used my kimono's sleeve to wipe it off. "You, ah, have some paint on your lips...

"I think I could use some more, actually.” His lips descended on mine again, his hands pulling my body in and knocking me off-balance. I gasped, opening up my lips to him, and he took advantage as he hotly lined my lower lip with his tongue.

He tasted _amazing_. I couldn't help but fall into his kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. My body was warming up again and I moaned into the prince's mouth.

It wasn't slow, as it had been earlier. He tugged on my hair a little, making me gasp as his tongue thrust against mine. His hand on my back tugged at my hips, rocking us together. Then he pulled my hair harshly to the side, making me tilt my chin up, and he started to line my jaw and neck with open-mouthed kisses and stinging nips of his teeth.

My hands moved upwards to feel the steel of his jaw…and maybe to hold those sinful lips closer to my neck. I let my fingers caress his face, memorizing every feature. He had strong cheekbones, a deadly jaw. Every inch of him was solid and warm and comforting.

My thumb skimmed over his scar and he pulled away from me. The flesh there was rougher than surrounding skin and slightly raised, but he wouldn’t let me explore more. He was breathing hard, too. I saw a little bit of fear hidden in his eyes. Something had made him nervous, was it something I did? "We, ah...we should get back to the ship."

My eyebrows drew together in concern. "Zuko..."

He shook his head. His voice got dangerously low as he said, "I…I can’t.” 

And he left me standing there _again_ , all alone after a kiss that literally took my breath away. I spent the rest of the night meditating, unable to sleep, with my insecurities running rampant.


	10. I can't imagine this was easy for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ship gets pulled over by Zhao, inviting the prince and Iroh to a demonstration. Emiko packs a bag, just in case...because her father isn't the only family she has at the Pouhai Stronghold.
> 
> Warnings: panic attack, militant patriotism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ten chapters! It's been so much fun writing these for ya'll, and exploring these characters again. Thank you to all of my followers and commenters, I'm always excited to read your thoughts on these!

**Emiko**

Our ship steamed through water, leaving land in its wake. A group of us congregated in the newly-minted command center, all new metal and equipment lining the walls. I was sitting at a brand new Pai Sho table with Iroh and a few other older crew members, like Doc and a nice man I’d just met called Yi-Sen. He had two daughters, and two grandchildren on the way.

The rest of the room was abuzz with people running information back and forth. Zuko stood over his lieutenant's shoulder near the windows at the helm. Lieutenant Jee and Zuko were both talking about the avatar _again_ as I studied the playing styles of the men around me. It'd been a while since I'd played so I was rusty. Iroh was doing a good job of reteaching me.

Jee pointed at a map of the world that he was holding. He pointed at a part of the map which indicated that we were currently at the northwest corner of the Earth Kingdom, close to the eastern most extremity of the once-Northern Air Nomad lands. I tried to listen to him and pay attention to the board but Pai Sho was actually really difficult and I quickly lost track of what those guys were doing.

I was ready to make my next move, but light in the room turned to shadow as a massive, _hulking_ ship passed us to starboard and headed in the opposite direction. Everyone on Zuko's bridge stared at it. It slowed and someone on the other ship signaled that they needed to speak with ours. I recognized the insignia of the battalion and it made my blood run cold.

“Iroh,” I whispered, panic welling in my chest. He caught my eye and gestured his head to the door. I nodded and excused myself—at least, I thought that I'd excused myself. Iroh's eyes burned into my back with worry as I ran off. I couldn’t let _him_ see me. He was most likely going to board, or one of his lackeys was going to.

I bit back a scream and hid in the shadows as Commander Zhao's familiar-looking note-taker strode past me with a few very-well armed guards. _Chin? I think._ They didn’t notice me. I took deep breaths to calm myself and ran to my room below deck.

I threw all of my clothes from the wardrobe into a bag in case I had to run. I threw it under the bed and grabbed a blanket and the picture of my mother before joining the bag. The floor was cold and dusty but felt safe. Safer than being in plain sight.

It was hours before Iroh came to find me. “Oh, child…” He pulled me from under the bed and held me while I hyperventilated in his arms. “He is gone. He had no idea you might even be here. There is no need to worry.”

His hug was comforting but constricting at the same time. My breath felt like it was heavy and trying to suffocate me, like his arms. But I stayed in his embrace until my breathing evened and it didn’t feel like the world was ending. “Iroh…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything,” he whispered, his cheek resting on my head. 

I sobbed, my body shaking in his arms. He only soothed me with a warm hand rubbing my back. “Y-you know anyway.”

“I do not,” he stated, “I can only make guesses, and those can be wrong.” He hummed a familiar tune and rocked me for a while, letting my sniffles and hiccups fill the room. His shirt was stained with saltwater from my tears.

“I-I’m sorry, I ruined your shirt.” I dried my face as best I could and tried to get a hold of myself.

“No apologies needed.” 

Iroh had always been a friend, an ally in my fight. Not telling him this made me feel worse than he could ever make me feel if I told him. I stood up from his grasp and started pacing. It was hard to vocalize the abuse. It was hard to explain him the change that my father had gone through after my mother passed. He was no longer that man, but I _wanted_ him to be. I wanted him to change back.

He could tell that I was struggling to find the words, so he said them for me. “Admiral Zhao is a cruel man.”

I choked. The title was definitely new and shocked me enough to change the topic. “ _Admiral?_ ”

Iroh nodded. “A new promotion, apparently. He has asked us to join him at the Pohuai Stronghold for a… _presentation._ We tried to refuse, but a direct order is a direct order.”

“Aren’t you a general?” I gazed at him incredulously. “Don’t you outrank him?”

“Retired general,” he said simply. “I have some foothold, as does my nephew, but maintaining appearances is important with Zuko’s banishment.”

I hated my father more in that moment. “He’s such an _asshole!_ How could he do this to you? To Zuko? Why…why does he have to push him so much, huh? Zuko’s just trying to prove himself, and Zhao… He’s so selfish, and cruel! Why does he _hate me so much_?” I caught myself with the last sentence and stared at Iroh’s kind eyes through the tears in mine.

“Your father, I take it.”

My lower lip trembled but I refused to cry anymore. To be afraid of that man. “Yes.”

Iroh blew out a breath. I had no clue what he’d expected, but Zhao being my father seemed to surprise him. “I…I’m sorry, Emiko. I give you my word that we will not let him know a word about you.”

I chuckled, realizing that maybe I was going a little crazy. Now was definitely not the time to laugh. “You can try. He’ll most likely send soldiers behind you to search your ship for information about the avatar. Even if I stay behind, he’ll find me.”

“Then we will hide you until we leave. Emiko, look at me.” I hadn’t realized that I was pacing again until he stood up and put his hands on my shoulder. Iroh’s kind eyes were the last thing I wanted to see while I was panicking and planning my exit route. It would make it harder to want to leave if he showed me any kind of affection. “He will not find you.”

“What’s the presentation?” I asked, rather than acknowledge his statement. “What is so important that Zhao wants the prince there as a _decoration_.” I knew exactly how my father worked. He wanted Zuko to see something that would dismantle him. He wanted his men to see the prince dethroned, while he himself was raised up on a shiny pedestal.

“I’m not sure. I have suspicions, but that is all they are.” He was being purposely obtuse.

Either way, I’d made up my mind. I knew exactly what I had to do, and this time I wasn’t going to run away. “Right. Well, until then, my bags are packed in case I need to run.” _Or I don’t come back._ I bowed to Iroh, shocking him. “Thank you for your care, and your time. You have been nothing but good to me, Iroh.”

When I stood up he enveloped me in a hug that made me almost break down. “You are a treasure, Emiko. I hope that you will not do anything rash.” 

* * *

**Zuko**

Zhao wanting him at the stronghold only meant one thing—that he’d captured the avatar. And wanted to rub it in Zuko’s face, of course. He had to be fast and quiet to get the kid out…somehow, while he was supposed to be doing a “royal visit” to the stronghold.

This was a _massive_ fortress. Men were stationed all around the walls and towers and—of course—the front gates. Zuko knew from studying in Iroh's library that the stronghold had three walls all the way around. No way to break it. It was one thing being pinned down by a Yu Yan while trying to escape a prison, but it was another thing all together to be killed while trying to get _into_ a prison.

Zuko thought through the schematics in his head. The fortress was a structure made up of multiple stone walls surrounding a large pagoda tower at the center of the base. The walls were coated with iron to protect it from earthbenders. The building housed its own prisons and was a major material depot for the Fire Nation Army. This massive metal structure was built by the Fire Nation military as a troop and supply hub where soldiers and firebenders trained before they were deployed into battle. Iroh especially had information on this particular stronghold because supplies had been moved from the stronghold over thousands of miles of rail lines to the Fire Nation Army assembling at the outskirts of Ba Sing Se when Iroh had laid siege upon it.

A man around Zuko’s age stood proud at the front gate with a delegation of soldiers behind him. “Prince Zuko,” the man said with a bow before turning to Iroh. “General Iroh. We welcome you to the Pouhai Stronghold. I am Captain Isamu. I have been instructed to bring you in for a formal dinner, followed by an inspection of the stronghold, and finally a speech by our Admiral on site. Please follow me.”

Zuko and Iroh shared a look. Somewhere in that busy schedule, Zuko needed to find a way to slip out. He looked around to verify that Iroh’s schematics were still viable and that he could escape at any time, if needed, through the inner walls. He could easily borrow a mask and sneak right through Zhao’s ranks.

The last set of doors closed behind them. Zuko took a deep breath and ignored Iroh’s prattling to the Captain somewhere in the near vicinity. A central pagoda rose up high in front of them. Hundreds of bunkers lined the inside of the innermost wall, housing for soldiers who were stationed there. Said soldiers had been practicing inside the second and third wall when they’d passed by. Many, many men were walking around, working, practicing, running messages back and forth to the important higher-ups that stopped by the stronghold every so often.

They stopped near the center pagoda and Isamu’s delegation dispersed. Isamu bowed and directed them inside and up a set of stairs to a rather nicely-decorated lounging room. Zuko smelled something delicious coming in from behind a set of double doors to the back. Comfy chairs were scattered throughout the room. One was occupied by a rather beautiful woman.

She was a decorated Commander in the Fire Nation Army, according to her uniform. She had her dark chocolate hair up in a high ponytail, wisps of bangs framing her face. High cheekbones and pale skin looked rather familiar, but hazel eyes showed a stranger. She looked to be around Zuko’s age as well.

She stood when he entered, giving a bow. “Prince Zuko, General Iroh, a pleasure.” 

Zuko wanted to roll his eyes but was able to refrain somehow. If there was one thing he didn’t miss from before his banishment, it was the pomp and circumstance of being royal. Still, he’d been raised properly to recite pleasantries. He bowed back. “And to whom do we owe the pleasure?”

“Captain Jasmine, at your service. I will be hosting you until my father, Admiral Zhao, attends us.”

Zuko’s jaw almost fell off of his face. _Zhao_ had a _daughter_? And she looked like _that_? Koh, she was actually really beautiful! Tall, lithe, and she’d probably take his head off if given the chance. He’d have to keep an eye on her. Something about her reminded him a lot of his younger sister. Cruel. Not an ounce of empathy anywhere on her being.

A look at Iroh showed Zuko that the old man seemed just as speechless. Somehow he found his manners before Zuko did. “Ah…I did not know that Admiral Zhao had a daughter.” Something in his tone sounded off. The entire situation was too weird for Zuko to think anything more of it, though.

Jasmine smiled, her face hardening into a look that was _very_ Zhao. _Now I see the resemblance._ “I have a brother and a sister, actually. Both are currently missing in action.” She was very unconcerned for someone whose siblings were missing. “May I offer you some tea before dinner?”

Uncle picked his jaw up off the floor and used tea as an excuse to change the topic. Good thing, too, because Zuko didn’t want to think of Zhao procreating again any time soon.

Jasmine’s lips turned up in a coy smile as she poured a cup of tea for the general. “Isamu, please retire to the dining room and ensure that dinner is ready.” The man snapped his heels together and left without another word. “Poor sap.”

Iroh took the tea willingly, sipping on it and giving an affirmative sound at its taste as he sipped it. “And why is that?”

“He’s engaged to my sister.” Again, very cold for someone whose siblings were _missing_.

Iroh choked on his tea. For the next five minutes, Zuko was patting his uncle’s back and wondered if now was the right time to sneak out. Maybe he had to wait until the tour, or the speech. The speech would actually be a perfect time, as long as Zuko wasn’t required to be a part it. It was a 50/50 shot, either way.

“Wrong pipe,” the old man wheezed. “Good tea though. My…what kind was it?”

Something was _definitely_ wrong with Iroh. That, or he was trying really badly to flirt with this girl. Bad timing, either way. Zuko needed him to be on his best behavior for this plan to go off without a hitch. Also… _gross_.

* * *

**Emiko**

I’d been right. Zhao sent a delegation behind Iroh and Zuko to search the ship with a royal warrant. Luckily, I was in the thickest part of the forest near the dock, way up in the trees. Patrols passing below me didn’t notice me, and none of the ships in the harbor could see my hiding spot. I could see a bit of the road, though, so I would know when Zhao’s delegation passed by. 

Hopefully they left before Zuko and Iroh got back. I needed to be on that ship before they left. Getting left behind by them felt…damn, it made my heart ache. I was growing fond of Iroh. Maybe a little too fond. He wasn’t my father, I had to remember that. Koh, he wasn’t even my uncle. He was just a kind man who was taking care of me in reparations for almost getting me killed.

And _Zuko_ …fuck, I didn’t know what I was going to do with that situation. He continuously pushed me aside after wrangling the best damn kisses of my life out of me. If he thought I was going to give him some kind of fling, he had another thing coming. He held so much power over me, I couldn’t be that stupid as to let him use me and toss me aside. 

He’d given me his word that he wouldn’t kick me off the ship, though. If he ever found out who my father was, I was sure that _that_ promise was as good as rescinded. It killed me to keep that secret from him.

I hated that these kisses had made us so distant. I missed reading scrolls with him in companionable silence. I missed his somehow calm, somehow impatient tone as he walked me through the basics. I missed watching him flush when someone complimented him. 

And yet, why in Koh’s name was I even considering a relationship with this man? He was the Prince of the Fire Nation. He was the heir to the throne of the country that was trying to control the entire world. Shouldn’t I be fighting _against_ him? The Freedom Fighters would be so ashamed of me.

They didn’t see his awkward smiles. No one saw the caring, soft core of this prickly man. I did. It had been battered and bruised from years of abuse by people who should have cared for him, like his father. I didn’t in any way think that I could fix it, but watching him grow and learn to be a better person every day…it was something to behold, indeed.

I held my breath when I heard a rustling of the path beneath me. I could hear men talking and laughing about the state of Zuko’s ship. How small it was, how damaged, how outdated. It made my ears burn in anger. 

“Commander Jasmine would have our hide if our bunkers looked anything like that,” one said.

I almost fell out of my tree. _Jasmine?_ I hadn’t seen my older sister in years! That meant… I blanched, realizing that Jasmine was in the stronghold _with Iroh and Zuko_. I knew that Iroh was going to protect my secret, but my sister _hated_ me. She could easily mutter my name as a curse and out me to my saviors.

I resigned myself to that fate. There was absolutely nothing I could do at that point. Instead, I climbed down the tree and made my way back to the ship. If anything, I could have a nightcap prepared for Iroh and the prince when they made their way back to the ship. And an escape plan for when Zuko banished me from his vessel.

* * *

**Zuko**

There were several stories of the stronghold that were underground, and the captive, whom Zuko assumed was Aang, was on level B:7. The entire fortress held a least 1,000 soldiers, not including the Yu Yan and Imperial Guards that sometimes stayed. Three soldiers were at a post at one time, and one was never alone even when walking the halls.

Zuko hoped he could do this. The entire stronghold’s garrison, minus some key guard positions, was attending Zhao’s speech. Zhao had only asked for Iroh, the great Dragon of the West, to be a part of the speech. No doubt so that Zuko would have to watch in humiliation as Zhao announced his victory in capturing the avatar.

 _Well, I’m about to put and end to that victory. I have to._ If he didn’t, Zuko would never be able to return home. It was the only thing he’d ever truly wanted in his life, the only thing he could strive for.

One unlucky man had decided to leave his post early, down in B:7. He had no idea what was happening as four perfectly-thrown daggers embedded themselves into the wall behind him, trapping his thick bear-boar hide uniform to the wall. Before he could cry out, Zuko hit a nerve in his neck and he passed out. Not dead, but taken care of for a while. His replacement, exactly on time, spotted the trussed man, though, and Zuko had to make quick work of him.

Zuko undressed both guards and trussed them up well. Then, he opened the door to the prisoner’s cell. Aang looked just as remembered—a slim teenager, bald, with bright blue arrow markings all over his body. His bright airbender clothing made him stand out. _Gotta fix that._

“Who are you? Let me out!”

Zuko didn’t speak. He was disguised as a normal guard. He threw one of the naked guard’s uniforms at him before undoing his restraints. 

“Oh…uh…are you _helping_ me?” Zuko nodded. “Thanks…I think. What’s next? How do I get out?”

Zuko drug the guards inside the room and shackled them to the restraints that previously held the avatar. Then, he pulled out a map he’d taken from Iroh’s study. He pointed to a medium-sized delivery tunnel. It was the only exit that didn’t require going through the two inner sets of doors.

The prince lowered his voice to a whisper, hoping to disguise his voice. “You’ll need to be fast and quiet. Don’t look at or speak to anyone.” 

Aang stared at Zuko for a long time. For a second, Zuko wondered if the boy had recognized him. Instead, the avatar nodded and pulled on the guard’s uniform quickly.

“Let’s go. I’ll take you to the tunnel, then I have to get back.”

“Thank you,” the avatar said. “I can’t imagine this was easy for you.”

Zuko sighed. He didn’t want to have this conversation. So instead of responding, he left the room. The avatar scrambled behind him to catch up, pulling the uniform’s helmet onto his bald head. Quietly, they climbed six flights of stairs. Zuko used a memorized image of the map to direct them to the right hallway that led to freedom.

Two guards stood in front of the locked doorway, each with some kind of shock baton. Aang and Zuko shared a nod before turning the corner and knocking the two out with a burst of wind. They made a nasty thunk but no one was close enough to notice the noise. Zhao’s pride had weakened him; he needed adoration from everyone, leaving himself weak to infiltration. 

“Thank you,” Aang said, turning to Zuko and bowing. Zuko was confused at the sudden burst of guilt and disgust that filled him. “I’m serious…Zuko.”

Zuko grasped Aang by the neck and threw him against the wall of the hallway. The teen’s frightened eyes widened. “Get out of here. _Now._ ” He threw Aang away and turned around in disgust. 

A light breeze passed, and then the avatar was gone. Zuko cleaned up the men who’d been knocked out and kicked a few walls on his way back out to the courtyard. He had _no clue_ what he’d just done. He’d betrayed his country, essentially! Wasn’t his country what he was doing all of this _for_? Then why couldn’t he stand to lose?

He knew the answer to that as soon as he stepped back out into the courtyard, back in his customary armor and gear. Thousands of men lined the courtyard, adorned in their finest. It was quite a garrison Zhao had managed to put together. Up on a balcony on the pagoda, Zhao was belching forth a speech that would have made any Fire Nation citizen stand up and cry out in patriotism.

For Zuko, though, it made him sick. 

“We are the sons and daughters of fire, the superior element! Until today only one thing stood our path to victory, the Avatar. I am here to tell you that he is now my prisoner!” The crowd cheered. Iroh, next to Zhao, was scanning the field with a worried eye. “This is the year Sozin's Comet returns to grant us its power!” The crowd went wild again, being calmed only by Zhao’s daughter, standing next to the man, signaling when the crowd needed to be quiet. “This is the year the Fire Nation breaks through the walls of Ba Sing Se and _burns the city to the ground!_ ”

Zuko didn’t know what the feeling in him was, but it wasn’t patriotism. It was disgust. The Fire Nation was made for greatness, that was for sure, but every so often they did something that made him wish he wasn’t their prince. That he wasn’t fighting _for_ them, to become a part of them again.

For now, at least, he’d stopped Zhao from winning. He’d stopped the Fire Nation, too, but Zuko was still going to get the avatar. So it was only a mild hinderance. 

He _would_ capture the avatar and restore his honor. He had to.


	11. What’s a girl like you doing in a forest like this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko hires a bounty hunter to help him find the avatar. Emiko gets dragged along, too, since she knows said bounty hunter. Iroh confronts Emiko about her sister. Zuko and Emiko don't exactly talk about their relationship but they do have an intimate moment.  
> Oh, and Emiko meets the Gaang.
> 
> Warnings: NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are seriously awesome. Thanks for 2k views, 50 bookmarks, and almost 50 comments! I didn’t know what I expected when I rewrote this, but I’m loving the feedback so far ❤️

**Zuko**

Zuko took a deep breath, wondering why he was sitting at some little frilly table, drinking some kind of fancy exported tea, and talking like a little schoolgirl to his uncle instead of what he was _supposed_ to be doing. The avatar was out there still, running and laughing and going in complete circles around him and, thank the spirits, Zhao, too.

Zhao hadn’t reacted well to the avatar being gone. Luckily, Zuko had left the stronghold long before Zhao ever noticed.

But Zuko had things to do, and his uncle making him take breaks was distracting.

Iroh drank tea with gusto, giving the creator a compliment—Emiko. She smiled and her cheeks crinkled around her eyes and nose. "I'm glad that you like it, Iroh," she said. “You taught me well!” Daily practice had toned Emiko slightly, resulting in a more angular jaw and slimmer waist. Her hair was longer, too, and she was wearing it down rather than in a braid.

Since the scroll incident, she’d been wearing clothing more befitting someone who was assistant to the Dragon of the West. Today she was in a wrapped tunic, red with yellow trim. A black choker adorned her neck. Her bottom half was black leggings that led to pointy shoes. A tie around the middle of the tunic accentuated her waist and let the rest of the fabric drape gracefully over her wide hips. Hips that hadn’t gotten smaller, but rather just more firm as she’d gained muscle.

The prince looked away and took a deep breath. He’d realized in the past few days that his quest was more important than some fling. Still, he couldn’t help but want to grab those hips and push her up against the nearest wall. 

_Liar. You also just want to be near her_. 

It wasn’t just the physical attraction. While that was undeniable, he also just enjoyed their time together. She was quirky and funny. When she could muster the confidence, she was downright a delight. He hadn’t spent time with someone his age in a while and it was…it was _nice._

Iroh sighed in content, an obvious act to seem relaxed. He leaned back in his chair and took in a deep breath of his tea. "See, Prince Zuko? A moment of quiet is good for your mental well-being!"

Zuko snorted softly into his tea. While his uncle was right and he needed to take more breaks every so often, that didn’t mean that tea breaks were going to become a normal part of his routine. Even if he did get to glance up at a pretty face every so often.

Suddenly a shock that rocked the whole boat caused him to splash the tea all over his face. _What in the spirit world?!_ He pushed out of his chair and stormed out the door, straight to the stairs that led up to the deck.

Once he burst through the upper deck doors, he saw the problem.

A young lady who had long, sleek black hair with skin as pale as Emiko's was sitting upon a giant monster with a long snout and brown, shaggy fur. The woman looked towards him with a sneer, her face set in determination, black eyes searching the boat for something. He recognized her as the woman from the bar who had made Emiko _very_ nervous.

"Get back!" the woman cried with the crack of a black whip. "We're after a stowaway." Her voice commanded to be heard, to be obeyed. But her attire said _stay away_. The only color on her was a circular red tattoo on her shoulder and similarly colored lips.

But what really got to him, besides her scary clothing, was what she said. "There are no stowaways on my ship!" He knew everything that went on in this ship, and there was no way that—

Emiko pushed up next to Zuko, holding his arm to her chest. He flushed and looked down to see his bicep between her breasts. "Jun!" Emiko shouted, looking as though she had a bad taste in her mouth. "We'll do a search of the ship, don't do anything drastic!"

Zuko turned to the girl—whom, he realized, could have been considered the stowaway—and said, "Get her off of my ship before she does any damage." He was still distracted by her soft tunic and the way her eyes shined and how he never wanted her to let go of that arm again—

Emiko’s face paled and she held him a little tighter. He realized that she’d positioned him between her and Jun. _She’s scared._ "I'm not going anywhere near that beast. If Jun says there's a stowaway on the ship, then she's right. That Shirshu can smell a fugitive three continents away. Dead or alive. So just do a search real quick before she tears a hole in your ship!"

Zuko sent a dozen men searching his cargo hold. 

"Hey, Red," Jun said with a bared-teethed smile. "Don't worry, I'm not after you. Find me the man directly under where I'm sitting and bring him here and I'll try not to destroy your little toy ship, 'kay?"

"There's no one on this ship," Zuko sneered. "I don't know why you think it's necessary to—"

Lieutenant Jee abruptly came up from under the deck and threw a scrawny, dark skinned man out onto the deck. The giant Shirshu whipped the back of the stowaway's neck with a tongue that had something that looked like spines on the tip. He fell and didn’t move a muscle, but Zuko could see the man’s eyes looking around, panicked.

"He's paralyzed!"

Emiko’s grasp tightened on his arm. "Oh yeah, and he will be for a while."

Jun gave a fake pout and hopped off of the beast to collect the man on the ground. "Aw, Emiko, he was just saying _hello_."

Emiko clenched a fist and said, "Sure, if 'hello' means, _'Hello, let me take you to Commander Zhao for the bounty. Oh, and, by the way, you're_ paralyzed _!'_ "

Jun rolled her eyes. "Don't take it personally. The paralysis is only temporary. Takes about an hour to wear off. But by then, he'll be in jail and I'll have my money. And look at you, you're no worse for wear." She picked the man up and threw him over the back of her beast's saddle. Emiko had called it a Shirshu.

Zuko didn’t like feeling at a loss. So he ordered the woman off his ship. The woman shrugged and said, "You don't have to tell me twice." With a small leap, the animal was off of his ship and the bounty hunter was running away to collect a bounty.

Emiko instantly deflated next to him. When he looked at her, he saw that she was pale and shaking a little. She pulled away and he really missed the warmth of her next to him. "Thank the spirits she's gone."

He couldn't help but ask, "Are you okay?"

She looked up at him with a little hope and a little wariness. She girl ran a hand through her hair and looked towards where beast and its master had disappeared. "That is one bounty hunter that I do not want to mess with. She's the only one I’ve been able to strike a deal with but I don’t trust _any_ bounty hunter when I know the price on my head. That beast is wickedly fast. Even without it, she is a master at hand-to-hand and she kicked my ass. And that whip stings." She started rubbing her wrist.

He saw that she had a little scar around her wrist and all up her arm that he'd never noticed. From a whip, obviously. He unconsciously found himself grabbing her wrist and inspecting it. What he hadn't expected was to find it so soft, like the skin of her neck as he sucked on her pulse—

Zuko snapped out of it when she pulled her arm away from him. She had a slight blush on her cheeks. He felt like the world needed to swallow him whole. So Zuko did the thing he always did when he was uncomfortable in a situation…he snapped. "Go and see if that stowaway left any damage in my hold!"

She balked but didn't say anything, instead turning on her heel and almost running away. He couldn't blame her. He was sure that his mood swings would have scared him off as well.

Zuko was just glad that there wasn't any damage on the outside of his ship. Still, there never should have been a stowaway! If Zuko hadn’t been able to find the man, but that beast had…

Suddenly, the prince an idea. He raced to find his uncle, _and_ Emiko…after he let the blush fade from his face. She was coming on this excursion.

* * *

**Jun**

Jun leaned back in the grungiest bar in town and relaxed. There was nothing to do at that moment—no bounty to collect or man to break. She didn't get this moment often, not that she wanted it as such, but it was nice just to sit back and take in the smell of dirty, sweating males and drink her brains out.

"Any news, Ilka?" she asked the bar wench. Ilka was in her fifties and had been a pretty good source of income for Jun.

The old woman just shook her grey locks and spit in a cup before she shined it. "None, sugar. Unless you're one for going after Prince Zuko, his uncle, and his girlfriend."

Jun laughed out loud at that statement. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen." She knew how much was on those three's heads and it could set her for life. Unfortunately, she also knew how dangerous it could be and she wasn't one to needlessly risk her life. Red, a great fighter herself, backed by the Prince of the Fire Nation, the Dragon of the West, and thirty Fire Nation soldiers? Not a risk she was willing to take.

Also, only the Earth Kingdom wanted the prince and the general. The Fire Nation wanted Red. And Jun didn’t know if she wanted to cross those lines.

She _had_ risked boarding the boy's ship, which was funny. He was kind of cute when he got riled up. Emiko had just sat back, obviously not wanting to open old wounds. She was smart in a young kid kind of way. The Dragon of the West hadn't shown his face. _Probably not really some war hero. Just a coward. Pity, I like a fight._

" _Out of my way!_ " a loud, husky voice said. Jun thought she knew it but was too preoccupied with chatting with Ilka. When a man grabbed her arm, she really paid attention—no one grabbed her like that and stayed conscious long enough to remember it.

It was that guy. Red's boyfriend. An older man, probably the Dragon of the West ( _pssh, what a waste. Just an old man)_ was next to the prince and Red wasn't far behind.

"You," Zuko said with a glare in his eyes, "you are going to do me a favor."

Red came between them and put a hand on Zuko's arm. "Let her go, Zuko. We're here to negotiate, not cause a scene."

The prince looked around to see that half of the bar had stopped what they were doing—this was a frequent stop of hers and most of the people in there were her allies. While some wouldn't mind to tear her a new one, they would rather do it themselves and not have some stuck up prince do it for them.

Zuko huffed and let Jun go. She hadn't taken her glare off of his stupid face. "Touch me like that again and you won't be able to have children, Princey."

"Jun," a big, burly man behind Red suddenly said. He placed a chunky hand on Red’s shoulder. The young girl stiffened and gave out a small squeak of surprise. "You need any help?" Another flanked her other side, this one scrawnier.

"Not right now, Buck," Jun sighed, stepping back to get a little more room between her and the small group that had surrounded her. While nothing got under her skin, she didn't enjoy being closed in. At least, it wasn't her favorite. "But thanks. You too, Shol." The last was directed at the scrawny man.

Ilka, behind her, was prepared to fight. "I got this, Ilka." Jun turned back to Zuko and said, "Look, this circus show needs to end. I'm not doing you any _favors,_ Princy. If anything, I did you a favor when I didn't take your ugly ass in for its bounty. So either get out of my face or I'll destroy yours."

"This is an offer you don't want to refuse."

Red stood in between them, looking like a deer-duck caught in a firebender's blast. “L-let’s take this outside for a bit, hmm? Some fresh air might be good.”

Jun didn’t need to hear that again. She slammed back her drink and pushed up from the bar, making finger guns at the exit to get them all to follow her. A glance back saw that Red and her boyfriend were talking animatedly to one another, making googly eyes.

She'd been right about those two being so wound up that _she_ was frustrated. She just wondered if she could knock some sense into the girl and just jump that poor boy already.

When they got outside, Zuko held out something in his hands—now completely ignoring Emiko, a slightly pained look in his eyes—and Jun noticed that the thing he was holding was a betrothal necklace. Definitely outdated. The Fire Nation and Earth Kingdoms gave hand jewelry, rather than necklaces.

Jun pulled in air through her teeth and said, "Wife run away? Tough luck, bub." Red’s face scrunched up in confusion. Obviously, the prince hadn’t told her everything.

He completely ignored the question. "It's not the girl I'm after, it's the bald monk she's traveling with."

 _Bald monk? What in the Abyss?_ "Whatever you say. What's the pay?"

"Consider your services a donation to the crown prince for giving you a bounty this morning."

"Forget it!" Jun spat, shoving away from him again when he tried to grab her once more. "I don't work for free and I'm done talking to you." She tried to walk away, but the creepy old man spoke up and said something that sparked her interest.

"Plus we'll pay your weight in gold!"

This made her stop, a small smile on her face. She didn't weigh much, but money talked. She smiled, turned around, and poked the man right in his flabby stomach. "Make it _your_ weight in gold and we got a deal."

* * *

**Emiko**

Someone, somewhere, wanted me to spontaneously combust. Zuko and I were riding an eel hound. I was positioned on Zuko's lap and he sat right behind me, arms around me to drive the beast. I could feel the hard muscles underneath the sleeves on his arms. It was way too intimate for the amount of talking we’d done in the last few days. Which was none.

The thought made me shift in my seat—which was Zuko's lap. He put both hands on my hips and gave me a look that meant business. His eyes were that same dark topaz that I had seen a few times now. He looked at me like he wanted to devour me.

And _that_ was what we did for almost ten hours straight. When we sped up, Zuko’s hand splayed on my stomach to hold me closer. When he spoke, his breath tickled my ear. His heat radiated from behind me. All in all, it was some form of terrible sexual torture.

We stopped by at least three towns, each with the same intel—the avatar had passed through, but hadn't been there long. The longest he'd been anywhere had been in a town with an old fortune teller named Aunt Wu and, no matter how much Iroh wanted to flirt with the old woman, we had to leave. It was getting dark.

We didn't travel for much longer until Jun pulled the Shirshu up into a small clearing. When she got off, Zuko was less than pleased. "Why are we stopping again?" he asked, his arm still around my waist. "Is the Avatar close by?"

"No," Jun deadpanned. She started unpacking her beast and setting up camp. "We've been traveling all day. My beast needs a break and I want food. We're camping here for the night."

"We can't stop now, the fugitive might get away!”

I leaned back and turned to look at him. "We won't get very far when we do find him if we're exhausted. The best needs rest, too, or its poison isn't as effective. Let's just rest for the night. Okay?"

He thought for a moment before nodding, obviously upset but not willing to pursue the matter further. I slid off the eelhound we rode and started unpacking. Iroh was humming pleasantly and Zuko eventually wandered away to gather firewood. It was surprising that Zuko had finally taken my advice. Not even an argument. He’d just…agreed.

"Is that a smile I see?" Iroh asked.

I touched my cheeks, not realizing they ached from smiling. "We just have a promising lead," I lied. "That's all."

He nodded and looked as though he didn't believe me. "It seems as though things are going well between you and Zuko."

Iroh could see straight through me. _Definitely need to change this conversation._ I unpacked my overnight clothes and shrugged. "Guess so.”

He looked very concerned with me. Then, he was hovering for a while. When I asked him what was wrong, his words chilled me to the bone. “I hear that you may have other attachments…please be careful with my nephew’s affections.”

“ _Attachments_?” I put down the cooking pot I’d been unloading and turned to look at Iroh. Rather than his normal caring face, he looked like he didn’t trust me anymore. That hurt more than anything. “Iroh…you should know more than anyone that I don’t have attachments.” I’d trusted him with so much information about who I was…where did he get off questioning that?

“While we were at the stronghold, I met Admiral Zhao’s daughter.” I was thankful he didn’t mention that she was my sister, or that she was his _other_ daughter.

“Jasmine,” I muttered, cursing her to Koh’s lair and then back so I could kill her again. She could have said anything, true or not true. But if my father had given my hand away, like he’d mentioned the last time I saw him…that was _rough_.

Iroh nodded. “She mentioned that her sister was engaged to a man named Isamu. I am enjoying seeing my nephew warm up to you and spend time with someone his own age, but do not toy with his heart if you are taken.”

I clenched my teeth, too frustrated and hurt to try and explain myself to him. I didn’t have to, anyway. “Well, you know me, just some wonton _whore_.”

His face crumbled in shock. “Emiko, that is not what I—”

I waved a hand at him. “I understand that you are only looking out for your nephew, but that was the most insensitive thing you’ve ever said to me.” I shrugged him off as he tried to come near and place a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t bother. I’m going to wash up before dinner.”

The panic and sorrow in his eyes was apparent, but I didn’t care. I was angry. “It may be dangerous. Please take Zuko.”

I rolled my eyes and went without the prince. I didn't need Zuko staring over my shoulder as I washed. Just thinking about that made me let out a whine that was a little embarrassing. I’d never gotten that man’s shirt off, but that _and_ being pressed up against him, all hot and wet… My core throbbed in frustration, telling me to take care of the pressure that was building. I had to get rid of those thoughts—he was so distracting, and I didn’t know if the confrontation would be worth it when we had to discuss the situation.

My mind was running through terrible anxious scenarios until my toes hit cool water. The pond was barely waist-deep, I found as I slid into it a few moments later. Still with breast-wrap and underwear on, I waded in and washed with the small bit of fire lily soap I'd bought from one of our stops. It was nice not to have to ask permission just to take a shower. Iroh was so nice in offering me his private bathroom…but I was angry with him. _So thanks but no thanks, asshole._

He wasn’t an asshole. In fact, he was one of the nicest men I’d ever met. I knew that he was only looking out for Zuko. That didn’t make his accusation hurt any less. He thought that I had willingly given myself to someone that worked for my father? If he’d just thought for a moment longer, he would have realized that I had no say in _anything_ in my life. This situation was my father taking control of my life once more. And even Jasmine had had no compassion for me.

I was truly alone.

I dipped my hair in the water and lathered it up. The smells distracted me and told me to take a deep breath and get out of my head. Being girly every so often with fancy-smelling soaps made me feel feminine. I wasn't feminine at all. But the way Zuko had looked at me that day I'd put on makeup and done my hair and worn that dress...

_Maybe…maybe I’m not alone._

I couldn’t get my hopes up. No way in Koh’s lair I’d ever get to have a relationship with someone like him. I wasn't his type. And even though I was technically a noblewoman, I had to remember that as soon as Zuko got his throne back, I wouldn't be in any kind of running to win him over. Wanted posters in the last few ports reminded me of that fact. That, and…the whole spirit thing Iroh mentioned, just put the cherry on the cheese tart. At the minimum, I was owed to the fire sages, and _also_ I was apparently engaged to _Isamu_ of all people. 

I was nothing but an outlaw, on the run from the Fire Nation. And I couldn’t afford the distractions.

A shiver ran through my back, not of the good kind. I didn't want to catch cold so I made my way back onto shore. I took my shirt and squeezed my hair with it. I didn't want it to be soaking wet when I went to bed.

As I was pulling on my pants, foregoing a shirt since it was soaked, I heard footsteps coming my way. _Fuck, Iroh kind of was right. I have no clue if I’m safe out here._ I hid behind a large tree and listened for them again. The person didn't seem to be trying to sneak but I was going to be cautious anyway. _Oh, it’s Zuko._

He walked into the small clearing near the pond. I released a breath and relaxed a little—no pirate to abduct me this time. I started to speak up but he took off his shirt and then I was just tongue-tied. His skin was completely flawless up his back, lean muscles rippling underneath it as he stretched.

 _It's wrong to watch,_ I thought, but I couldn't stop. He pulled out his ponytail and let the long hair flow gently down his back. Then he laid his shirt down on the ground and knelt on top of it. I noticed that he'd brought shaving cream and a small razor—probably shaving off the new growth of hair on his head.

"You know," his voice echoed across the clearing, making me jump, "it isn't very polite to watch a man undress."

I gave a small, sheepish squeak before words actually were able to come out of my mouth. "Sorry, I was just leaving!"

"Stay. The least you can do is help me." He hadn't turned to look at me, so I wondered how he'd known I was there. _Maybe he watched **me** ,_ came an absurd thought. I shook my head and scoffed. He wouldn't do that—he’d been avoiding me for days!

"Why do you need my help?” I asked as I came closer and stood behind him. His hands rested on top of his thighs as he stared out onto the water.

"No mirror," he replied.

Zuko's hair was soft under my palms. I gently combed through it with my fingers, ignoring the intricate comb that he'd given me to use. I couldn't let this opportunity go to waste. He'd probably never let me touch him like that again.

I took the shaving cream he'd told me to use and gently spread it on the sides of his head. "Why don't you grow it out?" I asked.

"I can't," he said softly. His hands were clenched against his thighs. "I can't wear the full topknot until my honor is restored."

I started pulling the blade softly against his scalp, hoping not to cut him. I was at a loss—I didn’t want the avatar to be in the hands of the Fire Nation. But I'd started falling for this young man who tried so hard to be something his father wanted. I was starting to wonder if _I_ wanted Zuko to be that something. This Zuko was so passionate but so hurt, and I just wanted to fix it. In order for him to get fixed, though, he had to capture poor, sweet, innocent Aang. And then the Fire Nation would rule the world.

At that moment, though, I was fixing his hair. Those other thoughts would have to be for later. I was done with over half of his head, trying to be extremely careful. "I think it would look good on you," I shrugged. "I look forward to seeing it."

He laughed in a sad way, making me nervous. He could have jerked and made me cut him. " _If_ I restore my honor.”

I sighed and shaved the last of the stubble on his head. "You will, Zuko. I don't doubt it." I tilted his head back and planted a little kiss on his forehead. He startled, his eyes widening. A slight blush appeared on his high cheekbones.

I ran the comb through his hair a few times before handing it back to him. The entire interaction had been so intimate, and now I just felt awkward. Between being called a whore by Iroh, and knowing he didn’t agree with the situation, I was feeling deflated about our… _relationship_?

"I'll, ah...I'll head back, then." I made to leave but Zuko put a hand on my arm.

"Wait." A small, genuine smile appeared on his handsome face. "Let me return the favor."

I rolled my lower lip in and gnawed on it for a second. Spending more time with Zuko, alone, half-dressed, sounded like a bad idea. A great idea, mind you, but also a really terrible one. Still, I nodded and sat cross-legged on the same shirt that he had knelt on. His pale skin moved around me until I couldn't see him anymore.

Surprisingly gentle fingers started to comb at the bottom of my hair, trailing upward. He picked up the comb not long after that. I was surprised that he even knew how to comb hair properly—I'd been ready for an agonizing few minutes of him pulling my hair out. Instead, he used exquisite care. It was actually incredibly calming.

It was a comfortable silence, but one question was bugging the Koh out of me. "Where did you learn to comb hair? Ah!"

He'd hit a snag. "Sorry." He slowly worked that knot out before he continued on as if nothing had happened. "I spent a lot of time with my mother when I was younger. Just her and me. I didn't mind helping her with her hair if it meant I could have more time with her."

This Zuko made me have whiplash. I wasn't sure if he was the angst-filled monster always hunting for the avatar or the extremely kind, sensitive man I'd come to know. Like in that moment—I would have never expected that he used to comb his mother's hair for her.

"Your hair's thicker," he said softly, his fingers scratching along the nape of my neck and into my scalp, making me shiver. "And longer." I almost missed the next part. "I like it."

"Me, too," I said cheekily. He tugged on my hair, pulling me back and up against him. I gasped a little too breathily because _fuck_ if a little hair pulling didn’t turn me on. His bare chest was _right there_ and his face was right next to mine. "Hey!"

"Don't ruin this by talking," he said in a light tone. I should have jokingly pushed him away. Instead, I flushed. My brain told me to run, that this man was being too nice and he wanted something from me. I wanted something too, though, and told it to shut up. My hips pushed back against him and I knew that we both wanted the same thing. He groaned against my cheek, running his nose along my cheekbone and rocking into me from behind. “Emiko…”

His hand tightened on my scalp and used its position to bare my jaw to nips and kisses and a hot tongue. A surprising _yes_ slipped out from between my lips. He pushed back against my hips, a large bulge pushing between my ass cheeks. I gasped and threw my head back onto his shoulder when he pulled me higher and his erection brushed against my aching core.

One hand tangled up in my hair as he pulled me around to face him. The other hand settled hotly on my lower back and he pulled me closer, up to my knees. His chest, perfect and bare under my hands, was not left untouched as I mapped out every inch of his body. It was one thing to see it in practice, or even stand next to it. It was another to feel his skin under my fingertips.

I took note of what made him responsive. His sides were sensitive, but not sexually. Dragging my fingernails down his back, however, made him make noises that drenched my panties. My nipples pebbled against his chest through the cloth of my binder top that was suddenly too restrictive.

His tongue darted against my lips just as his hand moved down to squeeze my butt, making me gasp. He used the opportunity to kiss me deeper, exploring my mouth with long, hot strokes that left me breathless. I met him back with just as much gusto. Kissing Zuko was an experience I wanted to drown in. He was gentle but firm, hot and sweet, devastating and _mine_.

I pulled back to gasp for air but he apparently didn’t need to breathe. He drug his lips down my neck and harshly sucked at the skin between it and my shoulder. He pulled hard, leaving a mark and causing warmth to trickle from my core. Both hands were on my ass then, squeezing and pulling me to where I was sitting fully supported on his lap as he knelt. He wasn't even directing me anymore—the friction as I ground myself against him was sublime.

“Zuko,” I groaned, throwing my head back as I sought pleasure from his lap. 

He groaned against my neck and nipped at my earlobe. “Say it again.”

“Wha—” He thrust against me and I gasped, losing my train of thought.

“ _Say my name again_.”

“ _Zuko_.” He tangled his fingers in my hair again and pulled me back to his lips, devouring me like a man dying of thirst. I drug my nails down his back and then the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back with a beautiful man made of muscle hovering over me. He positioned me to where I was laying on his shirt, one forearm supporting him and his lips exploring down my neck and lower, his other hand coming up under my breast.

His thumb grazed an already painfully-erect nipple as his lips kissed along the bare flesh above my binder. I bucked my hips up from the ground into his, hooking my leg around his thigh to find purchase and rub against him. My core pulsed and ached around nothing, trying to pull something in to fill it.

The hand on my breast moved and brought my breast to his wandering lips. He nipped at my nipple through the fabric and I let out a high-pitched gasp that—

"Emiko, are you alright out there?" _Iroh!!_

I clung to Zuko for dear life. His body had gone rigid above me and we stared at each other in shock. " _Say something_ ," the prince growled harshly, still out of breath.

"Y-yeah, Iroh!" I squeaked before I cleared my throat. "I'm fine! Just combing my hair!"

"Don't be too long," he said sternly from quite a distance away. "Did you take Zuko with you?”

"No!” I shouted, wiggling my way out of his grasp. I scrambled to find an excuse, cursing under my breath as my nipples brushed against his chest. “He…he's getting more firewood!” I pulled Zuko up and threw his shirt at him, pushing him away from the clearing and whispering, "Go get some firewood!"

He stopped me and pulled me in for another kiss. I lost my breath for a moment, getting lost in his soft embrace, but he pulled away. He looked me directly in the eye and said, “Emiko, this wasn’t…we need to talk. Soon.”

Already flushed, I nodded and bit my lip. He squeezed my hand and ran off into the forest. I stared after his ass and released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

I was in trouble.

* * *

**Emiko**

"We're getting close," Jun said as we neared what looked to be some kind of spiritual abbey. The forest around us was thick and dense, the smell of dirt permeating the air.

I turned to look up at Zuko. He pulled our eel-hound to the side. “Are they in the compound, or near?”

“Directly on the opposite side from us, if I had to guess.” Jun nodded her head to the left, where a path stood out from the forest. “I’ll take this way. Just the monk, right?”

Zuko nodded and pulled the eel-hound to the right, where another path wound around the abbey. “We’ll corner them behind the compound. Watch out for the girl, she’s a decent waterbender. Her brother isn’t a bender, but he’s strong. And the monk is…wily.”

Jun nodded. I noticed that Zuko never told her that Aang was the avatar. She’d find out soon enough, I figured. 

Zuko wrapped his arms tighter around me as the eel hound took off in a sprint that bounced me just a _little_ too much. I bit my lip to keep from grinding my butt into his hips. The episode last night had been extremely arousing and had dissipated any hopes of sleeping for that night. He seemed to be feeling the same, because his hand splayed low on my hips and abdomen and dipped close to my core, caressing me.

“We have a lot to talk about, huh?” I asked breathlessly.

“We do,” he breathed. I felt him shudder behind me as his nose traced my ear. “Right now, though, I need to concentrate. You’re…distracting.” His hand pushed between my thighs, two fingers caressed my mound.

“You’re no better,” I said, grasping his wrist, my body arching to try and get that contact again.

He squeezed my thigh and cursed. “You’re right.” He cleared his throat and sat back a little from me, taking a deep breath. I knew exactly what he was going through right then. I had to shake my head a few times and slap my cheeks. “Time to plan. I need you to distract the Water Tribe boy. If you feel up to it, I may even give you the girl to fight.”

The change of topic confused the hell out of me. My body and mind were a little out of sync. “Wait, you want me to fight with you?”

“What _else_ have I been training you for?” he asked. He slowed the eel hound instead and pressed a warning into my side. We were close. “Put those new firebending skills to good use.”

Well, he hadn’t exactly been _training_ me the last week or two. I didn’t bother saying that, though. We whispered a few more moments about the game plan until we came to an understanding.

I dropped off the eel hound and let Zuko move further ahead. I wasn’t sure where Jun was yet, but if we could get more angles on them, we would have more of a chance at victory.

Zuko was far out of my sight by the time I found a man kneeling in some brush, reading a map. “Uh…hello?”

The man jumped up, map held protectively to his chest, and pointed what looked like a boomerang at me. “Whoa, there, you can’t just go sneaking up on a guy like that!”

My hands shot up. “Don’t attack!”

He was _really_ handsome. Tanned skin along thick, roping muscles that disappeared into a style of clothing I’d never seen before. Mostly white and blue, it complimented his skin tone well. Bright blue eyes softened at seeing who I was. His lips smirked a little too self-assuredly when he saw my appraisal of him. I didn’t think I’d ever seen eyes that color before.

“Well, _hello_ there. Who are you?” He crossed his arms over his chest and his biceps bulged. This man was _ripped_. Even more so than Zuko. Zuko was leaner, whereas this guy—who was probably around the same age, if I had to guess—was bulky. “Are you lost?”

I shook my head. _Is this enough for a distraction, Zuko?_ “Uh…no. Just looking for someone.”

“If you’re looking for the avatar, you just missed him.” The man’s voice was _extremely_ bitter for some reason. He threw his arms down in disgust.

I had never felt more awkward in my life. Zuko had left me here on some kind of mission to distract this guy with, what, my feminine wiles? I was a fish out of water, here! _Come on, Emiko, you haven’t been out of civilized society so long that you’ve forgotten how to make small talk!_ “Uh…sounds like he did something to piss you off. What happened?”

“He just…ugh, it’s stupid.” He ran a hand through his bangs. His hair was half up and half down, framing a handsome jawline. “Nothing to worry your head about, though. I’m Sokka. Who’re you?”

I held a hand out to him. “Emiko.”

His tanned hand contrasted comically with mine. It was solid and warm and engulfed mine completely. Koh, he was like twenty feet tall, too! He leaned over me, white teeth shining as he smiled, displaying a dimple in one of his cheeks. “Nice to meet you, Emiko. What’s a girl like you doing in a forest like this?” Something about him was suave and charming, trying to get me to drop my defenses. 

My face was on fire. When Zuko asked for a distraction, I was sure that _this_ wasn’t what he had had in mind. I figured I’d be fighting this guy, not _flirting_ with him. “Uh…long story!” Too long of a story for how tongue-tied he was making me. He even smelled great, like soap and man and…jerky?

“Try me.” His face fell. That easy-going look disappeared and I saw someone really intelligent behind that façade. 

When I tried to pull my hand away, he kept a firm hold of it. I blanched, fear creeping up my throat. “Just trying to help out a friend.”

Sokka did a once-over of me. I was wearing a black tunic today, something simple and easy to move in. His eyes caught on my necklace and they widened—had I worn something with an insignia that day? “You’re Fire Nation!” _Yup, apparently._

“Nope, nope, hold on, now!” I tried to pull away but he shifted his hold to get a better grip on my entire arm. He pushed me up against the nearest tree, twisting my arm behind my back. “Ow! Hey, wait!”

“Katara,” Sokka’s voice shouted through the forest, “we’ve _really_ gotta go!”

“Dude, let me go before I do something I don’t wanna,” I whined. “I’m not here to hurt you, or your sister, or the avatar!”

It was the truth—I didn’t want Zuko to have the avatar for the same reason I hadn’t wanted my father to have him. Somehow, Zuko had done something to keep Zhao from sending the avatar back to the mainland. That, alone, resolved my hope that Zuko could be helped.

But for now, he needed a little push.

Sokka’s body barricaded up against mine. My fight or flight instinct pushed heat into my hands, threatening to burn down the entire forest to get him to stop touching me. “You’re here to take Aang, don’t even bother!”

I groaned and grabbed a free bit of cloth I could reach on his body. Then, I set it on fire. He yelped and jumped away from me to beat his clothes out. I moved to stand as far away from him as I could while still being close enough to chase, if I had to. 

“I’m _not_ ,” I growled in a whisper, “but your racist ass can’t even look pass my nationality to wonder if you should assault me! If you stopped for a moment, maybe you’d see that I was here to _fucking help you!_ ”

Sokka’s jaw literally fell in astonishment. He stared at me a moment before a rustle in the bushes behind him made us both turn to look. A beautiful woman was standing there, dark skin and curves everywhere. It wasn’t fair that these two got the beautiful end of a gene pool! Her skirt had slits on both sides up to her hip, showing off long legs that I only wished I could have.

“Sokka, are you okay?” The woman, obviously Katara, rushed over to him and fluttered her hands around him, checking for injuries. Then her hauntingly stunning blue eyes were on me. Thick, glossy lips pursed as she narrowed those eyes. “Who is this?”

“I’m a friend,” I said before Sokka could inform his sister of the last few minutes. “Kind of. Consider this a warning—I’m here with Prince Zuko.”

Sokka’s boomerang was in my face again. “I knew it! And, you’re a firebender!”

I rolled my eyes. “If you’d let me finish, I’m here to warn you. Get the avatar and get out of here. Zuko’s hired a bounty hunter that’s really scary. Her beast will paralyze you and you won’t be able to do anything about it. It can smell you half a continent away. And Jun is scary, too. I’ve seen her kill a man in one stroke of her whip. They’re searching these woods as we speak.” I heard rustling and I got really worried. “I can’t let him see me helping you, so if he comes back, we have to fight. Sorry ahead of time for that.”

An explosion came from the abbey. A roar of a giant beast rumbled the ground. 

Katara looked at her brother and shouted, “That was Appa! Come on, we’ve gotta go!”

Sokka turned to look at me. “You…fuck, come on!” He motioned for me to join them. I cursed and ran after them. Sadly, my cardio was not up to snuff. I fell behind but I told them to continue on without me. Zuko had obviously already found the avatar. That’s why screams and blasts of air and fire were shooting out of the abbey. 

I screeched to a halt right inside the back gate of the compound. Zuko and Aang were fighting around the rim of a well. Katara and Sokka were fighting Jun, on the Shirshu. Iroh…I couldn’t see Iroh anywhere. 

Sokka threw a boomerang in Zuko’s direction. I shot it out of the sky with a blast of fire. The Water Tribe boy turned to look at me and nodded, obviously realizing that I had to keep up appearances.

I got my first look at the avatar as he and Zuko fought. He was tall and lanky. Pale, with blue arrows on his head, hands, and what I could see of his feet. The way he moved was unlike anything I’d seen before, but I definitely saw what Iroh meant by his fighting style. He was all defense, waiting for his opponent to wear themselves out by attacking.

Out of breath from running, it took me a second to have enough energy to firebend. I took the time to watch how Zuko fought outside of practice, and how his enemies fought as well. Zuko was _strong_ and fast, using every technique I’d ever seen him use to try and fight the avatar. Katara’s water whips were small but effective—she wasn’t a master yet. Sokka was the most adept fighter I’d seen, even for a non-bender, as he took out a sword and went toe-to-toe against Jun’s whip.

Finally, I could breathe without my lungs aching. I timed a shot to knock Aang off-balance. He turned in surprise and his eyes widened when they saw me. He hadn’t been expecting backup, not that I was much. He dodged it and then turned to dodge another fire blast from Zuko.

I took steps forward and shot bursts of fire that kept the avatar between us. I didn’t want to hurt him; I also didn’t want to accidentally hit Zuko. My shots essentially corralled him between the two of us and the east wall of the abbey. As I edged closer, the avatar panicked. A fan opened on the end of his staff. 

The next thing I knew, I was flying across the abbey with a gust of wind from the last airbender carrying me. My head cracked against something solid and I collapsed to the ground. Then, something cold and disgustingly perfume-y washed over my body.

When he’d thrown me across the abbey, Aang had knocked me into a vat full of perfume. The sisters at the abbey made and sold it to keep up profits, I learned later. Aang and his friends ended up using it to fuck with the Shirshu’s sense of smell. 

Iroh told me what was happening much later. He also told me that I had one hell of a concussion. I remembered everything by hearsay from him because I honestly didn’t remember a single thing that happened between getting knocked into concrete storage barrels and sitting with him in the medical bay.

Once again, the avatar and his friends got away. The world was safe another day from the Fire Nation. Zuko was, once again, empty handed. And he treated his loss the way he always did—by hiding away in his room for most of the night, berating himself.

I hated the part that I had in hurting him, but I had to do it. His destiny wasn’t to capture the avatar…the avatar’s destiny was to stop the Fire Nation. Zuko eventually had to pick a side. 

I did. I chose _not_ the Fire Nation…but I also chose Zuko. I didn’t know how that would work just yet. But I’d figure it out.

“This ginger tea should help with any nausea,” Iroh said, handing a cup to me. I took it and didn’t meet his eyes. “And here is a pain powder. Put it under your tongue. That should help if your head is bothering you.”

Cracking my entire body on concrete _had_ actually hurt a bit. “Thank you.”

“I wanted to say…I am sorry, for before.” Iroh’s face, when I finally looked at him, was sincere. “I was inconsiderate. You have given me no reason not to trust you, and…you have been through enough without me adding to it.”

My stomach was twisting from more than just nausea. “I…I know you were looking out for your nephew. I would hope someone would do the same, if it were me.”

Iroh’s hand landed on mine, next to me on the medical bed. “I will try and look out for you more, too. You deserve kindness in your life.” 

I tried to blame the pain medicine for the tears that formed in my eyes. In reality, they were for the lies I’d had to tell to get to this point. I’d been so open with Iroh, but I couldn’t trust his nephew. Even if I was having some kind of dalliance with him one moment, and the next betraying him to the people he was hunting. What did that make me?

Someone who deserved _kindness_?


	12. A date, then?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko and Emiko finally have a real conversation, and fluff ensues.
> 
> Warnings: a cute couple being disgustingly adorable

**Zuko**

Emiko's room was rather small, but filled to the brim with books, maps, and strange devices. Iroh had gone crazy stocking this girl’s room. A small bed was pushed in the back corner, neatly made and piled with an inordinate amount of pillows. There was no closet, so her clothes were hanging neatly on a stand against the far wall, a chest of drawers beneath that. Nothing was out of place—her room was immaculate.

Whereas Zuko’s room was sparsely decorated with Fire Nation memorabilia, hers was decorated with maps of different areas of the world and wanted posters that didn't look familiar to him. The maps had red strings attached to needles which pointed to each area the avatar had been to. Next to those were blue strings where Zuko pointedly remembered Zhao being.

Multiple tracking instruments laid on her desk and hung from hangers on the walls. Scrolls laid open on the desk, some that she must have borrowed from Iroh. On some of the maps, small notes punctuated information about the location with a needle.

He glanced at the note hovering next to Kyoshi Island's needle. _'Kyoshi Island—home to the avatar’s past life, Avatar Kyoshi. Also, giant koi fish are fun to ride.'_

Zuko frowned. Why would the avatar want to ride giant koi fish? That was just stupid! Another note was in a town he’d stopped at previously, mentioning the Fire Nation presence. Then, the notes were along the route the ship had been on for the past few months. 

Zuko carefully put everything back and made his way over to her desk. On it sat one lone candle, a picture, and incense in front of it. The woman in the picture was magnificent, a glint of confidence in her eye that would attract anyone. Even though it was a bust shot she looked tall. Her face was thin, with bright eyes and a sly smile that could chill and empower someone. He guessed that this woman was Emiko's mother. They had the same bright eyes and confident smirk.

He lit the incense in front of her picture and bowed to it. A small shrine such as this wasn't usually made unless the person was dead. He knew what it meant to lose a mother.

The door behind him opened and a small gasp came from the woman who'd been stuck in his head for weeks. She was wearing a thin pair of workout pants low on her hips, a sports binder up top. She was sweaty, like she'd just got done working out. Even though he’d been an absolute coward and had been avoiding her, she still kept up with her daily training.

Emiko blushed and covered her bare midriff. The scar there was large and angry, a stark red against her pale skin. He noticed that her feet were bare, too, and they were the tiniest, daintiest little feet he'd ever seen. "Oh, hi!”

“Hi.” They stared at each other for a moment. 

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. “Uh…what’s up?”

Spirits, this was just as awkward as he’d feared. He wanted to tell her that he wanted…well, her! And he had to figure out a way to say that without scaring her off. She obviously wanted him just as much, if that tryst back at the lake had meant anything. Or at least that’s what he _hoped_ it meant.

Instead of saying what he meant, though, he was an idiot and he changed the subject. "I just wanted to check on you after the mission. You did well—just have to watch out for the airbending master.”

She laughed awkwardly but sounded relieved at the change in topic. “I’m good now, thank you for checking on me. I won’t forget to try and disarm the staff, next time. That hurt like a bitch.”

Zuko didn’t know he was grinning until he felt his cheeks hurt a little. “I know how that feels.” She stood in the doorway, also smiling, but the question of _what-are-you-doing-here_ hung in the air. So, of course, he changed the subject again. “What’s all of this?" He gestured to the maps and her tracking of their progress.

"I like to know where I am,” she said. 

She came in and closed the door to her room before making her way over to a small chest of drawers underneath the clothing rack.. She started digging around in it. He almost missed the next thing she said because she’d bent over and he could see a shapely ass against those thin little pants.

"I like to keep my skills sharp, too. Navigation is one of my weak points, but Iroh’s helped me understand the science behind it. It’s pretty cool.”

She found a wrap top in the drawers and pulled it on. He frowned and missed the sight of her skin. Distracted, he said another thing incredibly stupid because he was _terrible_ with women. "That's good. We need more thinkers like you on board." 

_Koh, what kind of idiotic statement was that?_

She sat down on her bed. A comb was sitting on her nightstand and she picked it up to start pulling through her hair. Her bright yellow eyes looked straight through him. "It’s not every day that I find you waiting for me in my room, my prince. And my navigation skills aren't that interesting."

He turned his back to her and looked at the large world map taking up the entire wall next to her door. He looked at the blue strings that showed where Zhao had moved—some of the places _Zuko_ hadn't even known of. He picked up the note next to the Pohuai Stronghold. _'Zhao had the avatar and there was nothing I could do.'_

When he read it out loud and turned to look at her, Emiko looked on edge. Her hands were clenched against her own hair and the comb and she looked a little pale. "Zhao...will stop at nothing to get what he wants."

He remembered how she ran when Zhao’s henchmen had come to tell them to attend the Admiral’s “ceremony.” Another time, she’d yelled at Jun for trying to take her back to Zhao. Zuko was sure that any Fire Nation soldier would normally make her nervous, but Zhao brought out another reaction.

"He wants you." Emiko's hands were shaking but she nodded. "Why?"

"I don’t really know, I can only guess. He believes in the Fire Nation’s pursuit of perfection. The fire sages uphold that vision perfectly. If he could get in with them, he could get closer to the power he craves. He could never become the Fire Lord, of course, but Zuko…he wants his name written in the sky.”

Zuko was standing in front of her, then. He cupped her cheek and made her look up at him. So much pain was set in her eyes. “He’s hurt you.”

Emiko put her hand on top of his and leaned into his touch. Her eyes closed and she sighed and goodness if his tongue didn’t get stuck in his throat. “Undeniably.”

He knelt in front of her, grasping her hands. All he wanted to do was to help her gain her confidence again. What Zhao and others had done to her was cruel, almost as cruel as what had happened to him as a child. “I won’t let him hurt you again.”

She scoffed, averting glossy eyes. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, my prince.”

His lips kissed the back of one of her hands and held her gaze. Her pupils dilated when his lips touched her skin. “I don’t.”

He was blown away by her simple beauty. Even after a workout, she shone with an inner fire and a natural loveliness that took his breath away. 

Her face crumbled from hopeful to guarded. “Zuko…what are we _doing_?”

He cleared his throat—now was the time for that talk, no matter how much he’d been putting it off. He wanted to be with her, whatever that meant. So he said the first thing that came to his head.

“I… _think_ I’m trying to court you.”

Emiko’s lips rolled inwards. She gnawed on them for a moment, leaving his admission in silence that made him incredibly nervous. Had he read her wrong? Why wasn’t she saying anything? 

“Or…not?” This was exactly why he hadn’t wanted to discuss the situation in the first place!

“I don’t know,” she whispered, her face incredibly flushed. “Zuko…you have so much power over me. I don’t know if we could have a relationship because of that alone. You’re technically my boss, and you’re paying me…”

Fuck, she was right. He hadn’t even thought of that. How self-centered was he that all he could think about was her rejecting him? He knew that he was self-conscious about the way he looked, but he couldn’t believe how ignorant he’d been.

“A-and you’re a _prince_. I’m no commoner, but I _am_ outcast. An outlaw. I have absolutely no place in your world.”

His brows drew together before he could control them. _Not a commoner?_ With her skin and the way he’d seen her hold herself, he could have guessed that. But hearing her admit it was something else. And the title—he knew it granted him some power, but he was banished. He may as well have been some random fisherman in an Earth Kingdom town. So that threw him off.

“And…” She took a deep breath, averting her eyes. “Even if you just wanted me for sex, once this is over and you decide you don’t want me, I’m left with _nothing_.” Her voice was small at the end, like she was trying to have the sound take up less space. Just like she often did with her body, how she tried to hide with her shoulders hunched and her hair hanging in her face.

Zuko brushed a sheet of hair from her face and behind her shoulder. “Emiko, look at me.” His hand ran down her back before coming back between them.

Glassy eyes flickered to his, lower lip trembling. Fuck, all he wanted to do was wipe that vulnerability from her face. He wanted her to be able to trust something for the first time in her life. But he couldn’t promise her marriage and yellow-eyed babies, necessarily, even though the thought of filling her with his child was less abhorrent than it should have been. It actually made him flush, because picturing her grow with his child…

That train of thought was dangerous. Because it gave him hope that someday, he could have something like that. A woman who loved him. Who wanted to carry his children. Who didn’t just see him as the _banished prince_. But he was getting very, very far ahead of himself.

“I can’t promise what comes ten years from now, or that we’ll even enjoy each other’s company in a month. I just know that I like spending time with you. And…other things.” His voice lowered at the end. 

Her face lit up with pink and her eyes widened. “I’m not a _fling_ ,” she said, her jaw setting in a stubborn way that made him want to bite it and leave a mark. Leave a few marks down the column of that neck…

He caught himself from that train of thought, because she was right. “You’re not.” Did he want to do dirty things to her? Yes. But it was also more than that. “I genuinely enjoy your company.”

“A-and I’m not just the closest age-appropriate girl you could find?” She tried to put it off as a joke but insecurity bled into every word. “You’re beautiful, a _prince_ …I-I don’t get what you get out of this situation besides…a fling.” Her face flushed red, _fling_ obviously meaning the dirty things he wanted to do to her.

He blushed too, but not from scandalous thoughts. Instead, he was caught up on _beautiful._ He was awestruck that she felt that way. Then, he put his foot in his mouth, with, “I…I wondered the same thing. Not about the _fling_ thing, though—I mean—!” 

Zuko groaned and put his face in his hands. He didn’t think she’d only wanted him for his body! In fact, he only thought she kissed back out of…pity? Maybe because she thought he was pressuring her, and she didn’t know how to say no? Fuck, he didn’t know. Only in his wildest dreams was she kissing him back because she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Emiko’s silence was deafening. But, when he looked up at her, she was biting her lips to keep from laughing. Eventually a snort came out through her nose when she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “I mean…but _also_ the fling thing.” Her voice gained a breathy quality that made him blush even further, down to his toes. Her cheeks crinkled into her eyes. _She has a gorgeous smile._

He cleared his throat and held back an awkward laugh. “So…”

“Courting?” she asked, voice catching on the last syllable. He nodded. A wary smile formed on her lips. “Sounds very official.”

“It doesn’t have to be that!” His voice rose too much and he cursed himself. 

He was so fucking _awkward_ and he’d only ever really had a relationship with one woman, and she’d been the least of his worries after he’d been banished from the Fire Nation. A few women at ports here and there, and he’d learned what he liked. But he had no clue how to speak to a woman he wanted _more_ from. 

“I just want to see where this goes.” He punctuated that by squeezing her hands between his. “If you decide you don’t want to, that doesn’t mean I’m going to throw you off the ship or even stop training you. I meant what I promised. I just…” He ran a hand over his head. “Fuck, I’m messing this up I think.”

Hand now free, Emiko used it to grab his chin and pull him closer. Her lips landed on his cheek in a chaste kiss that left him more flustered than their first one had, and that was saying something. “I’m not good at this stuff either. I have some trust issues. Too many people have used me… _hurt_ me.”

“I’ll do my best to honor the trust that you give me,” he said sincerely. “I only ask that you do the same.”

“So…ground rules?” Her voice was hopeful and her eyes shined, her face so expectant that his throat was tight. He nodded. “We don’t tell anyone, to start.”

“What?” The thought hadn’t occurred to him, about how any of it would work. They couldn’t likely just stroll around the promenade and hold hands. That would fly over like more salted cuttlefish being loaded for rations.

“I don’t need to add ‘ship’s harlot’ to the other colorful names I’ve garnered from your crew.”

Anger shot through him and he wanted to go and hunt down whoever would say something like that. “Who’s been saying those things about you?”

Her look was incredulous. “I need you to really look at our stations again and tell me that you’re serious about understanding my misgivings about us. Your uncle, kind as he may be, hasn’t really given me a job. That means I’m a freeloader on a vessel that requires every man to do their job. _And_ he’s paying me for doing practically nothing? It’s criminal to even complain about how wonderfully you are treating me, but it really makes me look bad. And now, we’re courting? I will obviously be your on-ship _entertainment_ if we mention that we’re seeing each other. Your crew has every right to say those things about me. I’m not even pulling my own weight!”

The air left his lungs, like she’d punched him in the gut. There was absolutely nothing he could do to refute her. She was right, and he couldn’t change their stations. And he wouldn’t just use her and throw her away, even if his body begged for a woman’s touch, but she didn’t know if she could trust him. “You’re right. I…I’m sorry. I’ll go, then.” He stood up to leave, hand over his face in embarrassment.

“I…what? Zuko, wait!” She grabbed his arm and the next thing he knew, her arms were around his neck and she was kissing the daylights out of him.

He was shocked. This was the first time that she’d kissed _him_ first, and not the other way around. He descended into her arms, engulfing her in his own and leaning into her insistent lips. The way she felt and smelled, how she sounded, was even more a gift now that he knew she wanted to try out whatever this was, too.

When she pulled back, her lips were kissed pink and her cheeks were flushed. “I never said I didn’t want to court you…just that we shouldn’t tell the crew. Including Iroh. I don’t think he’ll approve.”

Iroh had been incredibly pushy when it came to Emiko. Ever since she arrived, he had forced the two of them together at every turn. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem. But I understand if you don’t want to tell him, either.” Then, a thought hit him. “Does me _hiding_ you…doesn’t that bother you?” Did it bother _him_? A little, actually.

She pulled down off of her tiptoes and laid her hands on his shoulders, rather than wrapping her arms around him. Her face was sad. “If this were a normal situation, yes. If you were just a boy, and I was just a girl…but we aren’t. I…dammit, Zuko, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to hurt you because of my stupid insecurities.”

He pressed her closer, his chin on the top of her head. He breathed in her comforting scent, tinged with a little sweat from her workout, and felt tension leave his body. When was the last time he’d hugged someone? “They’re not stupid. What can I do to help build that trust?”

The only thing in the world he wanted at that moment was to constantly see that fire in her eyes stoked. No insecurity, no fear of reprisal. Just confidence.

“I…I wanna do this right.” She pulled back and grasped his biceps, ducking to catch his eye. “I don’t just want to kiss your brains out. Well, I wanna do that too, but I want…” Her hands slid down to his, making them hold their hands between them. “I want this. So…let’s start small. A date?”

His chest warmed and he felt a smile fill his face. “A date, then. But this can’t get in the way of my search for the avatar.”

A frown creased her forehead and pulled her lips down. “I-I…” He’d been wondering what her position was on the mission of the ship. She hesitated, though, so he frowned too. “I don’t know if it’s okay that I don’t have the same aspirations.”

Part of him was soured at her admission. But a slightly louder voice told him that she had plenty of other things to worry about than his hunt for the avatar. It was his burden alone.

Then he was angry—she was _frightened_ to share her views and thoughts with him. She’d lowered her eyes in submission and her hands were rigid in his grasp. “Technically, you are under Iroh’s employ,” Zuko said simply, forming the words carefully so as not to show his irritation at her past abusers for instilling these reactions in her. “My mission is not yours.” 

Emiko nodded and blinked tears away from her eyes before she looked at him again. “Okay.”

“A date, then?”

“Please.”

He kissed her cheek and that was all. He bid her goodnight like a gentleman and promised to set their date for the next port. And he was probably going to fuck it all up. But he’d do anything to see that hopeful glint in her eyes every day.

* * *

**Zuko**

Zuko wasn’t the type to be nervous. Still, as he stood at one of the noodle shops in the marketplace with a silly mask on, he felt butterwasps floating around in his stomach. It was stupid—he was a fierce firebending prince of a mighty war nation, and he was worried about taking a girl on a date.

They’d tracked the avatar to the northwestern peninsula of the Earth Kingdom where many Fire Nation colonies had been set up. One small town that was rumored to be named Azula’s Crest in the future was holding a festival that would be the perfect place to take Emiko on a date…and he could use it under guise of “finding the avatar.” They could even disappear in the crowd with masks, and he held a cute yellow and white mask for her in his hands.

When she walked his way down the main thoroughfare, Zuko’s breath left him. She was wearing a black top that crossed across her chest and left her stomach and a triangle of chest bare. Skin-tight pants clung to her legs, ending before a pair of soft black flats on her dainty feet. A gold choker accentuated her neck. For once, she’d left her hair down. It waved down her back in a sheet of midnight waves.

She looked around for him, obviously lost, and he realized he was standing there like an absolute idiot. He waved his arm in her direction and pushed his mask up so she recognized him. Her face relaxed and her smile reached her eyes. The bounce in her step was adorable as she came closer.

“Wow,” he breathed, his face warm. “You look…”

“You, too.” 

He blushed even further at her compliment. “Yeah? I had no clue what to wear.” He’d debated for a stupid amount of time. He chose to wear a nondescript suit top with a tie around the middle and matching pants. Black, red, and gold. Elegant, but…fuck, had he overthought the whole thing?

“Me, either!”

They stared at each other for a moment before breaking into smiles and light chuckles. The moment seemed much less tense, then.

He handed her the mask he’d gotten for her and she took it with a wide smile. “How cute! Why a turtle-duck?”

Zuko coughed and made up some excuse how it was one of the only ones left. In truth, he’d thought it was adorable and thought she’d be even _more_ adorable if she wore it.

“I’m bummed we have to wear these, but thank you for getting me one.” She put the mask on and it only covered her eyes, her jaw and cheeks still showing. His covered his entire face, and he pulled it back down to show her the blue and white face of the spirit he’d chosen, tusks and all. “Ooh, yours is cool! I like it!”

Watching Emiko take in the festival was beautiful to behold. The smallest things were fascinating to her. He started to appreciate the world through her eyes as she pointed out a stand of fireworks and her mind was blown when he told her some of the history he knew.

“Oh, yeah, fireworks have been around for thousands of years. Even before the Fire Nation was founded.” He bought her a few dumplings, some kind of Earth Kingdom interpretation of _baozi_. Smelled amazing, though. “We use some hundreds of thousands of pounds of blast powder every year in celebration. Some crazy number I can’t remember off the top of my head.”

“How cool.” Then, she bit into the dumpling and her attention immediately went to it. “Ohmygosh this is delicious.”

Zuko chuckled at her and walked her to a few more stands. “Yeah, ship fare just doesn’t quite stack up to a festival-cooked meal. Here, let’s grab something sweet, too.”

She looked over her shoulder at him. “You don’t like sweet stuff. How about the savory pancakes we passed earlier, you’d like those better.” She tried to make him leave the line, but he put a hand on her back to steady her.

“Em, _you_ like sweet things.” Watching her eat cake was probably the most sinful thing he’d ever watched. She savored cookies at tea time. That girl would only survive off of chocolate, if she could.

Her ears pinked prettily around the outside of the mask. “Oh…right. Right.” 

Emiko’s hand in his as they walked through the crowds of people felt empowering. No one necessarily knew who either of them were, just that they were a young couple enjoying the festival. Even with a mask, Emiko was doing as she’d said—showing him off on her arm. She was open and touching him like he wasn’t a prince and she wasn’t a commoner. Like a young couple, enjoying their time together. It was the most refreshing evening he’d had in a long while.

She had them stop at every street performer, and she tipped each of them, too. Her eyes would widen at a dragon made of fire, narrow at the villain in a children’s puppet show, and shined up at him when he pointed a piece of art out to her. 

Her eyes were the most beautiful when they came upon a small dance floor, a band close by playing upbeat music. Mostly children were in the clearing. Adults were standing around awkwardly, ages ranging from theirs to older than Iroh.

“Oh, _music_ ,” Emiko gasped, turning to look at him with eyes that were almost impossible to resist. “I haven’t danced in so long. Zuko, tell me you dance!”

He could, but that would have been a lie. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. “No, not really.” If anything, he had two left feet.

“Oh come on, like they didn’t dance on the mainland.” He just stared at her and her face went from hopeful to astonished. “No way! Fire Nation history is steeped in dance tradition! You’ve never even _been_ to a dance?”

He shook his head, getting a little frustrated. Both she and his uncle liked to push music on him, but truth be told, he wasn’t very good at keeping beat and didn’t have the patience to learn.

“Can I teach you?” Her eyes held expectations that he wasn’t sure he could meet, then. Like he held her hopes on a silver platter and all he had to do was cure world hunger. 

He bit back his pride and asked her to show him a move or two.

“This is the phoenix flight!” Emiko backed up and crouched down, throwing her hands out behind her and kicking her legs as she moved across the dancefloor rather gracefully. The crowed _oohed_ and started watching her circle the children on the dancefloor.

She came up from that and went into another dance, throwing her hands to the side and her legs the other direction. Her movements were fluid and much more graceful than he would have ever guessed. The children tried to join in with her and she laughed freely. The sound warmed his chest in a way that felt uncomfortable.

The end of her move had her flipping to land right in front of him. “And that was the camelephant strut!”

“Impressive,” he said as the crowd clapped lightly in appreciation.

“But those are structured dances. You don’t even have to follow a dance move, you just wing it!” She moved her hands in a very familiar firebending movement, left and right. He didn’t join right away, but a few others did. One man joined her personally, also a dancer, and he took her hand and twirled her. They moved in sync, in a way that made Zuko unreasonably jealous.

The way they moved looked much like firebending, but smoother—elements of every bending style flowed in their limbs, and some movements looked _intimate_. The way the man looked at her was too much for Zuko, especially when the man pulled her in close and held her close to his body.

Zuko started some of the firebending move-like dance steps, finally finding a flow and pushing his way through the crowd to reach the center, where people had stepped aside for Emiko and the man to dance. She caught his eye in the crowd and she said something to the man, who sulked away at her dismissal. 

Emiko grabbed his hand and pulled him into the circle, spinning their bodies in beat with the music. Her bright eyes flashed happily up to his as he took her hand and spun her outward before pulling her back. Their chests brushed together, momentum knocking her into him. 

For a moment, Zuko was stunned by the intensity of this moment. He wasn’t the prince. She wasn’t an outlaw. The world melted away—the hunt for the avatar, his banishment—and he enjoyed himself.

The moment ended as crowd started pushing into the square to dance. The band renewed the song they were playing with vigor, a vocalist joining. Emiko cheered and laughed. Her voice was even more beautiful than the music being played. 

Her dance took her away from him for a moment, her limbs twirling in the air. The music swirled around them, almost hypnotizing. _“I wanna run to feel again, to be no one. To run under the stars of Azulon. And all my life I’ve been burdened by the dreams I’ve had. Now I wanna run!_ ”

Emiko then was in his arms, giggling against his chest. Her face shined up at him in a giddiness he never wanted to see leave ever again. He lifted his mask up and pressed a kiss to her cheek, a sigh of contentment leaving her lips. 

The music became more upbeat. Emiko threw her arms in the air and her body around in a style that was way off from what he could imitate. He definitely couldn’t keep up, but she taught him some moves that reminded him more of firebending and he got more comfortable.

By the time the music wound down, Emiko was falling asleep on her feet and the festival had mostly petered out. He had his arm around her and they were slowly walking back to the ship. He didn’t want the night to end. For the first time in _years_ , he hadn’t thought about the avatar. He hadn’t thought of his family, or anything that was troubling him. He just was a normal young adult dating a beautiful woman and enjoying a night out. 

“I had a wonderful time tonight, my prince,” she breathed. They were standing back at the now-closed noodle shop, where it was time to part ways. 

He squeezed her waist, enjoying the feel of her soft curves. “Me, too.” He wished that he could walk her back to her room and kiss her goodnight. He knew that that could harm her reputation, though, and he didn’t want to do anything to make her life more difficult than it already was.

“Really?” Spirits, her eyes were unfair. There was no way to resist them, or not to fall into them headfirst when she gave him a hopeful gaze as though he was going to solve world hunger. “I was worried I’d scare you off. This kind of stuff…I wasn’t sure it would be up your alley.”

He pushed his mask up and gave her an incredulous look. “I can have fun _too_ ,” he said. Just because he was so serious all the time didn’t mean that he couldn’t let loose and relax!

She pushed her mask up, too, and her face was sheepish. “Right, I knew that…not that you go to music nights, or read for pleasure, or take a vacation ever, so like…I would totally know that.”

 _Sassy little shit_ , he thought, trying to hide the smirk but failing. “Oh ha-ha.”

“No, but I’m serious…I’m glad you had a good time. I…yeah.” She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. It was nothing racy like they’d shared before, but it still caused his brain to collapse in on itself. “Thank you for tonight.”

He picked her hand up and kissed the back of her knuckles. Her cheeks flushed a pleasant pink and her smile was… _spirits_. “It was my pleasure. I’ll see you in the morning, sunrise, for your lessons.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love ya'll's feedback on this one! Zuko is an amazing awkward turtle duck, but I didn't want to make him too OOC on his feelings for Emiko. Did I pull that off, or was he too fluffy in this one?


	13. Don't leave marks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko and Zuko's secret gets out, landing Emiko in the brig for murder.
> 
> IMPORTANT:  
> NSFW - consensual sexual activity, masturbation  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS - murder, sexual assault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts more mature themes, and it wasn't one I could necessarily split up. Sexual assault is a very difficult topic to discuss, but the main thing to remember is: no means no. Yes and then no, still means no. Period. A yes under the influence isn't necessarily a yes while sober. Believe victims. Fight for justice. Understand consent. [Here are some resources for sexual assault survivors and their loved ones.](https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones)
> 
> Thank you all for reading.

**Emiko**

Being back to 100% was a beautiful thing. I loved the freedom of movement and the trust that my body would be able to support me in whatever I tried to do. That also meant that practice was much more rigorous.

Zuko had set up some kind of circuit training with weight balls, jump ropes, tension ropes, and plenty of ground spaces for different workouts that I knew would leave me absolutely _destroyed_. He was stretching along the far wall, shirtless and tantalizing.

Mouth dry, I wordlessly started stretching as well. You were never supposed to go into any kind of battle without stretching. And this was _definitely_ going to be a battle. I’d forgotten that, back at the abbey with the avatar. Now I wouldn’t ever forget it again.

“Good morning,” Zuko said with a smile over his shoulder. Spirits, that smile was too lovely.

“Morning,” I croaked. The pleasant buzz of my good mood from the night before kept me from completely dreading the exercise to come. “Are you going to kill me with this workout?”

“Probably,” he admitted. His smile only got wider, and it was sly. He looked like he was still feeling good from our date, too.

“You are the worst,” I groaned, leaning into a forward lunge to stretch out my glutes and hamstrings. “I’m not going to be able to walk down stairs for like a week.”

“It’s good for you.”

No, it was absolutely _not_ good for my not-as-in-shape-as-his body. He followed me in every exercise like it was a simple walk through a park. The _first_ circuit was fine. The cycle went: push-ups, crunches, squats with the medicine ball, and then the jump rope. In between each we took fifteen seconds of a breather. And we did that until my legs were jello and I couldn’t put my arms over my head.

“Breathe, Emiko. Breathe through the stretch and into the muscle. If you can breathe through this, you can get through long bouts of firebending.” He finally had the audacity to sound a _little_ out of breath.

It was obvious when he put it _that_ way, but fuck it if my lungs didn’t want to just suck down a gallon of air or just close off completely as my arms struggled to push my body up for the hundredth time that day.

I tapped out, sucking down air facedown on the cool metal floor. Zuko cheered for me to keep going but I tapped the floor again and just breathed down as much oxygen as I could.

His eyes flashed. “I said, _get back up_.”

Adrenaline shot down my spine and something warmed me to the core. I jumped straight up, my legs shaking, and stood in front of him. His voice had been deep, a warning growl that caused reactions in me that they definitely shouldn’t have.

“You can’t stop now. So what, you’re _tired_?” Zuko started circling me, his eyes drilling into my back. “Even when your lungs are screaming for air and your body feels like it is going to give out, you need to keep going. And you need to _breathe_.”

I’d always had a problem with my breathing, the most. My mother stressed it, how fire came from power of the breath. “Yes, sir.”

He stopped again in front of me, his eyes hard and dark. “We’ll do a few more sets of the circuit. Then, endurance fire squats.”

I almost choked on absolutely nothing. “Wh-what? Zuko!” He tried to walk away but I grabbed him before he got too far. “Come on!”

The prince used my grasp on him to pull me closer, his lips capturing mine briefly. If I wasn’t having breathing issues before, I definitely was after that sweet exchange. “I’m not going to take it easy on you just because I can do _that_ whenever I want.” He was slow to let me go, his hands lingering a little too long.

I was only shocked for a moment. I knew he was right, and it was for my own good. I’d just never had that sort of intense strength training before, and his sudden playfulness had knocked me off guard. “Fine. Okay, let me grab some water and we can do that torture again. Where did you come up with that, anyway?”

“Iroh. He had every soldier in his army do these kinds of drills.”

I drank water from my mug and blatantly stared at him, appreciating everything Iroh had ever taught Zuko. I decided I’d try and knock him off guard, too. “Is that why you’re built like a brick shithouse?” I looked him up and down over the rim of my cup very obviously with a smirk.

Zuko’s face went redder than his workout pants. Normally unflappable, his searched for a response, absolutely flustered. “I…I—yes, I have worked very hard to…I mean…” His floundering was positively adorable.

I put him out of his misery by walking up to him and placing a shaky hand on that perfect chest. I was being some kind of brave that morning. “It was a compliment.”

He grasped my hand and pressed it harder against his chest, pulling it down the plane of his stomach. In some kind of sexually crazed confidence move, I went lower, to the band of his pants, and grabbed the tie there. I pulled him closer, making him stumble into me. 

I used the suddenly close proximity to nip at the shell of his ear. “You’re letting me distract you, my prince. Aren’t we supposed to be training?”

Suddenly, his arms tightened around me and my feet couldn’t touch the ground anymore. I squealed and wrapped my legs around his waist to keep from flailing them. He nipped at my neck and ear, citing “needing more practice” as an excuse to push me up against the nearest wall and kiss me breathless.

His hands touched every inch of me they could. Strong fingers kneaded the flesh of my thighs, hips, waist, and finally landed on my ass to pull me closer. I used my position to wrap my arms around his neck, playing with the tail of hair back there and using it to pull and change his ministrations. A few tugs and I found myself grinding against a hard erection.

One sharp suck on the skin between my shoulder and neck had me tighten my legs around him and I gasped, tugging on his hair. The last time he’d done that back at the lake, I’d had to wear high-collared shirts for a week. “ _Easy_ , don’t leave marks,” I chided in a way that didn’t sound nearly as assertive as it had sounded in my head. If I could, I’d have him leave marks all _over_ me.

“Don’t leave marks?” he asked, his lips trailing back up to my ear. “Or don’t leave marks where people can _see_?”

“ _That_ one,” I gasped, my breath catching when he used his nose to nudge my shirt to the side. His teeth scraped along the tops of my breasts and I tightened my legs around him and pushed harder on what felt like a beast of a cock between my thighs.

“Yes ma’am,” he said in a gruff voice that made my heart skip a beat. One of his hands moved between us, rubbing enticingly against the place between my soaked cunt and my quivering thigh. Fabric separated him from both, but fuck if I didn’t push closer to that hand and maybe even beg with a quiet, _“Yes, please.”_

I felt pressure on my mound as his thumb skimmed down and then in, finding the pearl at the top that begged for stimulation. My gasps were embarrassing as he rocked into me like we were joined, whispering absolutely dirty things in my ear about where he wanted to leave marks on me. His free hand grasped my ass and tilted my hips in a way that pushed my thin cloth pants up to rub against the swollen flesh of my labia.

His nose pushed aside the strap of my top and he nipped at my shoulder and the top of a breast before soothing with a soft kiss. He left marks all along areas that I could easily hide them, making true on his promise.

His thumb was still making magical circles on my pearl and I used my hand on his hair to pull him back in for another kiss, this one much sloppier than the previous one. My cunt clenched and damn it if I didn’t want more. I whimpered against his lips and felt my hips faltering as I neared a high that I’d been chasing for _weeks._

“Prince Zuko!” The spell was broken by someone coming into the cargo hold, calling for the prince.

He cursed and his head shot in the direction of the voice. Luckily, we were hiding behind a section of crates in a corner that hopefully no one could see. My clit practically _screamed_ at the intrusion, almost over that peak, _so close._ Zuko’s hips thrust against mine and he groaned, head landing on my shoulder as he cursed under his breath. “I will meet you _outside_! One _moment_!”

His hands harshly pulled me away, pushing me back against the wall. He adjusted his pants as he turned, his face pink and looking hot and bothered, and kissed me again with a harsh _“fuck!”_ One hand over his face, he gave me a promise of finishing what we started later before he turned and left to deal with the person who'd interrupted us. I might as well have melted into a puddle on the ground out of embarrassment.

 _Fuck_. Even a cold shower after that didn’t take care of my problems. I tried touching myself but nothing felt as good as riding his hips had, and I walked around with dirty thoughts for the rest of the _week._

* * *

**Zuko**

Agni, he shouldn’t be doing this. Imagining her while he was in the shower. But fuck, he’d almost gotten her off. Her hips had been so hot against his and she had practically ground herself against him. He would have finished against her hot core if _Eisen_ hadn’t shown up with a message from the hawkery. 

Fuck, he was still hard. He closed his eyes, face to the stream, and stroked himself.

_Her lips were hot against his, water streaming between their mouths. He hiked one knee over his hip and pushed against her slick heat. His lips left hers to gasp for air before devouring her neck, licking up the water that trailed down to her collarbones and then even further south. She moaned, a beautiful sound. One of her hands was in his hair, holding him to her neck as she gasped. The other scraped nails down his back before grasping his ass and grinding their hips together._

_Dammit_ he wanted this woman. He grasped himself harder and thought of how soft she was. How sweet she would taste. He wanted to teach her more than just firebending and hand to hand. He wondered if she’d ever taken a lover, or if he’d be her first. Either way, he wanted to know what she might enjoy, so that he could make her fall apart under his hands a million times in a row. 

She loved it when he played rough, apparently, and all he wanted to do was leave teeth marks all over her body. And that ass. _Spirits,_ her thighs had tightened when he told her he wanted to do that. When he told her he wanted to see his teeth marks on her inner thighs and all over the column of her neck. She'd said _yes, please_ when he'd asked to touch her more intimately and he'd almost finished against her hot core at the pure _want_ for him in her voice.

_He slid between her thighs, her slick lubricating him. His length rubbed against her most sensitive spot and she made those sounds that made him throb in need._

Spirits, he wondered if she tasted sweet. If he tasted that sweet cunt, would it taste as good as it would feel? Could he— 

He thrust into his hand, finishing against the wall of the shower earlier than he wanted to. He was so pent up that he was hard again in minutes, and he finished again before the shower ran out of water.

* * *

**Emiko**

The avatar and Zhao were playing tag with Zuko through the waters of the northern Earth Kingdom. I saw Zuko less and less as he worked hard to continue on his mission. I didn’t complain—it wasn’t my place. But I still found myself wanting to spend more and more time with him. 

Even _without_ the foreplay, spending time with Zuko usually ended in a good time. He was refreshingly cute and innocent until you kissed him, and then suddenly he turned into a saber-tooth-moose-lion and took charge in a way that melted me into a puddle. The only part I usually didn’t enjoy of Zuko was his brooding angst when he once again missed the avatar. I was seeing that less and less of late, because I’d seen less of him in general.

Except in my dreams. Fuck it if he wasn’t in every one of those, leaving me just as hot and bothered as the physical manifestation tended to do. We hadn’t done more than practice in a week and I had taken care of myself more than once to keep myself from jumping him every time I was alone with him. 

Oh, sure, I could just touch him in practice, but we were both so paranoid about being walked in on again that it doused our ardor. And if I went to his room or him to mine, it looked incredibly worse. Besides the way it _looked_ , I also didn't know if I could trust myself—I’d climb that man like a tree if given the chance. I didn’t know if I could do that without telling him more of the truth, though…and I _wasn’t_ ready for that. He deserved to know everything...I just had to stop being a coward.

Today, though, Zuko was joining Iroh for dinner. I was excited because it’d been a while since the three of us had sat down together. Probably since Jun’s breakfast fiasco, if I had to guess. I was down in the cafeteria, waiting on Chef to put together the meals I would be serving to Iroh. I only really had one job, and I liked to do it right.

“Any fresh fruit today, Chef?” He and I bantered when we saw each other. He was probably the only other person on the ship who tried to really talk to me, or get to know me.

“Not today,” he replied. “We’ll restock again in a few days.”

“Sad. The prince and Iroh love fresh fruit.” I leaned through the order window, setting my face down on my crossed arms. “How’s life been since I last saw you?”

He scoffed at me over his shoulder. “Since breakfast? Same old, same old.”

A sudden pressure grasped my ass. Fingers dug into me and tried to cop a feel of something more. Startled, I flinched, hitting my head on the serving window. By the time I turned around, no one was standing behind me. I rubbed my head and said, “What the fuck?”

“Everything okay?” Chef asked, moving over to check out the scenario.

I flushed down to my toes, tears springing to my eyes. “Someone…it was nothing, Chef.” Someone had grabbed my ass and it made me feel violated. My face was hot. “Don’t worry about it.”

Chef frowned, a deep map of wrinkles filling his tanned features. “Did someone—”

The flash of my eyes told him to stop and he listened, thankfully. “Is Iroh’s meal ready yet?” I tried to change the subject and ignore the looks I was getting through the cafeteria. I knew that most of them could care less about me, but they never went out of their way to touch me before. Especially _inappropriately._

“About another ten minutes or so. Would you like me to have it sent to his rooms?”

That was my only job. No way was I getting someone to do it for me. “No, no. I’ll be back by then; I just need to clear my head.”

A walk through the ship’s corridors sounded nice but ended up only making me more paranoid. Men were looking at me, talking behind their hands and masks.

One man was leaning against the wall outside the cafeteria when I came back, head less clear than I had wanted it to be. He stood in front of me and smiled in a way that made my stomach ache. “Hello, miss Emiko.”

“H-hello,” I responded, taking a step back. “Who are you?”

“I’m Eisen. I’m not sure how this works, but…I’d like to request your services.” He held a gold piece up in front of him.

The need to vomit overtook me. “ _What?_ ”

He rolled his eyes. He was about a foot taller than me and even though the hallway was five-men across, it felt like his shoulders took up the entire space. “Don’t be coy.” Then, he was leaning over me, one arm on the wall above my head. I was trapped between the wall and his body. “I’m hiring you for the night. If you’re free, of course.”

I was frozen as his hand came up and gripped my hip, then move around to cup my ass. That spurred me into action. I pushed against him and yelled, “No!” 

Eisen’s eyes widened before they narrowed. “Come on, now. I’m offering you good money!” He drew closer, his hands tightening at his sides. 

“I’m—I’m not for _sale!_ ” I spat at him. 

A hand was suddenly around my neck, his face by my ear as he pushed his body up against mine. My arms were stuck between us and I was too paralyzed to move. “What, too good for me you _stuck up bitch?_ ” I tried to cry out but it ended in a whimper as his hand pushed up between my legs, forcing the cloth of my pants tightly between my labia and _hurting_. “You’ll only suck the prince’s cock, is that right?” He jabbed the gold piece into my crotch, forcing the heel of his palm to brutally press against the front of my mound through the rough cotton.

I saw red, then. My anger manifested as pure heat around me until my arms were coated in flame. I screamed and held my hands against his face. He screamed, then, too. The flesh blistered and melted and his cries echoed in my skull. Eventually, he stopped struggling. He collapsed to the floor, the smell of burned flesh permeating the air.

Men had gathered in the hallway at some point, staring with wide eyes. Adrenaline still coursing through my body, I clenched my fists and blasted a bout of fire at the wall. Something wet touched my cheeks and I reached up to feel that I was crying and my hands were shaking.

Jee was there, all of a sudden. “What the—Emiko, what happened?” He tried to reach a hand out to steady me.

My arms lit on fire again. “ _Don’t touch me!_ ” 

He and the other men in the hallway held their hands up, wariness in their eyes. Another voice came through the haze of my shock. “She killed Eisen!”

Jee looked surprised, as did half of the other faces in the hallway. “Emiko, lower your defenses. I have to take you into custody.”

“If you touch me, I will melt this ship and everyone on it,” I breathed, the fire on my arms growing to expand to surround my body. Then _no one_ could touch me, even if they tried. “Let me out.” I needed fresh air. I felt like I was suffocating, like the fire around me was stealing my oxygen.

“Emiko—”

“ _LET ME OUT!!_ ” The crowd parted and I pushed through, running, my lungs screaming for air. I burst through the top deck, the sun’s rays finally hitting my skin and I could breathe. I still couldn’t quite rationalize what had happened to me, but I did know that I felt zero remorse for the outcome of the situation. 

The smell of salt revitalized me and I was able to see clearly for a moment. Iroh was in front of me, then. He, Jee, and half of the ship had gathered around me. I must have been a sight. Fire practically cocooned me, keeping everyone at a distance of at least six feet. When Iroh tried to step forward, the fire flickered and pulsed and pushed him back. 

“Emiko,” he said calmly, “please calm down. We need to discuss what just happened.”

“I’ll tell you what just happened, Iroh.” The words were daggers flying from my mouth. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t terrified of what had just happened to me. I was _furious_. My vision was getting spotty around the edges and it didn’t seem like I could take in enough air. “Eisen offered to pay me to fuck me and when I told him no, he violated me. So here’s my confession: I _killed that son of a bitch_.”

I dropped the flame down from around my body, my vision going almost black as I stumbled down to my knees. Spirits, I had _killed_ someone. I’d only killed a few people before, but that didn’t stop the guilt at night as their faces played on my eyelids. Even if their deaths had been justified, like this time.

He had _sexually_ _assaulted me._ In the open, because he thought he could. And I had killed him for it. That was likely another punishable-by-death offense to the Fire Nation, and to Zuko’s ship. I’d seen what had happened to people in the military who killed one of their own. It involved the brig, a trial, and then usually death by firebending squad.

Iroh was the only one who came closer, but he complied and did not touch me like I’d asked. I held my arms up to him, wrists held together in front of me. “I…I understand, you have to arrest me for what I’ve done.”

“It was self-defense,” Iroh said earnestly.

When I met his eyes, he looked haunted. “But you have to treat me like one of the crew.” I attempted to smile at him but it probably came out more like a grimace. “Take me in. I’ll stand trial.”

“You don’t…Emiko, you don’t have to.” Iroh’s hands engulfed mine and lowered them.

“Am I a crew member?” I asked, my chin raised. I would die on this hill if I had to. He nodded. “And if a crew member kills another, even in alleged self-defense, do you arrest them?”

Iroh sighed and nodded again. “Yes. I will speak with the prince, and we will have this matter settled quickly.” He turned and looked around the crowd. He must have found Zuko, but I couldn’t look in that direction. I’d lose my composure if I did.

Iroh’s plan wouldn’t be good enough. I needed the men onboard to respect me, not think that the prince was bankrolling my every move. My pride in that moment could have killed me, but I was on a roll and I couldn’t stop. “No. I request a jury of my peers.”

Iroh nodded in understanding. “Lieutenant Jee, please take Emiko to the brig until we can put together a trial for the situation at hand. Yi-Sen, please get a crew together and take care of Eisen’s body. Prince Zuko, please come with me.”

Jee came close and asked permission to touch me in order to put shackles around my wrists. I shuddered even at his non-aggressive tough and let him. Then, he led me belowdecks to the brig, where I waited in a small room with a single cot, a candle, and a pot to pee in as my only company.

Not even the sun graced my skin.

* * *

**Emiko**

A beautiful woman was hugging a young girl, a singular building standing behind them through a haze. The child looked familiar. Thick black hair down to her butt. When she smiled up to who appeared to be her mother, she was showing a missing tooth. "I'll be right back, okay?"

The voice echoed, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Something wasn’t right. My mind was hazy. Why did this seem so familiar? 

The mother’s voice sounded frightened and tight even though her face held a smile. Then the haze shifted, and I could see the two men who stood behind her, decked out in thick red robes and matching cloth hoods with only eyeholes to see through. They reached for her.

The duality of the situation stood out. The child, looking up and seeing her mother saying that everything would be alright. The mother, trying to hold up a façade for her daughter before something terrible happened.

 _Mother._ I forgot how beautiful she was. Her long, straight hair that framed her delicate, lanky features. Jasmine had inherited a lot from her, in that regard. And I had no idea what this memory was, or what was happening.

I looked at the little girl more closely. She was maybe a total of five years old, maybe six. She was small, wearing a cute little white dress laced with yellow. Thick black hair was curled in ringlets around a chubby face.

The little girl didn’t know what was happening but knew something was wrong based on her mother’s tone. The air around them visibly pulsed and waved as it heated up. “Mommy!”

My mother left—was she dragged? Or had she willingly gone? The little girl tried to stumble in afterwards, but a large set of hands grabbed her. She screamed and thrashed and cried for her mother. Then, fire shot from her hands and feet. 

I watched the little girl turn into a raging inferno. Her body shone with light and the cries of burned people bounced around in my skull. The smell of burning flesh filled me with disgust and hatred and painful memories that I had suppressed long ago.

The fire spread to the building. It ignited like tinder on a dry day. I took a deep breath of clean air and jumped in, thinking that maybe, _somehow,_ I could save my mother.

One of the fire sages was burning on my left. The other one was just getting kicked through a wall by my mother. She was so beautiful and powerful in that moment, but it faded quickly. She fell to her knees, coughing, holding her stomach. Blood was pooling on the ground beneath her.

That was when she raised her eyes. She looked at me and smiled in a sadistic way. A way that made my stomach clench. "Hello, Mother."

I stepped back and almost fell through the floor. Shouts and cries rang from outside but they dimmed as the fire grew hotter and stronger and ate everything in its path. I didn't understand. _Why does she think I'm her mother?_ "Hello."

She laughed again before she groaned. "That's all you have to say? After all these years..."

I saw the blood on the floor—more blood than she should realistically lose. Tears welled in my eyes as I realized that I was watching my mother die in front of me. Her eyes, so full of fear, so full of confusion, made me want to comfort her in her last moments. "What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell me that my little girl will be safe. And _happy._ That's all I want you to say. You can see everything, right? T-tell me she will be happy.”

A tear fell down my face. "She will be. I swear this to you.”

She collapsed, rolling onto her back. Flames licked at her hair and skin. I couldn't feel the flames but I could smell the burnt flesh and the smoke and the smog. The screams and the crackling of wooden beams and floorboards and—

* * *

**Zuko**

The screams that came from the brig sent Zuko running faster than he had ever run in his life. After what had happened only the day before, he could barely imagine what had happened to make this sound come from her lungs. Bloodcurdling had a new meaning.

Men were standing in the halls, bleary-eyed, wondering what was happening, teeth clenched to the sound of a woman screaming her lungs out. This was the second time in days that the girl had disrupted life on the ship. Tomorrow, they would have to have a trial to see if she was guilty of murder.

Iroh was the only one who was actually at the door to the brig, ready to enter. The rest of the bystanders stood around, useless.

When Iroh opened the door, the brig was completely decimated. What was usually three cells with furniture in each was now just empty bars in a hollow space. She was even sitting in a pile of ashes as she tossed and turned on the ground in what appeared to be a night terror so horrible that she'd destroyed the entire room. Only the metal of the walls had stopped the fire from spreading to the rest of the ship, but even that had melted in some places, especially between the cells.

"Emiko!" he shouted. There was a melted spot in the bars large enough for him to get through. He ran to her side and grasped her shoulders, shaking her. She didn't respond well to that. Her nails raked down his chest and her handprints burned his skin at the touch. Even for a firebender, this show of strength was impressive. And scary.

Her eyes shot open when he shouted her name again. Dread filled him when he saw that her pupils and iris were gone, replaced with pure light. 

In the same instant they were both doused in a large bucket of water. Emiko started gasping like a fish as she clawed up his torso and onto his lap. Her eyes were confused but back to their normal color. He felt her heart beating a mile a minute against his chest when she hugged him in a death grip.

Iroh was standing over them with a bucket in his hands. Half the crew stood behind them as Emiko hyperventilated on his shoulder. "Well," Iroh said as he stroked his beard, standing there in his nightclothes, “alright, everyone, back to your stations! Nothing to see here. To the medical bay with her.”

Zuko rushed her to the medical room and didn’t let her go. He was worried she’d hurt herself and was in shock. All Zuko could think about was how he’d failed her again. He’d promised that he would protect her, that their relationship wouldn’t be leaked. He’d been less cautious of when he took her hand, and more amenable whenever she was around. Even if it hadn’t been _Eisen_ who’d walked in on them, anyone could have put it together.

And then she’d been assaulted by someone assuming she was his personal whore and had _murdered_ him. For good reason. Zuko probably would have done it if she hadn’t. Iroh wouldn’t let him see her. All he’d wanted to do was comfort her, tell her that he would have killed the bastard too—but he understood how they needed to keep up appearances, and making a scene now wouldn’t help her reputation at all.

Zuko returned his attention to the woman in his arms as he sat with her on a cot. It turned out, that even with the amount of heat she’d put out, there wasn’t a burn on her. He ran his hands over every inch of her skin and only found old scars.

She had calmed down considerably in his arms. He wrapped a blanket around them, since they were both soaked. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, his head on top of hers.

She took two deep breaths, eyes clenched shut against the candles that lit the room around them. “Dream.”

Firebenders were known for using their bending subconsciously, but what had just happened was on a magnitude unhears of before. To get fire that hot for that long, and not burn herself…and those _eyes_! Something more had happened than just a _dream_.

“What happened in that dream?”

“I…I watched my mother die.” Her voice caught on a choked sob. “The fire sages, they were taking her. I…I started a fire. She was hurt, and couldn’t get out, and…there was someone holding me. But I wasn’t the…something…” Her words turned to babbling against his chest, strings of words that didn’t make sense.

Iroh stroked his beard, looking off into the distance. “I’ve been doing some research…I need to dig further. This won’t be the last time, I think.”

“You’ve been _‘doing research?’_ Did this happen before?” Zuko asked. His uncle was being awfully casual with all of this whereas Zuko was pretty sure he was in shock.

The older man nodded. “She saved my life the night of the storm. Whatever this was, lit her like a beacon. It helped me find her, and then helped you find us to bring us in.”

Emiko shook her head, hands tangled in her hair. “No, no, no…no.” Then, her head snapped up. “Oh, Iroh, I burned the brig. I’m so sorry, so sorry, please…don’t _punish_ me for this…”

Zuko wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight to his chest as she coated the front of his nightshirt with saltwater. 

Iroh shushed her. “Nonsense. Things can be replaced. We will keep you in your room for now, if that is preferable.”

She babbled incoherently against his chest for a few more minutes before she passed out, arms wrapped tightly around him. He held her close and rubbed a hand up and down her back, trying to steady himself with whatever in Agni’s name had just _happened_ there.

“Uncle…what the fuck just happened?” Zuko had seen some crazy things in his time, but people’s eyes didn’t just _glow_ unless you were the avatar, and even that was something supernatural and freaky.

“She was assaulted. It may have triggered repressed memories.”

The nightmare part, he understood. “I’m talking about the glowing eyes and the immense power.”

A sip of tea made Zuko wait for a response. Then, Iroh took a few breaths and it seemed like he was stalling, moving his lips to try and form the words. Finally, the old man said, “I believe she may be the physical host of a spirit.”

Zuko didn’t even know if he believed in the spirits. What good were they? They didn’t do anything in his life, and really they were just something in a story someone told him. That someone was mainly Iroh, who tried to always preach spirituality, but Zuko didn’t hold much stock in it. 

“Spirits? Like _Koh_ and the _spirit world_?” Zuko scoffed, but Iroh just stared at him seriously. “Uncle, come on.”

Iroh shook his head. “I don’t know enough. Let me do some more research. I had some scrolls flown in from the royal library. I will see if I can find any information about this phenomenon. In the meantime, we still have to hold a trial.”

“She acted in self-defense,” Zuko whispered into her hair, holding her firmly. His stomach fell to his feet at the thought of Eisen hurting her before anger blurred his vision. “All of this…Uncle, why won’t she just let me take care of it?” He could easily make all of those problems disappear.

Iroh stood and started packing up his tea set. The look in his eye made Zuko’s stomach clench in embarrassment. “You should know more than anyone the need to want to prove yourself, my prince. She has to do this on her own. And you need to let her.”


	14. This isn’t personal, this is business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko's trial followed by a music night that ends in a way no one expected.
> 
> Warnings: strong language, resurfacing of prior sexual assault

**Emiko**

The morning of my trial, I bathed in Iroh’s quarters and scrubbed every inch of my body until it was red and raw. The water was so hot that my skin was a scathing red and it was hard to breathe, but at least I could concentrate on that and ignore the thoughts in my head.

I hadn’t had a nightmare like that in a _long_ time, or even that reaction. It had happened when my mother died and again when my brother had been pronounced missing in action in the Earth Kingdoms, fighting as a soldier. Had the _glowing_ thing happened each of those times, too? I couldn’t remember. Those thoughts were pushed so far back in my mind that I couldn’t surface them…and I didn’t know if I wanted to.

I’d stood in the shower so long that the water turned off. My body shivered in protest. _They probably need me out there._ I dressed in a simple black tunic with black pants and left my hair down to airdry. Putting my arms through the holes of the top felt like the hardest thing I’d had to concentrate on in a while. My body was almost as sluggish as my mind.

A knock sounded from the door as I picked up my dirty clothes and loaded them into my rucksack. Everything I owned was in there, in case… Well I didn’t let myself think of that. “Emiko, are you alright?”

I stared at myself in the mirror, large circles under eyes that were dead. “I’m coming, Iroh.”

The walk to the deck was silent, minus Iroh mentioning, “I am sorry ahead of time for the trauma reliving this brings you.” I was thankful that he didn’t try to console me or tell me that everything would be okay. Because it wasn’t necessarily going to _be_ okay. I could easily be found guilty of murder, and then Zuko would have to kill me. Either by his own hand, or his executioner’s. 

Reliving the trauma to prove my innocence was pretty fucking shitty. But I was going to do just that, and stand up for myself. Zuko always preached that I need to stand my ground, and I would. No one got to touch me like that and live, and I stood by it.

Sunlight hit my face as we walked out onto deck and I took a deep breath to rejuvenate myself. It helped clear my mind—salt water, a gentle breeze, and _light_. I noticed that almost everyone on board was standing around the edges of the ship, and five chairs were in the middle of the deck—one facing the other four, the two sides set ten feet apart.

I made my way to the single chair and sat with my head high. I had facts and 'doing the right thing' on my side—no matter what happened, I knew that I was not guilty. Iroh called out for two men who were on the defending side, on _my_ side. Yi-Sen and a man I’d never met stepped forward. I barely knew Yi-Sen, too, so I started getting a little worried.

When Iroh called for two men for the opposing side, two more men I’d never met stepped forward. There were only about sixty men on the ship, so not knowing them was pretty bad on my behalf. The four men stepped forward and sat in the chairs opposite me. I realized then that I didn’t see Zuko anywhere. It was probably for the best, though. Having him there, even just his _presence_ , could have swayed this in my favor. And I didn’t even want that chance. I wanted to win this to prove to the crew that I was one of them, not have a win handed to me yet again because I was the prince’s bitch.

Iroh turned and looked at me. “Emiko. Please state your case.”

I stared down the four men in front of me and kept my chin high as I recounted the morning of the incident. Chef nodded when asked if I had been there for food. “She was acting a little strange and said she’d be back in time to take the general and prince their food.”

The crowd turned back to me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow and said, “Someone grabbed my ass and it freaked me out. Chef, would you like it if someone grabbed your ass when you walked by them?” He shook his head. “No? Okay then. I went to take a walk and clear my head. That’s when…”

The man who’d voted to stand with me waved his hands and stood up. “I’m done with this. Eisen was a rat and he assaulted her. He was telling the communications room exactly what his plans were, and this girl doesn’t need to relive this or defend herself. Not guilty.” Then he walked off, fists tight and eyes glassy. I learned later that I had helped save that man’s life the night of the storm. Just like I’d helped Iroh. His name was Lucen. A very kind and soft-spoken man who didn’t engage with the crew very often. Having him on my side seemed to sway most of the men on deck.

One of the men on Eisen’s defense sneered and spit on the ground at my feet. I lifted my legs in disgust. “Yeah, a whore’s still a whore, and murder is still murder. Let the prince touch but not everyone else?”

I stood in anger, fists clenched, and the men on deck all took a collective step back. “You think that just because I’m a _woman_ that you can do whatever you want to me? Well guess what, how about if someone wants to sleep with someone else, they say, _‘oh, hi, my name is so-and-so. and I would love to take you on a date and get to know you better.’”_ I saw more than felt the fire trailing up my arms. “ _‘Y’know what, maybe a few dates, and we can see where it goes from there. Because I'm not an ASSHOLE and I respect women!!”_

Iroh cleared his throat and his eyes flickered to my arms and back up. I looked down and noticed that half of my body was covered in fire and I’d taken a step away from the chair. My next exhale extinguished the flames and I sat with shaky legs back in the seat I was supposed to be in.

I needed to control that. It was a cool party trick, but definitely something I’d have to work on. I wasn’t sure when _cocoon-of-fire_ had been ingrained into my fight or flight instinct.

Yi-Sen stood up and put a hand to his chest. “My late wife would roll over in her grave if I let this go any further. Iroh’s _assistant_ ,” he directed this at the man who’d spit at my feet, “is not guilty. This is a sham hearing, and I request it be called to an end this instant.”

The crowd murmured in agreement. Iroh noticed and called for the crowd to quiet. “Very well. Varys, Alor, do you have one last question to ask the defendant before we call for a final tally?”

Varys and Alor were the two men that had stood up for Eisen. Varys, specifically, was the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off me and kept staring at my boobs. Alor was the one who’d spit at me. 

“Yeah,” Varys said, a hand on his face, “answer the question. Why is the prince allowed, when we aren’t?”

I figured this question would come up, and I had thought of many ways to respond. In the end, though, I went with, “If he touched me without asking, I’d kill him, too. And if he was _allowed_ ”—I rolled my eyes so far back that I could practically see my brain—“then it was probably because he asked me on a _fucking date_.”

“So…will you go on a date with me?” 

_Oh, boy._ I was mentally and physically exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep for two days. I exhaled and closed my eyes. “My answer is no. I’m done, Iroh. No more.”

“Varys, Alor, your votes?”

Alor turned his thumb down to a symphony of angry grumbles throughout the ship. Varys, though, said, “Not guilty.”

“Three to one,” Iroh replied, “not guilty. Does the ship agree?”

The chorus of _aye!_ ’s greeted my ears and released a tension from my shoulders I’d been holding for too long. I didn’t _need_ them to tell me that I wasn’t at fault for retaliating against sexual assault. I’d wanted to prove to them that I wasn’t Iroh’s pet or Zuko’s fucktoy, but just a normal girl that was trying to work and didn’t want to…I dunno…get assaulted in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria. And I'd won.

“Emiko, you may return to your station,” Iroh said with a relieved smile. “Please take the day to rest.”

* * *

**Zuko**

The crew had had a long day, so a music night was well-received. A few men came up to Iroh and apologized for any behavior towards Emiko—he told them to tell her themselves. “She is not some delicate little flower. Speak to her; she’s very clever, and kind.”

That was for sure. She was brilliant. The prince sat next to Iroh, quiet and somber in the evening’s waning light. He thought back to the fire and backbone that shone from her, and the _literal_ fire that crept up her arms when she was full of fury. The defense mechanism was definitely something he wanted to work with her on.

Normally, the prince didn’t join them for music night, but tonight he’d softened. When Iroh asked what had changed his mind, Zuko said, “I realized that I don’t know my crew as well as I thought I did. I wanted to spend some time with them.” 

A few of them were gone. Zuko had watched that farce of a trial and fired the few who treated Emiko like a piece of meat. He didn’t need that kind of bias amongst his crew—and Emiko didn’t deserve to live in fear of them. He wanted men who were respectable and trustworthy...and any that touched a woman without her consent, or _assumed_ that they could, were not men to have on his ship.

Iroh peered around at the men and must have noticed the few that were no longer there. “I see that Alor and a few others are missing. Would you have had something to do with that?”

Zuko shrugged and returned to listening to the crew. He wasn’t going to defend his actions—and Iroh probably didn’t actually care. Iroh had grown attached to the girl, too, and tried to spoil her at any chance he could get. It was almost like watching his uncle have a granddaughter, which tore at Zuko’s heart the more he thought about it. His cousin, Lu Ten, had gone from this world much too soon. Iroh would have spoiled a little granddaughter rotten.

Jee stepped forward with a lute and played a stirring love song. The words were cheesy and brought pictures of a soft smile to his head. He wasn’t in love, by any means, but he was really starting to care for the short spitfire that filled his thoughts, no matter the hour of the day. He wanted to go below deck and bring her up for dancing. He wished they were back at that town, back where it didn’t matter who she or he were and they could just figure all of this out. He wanted to make her smile again...the last few days had been difficult for her.

Just as Jee finished his song, claps came from the dock as men walked onto the ship. Admiral Zhao led them, decked to the nines in his best Admiral's uniform. His daughter, Captain Jasmine, was behind him with a delegation of soldiers. Zuko stood up, ready to fight, but Iroh grasped his arm and gave him a look that meant business. He held back his initial anger and panic and instead waited to see what the pompous man wanted _this_ time.

Zhao extended his hand, holding a scroll with a signature that Zuko knew very well. Iroh took the scroll and skimmed it while Zhao explained exactly what he was there for. "I'm commandeering this vessel's crew in the name of the Fire Nation."

Zuko froze. His stomach clenched and he felt his entire future falling out from his hands. “You can’t—”

Iroh stepped in. Probably for the best. “Admiral Zhao. A nice visit, to be sure. Can I interest you in some—"

Zhao’s pretentious glare shredded right into Zuko’s heart as he said, "No pleasantries, General Iroh. I need an updated log of your crew and all of your provisions. Thank you." 

The log included a list of everyone on board, minus Iroh and Zuko. That meant that Emiko would be on that log. And there was nothing that Iroh or the prince could do to stop her from being taken. This was a _royal order_. No amount of posturing from him could stop it—not with his current banished situation. He could potentially lose even the _hope_ of getting his honor back…and was a girl worth that?

When no one moved, Jasmine stepped forward. Everything about her had been sculpted by the Fire Nation military…and her father. She moved in front of Jee and squared up. She was tall, thin, lithe, and well-put together in contrast to his crew that were mostly in loungewear for the relaxing music night.

“Lieutenant, I expect you to follow your Admiral’s orders.” Jee’s eyes flickered at Zuko in question, but Jasmine’s sharp _“Now!”_ made him scurry down to the hull. 

Zuko’s panic overwhelmed his self-preservation instinct. He moved over to the beautiful woman and stood eye to eye with her. “You can’t do this!”

“Prince Zuko,” Jasmine said simply, with what seemed to be actual respect on her face, “we have orders directly from your father. Please step aside and let us gather men for our expedition peacefully.” 

Iroh grasped his nephew’s arm, pulling him back to stand next to him as Jasmine commanded Zuko’s men to strip the ship. “Zuko,” he said gravely, “I’m afraid that we cannot refute this. The seal on the order was from the Fire Lord’s personal study. You must be careful.”

Zuko _knew_ that. That didn’t mean that he didn’t want to burn them all where they stood for their insolence. Jasmine walked belowdeck with her men, once Zuko was removed from blocking their way.

Men started walking off the ship with provisions, essentially taking everything. Then, an explosion rocked the boat. Jasmine flew out from the hull, knocking into a group of men carrying crates of cuttlefish. The woman was quickly on her feet, even with her uniform on fire and her hair falling from its perfect bun. Her head snapped up and her arms went into a standard firebending defensive pose.

One of Jasmine’s men came from the hull, then, grappling a small form. Emiko kicked him off of her with a blast of fire before strengthening her stance. She was wearing a simple night dress, hair billowing in the wind, her eyes flickering much like the fire that coated her arms.

Zuko’s heart froze—here she was, right in front of the man who wanted to imprison her for the rest of her life. He’d promised that Zhao wouldn’t be able to hurt her anymore, and she’d told him not to make promises he couldn’t keep. _Agni damn it. There’s nothing I can do._

Jasmine bared her teeth and circled the girl. “Emiko! The last place I would expect you, but a nice surprise nonetheless.”

Emiko’s eyes flickered around, probably searching for an exit, and she met Zuko’s eyes. They were pleading to him to do something, to save her. But besides treason, there was nothing that he could do to help her. Even though all he wanted to do was save her from her abusers and the cruel world she’d been born into…fuck it, he’d do it anyway.

Zuko stepped forward and between the two women, Emiko to his back. “She is not part of the crew. She’s Iroh’s assistant, and as far as I know, my uncle’s payroll is not the Fire Lord’s.”

Jasmine cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at Zuko. “My sister is a wanted woman, Prince Zuko. She has betrayed her nation and needs to be taken into custody.”

So many emotions flooded him at that moment. _Sister?_ “Emiko, what is she talking about?” He couldn’t even understand the physical pain that speared his heart. She’d promised to trust him, to never lie to him…and it turned out that she was _Zhao’s daughter?_

Emiko’s panicked eyes flickered between Zuko’s, Iroh’s, her sister’s, and Zhao’s. Then, her shoulders set and she held herself much like she had at her trial that morning. A fire that wanted to prove itself filled her fingertips and spread up her arms. “I am not a traitor! I just didn’t want our father to sell me to the fire sages like he tried to do to our mother. They killed her, Jasmine! And they could do the same to me if they get a hold of me!”

“Don’t bring our mother into this. This isn’t personal, this is business.” Jasmine tried to lunge closer and around the prince, who held out an arm and kept her from getting to Emiko. She glanced at him incredulously and threw her arms off him. She looked conflicted. “Sir, I can’t ask any more respectfully to leave this situation to me.” 

_Interesting_ , he thought, _someone with actual respect for my title. Surprising, coming from Zhao's daughter._ His _firstborn_ daughter.

“No,” Zuko growled, baring his teeth at her. Her eyes widened and she took a step back. “No one is going anywhere until I figure out what in Koh’s name is going on!” There were too many unanswered questions tumbling around in his brain and giving him the worst migraine he’d had in years. 

Who was Emiko? Had she been spying for Zhao the entire time? No, that couldn’t be it. She was absolutely terrified of that man. The stories all aligned—an abusive father, running from the Fire Nation…she had told him _most_ of the truth, but not the piece that he would have persecuted her for.

He understood _why_ she hadn’t told him, but fuck if it didn’t make him physically shake with fury.

Zhao clapped again, everyone’s heads snapping in his direction. “My, my. This performance is _beautiful_. Fortunately, I can shed some light on the situation.” He held up the crew’s log, Jee standing behind him abashedly. “It seems as though my daughter is officially on the books as an assistant to an officer. And, my…” He held up Emiko’s wanted poster in the other hand. “Even if _that_ wasn’t enough, she’s also a wanted criminal. So, I will be taking her off of your hands.” Zhao motioned for two men to move in on Emiko.

She dodged their grasps and fought back tooth and nail. The crew watched, unable to do anything, while she resisted them. Zuko felt the most conflicted, wondering if he should continue to trust her against this horrible man, or keep his mouth shut and try to keep his title that was hanging on by a thread as it was.

When soldier one grabbed her, Emiko shot him in the face with a fire blast so hot that his helmet melted to his skin. He screamed and attempted to remove it, falling to the ground as men circled to grab him and pull him back. “You’re not taking me anywhere!” The other man attempted to advance but was pushed back with a set of feet shuffles of fire across the deck. A roundhouse kick knocked him off the side of the ship and into the ocean below.

Zuko had to try not to let the pride show on his face. He’d taught her the theory for those just a few weeks ago.

“Fine, _Emmy_. I’ll bring you in myself.” Jasmine pushed past Zuko and she and Emiko circled each other, neither one willing to make the first move.

Zuko knew that Emiko was never the first to attack. She observed with a deadly silence, her eyes taking in every strength and weakness. She adapted to her opponent's fighting techniques—something that he’d never had to teach her, she’d just learned on her own.

Jasmine struck first, sending out a kick aimed at her sister’s head. Emiko fell to the floor, landing on her forearm and using that leverage to kick Jasmine’s other leg out from underneath her. She fell onto her back but didn't let that keep her down; she used the momentum to roll onto her back, put her hands under her head, and jumped back to her feet.

Both back on their feet, they circled again. Jasmine sent out another kick, this time with her supporting leg further out. Emiko turned quickly, blocking with a forearm before using the momentum to spin further around and raise up her own leg to smack Jasmine across the jaw. She missed, but Zuko swelled with pride watching his pupil actually able to defend herself.

While Emiko was catching her balance, Jasmine sent out three jabs to her exposed middle. They hit, making the girl lose her breath for a moment before she brought her knee up and kicked her sister halfway across the deck and through the set of doors that led into the command center. Emiko clenched her fists and screamed out, fire flowing from her fingertips and towards the next man who came up behind her. That man soon was in the ocean with one of his fellow soldiers.

“I think that’s enough.” Zhao motioned to a man next to him. That man blew into a dart blower that shot across the deck and landed a syringe in Emiko’s thigh. 

“What…?” Emiko stumbled and her fire flickered. The light that had started to shine in her eyes dimmed. “What did you…doo thoo me?” She stumbled down to one knee, a hand to her head, and Zuko caught her before she hit the metal deck. 

“What did you do to her?!” Zuko shouted, holding the girl closely. Her panicked eyes started to dim, even as she tried to talk to him. He hushed her—he knew that she was probably trying to apologize, or explain herself. 

Zhao looked rather annoyed at the entire situation. “Just a slight sedative. She’s killed many people when her bending gets out of control. One of the many reasons she needs to live with the fire sages—they will teach her to control that hellish power.”

Emiko shook her head and her hand weakly grasped his collar before she went completely limp. The air was taken from his lungs as he tapped her cheek, trying to get her to wake up. This wasn’t some _slight sedative_. It had knocked her out cold and her breaths were short, her skin cold. If anything, it could have killed her!

Jasmine came stumbling out of the command center, a hand to her head. Her face flattened when she saw her sister knocked out cold. Jasmine and Emiko looked incredibly similar, now that Zuko knew the resemblance. “Finally. Men, seize the prisoner and take her back to Admiral Zhao’s ship. The rest of you, finish unloading this vessel. Everything is needed for our trip north.”

He wanted to keep Emiko in his protection and snap at anyone who tried to come close. Instead, Iroh’s hand landed on his shoulder and he urged his nephew to let her go. He didn’t want to! He wanted to go back to their normal routine and forget that any of this had ever happened. Instead, Zuko had to lay her gently on the cold, hard metal and back up from her.

A man tied Emiko’s hands and feet together and threw her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Zuko fumed at how inconsiderate they were being…but he would expect nothing less after the stories Emiko told him of her family. And the fact that her own father had used some kind of sedative on her just to get her to comply.

Zuko moved to follow but Iroh placed a hand over his nephew’s arm. There was absolutely nothing they could do at that point to save her—she was once again property of the Fire Nation.

“Tell me, Prince Zuko,” Zhao said conversationally, with a smile that reminded the old man a little too much of Emiko, “how long did you have my daughter aboard?”

That smile was completely fake, and Zuko knew to walk gently around the minefield that was Zhao. “For quite a while,” Zuko said, trying to leave his voice as neutral as possible. “I never…”

“She never told you who she was,” Zhao tsked. “Emiko is a _master_ of manipulation. I’m glad we could take her off of your hands before something terrible happened. She’s run with pirates, a _gang_ …a dangerous girl, to be sure.”

It took every ounce of self-control Zuko had not to grimace at Zhao’s calloused words. Emiko was many things, and she could even be dangerous, like most firebenders, but her situation in life had made the woman that was drug off the ship just moments ago. The man who’d shot his own daughter with a sedative and tied her like a prize hog-cow had made her dangerous.

She was as dangerous as anyone…and she chose not to be, she chose to dance and cook and eat sweet things. No matter what was going on with the glowing eyes and the spirit power, she was just a girl. A girl that he was incredibly pissed at, but that made him even more angry at himself.

No one could choose their family.


	15. What am I?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko wakes up to discover something horrible. Her father tells her of her mother's past, and a little about who they are. 
> 
> Warnings: physical abuse, mental abuse, character death, drugging

**Emiko**

I woke sometime later, my throat screaming for water and my muscles _aching_ from something they couldn’t control. I could barely expend the energy to roll to my side, but when I did, my feet and arms were shackled together and then again to the bed.

It took what felt like an eternity for my eyesight to right itself and to stop seeing double. My stomach flipped as I tried to sit up and it took much longer than I wanted to admit to actually get into a sitting position.

_Safety first, panic later. Okay…where am I?_

My room was small, no bigger than what I’d had on Zuko’s ship. I was sitting on a small cot with military-grade adornments. Across from me was a dresser with a wash basin on top, and next to that was a mess pot. A cell, but a fancy cell. This cell even had a barred window far above my bed, letting in a cooled draft that made me shiver. 

What had happened before the wooziness was slowly coming back to me. _Zuko,_ I thought, filled with guilt. I'd left him standing there, without apologies, without answers. He’d asked me to trust him and I’d thrown that trust back in his face. I was going to tell him at some point, truly. I knew that I had abandonment issues and that I needed to trust him to try and get over that. But that voice…it told me that if I relayed to Zuko who my father was, he would drop me off at the next port.

Not that that mattered anymore.

I pushed those thoughts away, and other shady voices in my mind trying to tell me that Iroh and Zuko would never have fully trusted me. That I was just some nuisance to them. That neither of them _really_ cared for me.

I could move my tongue in my mouth, finally, and drank some of the water that had been left on the floor next to my bed. Food sat there too, but the idea made my stomach flip-flop. Instead, I checked the strength of my bonds and they were solid. My hair was also down and pin-less, meaning I wouldn’t be able to pick the lock.

I sat on my knees and peeked out through the window above my bed, barely able to see out with how far I had to stretch away from my bonds. I peered out the window and saw men running back and forth along the middle deck. _They didn’t put me in the hull._ A plus in case I somehow could melt those bars and escape. 

My father had used this sedative before. I was remembering more and more of the atrocities he’d been a part of, and him not refuting my statement about selling my mother to the fire sages had set me off more than my sister fighting for _him._ When _I_ was the one who needed the support.

Beyond the ship’s deck, I noticed the ship was docked. Very far in the distance, I thought I could see another ship. _Zuko’s ship_?

I only saw that ship for a moment before it exploded in light and fire, rocking the ship underneath me and making me fall onto my chains. I hissed and scrambled to get back up, my heart beating a mile a minute. "No," I whispered, pulling against my restraints.

I couldn’t breathe. My throat was tight, my eyes burned, and my chest hurt from where my heart was beating rapidly, the sedative still coursing through my veins and making my tongue heavy. _Zuko_ had been on that ship! Someone had planted a bomb, or planned an explosion! And _Iroh!!_

"No... _no_!" I pounded against the wall with my body, my wrists bleeding against my restraints, before I set fire to my hands and grasped the bed beneath me. “ _NO!”_

My door burst open and a man ran in. There was a scream coming from somewhere. It was actually coming from me, I realized, but I couldn’t stop. I turned and tried to run out the door, to somehow try and _save them_ and maybe they would be okay! The chains stopped me, biting into my bone, trying to bring me back to reality. They melted off of my wrists and ankles when I pulled hard enough.

The man at the door tried to restrain me, but I breathed fire from my mouth and screamed in his direction. The dresser caught fire, collapsing under the weight of the water basin atop it. 

The next thing I knew, my tongue got heavier again. My body seemed to become jelly, and I fell to the floor. Two men came to me and grabbed both of my arms to lift me up. My head drooped between my shoulder blades, tears running down my face as my vision slowly turned black.

**Emiko**

“Are you calm, now?”

I was sitting up, blinking groggily. Someone was in the same room as me. The voice sounded familiar, but my brain was slow to realize what was happening. I could smell something, but it just made my empty stomach cramp.

Someone snapped in front of my face. I flinched belatedly, shaking my head and clenching my eyes to keep the echoing sound out of my ringing ears. My vision cleared a little, then, and my father was sitting in a chair in front of me, arms crossed over his chest.

“Yothuggedmeh.” I tried to speak, but my tongue sat heavy in my mouth.

“I did drug you,” he replied simply. Obviously understanding me. “Your mother used to have these panic attacks, too. She told me to always stop it, otherwise…well, you easily could have burned down the entire fleet.”

 _A bucket of cold water would have worked just fine,_ my brain spit as I groaned and held my head in my hands. A headache mixed with dehydration, low blood sugar, and sedation pounded behind my forehead. _Iroh at least—_

“Iroh,” I gasped, my head flying up. It made my vision fill with black spots and I resisted the urge to vomit. It would only be stomach acid, anyway.

“He’s fine, he’ll be joining the expedition tomorrow.” He was just sitting there, arms crossed, eyes drilling into me. “What were you doing on the prince’s ship?”

 _Why’d you blow it up?_ Tears sprung to my eyes and I didn’t dare ask the question that was on my lips.

“He’s dead,” Zhao whispered, a cruel tilt to his voice. “So you can stop the waterworks and tell me why the late crown prince had you aboard.”

 _He was kind. He was my friend. He wanted me to be stronger and able to stand up to bullies like you_. I wanted to say all of that, but the fear that my father had literally _killed_ the man I’d had all my trust in kept my words in a lump in the back of my throat. “He…helped…me.”

The words weren’t perfect, but being able to enunciate meant I was getting some freedom back. 

“Oh, yes, your firebending,” Zhao said with a smile that _actually_ looked like a real smile. “I was very impressed with your show. Two of my men were sent to the infirmary, thanks to you. You’ve really grown in your power and _ferocity_.”

I only let the guilt hit me for a minute. It didn’t matter, anyway—nothing mattered. I was tired of running, of being scared. I just wanted to sleep.

“The prince taught you well. I heard word from a few other crewmates that he’s taught you plenty of other things, too.” My eyes shot to his and he held a death glare in them. “Did you sleep with that boy?”

This was the _last_ thing I wanted to talk to my father about. “No.”

He stood up and over me, obviously trying to intimidate me. “Really? My sources say otherwise.”

I was too drugged up and too tired and sad to be intimidated. And in this case, I wasn’t lying. “Some of the men on Zuko’s ship didn’t like me because I wouldn’t sleep with them. Want me to open my legs for them, too?”

A fire burned across my cheek and my head was turned sharply to the side. My father’s hand still hovered in the air from where he’d slapped me. “You will _never_ speak to me like that again, do you understand me?!”

I closed my mouth and lowered my eyes. What more could he do to me than try to sell me, marry me off, sedate me, and slap me around? _Kill the man I was falling for. That’s what he can do._ “Yes, Father.”

“Are you _pregnant_?” The word seethed from his lips like smog over an industrial city.

“No. We never…no.” Koh, we’d never gotten past the part in our relationship where we took each other’s clothes off. Or figured out how much we meant to each other. Or…

His hand grasped my chin and he pulled me to look at him. The tears fell, then, and he smiled at me with a veneer of _loving father_ that really came off more as _obsessive creep._ “Good. Emiko, your power is _unrivaled._ Think of what you could do with it, if only you’d see my vision.”

He left a kiss on my forehead, chapped lips leaving me numb and cold. 

“If you behave, I’ll let you walk the decks and see the great plan I have in motion. I’ve been dreaming of this since I met your mother.”

I wanted to ask him to stop, to leave her out of it. Even Jasmine hadn’t wanted to reopen that old wound. I didn’t say anything, though. I was weak. I didn’t want to hear the actual story of what happened to my mother after watching it on repeat over and over again in my dreams.

“Your powers…” He paced the room, moving the chair out of the way. “Your mother, Agni rest her spirit, had your same affliction. Fire that burned incredibly hot. Your emotions over-amplifying your bending to magnificent extremes. That’s not something you got from me, as much as I wished it.

“I met her on my journeys as a young soldier in the navy. She was a pirate, and we were free to hunt bounties. Light glowed from her eyes at one point. I was obsessed. I found information in an ancient library about this affliction. A _spirit’s host_ , in the flesh. Absolute power and authority. Your mother was running from the Fire Nation, same as you. I proposed a solution, for her—if she married me, I would ensure that she was never taken to the temples.”

 _Oh, spirits. Please shut him up._ My vision went in and out but my ears caught every word this monster was saying.

“My obsession turned to love, at some point I think. She had a fiery spirit, much like yours. We had two children and I searched for that power in them, but until we had you…Emiko, you were born of light. You were made for so much. Can’t you see why I’ve been trying to get you back?”

 _So that you can hold the power over me._ Instead of that, I said, “If you told her she was never going to be taken to the temple, then why did she die there?”

Zhao knelt down in front of me and forcefully took my hand into his. His eyes met mine and the coldest glint I’d ever seen shone from eyes that my brother and sister had inherited. “She changed her mind at the end. A shame. I saved you from them, too. She thought that they could save you both from the _curse_ of being what you are. Amaterasu got soft once you were born, and didn’t want you to meet her same fate.”

“What _am_ I?”

His hand brushed my hair from my face and cupped my cheek. I cried at the sentiment in his face. “You…are _power_ _incarnate._ A spirit’s host, for when they need to visit the mortal plane. Your mother’s family has had this history for _generations_. I couldn’t let the fire sages _squander_ this power, so I saved her. I saved you, too, that day when she took you to the temple. And I’ll do it again. You _will_ marry Isamu. A prominent member of my taskforce. You will stay with me as we conquer the world in the name of the Fire Nation. Or, I’ll send you directly to the Fire Lord and let him do what he wants with you. He’d pay handsomely for this kind of power.”

He _saved_ her? And _I’d_ been _saved_? “Did you kill my mother?” The question was but a whisper, yet he heard it all the same.

“Her decisions killed her,” he said simply.

For some reason, Zhao was giving me an _out_. In no way did it come from his heart. He’d killed the woman who birthed his children so that no one else could use her powers for themselves. Even if that’s what the fire sages ever wanted! Maybe they actually _would_ have been able to help!

He’d _never_ intended for me to be sent to the fire sages, he’d merely used it as a way to legally hunt for his own flesh and blood. This man would stop at nothing, and I…I wasn’t strong enough to fight him. He’d proven time and time again that fighting him was futile. No matter how far I ran, or how long I was gone, he would find me. And this time…he was telling the truth about sending me directly to the Fire Lord. 

“I…I’ll marry Isamu. I’m done running.” Tears fell from my eyelids, finally. My shoulders heaved and I shoved my face into my hands.

His arms wrapped around me, a ploy to appear the loving father he said he was. “Good, good. I’m glad to have you with me again. If only we could find your brother…we’d be a _family_ again.”

 _Ryuu_. My brother had been missing in action for years. A true soldier, and a beautiful soul.

I sobbed harder into my father’s shoulder, clinging to him. I tried to imagine that he was comforting me after a terrible incident that he didn’t cause. That he wasn’t the source of my pain and anguish. I tried to imagine what would have happened in my mother had never died—if my vision of my family _before_ that time would ever come back.

But this wasn’t the man who taught me how to ride my first komodo-rhino. And he never would be again.

**Emiko**

It took me two days to come to the realization that I was alone in this world. That, if I only listened, nothing bad would happen to me. So I bowed my head and obeyed. I didn’t say a word as my father made me dress up in gowns _befitting my status_. He enjoyed having a doll he could make pretty, it seemed. Something silent and complicit in terror and cruelty.

Father had let me out after the last outburst. We were in the middle of sea, and there was nothing I could do besides jump overboard to rid myself of the situation. I wasn’t strong enough to try and end my own life, so instead I endured his doting and his attentions and tried to pretend that they were legitimate—that he hadn’t just been hunting me my whole life because I glowed every so often.

I had legitimately never seen him happier. He almost treated me like he did Jasmine—proud, happy to have a daughter that served the Fire Nation. He let me roam, albeit with a guard at the door to ever room I was in. My father even let me serve a traditional tea for him and a special guest that day.

I took every opportunity to gather information about my surroundings, and this one was too good to pass up. We were going north. Father had gathered _hundreds_ of crews and ships to move in an attack formation. A bad taste filled my mouth at the implication.

The door opened behind me. I turned, expecting to see my father, and instead saw Iroh’s harrowed face. He shut the door behind him before he saw me, his eyes widening. My heart flew into my throat and I couldn’t say anything, only run into his arms and wrap mine around his shoulders, shoving my face into his neck. He smelled like tea and smoke, something that soothed me more than I could have ever thought.

“Emiko,” he sighed, hugging me back with an emotion that made tears spring to my eyes. “Oh, sweet child.”

“Zuko,” I whispered into his shoulder, shaking, “is he really…?”

Iroh shook his head and hugged me tighter. I mourned the budding relationship I’d had with his nephew, mourned the beautiful man who hadn’t gotten a chance to prove himself. 

He pulled back and cupped my face in his hand, turning my cheek into the light. It had been purpled by my father’s hand. “What did he…” Iroh’s face was dark and angry, something I’d never seen on the old man.

I had to wrap up my emotions much sooner than I wanted. My father entered the room and we had to go through all the pleasantries of an official tea ceremony. I moved stiffly, unable to even pretend that I felt remotely okay. 

"I'm devastated to hear about Prince Zuko," Zhao said with false emotion. Even though I wanted to snap at him, to say how cruel he was being to Zuko’s only real family, but I didn’t. I saw the syringe sticking out of his sash and knew better than to act up. "Just _devastated_."

 _Just devastated_ , I thought bitterly, knowing that it was my father who killed him. Maybe not directly, but he was probably the one who paid for it to happen. My eyes burned; I forced the tears away.

Iroh opened his eyes, and I noticed that they were red, as if he, too, were trying to keep from crying. Iroh had thought of Zuko as a son. "The Fire Lord will not be pleased he learns who was responsible."

I opened my mouth for the first time in days in front of my father. “You know who was behind the attack?" My outburst gained me a glare. I flinched and hid my face in my teacup, my ears still wide open to hear Iroh’s thoughts.

"Yes," the old man said, slamming the table with his fist. "Pirates!"

" _Pirates_?" Zhao asked. I had legitimately thought that _he_ had done it. And maybe he had—by paying for it. Either way, my heart hurt. I was stuck with a man who only wanted to obedience, while another I respected like a father sat across from me. His nephew, dead. The man I was falling for… _dead._

Pirates or my father, it didn’t matter. I’d never see Zuko again.


	16. I want you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko's sister attempts to reconcile. Emiko wants to be able to make choices for herself.
> 
> Warnings: NSFW - sexual intercourse, PTSD

**Emiko**

A knock at my door was something new. Zhao didn’t let me out often, but when he did it was to either see Iroh, Isamu, or to show off his entire fleet while he gave his morning meetings. Every so often, I even got to attend a large fancy meal with the so-and-sos. That fancy education at that all-girl’s academy as a kid wasn’t going to waste after all.\

The person at the door didn’t wait—the door opened. I was used to not having that kind of privacy granted to me. Turns out, it was my sister. "What are you doing here, Jasmine?" I asked, exhausted. I didn’t want to talk with her. She’d been Zhao’s accomplice in everything so far and followed him like a lost turtle-duckling. 

She frowned. "Can’t I just be here to see my sister I haven’t seen in _four years_?"

"No," I said simply, hugging a pillow to my chest and looking out the window above my bed.

She twirled her thick brown hair around a finger—exactly the same texture as mine but the same color as that horrible man's—and frowned, which made her look _exactly_ like him. And she just stood in the middle of my room awkwardly, arms across her chest. “Your bending was a lot better.”

“Thanks,” I said, still looking out the window.

“Second set moves?”

“Yup.” The quiet didn’t bother me, but it did her. She groaned and sat at the end of my bed, taking the pillow from me. “Hey!”

“Don’t _hey_ me! Stop being a twerp and talk to me, Emmy.” It wasn’t fair that she used my childhood nickname against me. It reminded me of happier times…but recent conversations had tainted those.

“Father doesn’t like it when I talk,” I said. “So it’s easier to stay quiet.”

Her hand touched my chin, turning my face in the candlelight. The bruise there made her face scrunch up. Then her eyes flickered to my wrists, still wrapped in bandages from where the manacles had bitten into them. “Emmy…”

Anger swelled in my chest, unfamiliar after feeling _nothing_ for so long. I slapped her hand away. “Don’t _Emmy_ me. You have _no idea_ what he’s really like, Jasmine. You’re his little princess, his perfect little Fire Nation soldier. I’m just a _pawn_.” 

“Emiko! Be realistic, you’ve been a fugitive from the Fire Nation for _six years!_ It’s not like he was going to welcome you back with open arms!” She stood and threw her arms around, more emotion coming from her than I’d ever seen.

Normally, my sister was cool and level-headed. Her only aspiration in life was to be a Crowns Guard, the highest of honors in the military, and protect the royal family. She’d been groomed her entire life to do just that…and also to follow our father’s ever command.

I lowered my eyes, the anger gone just as fast as it had swelled. I was too tired to try and fight more. “He killed our mother, Jasmine. Just remember that as you follow him around like a collared dog-deer.”

Her face paled, and she stopped pacing to stand completely still. “He…how would you know that?”

“I asked him,” I said, the words sounding hollow to my own ears. “You should start asking him questions, too. He’s hidden a lot from us. About who we are, who our mother was.” _Who I am._

She scrunched her face in disbelief. “And _who are we_ , Em?”

I shook my head. “Ask him.”

She scoffed and started pacing again. “I’ll tell you. I’m a soldier, our _father_ is a soldier. We are Fire Nation citizens and we follow the command of our Fire Lord to bring this world into harmony under Fire Nation rule. _You_ ran away from your civic duty to the fire sages. We all have to do our part to make this cog turn.”

“I don’t,” I said simply. “I chose not to. And he made me anyway. What we _really_ are, Jasmine, you would never believe. So I won’t waste the breath.” I took a deep breath. Part of me would have continued fighting, but the other just said, “Thank you for the catch-up, I’d like my room back to myself now.”

When she left, I felt the urge to puke. It physically hurt that my owns sister wouldn’t see through our father’s lies and try to trust me even for a second. She’d been completely brainwashed by the military, by the Fire Nation, and by our father. I wondered if she even wanted to fight it—or if she was fine with being a pawn.

I stood up and paced for a while. No matter how nice my room was, it was still a jail cell. It felt like the walls were closing in and I couldn't get any air into my lungs which were tight with worry. I decided that I needed to get out of that room. I knocked on the door and asked one of the guards' permission to leave. They looked at each other, nodded, and let me push my way past them.

After a while walking, my mind felt more clear. I continued to walk still, up onto the deck to feel the sea breeze on my face. It was nighttime, but that didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy being in the fresh air. The cold wind nipped at my shoulders around my night wrap, but I embraced it.

My mind was almost…blank. I was so overly exhausted that even thinking hurt. That didn’t stop images of Zuko from popping into view every time I closed my eyes. Hoping that somehow, he’d survived and hadn’t died a horrible death by those fucking pirates. 

I should have killed them when I’d had the chance.

Soldiers milled about, here and there. One walked a little too close and knocked into me, hand catching in my robe. I flushed in embarrassment, flashes of my assault paralyzing me in place. The soldier just continued on but that didn’t stop my heart from trying to beat out of my chest. 

I asked the soldiers to take me back to my room, where I sat on my bed, exhausted from less than a half a mile walk around the ship. I took my robe off to go to sleep and something fell out of my pocket. A little sliver of paper, it looked like. The chicken-eagle scratch on the note was hard to make out, but it simply said _midnight, docking bay twelve._

I legitimately had nothing to lose anymore, besides my life, and whoever had slipped that note into my robe wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t important. They could have wanted to assault me, but I knew exactly what to do when that happened now. And even if my father caught me, what else could he take from me? The pretty new dresses he’d gotten me? Could he _kill me_?

I welcomed that, if it did come.

I burned the note instantly and checked the time— _eleven. I’ll need to hurry._ The decks had been clearing out, even when I’d been walking back to my room. I thought to possible escape routes, but the door was unfortunately not going to work.

I put two fingers together and hoped my father had been right about my bending as I sent a concentrated flame directly at the metal bars of the window above my bed. It took a while, and a lot of sweat, but I got the bars off close enough to the windowsill to not stab me as I slid my body through. My ass caught against the sill as I tried to pull myself out. I wiggled and finally was able to pull myself through. I put the bars back and half-melted them into place so that they didn’t look too suspicious before clenching my fist and extinguishing the light in my room.

The trip to the loading dock was tricky. I dodged at least four people and made an excuse to another. But I made it to the dock a few minutes after midnight.

I opened the door and closed it behind me. I was greeted with an empty docking station where men would deploy from when it came time to invade the Northern Water Tribe. A singular canoe was loaded and waiting in the opening that faced the ocean, nothing to keep anyone from falling straight over the side. So I kept very far back from the edge.

A hand wrapped around my mouth and an arm snaked around my body. “Don’t scream,” a rough voice said in my ear. I screamed and elbowed the man in the stomach. He grunted but held me tighter. My panic rose to new levels and I threw fire out around me to try and protect myself. He let go with a curse and I turned with a ball of fire in my hand ready to retaliate against my attacker.

What greeted me in my firelight was a scarred, bruised, and very damaged—but very much _alive_ —Prince Zuko. His topaz eyes shone in the light that flickered with my emotions. I couldn’t even speak, my fire irrational because _what the fuck._ “Iroh said…” My voice shook like my hand. My fire died and we were stranded in the moonlight. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the blue shading against his beautiful face.

“That I was dead? Your father _tried_.” The words were spit at me, and he averted his eyes so I couldn’t see the anger bubbling there. I deserved that anger and more.

I stepped closer, my body shaking. _Shock? Probably shock._ "I'm _so sorry_ ,” I whispered. "I'm so sorry I never told you.” I reached out to him, wanting to touch him and make sure that this wasn't some horrible dream.

He grasped my wrist before I could touch him and squeezed. I flinched and tried to pull away, a cry leaving my lips as he squeezed my healing wounds. His grasp loosened, eyes widening in shock, and grasped my other wrist, too. I sucked in air through my teeth, the flesh still sensitive, even wrapped tightly in bandages. “Is this from restraints?”

I nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. 

He then stepped forward and grasped my face, turning my head to look at my cheek. Why did everyone think it was okay to touch my face just because someone had marked it? “Did he do this, too?”

My face crumbled. The only person I felt safe with in this world, besides Iroh, was _seething_ at me, and for good reason. “Y-yes.” His face clouded with anger. I didn’t know if that anger was directed at me. “I wanted to _tell you_ —”

I was caught up in a kiss that stopped me. He pulled away for only a short moment to say, "Shut up." Then, he kissed me again and I melted into his embrace. His lips tasted salty and sweet as my tears mingled between our tongues. I grabbed the back of his head and drank his kisses like a woman dying of thirst.

I thought that he would treat me cruelly, push me away for what I’d done. Koh, if this was even real—it could have been a fever dream. I’d thought he was _gone_ and here he was, real flesh and bone under my fingertips. I never thought I’d get to hear him to whisper my name against my lips and feel his arms crush me to him, holding me like he would never let me go

I had missed his lips and his voice and _oh spirits, he’s alive!_

I pulled away and held him at arm’s length, my chest heaving and my mind absolutely racing. "He tried to take you away from me," I was finally able to say when my lips weren't occupied. My hand splayed out on his shoulder, gripping him tightly to remind myself that he was there. 

"Emiko—"

"Let me finish!" I was still out of breath from his kisses and my inability to believe that he was alive, right there under me, his heart beating and his lips wanting to taste mine.

His eyes were patient for the first time that night. He just nodded, his jaw tight.

“You…you asked me to give you the same trust you gave to me. And I betrayed that. I thought that if I told you, you’d abandon me like everyone else. And…I couldn’t take that from _you_.”

"I'm so _furious_ with you," he whispered then, his eyes as cold as steel. My words caught in my throat and I could hardly breathe when I saw the utter rage on his face. "You lied to me, Emiko." When I tried to defend myself, he snapped, “A lie of omission is still a lie!"

"Zuko," I whispered as his hands tightened on my hips. "You're scaring me."

"Good!" he shouted into my face. I couldn't balk away so I just widened my eyes in fear and tried to remind myself that he hadn’t hurt me so far. He was all words, and I very much deserved these words. "Be afraid of the monster who wants nothing more than to hurt you as much as you've hurt me." His eyes ducked and stared at my lips for a moment, conflict raging in his features. “And the worst part is, that I understand why you would keep it from me. So why in Koh's name did it hurt so _badly_?" His voice broke on the last word, his eyes clenching shut.

My heart tore. I grasped his head and pulled him in to a tight hug, holding him against my shoulder and sniffling back tears. “The fear he holds over me…I can’t apologize for it. I did what I had to do to protect myself.”

He took a deep breath and my statement hung in the air for a little too long before he said, “I know.”

“I care about you, Zuko. Please just know that.”

He didn't say it, but I knew that he cared for me, too, when his arms tightened around me and tension fell from his muscles. He held me close and we stood there, in the freezing north, just listening to each other’s heartbeats and the creaking of the ship. He smelled soft and clean, a fire and salty sea air. His warmth was the most comforting thing I'd felt in years. When was the last time I'd just _held_ someone?

Minutes passed before he said, "I'm going after the avatar."

 _I wouldn’t expect anything less._ "Do you have to go? I can keep you hidden in my room forever, if you'd like." _Or in my bed._ I kissed the side of his head, pulling his face up to look at me finally. There were scrapes, cuts, and bruises all over. His good eye had been blackened. He'd just barely escaped the explosion, it seemed. I rubbed a finger over a cut and he flinched.

He grabbed my hand and then kissed the inside of my palm. "As amazing as that sounds...you know the answer to that." His breath against my palm made me shiver.

His other hand moved up my hip, thumbs gently pushing up the hem of my shirt. The skin of his fingers felt like fire against my bare waist. “I don’t, actually.” My words were breathy and expectant. 

“If you take me to your room…I’m going to fuck you.” His fingers slipped under the waistband of my pants, skimming along my hip and the top of my ass. “And you don’t deserve that right now. You deserve… _more_.”

Anger filled me. “Why don’t you ask me what I _want_?” No one in my life ever asked what I wanted—and I sure as hell didn’t want Zuko telling me what I _deserved_ when what I wanted was _control over my own life._

He swallowed visibly, his eyes flickering from my eyes, to my lips, to lower, where our chests met and our hearts beat against each other. “What do you want, Emiko?”

I let my hands trail over his shoulders, so strong and sturdy, and up his neck to cup his jaw. I pulled his face down to mine and our lips brushed. “I want _you_.” 

His lips crashed into mine, a groan escaping him as he deepened the kiss. The hand toying with my waistline grasped a bare ass cheek and pulled me up, making me gasp into his kiss and wrap my legs around his waist. His other hand grasped the back of my head and carried me to the wall.

He loved my hips and ass and running his fingers along every sensitive place they could reach. His mouth, on the other hand, liked to leave marks along any span of skin it could find. His lips trailed down and sucked a peaked nipple through my shirt. His teeth bit down, making me cry out, before he soothed it with a gentle lave of his tongue. 

I pulled his face back up to mine and ground my hips against his at the same time, making him gasp into my mouth. I used that opportunity to thrust my tongue against his, matching my rhythm with the strokes of my hips. A hand went up under my shirt, pinching and teasing the other nipple he’d forgotten and making my core throb.

His other hand kneaded my hips roughly before pushing my hips back and down, making me put my feet on the floor. I whined, missing the pressure of his hips against mine. That hand slid down my back and into my pants to palm my ass, pushing those pants down around my hips and making me moan. Then, his fingers delved between my legs and I just… _froze._

This wasn’t that _asshole_ who’d assaulted me. This was Zuko, the man I…

“Is this okay?” he asked, one arm positioned over me protectively, holding himself up off the wall. His fingers didn’t touch anything yet, just caressing my thigh. “I want to touch you, but…”

Even when he pledged to _fuck me_ , he still asked my explicit permission to touch me after a traumatic incident. My heart swelled and Agni-dammit this man was making me fall harder than I thought I would. “Please,” I begged, guiding his hand lower. “Touch me.”

His fingers played with the skin of my thighs, then dipped higher and brushed over a patch of curls. His fingertips stroked against my swollen lips, gently touching and exploring and making me gasp.

“You’re _soaked_ ,” he groaned against my neck a moment later, his lips leaving whispers against the skin there. He dipped gently into my heat, only the tip of a finger before retreating. The heel of his hand pressed in, giving my clit more stimulation to overwhelm me.

“ _Yes_ ,” I gasped, running a hand down his back and pulling his face closer to my neck. One of my legs lifted and tried to give him more room, hooking around his calf, but he still only teased. The heel of his palm renewed and his fingers played gently through my lower lips, stimulating areas of me I didn’t realize were so sensitive. His finger dipped slightly again but refused to go any deeper than his first knuckle. “Please, Zuko…”

He nipped my earlobe. “Please _what_?”

“ _Touch me_ ,” I groaned, fire filling my cheeks. He chuckled darkly against my neck and placed a simple, delicate kiss against my shoulder. 

“Tell me how you _want_ me to touch you.”

I pictured his long, beautiful fingers plunging into me and my face burned hot. “I…”

“I watched you stand up to five powerful firebenders without backing down,” he said sharply, the heel of his palm pushing insistently against my clit. I cried out and clung to his shoulders. “ _Tell me how you want me to touch you._ ”

“Your fingers, deeper, _please_ ,” I gasped before two long, dexterous fingers delved into me.

He let out a guttural moan that had me clenching tightly around his fingers. He put his forehead on my shoulder and thrust against my thigh as his fingers worked magic. I clung to him, nails down his sides, and rode the palm of his hand. 

“Are mine the first in here?”

I shook my head, groaning when he beckoned in a _come here_ motion and hitting something I’d never been able to reach before. My only other partner hadn’t bothered much with foreplay, and sex with him had been more exploratory than passionate. Myself, on the other hand… “No, just m-mine— _ah_!”

Zuko groaned again and stole my lips, keeping me from revealing our positions by being too loud. I squeaked into his mouth and rode the pleasure he was giving me. His fingers hooked into me harshly before he pulled his hand around and thumbed my clit. That thumb put just the right amount of direct pressure I needed. I started riding a wave of pleasure that crested and peaked before I clenched down on his fingers and cried out into his lips.

I tried to pull away, oversensitive, but he worked me through that orgasm and drug it out further. His kiss slowed and softened, his free hand alighting behind my head and keeping me close as he drug me through the last aftershocks.

He pulled slowly out of me, my sensitive flesh protesting and throbbing at the loss. “Have you slept with anyone else?”

“I’m not a virgin,” I said, my body buzzing and knees shaking after that performance. I reached out and palmed him through his pants and he hissed.

“Good,” he said, pushing my pants down to my feet. The cold air of the north pole hit my wet, bare skin and made me gasp. I kicked off my pants and palmed him harder, creating a cave in my hand and dragging along his length. He was thick and long, slightly curved as it was tucked up against his stomach, and he practically throbbed against my hand.

I pushed his pants slightly down his hips, just enough to grasp his erection and pull it into the cold air. He hissed and his fingers on my ass pulled me closer. His lips returned to my jaw and the sensitive skin beneath my ear while I held his thick heat between us, getting a feel for him before I _really_ got a feel of him.

Zuko used his hold on my ass to pick me up again, nestling himself in the wet vee of my thighs and groaning into my shoulder. I let go and instead braced myself on his shoulders, using my core muscles and thighs to ride against him and _fuck he felt so good!_

“I don’t have protection.” He thrust his hips against me, his cock sliding between my sensitive vee. 

Still tender, I gasped and tightened my legs, trying to find purchase against him and failing. “We don’t have to… _ah…_ ”

His fingers dug into my ass and he _ground_ himself against me. My clit rubbed harshly against his pelvic bone and I cried out. “We don’t have to do _what_?”

“Sex,” I gasped. “Fuck, you feel so good, I want you, but if you’re worried…”

“Do you trust me?” He put his forehead on mine and stared at me, his hips still thrusting shallowly against me. 

“I do,” I gasped, rubbing against him. His eyes were hard and staring directly into my soul. “Spirits, Zuko, I want you!”

He changed his angle and slowly pushed into me, stretching my walls in a satisfying way. He pulled back and then pushed again, making more headway and rubbing against my sensitive walls. I gasped and arched my back to take what I could before changing my angle and pulling back. I was so wet that the stretch was comfortable but not terrible, and the texture of his cock finally settling in me made me feel like my nerve endings were on fire.

With one last thrust, I was seated fully against him and I threw my head back. He attacked my neck, grinding his pubic bone against my mound before pulling out and starting a rhythm that hit _deep_ into my core.

“You feel so good,” he groaned, kissing along the column of my neck and leaving marks I would in _no way_ be able to hide. “Spirits, Em, your noises are _killing me_.”

I groaned and squeezed my inner muscles around him, my core working to match his thrusts. Sweat built between us even in the cold air, our passions keeping us more than just warm. The moonlight shone off of his eyes as he fucked me.

Just like I’d asked him to.

He put his head on my shoulder and thrust away. One thumb found its way down between us, flicking my clit again and building me up with him. I made those sounds he liked so much even more, running my nails down his back and absorbing the impact of his hips by tightening my thighs more. 

“Fuck, I’m close,” he groaned. “Put one of your feet on the ground.”

I did, the angle changing and making him hit something me that made me cry out. His mouth covered mine and his thumb coaxed me to the edge right before he pulled out. Three fingers filled me instead, riding me over the edge. I gasped into his mouth and cried out from the pure _sensitivity_ there, clinging to his shoulders.

His cock bobbed, untouched. I grabbed it and he cried out against my lips too. I gently stroked him in time with his fingers inside me until his seed landed on my inner thigh. The sounds that came from his mouth, his lips whispering my name, made me clench on the fingers inside of me again. 

He pulled my hand away from him. When I tried to do the same to him, but he didn’t budge. He continued to play with me for way too long until I finished on his fingers, practically babbling nonsense into his chest at the overstimulation.

He kissed the side of my head as his fingers pulled out, rough against my swollen, sensitive walls. “Something to remember me by, if…”

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close. His face was flushed and his eyes dilated, probably exactly like I looked. “I swear to Agni, Zuko, if you don’t come back, I will personally haunt you in the afterlife.”

He smirked, those swollen kissed lips too sultry in that moment. “I’ll do my best.”

“Stay safe.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I trust you,” I whispered, tears filling my throat. “I do. Don’t die.”

“ _I’ll do my best_ ,” he said again, kissing my cheek. “And if you’re married to that soldier at some point before I meet you next, I’m kidnapping a bride.” He tucked himself back into his pants and reached down to grab mine.

My cheeks flushed. I barely knew anything of my supposed engagement, and yet somehow he knew more. “It’s a sham, you know that, right?”

The look he gave me told me that _that_ was obvious. He knelt in front of me, using his shirt to wipe his seed from my thigh before holding my pants out and having me step into them. I pulled them the rest of the way up and felt like my face was on fire. It probably was—it wasn’t every day that my legs felt like jello from a man thoroughly doing _that_.

“I…I need to set off, soon.”

“I know,” I said simply. “If you were a normal boy, and I were a normal girl, we’d probably cuddle or something. But I don’t think we get that luxury.” It made me incredibly sad, but this was our situation. No way to get out of it.

He hummed at the word _cuddle_ , a smile appearing on his face.“Maybe one day.”

“One more kiss?” Tears sprung to my eyes and I cursed myself for the weakness. He had something he needed to do, and I couldn’t stop him from doing that. Even if all I wanted to do was cuddle.

He placed a simple kiss on my forehead. “You need to get back before someone notices you’re missing. And I need to find the avatar.”


	17. I know that feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko faces her wedding day. The Moon has other plans.
> 
> Warnings:  
> Foul language, death, war

**Emiko**

The morning of the invasion, my father had a breakfast with his top trusted advisors. I sat at his left, my sister at his right. The perfect little Fire Nation family. Other high-ranking military officials sat further down, including Iroh… _very_ far down. But I was graced with sitting next to my future fiancé.

Isamu wasn’t a terrible-looking man. Young, kind brown eyes, thick black hair in a topknot on his head. His jaw was firm and a straight nose led down to nicely-shaped lips. Too bad he was knowingly marrying a captive woman— _that_ definitely took away from his attractiveness.

He smiled and chatted amicably with the man across from him and to his left. When he turned to me, his smile fell. I tried to speak as little as possible and also take up as little room, too, at those kinds of events. Sadly, he’d noticed. “Emiko…are you alright? You haven’t said anything all morning.”

I pulled my lips to the side to try and smile and nodded at him, sipping my tea. “Mm-hmm.”

His hand landed on my knee under the table. I stiffened and shot my eyes up to him incredulously. “You can talk to me. I promise I don’t bite.”

See, the problem there was that I knew a prince who _did_ bite and it made my core throb. I was still pleasantly sore and it reminded me that what had happened the night before was real. I shifted in my seat and wished I was back there again, in his arms, forgetting everything except for the way he made me feel. Knowing that he chose me and I chose him.

I decided to make up a lie and find some way to explain why my face was suddenly on fire. “I’m sorry, I’m just not comfortable at these military gatherings.”

He patted my knee and his face softened. “Would you like to talk a walk with me around the deck before the battle, then? I’d like to get to know you.”

I could feel my father’s eyes on me. Daring me to misbehave, to insult the kind man in front of me. I had to keep up appearances, even if Zuko had promised to come and whisk me away. “Of course. I’d like nothing more.”

Jasmine raised an eyebrow at me from across the table and I shook my head at her. She was dressed in her finest military gear, just like Isamu and our father, and fuck if she didn’t look like our mother. Slim, svelte, and beautiful. And she could see through one of my lies in an instant. 

My father stood up right before the meal was finished. He held his goblet up and announced a toast. “Many of you know that today marks the second-largest invasion in Fire Nation history. I thank you all for being here to experience this momentous occasion.”

 _“Here-here!”_ The men and women around the table cheered before my father held a hand up.

“There is a large battle ahead of us. But once we are victorious, I plan to have my youngest daughter married in the spirit oasis to mark our glorious triumph. Emiko, please rise with Captain Isamu.”

My eyes flickered to Isamu’s. I panicked a little at the sudden spotlight. He comforted me with a squeeze of his hand and stood, pulling me up with him.

I stood out in the group, being the only one without armor. I wasn’t a soldier. I was a pretty young woman dressed in a fine dress that made it hard to breathe and walk, but hey, at least I was properly attired. Zhao had even gotten someone to come and do my hair and makeup—poor girl, that definitely hadn’t been part of her job description.

“I look forward to expanding our family; having them married in the Water Temple will secure the Fire Nation’s power there. To my daughter, and future son-in-law! May your wedding day be glorious.”

 _Oh, spirits._ I’d never imagined being married within the next few days—I’d thought I’d had time! Years, even! The shock must not have shown on my face because everyone applauded us. Isamu raised our hands and the table cheered again.

I felt numb straight through the meal, even as my father rambled on about the victory and battleplans. Even the pastry in front of me wasn’t appetizing. Jasmine nudged my foot under the table. “Emmy, sweets are your favorite. Why aren’t you eating?”

My hands clenched in my dress skirts under the table but I put a smile on my face. “Gotta stay slim for that wedding dress, sis.” She saw through that, too.

The table laughed. I played the part of a silent bride after that, directing questions to my fiancé with a glance in his direction. Everyone kissed my hand and congratulated me on our wedding as they left, until Isamu gave me his hand and asked my father if he could escort me around the deck.

“Of course,” Zhao said, a pleasant smile on his face. Not even a little malice in his eyes. He was too happy about the invasion starting soon. “Only for a moment—all hands in an hour for the invasion.”

“Yes, sir.”

The walk to the deck was quiet. Men ran by in preparation or were already at their deploying positions. Isamu held my hand in the crook of his arm and the cool wind blew past us. Wisps of hair had fallen out of his topknot, and the breeze smelled like salt and snow. This walk would have made me happy, had it been with someone else. Back on a ship where I’d proven myself as a fighter, a part of the crew.

Here, I was just arm candy.

We stopped at the front of the ship as the sun rose over the horizon. The Northern Water Tribe was coming into view. I knew that once we were in close that it would be magnificent, and what a shame it was that the Fire Nation was going to ruin it. The Fire Nation wanted to rule the world in order to share its glory, its prosperity. But they were destroying entire cultures to do so. It made me sick that I was going to be a part of the erasure of an entire way of life.

Isamu cleared his throat and I glanced up at him. “I…I know that this isn’t the best way to start a relationship. I know that you may not want this.” He let go of me to reach into his pocket. He held a small box out to me and placed it in my hands. “But…I wanted to give you my ring, if you would wear it.”

The gravity of the situation hit me. “Do you have _no problems_ with wedding a captive bride?” I asked, hoping that there was some shred of kindness in this man. That he knew what was going on.

“I do,” he said, a sad smile on his face. “I think you may find me to be a captive groom, as well.” 

I felt terrible for him, but part of me held a grim satisfaction—I wasn’t the only one whose life was screwed with by that madman. “I…I didn’t know.”

“I know. I just…if this is going to happen, then I want to do it right.” He squeezed my hands around the box, a firm reminder that it was still there. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to wear it. But maybe I could trick myself into believing you were just a girl I was in love with. And then maybe…”

Tears welled in my eyes. Everything was _so fucked_ and even innocent bystanders were being hurt because of _me_. “Maybe,” I whispered, choking back the emotion that wanted to surface. 

He left a kiss to my forehead that broke my heart. This man was going into a battle where he might live, or die—and then if he lived, he’d have to be forced into a marriage that he also didn’t want.

Would I ever get the chance to be free? I’d had it for one moment when I’d been in Zuko’s embrace, but that moment was fleeting. I might never even see the prince again.

“Excuse me,” a familiar voice said from behind us. We turned to see Iroh standing there with my father, both of them ready to watch the armada take on the Northern Water Tribe. “May we join you?”

“Yes, of course General Iroh,” I said with a bow to my head. His presence was comforting.

My father stepped forward and held a hand out to me. “You look beautiful, Emiko. I’m so glad you’ve joined us. You look so much like your mother…”

"Please, Father," I begged almost painfully. "Don't bring her up today."

He nodded solemnly. "There is no room for weakness today, my dear."

The rising sun finally hit us, illuminating the four of us standing at the prow of the ship. I took a deep breath and felt the energy rising in me. I could almost see the glow that my skin took on. The armada drew ever closer to the magnificent city that spread out before us. Miles and miles of ice sculpted into beautiful art and architecture, with water features that made up for the fact that there was little vegetation anywhere.

"It's daybreak at last," Zhao said. "Let's write history."

The lead ship dropped its bowsprit and used it to slice open the Water City's main wall. The bowsprit was then used as a bridge by Fire Nation troops entering the city. Whips of water and blasts of fire flew between waterbenders and the soldiers in the front, illuminating sides of city streets that had yet to be hit with sunlight.

"The Water Tribe can try to resist the inevitable, but their city will fall today. Isamu, are you and Captain Jasmine prepared to lead the 33rd Firebending Regiment once the initial defenders have been taken care of?”

“Yes, sir.”

A line of Fire Navy ships abutted the outer wall, which continued launching fireballs deep into what appeared to be unoccupied portions of the city. The invaders penetrated the outer wall with infantry and armored mounts. The Water Tribe still held one of the towers closest to our ship, but it was clear that the defenders weren't winning.

The Fire Nation soldiers had War Rhinoceroses, each with small catapults on either side of the beast's saddles. One after the other the soldiers on the Rhinos fired their catapults.

The secondary wall still held, a thin moat of water in front of it. The defenders were few, however, and a deadly rain of fireballs spread destruction deep inside the city. Rank upon rank of Fire Nation tanks fired as they advanced toward the secondary wall.

Isamu clicked his heels and saluted my father and the general before he pulled my hand to his mouth and left me with a kiss. Emotion caught in my throat, and I didn’t even _know_ this man. I just knew that he wasn’t a bad person, and didn’t deserve this.

The defenders rallied atop the secondary wall, where a line of waterbenders returned fire. Right under the top of the wall was a line of portholes through which water poured into the moat below. The waterbenders flowed in unison and the gentle streams became mighty jets of water. Two tanks were washed away, but several others behind them fired massive grappling hooks into the secondary wall. The hooks penetrated the wall clear through to the other side as the waterbenders scattered. The tanks with the grappling hooks then began to reel back on the lines. The tanks were anchored in the ice to prevent the tank from just hauling itself to the wall. The wall cracked slowly, and then gave way as more fireballs flew overhead. A huge breach had been opened, revealing war komodo-rhinoceroses and other infantry ready to pour through.

More tanks on the left pulled down large sections of the secondary wall. The space in between the primary and secondary walls was brimming with Fire Nation soldiers, tanks and war beasts. Numerous fireballs landed in the residential section beyond and parts of the city were on fire.

My father pulled a map out and reviewed it with Iroh. The two of them shared hushed whispers, but I was too engaged in the destruction of a beautiful city to notice. Then, Zhao put a heavy hand on my shoulder. “You should go get dressed in your wedding robes, Emiko. I’ll be setting towards the spirit oasis as the sun sets. I want you and Iroh to follow, not long after.”

I turned to look at Iroh, pleading with him, but his face was pale and worried. He knew as well as I did that this wouldn’t end well. My father had a plan for something, something he hadn’t shared with me, and I feared that it would end us all.

I changed into the all-white ensemble my father had brought aboard. Zhao had a soldier do my hair and makeup again, and she told me how much she wished to be on the frontlines instead of fighting with my hair. Not that my hair mattered anyway—it was covered by a large white hood. White was pretty funny, considering the things I’d done the night before. It was supposed to symbolize my virginity and willingness to conform to my husband’s values and ideals…and that, in itself, was humorous.

Iroh waited for me outside. His hazel eyes softened at seeing me. “You look truly beautiful, Emiko.”

“I wish it was for any other reason.” 

I took his arm and he led me through the ship until we boarded a small cutter with a handful of other important military leaders. They hadn’t gone out in the battle, either, letting foot soldiers do the work they commanded.

The walls of the massive city had been almost decimated—the streets were hard to walk on from being melted by fire and then refreezing again. My sandaled feet barely held purchase, but Iroh steadied me. The cold wasn’t bothering me, surprisingly. In fact, I felt _warm._

Iroh hissed and pulled away from me, like he’d been burned. He looked at me incredulously, his face searching for an answer. “Emiko, are you alright?”

My heart contracted and I fell to the ground, crying out and grasping my chest. The sun was fully set, and the full moon was rising. A red glow covered the white and blues of the surrounding winter landscape. 

"We need to go," Iroh said through gritted teeth, grabbing my arm with more force than necessary to pull me to my feet. " _Now_!"

I nodded, feeling dizzy from a weakness I didn’t understand. We ran until we reached a small door, and Iroh blasted it open with fire. I held up my hands, only to notice that they were _glowing_. As if there were a light under my skin that pulsed with every heartbeat.

Iroh grabbed my arm and pulled me through the door, which held a room so beautiful that under normal circumstances, it would have taken my breath away. Grass was growing and there was a small pond and a few trees. What really caught my attention, though, was my father, holding up a bag, screaming something to the heavens.

* * *

**Sokka**

They made it to the spirit oasis in time to see Zhao, the bastard, holding one of the fish from the oasis in a bag. He was shouting and proclaiming to the world that he would destroy the moon. He was literally crazy!

Yue clung to his side. “Sokka, he’s got the moon spirit!” Her voice, panicked, made him want to wrap her in his arms and never let anything hurt her ever again. Even though he didn’t have a chance with this woman, that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to give her the world. Part of that world included giving her Zhao’s head on a _fucking platter_ for threatening the moon spirit.

Two others, besides Zhao and his army, were in the oasis. Zuko’s uncle, Iroh, was holding up a woman all in white. A hood covered her features. Sokka would bet two copper pieces that that was the girl from the forest. Koko? Something like that.

“Zhao, don’t do this!” Aang cried, staff pointed at the evil man.

The fish wiggled in the bag and Zhao only laughed. 

" _Put the bag down!_ " The girl yelled this, but it didn’t sound like her voice. It sounded as though fire cracked and sizzled in every syllable. Everyone turned to look at her as a strange light billowed out from under her ceremonial white clothing.

Her body started to float. Iroh released her and took a step back, his eyes as wide as everyone else’s that stared in awe. She was covered in a red, fire-like glow. The clothing around her floated in a breeze that hadn’t been there before. When her body turned, Sokka saw that light had replaced her eyes, and even shone from her mouth as she spoke.

The cute girl from the forest was gone—what was left was some kind of spiritual force that Sokka had only seen from Aang. Sokka was wondering what in Koh’s name she was even doing there—Zuko was nowhere around, and hopefully _very far away_ , and Iroh had never really fought against them before. 

A white-clad arm lifted and a finger pointed at Zhao. Every pore on her body glowed with pure light. _"Do not anger the spirits any further. You don't know what you're dealing with!"_

Zhao looked almost struck for a moment, asking, "Amma? What…?" Then he shook his head voraciously and laughed. "After all this time, you come back to stop me in my time of glory? It's my destiny to destroy the moon and the Water Tribe! It was our destiny to live in fire, and you betrayed that. Now, I’m fulfilling my own destiny, _without you_.”

Her name _definitely_ hadn’t been Amma. Amiko, maybe? No, Emiko! She’d seemed like a normal firebender back in the forest, but whatever this was was shaking Sokka down to his core. Someone seemed to be speaking through her body. And these two apparently…knew each other?

" _You have been warned, Zhao. You have disrupted this world by angering the spirits, especially me. You hurt another, and we will unleash destruction upon you."_

The girl’s feet touched the ground again, her body still glowing. But she didn’t return back to herself. She looked like Aang, ready to fight in the avatar state, but waiting.

Yue collapsed against him. Sokka reacted fast enough and wrapped his arms around her, keeping her from falling to the ground. “The spirit…it’s dying.” 

"Ooh…" Zhao said with a taunting tone. "This is interesting. It seems that my youngest daughter is not the only one who has been touched by a spirit. Tell me, can you _also_ be possessed by my late wife?”

 _“You murdered me._ You murdered my mother _.”_ Emiko’s voice spoke out on the last line, through the haze of fire, and her face contorted in anger. “For what? _For glory_. For your selfish ambitions.”

Sokka stared in awe—were all firebenders related? The girl had promised she was a friend, before, back at the abbey. Her information had given them the thought to trick the big mole-anteater-whatever by spilling perfume and confusing it. It gave them enough notice to get out and get away from Zuko…even if Aang had felt bad about knocking her out afterwards, when he learned that she was on their side.

But, not only was she hanging out with the angry prince boy, but she was also daughter of Monkey Sideburns? That was just twofold _bad_.

Zhao sneered at his apparent _daughter._ “If you attack me, your fire would destroy this entire courtyard and _both_ spirits. I’ll just let it sit here, _suffocating_. Eventually the end will be the same!” The evil, vile man raised his fire to the bag and the fish wiggle pathetically in it.

Emiko’s body seized in the air, a scream rendering from her lips that froze the blood in Sokka’s veins. Her hand shot out and the most powerful fireblast he’d seen formed and grew until it shot in Zhao’s direction. The man moved out of the way, but not before her blast set the entire west side of the oasis on fire.

Iroh sprang instantly to the attack with Katara and Aang against the vile man and his soldiers. Men screamed as her fire burned the skin from their bones, and the smell of death radiated through the once-pristine oasis.

“She’s going to burn the place to the ground!” Yue’s pale face pressed into his side. He held her close and moved her away from the angry spirit inhabiting the firebender’s body. “Sokka, please, you have to calm her.”

“ _Me_? That’s, like, Aang stuff!” Said Aang was battling Zhao and four other soldiers as Zhao attempted to escape.

“ _Please_ ,” Yue begged. Her body was shaking and her face was pale, obviously feeling some kind of effect from the spirit dying.

Sokka took a deep breath and nodded. He couldn’t say no to her. She’d taken his heart and if he could give her even this one thing, he thought that maybe it would fill the hole of despair there. 

He inched closer to the spirit, who threw another volley of flame behind the waters of the pond. Whatever her fire touched was incinerated almost instantly in a volley of flame that had _colors_ running through it. Katara couldn’t bend to put it out, so the fire was spreading. It overtook the outer walls and tried to move beyond.

“Emiko,” Sokka breathed. Her face shot in his direction, angry light flowing from every pore. “O-or Amma, not sure who’s in there at the moment. Please, we’ve got this under control. Don’t add to the devastation.”

 _“Fool. Speaking to Agni incarnate. Tui has been murdered, and you expect me to do nothing?”_ The area around her pulsed with heat, air shimmering from the pure increased temperature she radiated. Then, her head tilted and she looked towards the pond. _“Although…La…I understand.”_

When Sokka turned to look at the other fish spirit, he saw that the fish was glowing and staring directly at Emiko’s form. 

_“I leave this to the Ocean. And you, Sokka of the Water Tribe…treat my daughter with more respect, this time.”_

Soka’s heart pounded in his chest. It was one thing to be stuck in the spirit world and interacting with those guys, it was _another_ to have one right in front of him literally threaten him and know exactly who he was. He laughed nervously and said, “Yup, yup, nothing but respect. Cross my heart and hope to…well, you know.”

One arm raised, Emiko clenched her fist and all of the fire in the area was extinguished, instantly. Then, Emiko’s body lowered, and as soon as her feet touched the ground, her body crumbled.

Sokka reached for her, pulling her limp body into his arms. Her hand brushed against his and it burned so badly that he smelled his own flesh sizzling. He made sure after that to only touch parts of her covered by clothing. She was still glowing, but nothing was possessing her anymore.

Then, her eyes snapped open. They were their normal, pretty pale yellow, which was nice. She looked around, panicked, and acted like she didn’t even see him. She tried to fight against him, burning him multiple times. He just held her tighter.

“I got you,” he said against her hood, where he assumed her ear was. “Hey, hey, I’m here to help. I got you. Emiko…you’re _safe_.”

Emiko’s body deflated again and instead of fighting, she clung to his chest, shaking. Sokka glanced around the oasis to see that everyone was done clearing the field. Katara had put out most of the fires, and Iroh was standing over two soldiers who were still alive to ensure they wouldn’t get up. His eyes were glued to the woman in white in Sokka’s arms, though.

“She’s okay,” Sokka told the old man, whose face fell from completely frightened to just tired and disappointed. “But the moon…”

A charred bag lay forgotten on the ground by the oasis. The lone fish remaining was still glowing, and Aang was then there, standing at the edge of the pond, like he’d been called. By a _fish_! Then, Aang did his avatar thing and what appeared was scarier than the other times Sokka had seen Aang do it.

The blue, white veined creature was a huge fish like being. At its center was a blue white bubble where Aang spread his arms wide, controlling it. A moment later, the Ocean, for he was truly in communion with the avatar, duplicated the motion. The spirit towered over the oasis, it's arms still spread wide, its blue spirit lighting the city like a beacon. The Spirit began to move down into the city.

Yue came up and put her hand on Sokka’s shoulder. “I…I know how to fix this.”

* * *

**Zuko**

The battle had raged the entire day. Blending into the carnage wasn’t that difficult, especially once the moon disappeared and the waterbenders lost their ability to bend. The bitter cold hurt, and his breath of fire was weak, but he’d tracked the avatar throughout the city.

A large explosion towards the palace shook the ground beneath his feet. Zuko looked over, where a burst of fire full of color and destruction engulfed part of the palace. Something called to him, pulling him that direction, and he ran.

A familiar flash of brown hair flew past Zuko. He turned and saw Zhao running out on to a parapet, and Zuko’s anger and hatred clenched his heart. That man had hurt the woman he…had feelings for. The woman he’d held in his arms and who cried his name and smiled at him and was such a _beautiful human being_. 

Zuko shot an anger-fueled blast at the admiral. He dodged, his eyes widening, and looked up through the smoke to see Zuko standing on the wall above him. "You're alive?!" Zhao asked incredulously, his face uncommonly pale, his wide and panicked.

"You tried to have me killed!" Zuko yelled as he launched a few fire blasts at Zhao with a cry of anguish. His target dodged, rolling along the parapet wall.

All he could think of was the last few moments he'd had with Emiko, _with this man's daughter_ , and thought of the purple bruise on her face. Her bandaged wrists. The way her body had crumbed after Zhao had stuck her with a sedative. Her panic from the man who’d abused her, that bled into her normal everyday interactions because her pain was all she could remember. 

“I did, you traitor!” Zhao broke the next volley of flame sent his way with his hands held together in a wedge in front of him. “And I’ll enjoy killing you personally, this time.”

“I share the same sentiment,” Zuko sneered. “That way you’ll never be able to put your hands on Emiko ever again.”

An angry blast of fire shot in Zuko’s direction. In his anger, Zhao was always messy with his bending. “What I’ve done to Emiko is for her own good!”

They traded volleys back and forth in the darkness. At one point, Zuko was able to exploit a moment when Zhao left his chest unguarded. Zuko punched a lob of fire at him and Zhao fell off the parapet wall, onto the tier below.

“ _Her own good_? She was a child, _your child_! You were supposed to protect her, and instead you hunted her like an animal! You chained her up like a beast!”

“Oh, how my daughter has gotten under your skin, Prince Zuko.” Zhao’s smile flickered in the fire that he held in his hands. He stood back up, his body tense and ready to fight again. “I know that feeling. The spirituality that the women in her family have…it’s _intoxicating_. All of that power…” The look on his face was disgustingly heady before his eyes shot open, glaring at the prince. “You’ll end up using her for it, too. You’ll see she’s more than just a _cunt_ for you to fill.”

Zuko screamed and sent a direct set of hits into the vile man, laying the Admiral out flat. His face filled with fear, for the first time Zuko had ever seen. “I should end you right here!”

Light filled the canal over where they were fighting. The moon lit back up, the water coming to life with a blue so unnatural, that white veins ran through it. Something advanced through the waters, straight towards them. A large, otherworldly hand reached out and Zuko ran to avoid it. Zhao was not as lucky.

Zuko wasn’t the one who was destined to end that man, as much as he wanted to be. The Ocean got its revenge. He later learned about the events of the spirit oasis, and how much of a fitting end it was for the man. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to revive him and kill him ten times over for his crimes against his own family.

He eventually found his uncle and Emiko, wearing robes of wedding white. She looked absolutely beautiful and haunted at the events of what had happened. They all escaped on a small raft, where Zuko held Emiko and told her what had happened to her father. She didn’t shed a single tear and only held him tighter, falling asleep in his arms.


	18. Part II: Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emiko, Zuko, and Iroh float aimlessly in the ocean until they happen upon a cherry-blossom haven. Emiko retreats into herself beforethe dam bursts and she grieves in a most unusual (and probably unhealthy) way.
> 
> Warnings: grieving processes, NSFW sexual content

**Part II: Revelations**

**Zuko**

Prince Zuko awoke to the warm body of a woman lying against his. This woman was soft and back on the ship her hair had smelled like the rose soap she’d gotten from the markets, but at that point all he could smell was himself and the salty sea air. It was the same smell that had been around him for almost three weeks.

His throat was dry and his back ached. They'd run out of water the day before, so all of the salt water around him looked very tempting. He knew why he shouldn't drink it but that didn't stop him from thinking about it. His back ached from laying out on the wooden raft they had escaped the North Pole on.

Emiko shifted next to him. He squeezed her softly, digging his face into her hair. He didn't want to think about the thirst or the hunger (they'd run out of food _two_ days before that) and he definitely didn't want to think about another day on the sea. The girl turned over in his arms, putting her face in his chest. The hood she had protected her delicate skin from the sun, but he and Iroh weren’t doing so well in that regard. His face felt tight, like leather.

Zuko felt somewhat dead inside. At first he'd felt shame. Shame for not being able to capture the avatar, shame for losing his crew, shame for everything he'd ever done in his life. It turned into guilt and anger and slowly burned down to nothing. Not even Emiko could bring him out of his feelings of nothingness.

Emiko hadn't said anything since the North Pole. The prince felt like he should be worried but was too caught up in his own emotions to be able to empathize. She was still upset after her father's death. He didn't know what bothered him more—that she hadn't said anything to him, or that she hadn’t said anything at _all_. Or maybe that she was grieving for an awful, horrible man who did nothing but hunt her down.

Who was Zuko to wonder what was normal when it came to family?

A bird landed on his shoulder and he shooed it away. Emiko was the one who sat up and stopped him from shooing the beast. It was a butter-dove, holding a twig between its beak. The girl put out a hand for the bird and it hopped on her finger. Her eyes showed a spark for the first time in weeks. Emiko then presented the bird to Iroh, who was behind them.

Iroh's eyes lightened and he sighed in relief when he saw the butter-dove. It cooed and twitched its antennae before flying off with its large, colorful wings. "A butter-dove brings peace, beauty...and the promise of land." His voice was hoarse—none of them had really been talking much and all of them were thirsty. Still, there was a tear of relief in his eye.

Emiko was still watching the butter-dove fly off until it couldn't be seen off the horizon. Then, there, on that same horizon, land started to appear. Zuko felt a little bit of relief rather than nothing as he watched the sand, trees, and huts get closer and closer. He rubbed a hand over his face and top of his head and couldn't wait to shave.

When they finally washed up on shore, Zuko's legs didn't feel like they could move. Somehow, they pulled themselves up onto the shore and were greeted by men and women who pulled them to their feet. A bathhouse stretched over a wide river. Blossoming cherry trees filled the countryside, while the sun rose sullenly in the background. The people know who Zuko and Iroh were kind and generous and, while they didn't know Emiko, they treated her like royalty, too. Iroh had apparently been to that spa before—and damn, it was exactly what they needed.

Every day was magic. He was pampered like he used to be. Servants bathed him, spoiled him with delicious meals, even clothed him. The luxuries offered were nowhere near palace expectations, but it was wonderful.

Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for his failures and his past to catch up to him in the quiet peace.

**Emiko**

I stood by the river and held a little box in front of me, debating on opening it. It was stupid, really. It shouldn’t have been that hard. It’d been weeks since it had even meant anything…why was a stupid piece of metal so hard to look at? I tore the box open. 

The small red ruby surrounded by black diamonds made my stomach twist.

Isamu had been a wonderful man. I had no idea what had happened to him after the battle in the Northern Water Tribe. I heard it was called the "Siege of the North." He'd always treated me with respect and kindness, and he’d been just as forced into our dalliance as I was. He was always the nicest of the men who’d captured me. He’d sneak me sweets and tea, if my father was punishing me. He’d let me accompany him on rounds so that I could get out of my room. Even if it had been at the order of my father, he was polite and kind, if not a little shy.

I didn't know if Isamu was alive, if he'd gotten out... Koh, I couldn't even remember how _I'd_ gotten out, only that that Water Tribe man had held me after what had felt like a really bad dream.

My father was dead. I’d dreamed about it for years, but having it actually happen…I was still absorbing it. He was a terrible, horrible man, and he deserved to be stopped for his cruelty upon the world.

If that was true, then why was I tearing up over old memories? Why was I separating the man who’d raised me and the man he’d become? They were the _same person_. My emotions told me differently. Instead of mourning him completely, I knelt by the river and mourned who he _had been_. Maybe who he could have been. I wasn’t sure that that man was ever real—he’d only married my mother to gain her power. But if he was real, then I focused on a small image of him holding me while riding my first war rhino.

That memory, I could mourn.

"Emiko." I felt a hand on my shoulder.

My throat was tight and my eyes were starting to really burn from keeping all of the tears in. I kept my face hidden from Zuko as his hands gently moved up and down my arms. He didn't say anything, he just put his forehead on top of my head and clenched my biceps in a tight grasp.

I was getting so upset that I was shuddering. I pushed his hands away from me and wrapped my arms around my body to keep the shivers in. _Leave me alone. Let me grieve in peace._

I couldn't tell him what I felt. The pain and anguish from the last week or so piled on and I just _hurt_. I’d learned about the true death of my mother. I’d been sexually assaulted. I’d been slapped and sedated and trussed and given away like livestock. I didn’t know where my sister was, and I was still holding that stupid box in my hands and all I wanted to do was be able to give it back to Isamu so that he could find the woman of his dreams and marry _her_.

Zuko was quiet. I could see his reflection in the river and his face was full of emotion. Fury, guilt, sadness... He held his body so tightly I was surprised it didn't spontaneously combust. "Speak to me, dammit."

I didn't understand why it hurt so badly. _He was an awful man, but he wasn't always that way._ My mind kept conjuring up images of the picnics we used to share, or when he would hold me up in the air like I was a bird. He used to make the most wonderful homemade fire flakes. _But, he was a monster,_ I kept trying to tell myself. It didn't work.

The dam broke and I sobbed, throwing the box into the river and wrapping my arms around my waist to hold in the pain.

Zuko forcefully grabbed me. I thought he would try to shake me out of it or do something violent, but he just pulled me against him and held me tightly. His grip actually hurt a little. I put my head in his chest and gripped the back of his tunic with all my might. His comforting smell of smoke and fire and _male_ made everything worse, but also better. The sobs came full force.

"About time," he said softly, leaning his head against mine. "Stop holding it in."

So I stopped. I let out all of the emotion that I'd bottled up for so long. _My mother's gone, my father's gone. My sister might be dead, and so might my brother. We have nothing. No money, no home, no crew, no ship. Dammit. He's letting me cry, why is he letting me cry?_

I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. He maneuvered us to where he sat up and back against a tree on the riverbank, pulling me onto his lap. I wiped at my face with my tunic, sniffing to pull back in the snot that had fallen. Tears weren’t romantic—there was a lot of puffy eyes and snot involved.

He whispered soft words into my hair and held me close. The feel of his heartbeat and how solid he was brought me back to reality. There was a lot I wouldn’t be able to diagnose yet, or even understand—but I did know that I trusted this man with every fiber of my being.

I looked up and stared into his gorgeous topaz eyes. The bruising and injuries had mostly faded, leaving him the prince I remembered, but those eyes also held sadness. “Thank you,” I said, leaning up to kiss the edge of his scar. 

He flinched and pulled away. “Don’t…don’t touch it.”

I bit my lip and averted my eyes. When I tried to be bold, when I wanted to show affection, I always did it the wrong way. “I’m sorry.”

“I…fuck.” He grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his face, right over his scar. He clenched his other eye and held my hand against the textured flesh. “I do. Want you to touch me. I just…today’s the anniversary. It’s been _seven years_ , and I’m still not…”

My hand was too small as it covered the burn, but I realized, then…that his father must have directly touched Zuko’s face while burning him. No wonder he didn’t want me to touch it.

My heart ached and I didn’t know how much more I could take in terms of emotional baggage for the day. But I wanted to be there for him, like he was for me. I rubbed my thumb along the place where the scar ended and his lower cheek began, noting the textural differences and how he shuddered under my hands. 

“Can you feel this?” It wasn’t rough, like I’d thought. It wasn’t as soft as the rest of his skin, but I still caressed it like it was. 

His nostrils flared, eyes still closed. “I…yeah.”

Spirits, I wanted to distract him. I wanted to distract _myself_. I pulled his face closer and kissed the pink raised skin. He tried to pull away but I put my other hand on his neck, rubbing my fingers soothingly along his jawline. I kissed his scar around his eye slowly, pulling his hand that covered mine down and away. 

He shuddered under my fingers and lips, my name coming from his mouth like a prayer. Then his lips found mine once, twice, until I was lost in the softness of his caress. It was contradicting, how his kiss could calm my heart but send it racing in passion. I loved that I could reach up, trace every part of his face, and his scar, too, now, and then grasp his hair and pull, making his lips open just the slightest, so that I could kiss him like I wanted to.

I took out my own frustrations on his lips, pushing against his broad chest insistently. I wanted all of the emotions I was feeling to just _disappear_ as I made this beautiful man beneath me gasp and moan. I drew my lips down his neck, biting his jaw and nipping along his shoulder until his hands were on my waist, pulling me to straddle him. I gasped as I was settled on a straining erection, only his pants and my underclothes separating us.

“ _Please,”_ I gasped, pressing down onto it. I suckled on the delicate skin between his shoulder and neck and he groaned, gripping the back of my head to hold me closer. I pressed against him relentlessly, trying to put pressure on my clothed cunt, imagining instead that I really was riding his cock again. Anything to distract me, to get rid of these emotions.

One of his hands snaked up under the skirt I was wearing. He drew his fingers along my drenched underclothes, shuddering beneath me. He pressed against my sensitive folds, dragging his knuckles against my clit over the cloth. I gasped against the skin of his neck before taking his lips back to swallow his appreciative dirty whispers near my ear.

He took control at this point, as he always seemed to, and took his frustration out on our kiss. He still had leverage with my hair and pulled it, making me clench around what I wished was him inside of me. Instead, over cloth his fingers danced and circled around sensitive flesh that begged for release. It made me press down onto his hand against the ball of nerves that was building me up.

I tore at his pants, desperate to feel him in my hand. I cupped his raw length, swallowing his cry in my mouth, and stroked him. His skin was velvet and smooth, hot in my small hand that couldn’t wrap around him completely I pulled, the skin of his cock pulling up and over the tip that leaked and gave lubrication to my ministrations.

He harshly pushed my underclothes aside, making me cry out as the cloth pulled against my clit, before his fingers were inside of me again, preparing me. As magical as those fingers were, I didn’t want _them_. I wanted _him_. Still, I rode them for a moment and clenched around them as his thumb made magic on the pearl that sent shockwaves through my body. The fabric pulling against my cunt was harsh but matched the intensity at which I wanted him to be inside of me.

I bit his lip and pulled before trailing bites down his chin and neck again. He gasped as I pulled him closer to my heat, making him replace his fingers with what I actually wanted. I groaned when his tip entered me, then half of him, and then all of him with a final settlement of my hips. The stretch was harsher this time, as I was impatient and hadn’t let him prepare me as thoroughly as before.

My underclothes, pushed to the side, rubbed harder when I was fully settled on him. My dress spilled out around us on the grass, hiding how we were connected at the most intimate level. It was broad daylight and I was fucking Prince Zuko out in the open. I didn’t care. I needed to forget everything but him—his smell, his taste, and _fuck_ —

One hand settled on my hip, but he let me lead. My thighs set a pace that made both of us gasp for air. I ran my hands along his face, pulled his hair, and kissed anything I could reach. My thighs burned at the pace, his thumb still rubbing at where we were connected. Spirits, that man was driving me _insane._

Riding him was empowering. _I_ was in charge. _I_ decided what happened when I slowed the pace or decided to tease him with a fast downward tilt to my hips. His kisses became desperate, his hand on my hip kneading the flesh there with a firm grip.

I felt my finish coming, throwing my head back and using his biceps as leverage to fall onto him. His cock slid against my tightening walls until my back straightened and I let out a high-pitched _ah,_ my walls strangling him in release.

He responded to my clenching insides by grabbing my waist with both hands and pulling me more insistently onto him, setting the rhythm. I grasped his arms tighter and let him lead us, let him use me for his own pleasure. I was doing the same, after all, bottoming out with a circle of my hips and rubbing my clit against his pelvic bone to draw out what he’d already given me.

My top was open, then, and his lips were attacking a peaked nipple. His teeth scraped against the delicate tip and I clenched around him, the electricity going straight to where we were connected. After my finish, I felt even more electrified than I had previously. The only thing that mattered was his cock, his mouth, his _hands_ as they used me for his own finale.

“I’m close,” he groaned against my breasts, tongue suckling at a nipple. Next thing I knew, I was on my back and he hovered over me. His hips thrusted once, twice, before I felt his loss when he pulled away. He finished on my thigh, under my skirt, and he kissed the Koh out of me as he gasped and made sounds that made me clench again, wanting more of him. “ _Fuck_ , you’re beautiful.” 

His hands played with my breasts, still in the open air, and he trailed kisses along my neck again. Then, his hand was under my skirt again, his fingers entering me swiftly. He kissed me to swallow the cries from the overstimulation. His thumb circled my clit until I was babbling against him.

He pulled me through the aftershocks with loving strokes of his fingers. Then, he straightened my skirts and my top, pulling me into a sweet kiss that made my heart burst with affections much stronger than _like_. I cared for this man and the way he made me feel, and fuck it if it wasn’t growing stronger every moment I was near him.

We fell asleep holding each other on the riverbank. For the first night since the North Pole, I didn’t have a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Part II, everyone! This story has been so much fun to write. Just seeing everyone's response to it so far has made me incredibly happy! The revival of A:tLA sets my heart afire so. Expect updates for this Part to be about once a month. I'm not churning chapters out like I did at the beginning of the pandemic, but I'm still a healthy amount ahead for timely releases. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and stay positive friends.


	19. So you're the sweet little thing my brother's gotten into bed with

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula makes an appearance at the spa, disrupting the healing rest that Emiko and Zuko deeply needed. Emiko realizes that Zuko's first priority will always be as the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation.
> 
> Warnings: none really, some fear tactics because Azula.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back and changed Crowns Guard to Imperial Firebenders - I wanted the distinction to more closely match Avatar and not Game of Thrones.

**Emiko**

It was a nice place that the spa had given us. It was probably hundreds of gold pieces to rent per day and we'd been there three weeks. I was grateful but felt as though I was taking advantage of the owners. _I_ wasn’t royalty. I was some weird kind of spiritual thing, but I definitely didn’t deserve this kind of tribute. 

_Spirits._ Fuck that. I ignored the thoughts of spirits. I still hadn’t asked what had happened when I’d blacked out in the North Pole—all I remembered was waking up in Sokka’s arms, scared out of my mind. He’d whispered sweet nothings into my ears as I panicked, vision going blurry, clutching to his chest like my life depended on it. I’d thought it had. I’d gone someplace… _no. Don’t think of the Face Stealer._

The days passed in comfort as we all recovered from the North Pole. Iroh had caught a slight cold, but that was going away. Zuko, of course, was recovering from getting blown up. His scrapes and burns were light and pink now. And I was still going through a very strange grieving process. Barely talking, food not pleasant. The three of us had a nightly dinner together, but otherwise we all went about our days separately. 

I was just on the way back from the main compound, having grabbed some fresh vegetables, rice, and a slab of pork to cook dinner with. I hadn’t felt comfortable with not doing _anything_ for my stay, so Iroh had let me cook one meal a day. I also kind of enjoyed it. Food was the way to the heart, I thought, and being able to prepare something for two men I cared deeply for made me distracted, at the very least. Even if I couldn't properly taste it.

Dinner was still a few hours off, so Zuko and Iroh wouldn’t be back for a bit. While Zuko had taken to standing near me while I cooked, asking me questions about techniques or ingredients, some nights he just…disappeared. I didn’t really know much about cooking, I’d just learned how not to _burn_ everything over the years. He, on the other hand, had never cooked a day in his life. I didn’t mind giving him some pointers here or there.

When he disappeared, I had no clue where he went. Iroh wouldn’t say anything, just make some excuse for the prince. Before, I hadn’t had enough mental space to worry more than usual. Now that I was coming to terms with what had happened, I felt my heart tear, hoping he’d show up to ask basic questions over my shoulder as he stood too close.

I opened the door to our little cottage, but something felt off. A new perfume, or the heat of a kind of bender I’d never met before—

A hand found its way around my neck and I stiffened, dropping my shopping basket to the ground and holding my hands up in front of me. Rice scattered over the hardwood. "So _you're_ the sweet little thing my brother's gotten into bed with…I admit, I can see the allure." Sharp nails dug into my skin, making blood pool and drip in rivulets down my neck. 

_Brother?_

I pulled out of the woman’s grasp and spun on her, holding my hands out in a defensive position. She was beautiful in a deadly way. Her golden eyes were eerily familiar, as was her shiny black hair pulled up into a topknot. Her armor was extremely expensive and intricate, something I’d only ever seen with Zuko and Iroh.

 _This must be Zuko’s sister…what was her name again? She was named after Azulon._ _Ah, right._ "Princess Azula. A…pleasure?” For once, I was thankful for my education—I could navigate most situations without feeling like a complete moron.

A small, _nasty_ smile appeared on her full red lips. "Oh, believe me...the pleasure's _all_ mine." Her eyes raked over my body and I luckily repressed the icky shiver that crawled up my back. 

"What brings you to our riverside spa, my princess?" My heart was beating a mile a minute but I bowed anyway. I bowed just as I was told and I treated her with respect even though every fiber of my being told me that this was a trap. That she'd rip my throat out as soon as smile at me.

"I've come for you, actually. You, my brother, and our uncle." My eyes widened a little but I tried not to show any emotion, almost like I was facing Koh again. _No, no. Only in dreams. It wasn’t real._ “I heard about you from one of the newest members of my Imperial Firebenders. She regaled me with a lot of _interesting_ information. Your sister, Jasmine.”

 _Jasmine is alive._ That thought calmed me after the princess’s words chilled me to the core. “I…I’m sorry, Princess, I’m at a loss.” Jasmine and I had never been friends. I was happy that she was alive—she was my sister, after all and I wasn't a monster—but that was as far as the feelings went. She wouldn’t listen to my cries for help and had believed our father over me. Still, knowing that I wasn't _completely_ alone out there...was a confusing feeling I wanted to dig into at a much later time.

“I was told of your predicament with the fire sages. Oh, how terrible a fate to be traded to those old geezers!” Her face was sincere, but I somehow still felt like I was walking on flaming eggshells. “I came to let you know that you are pardoned—one of my Imperial Firebenders can’t own land, and with your brother missing…you are the only noble heir to Zhao’s estate.”

My brain felt like it had some electrical lines crossed. I didn’t know what to trust—my instinct, or my _hope_ that maybe she was telling the truth. “I…I don’t know what to say.” It was really weird that a princess was delivering me this news herself. Everything about that situation was weird.

“You can start by thanking me, and then telling me where my brother and uncle are.”

By the time my voice had returned, the front door opened and Iroh came in. "Emiko, I found some beautiful shells! I—oh. Princess Azula." He bowed respectfully. "To what do we owe this honor?"

"Uncle," she said off-handedly, suddenly turning cold and distant. The change left me reeling. "Quick to the point, I see."

I didn't want to take my eyes off of her but Iroh was there so I felt a little better, even if he did look a bit tense. So I smiled and straightened my back, tried to put on the face of hospitality my father had tried to beat into me as a child, and said, "I was just about to tell her that we were going to start dinner, soon, and that you and the prince would be back momentarily."

Iroh's back was ramrod straight. "Oh?"

"Yes, I came for all three of you. Where's my brother at? Still off searching for the avatar?" Zuko and Azula looked a lot alike, with the silky black hair and the bright topaz eyes. Even their skin tone was the same, pale shade. But that was as far as the similarities went—something was _cruel_ about her, and while Zuko had a bark, he had very little bite.

Well, except for the bites I was hiding behind a collar still. That man was insatiable.

"He's relaxing. We all needed rest after the North Pole," I said softly.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," Azula said in a way that almost made me believe her. "Your father was an asset to the Fire Nation. And you, you’ve been pardoned! How exciting is that?”

“I…very exciting, Princess.” I forced a smile on my face and Iroh smiled as well. I could see the tension in his shoulders. “Would you like to join us for dinner?”

Her face fell and she looked at me with the _I’m-royalty-and-you’re-a-noble-but-still-a-commoner_ look that I never realized existed. I’d never felt bad about myself until I met rich snotty people, and they made me feel bad a _lot_ , actually. “No, I think I’ll pass. But now I must speak with my brother. It is of the utmost importance."

Zuko chose to walk in at that moment. He saw Azula and his eyes widened before they narrowed, looking between her and me and the food scattered on the floor. Those eyes flickered to my eyes, then my neck where a little slip of blood stained the skin there. Suddenly, he stepped in front of me and put a hand on my hip, as if he were protecting me. "What are _you_ doing here?"

She was unaffected by his glare and chose at that moment to pick up one of the seashells that Iroh had just placed on our kitchen table. She stated toying with it. "Uncle was civilized enough to say _hello_ first, Zu-Zu."

"Don't call me that!" Zuko yelled furiously. I’d only seen this unrestrained anger once or twice, and it scared me to the core. He sounded unrestrained, _volatile,_ his face betraying the same dissonance. "Just tell us why you're here or _leave_!"

She rolled her eyes. Then, the words that came from her lips shocked the room. She told us that Fire Lord Ozai regretted banishing his son and wanted him home. How he was suddenly more caring and family-oriented.

I had absolutely no clue how to feel. I was standing in the middle of some serious family drama and it made me sweat from how uncomfortable the situation was. Normally this would be a _normal_ kind of family drama, but when it dealt with literal royalty, and I was some kind of powerhouse spirit thing—I was terrified. If the three of us went back, I couldn’t put one toe out of line. Every word I ever uttered would be measured and pointed because everything would be political. And if I ever did step out of line…well, I knew that there were worse things than death.

There was a pause.

"Did you hear me?" Azula asked impatiently, narrowing her Zuko-colored eyes and looking like a haughty princess should. "I just gave you great news!"

The utter _destruction_ in Zuko’s eyes stabbed me through the heart, and his voice when he spoke tore the organ from my chest. "He…wants me back?" Zuko had had a rough childhood, too, and I wanted to hide him from it.

Azula bowed and said she would leave us to take in the information. I started picking up the food on the ground, absolutely conflicted, and continued on with my plans for the evening like nothing had changed. I washed the veggies and triple-washed the rice I had to sweep up. 

Zuko paced impatiently behind me, going through every scenario out loud to his uncle. The food started roasting over the stove and filled the room with a pleasant scent. I distracted myself with it and ignored everything going on behind me. My mind was just too overwhelmed to even think of the heartbreak that was about to come. It felt like static had replaced the brain between my ears as my hands shook cutting the veggies.

The conversation came much faster than I’d hoped. Zuko exploded at his uncle, calling him lazy and jealous of the Fire Lord. I stabbed the knife I’d been using into the cutting board in front of me and spun on him. The static between my ears turned to blind rage. “No! You don’t get to speak to him that way. He is only trying to help you!”

Zuko had never been one to take criticism lightly. He admitted when he was wrong, but sometimes his anger was misaligned until he found the right outlet. Iroh had never done anything but help Zuko, he'd stayed with him for years, guiding him along the right path, keeping him sane in his search for the avatar. That man was the father that Zuko deserved!

“Stay out of matters you don't understand, Emiko!" he shouted, turning his angry, seething words in my direction. “You have no idea what is happening right now.” 

“Of course, your _highness_ ,” I said, tearing off my apron. I bowed in the most mocking manner before I wadded the apron up angrily and threw it in his direction. “I’ll leave these matters to you, then.” I stormed from the house; I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t want to stay there.

**Iroh**

Iroh wanted to believe that his niece was there in goodwill—that all of this was possible. But Iroh didn’t know his brother to regret _anything_ he’d ever done. Even if it had been a mistake, that man would turn the story around to benefit him in any way possible. The man who’d maimed his own child wouldn’t back down from his decision so easily.

Emiko had turned to defend him before she stormed out, but Iroh was used to Zuko’s mood swings. Zuko’s father had them, and so did Azula. The anger was something Zuko had tempered over time, but once he was faced with a decision to take him back to the environment that made it worse, he instantly regressed. Not that Iroh hadn’t had a bit of anger in his youth, but it had grown much duller over the years. And it had never been _cruel_ , if he could help it.

Zuko cursed as he fumbled with the apron and stabbed at the food on the stove. He took his anger out on the pans and the wooden serving utensils, and somehow some food actually made it to serving dishes and not on the floor. “Uncle, this is my _chance_ ,” he finally said. “I think I can go home. I’m sorry for my harsh words, but I’ve been dreaming about this for _seven years._ Emiko can’t understand that, and I don’t know if you can, either.”

“She hasn’t had a home for just as many,” Iroh responded. “But…she was pardoned.” He wondered what his nephew’s reaction would be, and he was also curious as to what Azula had told Emiko about the pardon before he’d shown up. Her face had been pale and it was obvious that she knew how dangerous the situation could be. Especially if anyone found out about her connection to the spirits.

Zuko fumbled the utensils he was holding and took a breath before turning to meet Iroh. Zuko’s eyes were both hopeful and incredibly distraught. “She…she can go back?” He obviously had feelings for the girl, and she him—Iroh had found them cuddled up on the lakeshore a few days ago, fast asleep. Iroh didn’t want to ruin that young love but realistically knew that Emiko most likely would not join them.

The young prince had a one-track mind, sometimes, and never thought of anything outside of his own frame of reference. Iroh moved towards the door and intended to go and find the girl. He left the prince with a few parting words, “She can. I’m not sure that she will.”

Zuko stood over the stove, then, head down. That was how Iroh left him as he followed Emiko’s tracks in the sand near their house. Her feet were small, and he was able to differentiate from Azula’s and their previous paths. The path led to the ocean, where he saw bright plumes of fire light into the evening sky.

Emiko was running through a few sets, her teeth clenched and her face red. Every move was greeted with a growl of anger. The fire was nowhere near as strong as what he’d seen in the North Pole, but it was still impressive.

He applauded when she braced her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. Her spine straightened and she turned to face him, her eyes wide and mouth open. “Iroh!”

“That was impressive,” he said, sitting down on a rather sturdy-looking rock. “Your bending abilities are improving.” Her eyes shot around. “It is just us, Zuko is still back at the house.”

She kicked the sand and paced the beach, obviously still angry. “I…Iroh, I can’t go back with you tomorrow.”

He’d assumed as much. “What did my niece say to you, exactly?” 

She told him. It was true, that the Imperial Firebenders couldn’t hold land as long as they served the royal family. Iroh then learned that her brother was missing in action somewhere in the Earth Kingdom, making her the sole heir to her father’s properties and fortune. It didn’t sit well with Iroh that Azula knew anything about her—that girl was cruel and would use the information against them, somehow.

“And,” she said, throwing her hands down and staring up at the rising moon, “even if it was _all true_ and I dared to hope that I could return…I don’t know if I want to.”

She told him about her issues with the Fire Nation, about how she couldn’t support their war effort. Her face streamed with tears and she begged him to understand. Iroh definitely understood. In fact, he’d felt the same way since his son had died. Why were they sacrificing their young, their future, to a war that wasn’t spreading the Fire Nation’s prosperity?

“I understand, child,” he said, standing to bring her into his arms. She hugged him tight and he melted into their embrace. “I…I would be remiss not to say that I would also be worried for you to return to the mainland. I don’t know what your sister has told Azula, nor do I know what either of them actually know. If the Fire Nation knew of your power…I’d hate to see them abuse it.”

“I think I need to leave tonight,” she whispered, hugging him tighter. “If she knows…I can’t risk it.” 

He held her close and rested his head on hers, knowing that she was right. He wished that he could protect her from this—but he’d already seen that he couldn’t when Zhao had come aboard and taken her. Dealing with the royal family was like walking on glass—attempting not to break it for fear of cutting yourself, or those next to you. This situation with Zuko was concerning on its own.

“I know,” he whispered into her hair. “I hope to see you again in this life, Emiko. You are truly special. Please, though…do not leave without saying goodbye to Zuko.”

**Emiko**

Zuko had fallen asleep outside the house by the time I returned. He was sitting up in a chair, head back against the wall, arms over his chest. When I peaked my head inside the house, I saw that he and Iroh had packed their bags. I did the same, not that I had much—everything I’d ever had, I’d left on Zhao’s ship in the North Pole. Even the picture of my mother. I hoped my father had saved a copy at the estate Azula promised me—not that I’d ever go back there.

Still, I packed a plate of food to go and stole a waterskin. I packed one clean dress and a pant set and changed into another separate pant set. Three sets of clothing total, to travel light. I braided my hair and took a deep breath, bothered that I didn’t want to face him and I was just wasting time.

“Emiko,” his low voice said from _right behind me_. I held in the screech that threatened to leave my lungs and turned to face him in the moonlight shining through the windows, hands up in defense.

Iroh’s snores came from the other room and I really didn’t want to have to see his fatherly face again. I motioned my head towards the door and Zuko nodded in understanding, both of us walking out into the moonlight. 

We were silent as we stared at each other, my hands tight around my bag. He was already dressed in his armor, like he was ready to leave first thing in the morning. But he’d stayed outside to, what, wait on me?

“You’re not coming, are you?” His words were sharp and hurt, like it was _my fault_ I couldn’t go back to the Fire Nation. I shook my head, holding my ground and meeting his eyes even though it really fucking hurt. “Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?”

“I thought about it,” I whispered. I didn’t trust myself not to cry if I spoke louder. “Zuko, you know why—”

“I don’t, actually. Enlighten me why you can’t go back when you’ve had a full royal pardon.”

My mind flashed back to the North Pole. To Koh’s lair, where he’d held me for what felt like _years_ as I listened to his chittering legs scattering on the ground and echoing through the cave. The destruction of the oasis, after I woke up, and the shuddering realization that I would never, ever be normal.

“You saw it. You…Iroh told you something, at least. I’m not _normal_. And I can’t let anyone use me, or what I am, against anyone else. And I can’t trust the Fire Nation to be impartial about it.”

“What _are you_ , Emiko?” he asked, throwing his hands in the air. “You’ve been running your whole life, and from what? Fire sages who wanted to help you control your power? A country that would have worshiped the ground you walked on?”

I wasn’t sure how our goodbye talk was going to go, but him absolutely pissing me off was not one of the scenarios I’d pictured. I clutched my bag tighter. “Does it really matter? What if, all I’ve ever wanted, was a quiet and peaceful life? Where I could have a loving mother and father, and siblings, and no one had to die in a war that didn’t matter. Where I could marry someone I loved, and have their children, and instill wisdom and kindness in them. _Fuck_ being worshiped. I don’t need gold and jewels and fancy fruit tarts with rose petals. I want to dance, and cook, and be _free_. I want to experience a world where people can freely trade and travel. Instead, I run from a country that could use me as a weapon. That’s all I can do, and maybe all I will _ever_ do.

“So no, Zuko. I won’t be joining you.”

He was silent, his jaw set tightly and his eyes burning with betrayal and pain that I didn’t understand. The night breeze blew softly with salty sea air, whisking past us and making his hair flutter in the wind. He was truly beautiful.

“Goodbye, my prince.” I bowed much less mockingly this time, truly meaning it. I’d enjoyed our time together. If I said anything else, I was sure I’d cry.

He didn’t grab me or call my name. I didn’t look back. I was able to hold back the tears until I the sun rose, and I realized that I was once again alone in this world.

**_Zuko_ **

The next morning, Zuko quickly descended the stairway outside of the bathhouse, a bag over his shoulder. He paused for a moment and looked down at the Fire Nation ship in the bay below, thinking of the many things that could go wrong with _Azula_ of all people involved. Still, it was heartening to even hope that all of this was real and not just some terrible dream.

Zuko smiled when Iroh put his hand on his shoulder. Both of them looked down to the docks, and Zuko felt a sense of calm. "We're finally going home…" 

_Home. Why can't Emiko see that the Fire Nation is our home? Even hers?_ With her father gone, and a royal pardon, she could return as a land-owning noble. He would even give his word that they would never use her for what she was. He would even say that no one would ever have to know, but Azula somehow _always_ knew. How could he have ever kept that kind of promise?

Of _course_ he understood why she was running. Her entire life, she’d run from everything. He just didn’t understand why she was running from _him_.

Uncle took a second glance at the ship, looking skeptical. Zuko tried to ignore it; he wanted his sister to be telling the truth. Almost as much as he wanted to turn and see Emiko running down the stairs behind them, telling them to wait for her. But only leaves blew behind them.

On the dock, a group of Fire Nation soldiers formed two ranks along the path leading to the ship. Captain Jasmine, surprisingly, was standing at the helm. She clicked her heels together and bowed when Iroh and Zuko approached. “My prince, General Iroh. It is once again a pleasure to host you, this time under Princess Azula’s banner.” 

The two files of soldiers closed in behind them, making the skin on the back of Zuko’s neck prick up. _Cage. Trap._

Azula stood at the top of the ramp, smiling down. “Set our course for home, Captain.”

" _Home_ …" Zuko hadn’t seen his home in seven years. He hadn’t seen his people, or his family, in the same amount of time. What would his father think of the man he’d become? Would his people welcome him back with open arms without the avatar?

“You heard the princess,” Jasmine called, leading them up the walkway. “Raise the anchors! We’re taking the prisoners ho—"

**Emiko**

_I couldn’t do it_. _What a wuss_. I sat in a tree, far to the side of the dock, and watched Iroh and a man I was falling in love with leave me forever. It was so hard for me to trust. Iroh had given me a parental figure, a loving warmth and presence. Zuko had taught me to believe in myself, to stand my ground and fight for myself. 

And I was letting them leave me.

This wasn’t like the Freedom Fighters, where I’d been ripped out of their warm embrace. My father had raided their encampment, killed one or two, and wounded many others just to get to me. This time, I was letting a family walk away from me…and maybe into enemy hands. So I was going to wait around, just in case they needed me. 

I didn’t know whether to feel relief or panic that Iroh and Zuko started fighting for their lives. I slid down the tree, splinters all along my arms, but pushed my legs as fast as they could go across the beach.

I slid between a man’s legs and when I rose, knocked him off balance and into the water next to the dock. Another I fought with hand-to-hand—he was decent and kept me from bringing up two fire fists by constantly batting my hands away.

Jasmine’s voice yelled from behind me, “Emiko is here, too! Capture the prisoners!”

Two sets of hands grabbed for me and I attempted to bat them off. Then, someone grabbed my braid and pulled me down. I screamed and tried to kick up at their face, but they drug me back with their hold on my hair. Then, the person wrapped my braid around their arm and pulled me to my feet. It felt like he was going to rip my scalp off!

“Surrender,” he masked man said into my ear, his other arm wrapped around my waist to hold me tight.

I put fire to my hands and tried to burn the shit out of him, but he was wearing really high-grade armor. When that didn’t work, I clenched my eyes and put my hands to the back of my head and forced heat into my hair. The pressure on my head released when my braid came entirely off and I kicked away from the man’s shocked grasp.

My scalp was almost on fire; I put it out, hissing and cursing as burned hair and human skin grated harshly against my sense of smell. My hair was shorn up to my chin in some places, and even shorter in others. But that was the last thing on my mind as four more men jumped in my direction.

Iroh was then in front of me, fighting off the four men all by himself. He was a master bender, leaving me in awe as I joined him back to back. “We need to get out of here!” He took a deep breath and then suddenly, we were surrounded by a wall of flame. Zuko was inside the radius as well, backing up to place his shoulder against mine. The wall of flame pushed everyone on the dock back and started singing the wood of the old structure. 

The destruction of the dock allowed us to get away from the soldiers. We ran until my feet were bleeding and raw, and Iroh’s legs gave out beneath him. He heaved, still sick from his cold, and fell to his knees.

I had no emotions or feelings. If anything, I felt numb—like I’d regressed in all the progress I’d been making to _feel_ and work through my grief. I didn’t want to deal with those emotions, so I didn’t. Still, one thought kept running through my head as Iroh and Zuko cut their hair, as they shed their Fire Nation clothing and looked sorrowful into the river:

At least this time, I wasn’t all alone.


	20. Take comfort when you can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio of firebenders starts their journey in the Earth Kingdom. Zuko has a hard time transitioning, but Emiko takes the reins and helps the two royals adapt to life in the wilderness.
> 
> No warnings that I can think of.

**Emiko**

Backpacking through the Earth Kingdom wilderness was a familiar task for me. So was going hungry. Both of those things impacted me much less than Iroh and Zuko, who were _hopeless_ at basic survival. At one point, Iroh tried to make a very deadly flower into tea while I was fishing for us. Luckily, I stopped _that_ catastrophe.

We had lots of other lessons, like picking berries as we walked, too. I held up two very similar berries to both of them in the sunlight. “Smellerbee taught me that ‘purple and blue are good for you. Red…could be good, could be dead.' If red berries are growing in little clusters, they're probably not good. So...sorry, we can't eat these.”

Zuko, looking incredibly surely, growled in anger and threw an hour’s worth of picking onto the ground before stormed off with a shouted, “I’m going fishing!”

I sighed. He hadn’t yet gotten over his sister’s betrayal, and his dashed hopes of ever becoming the Prince of the Fire Nation again. Years of searching for the avatar, _wasted_. Because his father had never wanted him to come back. Or, at least, that’s what Iroh was telling me as we set up camp for the night.

“I knew that the offer of a pardon was too good to be true—and what did my sister tell the princess, anyway? She could have said I was just a runaway or…told her about the spirit stuff, if Jasmine even knows anything about it. Either way…” I bit my lip and gnawed on it, incredibly stressed out by _not knowing_.

“My niece is first and foremost, a liar,” Iroh stated, rubbing his beard. “She may know everything, or nothing other than the fact that you are Jasmine’s only living relative. Besides…she knew that Zuko cared for you. The pardon, whether true or false, was a tactical move to get to Zuko.” He started laying down his bed roll beside the small fire pit I’d set up, then went to put Zuko’s and mine next to each other on the other side.

I flushed heavily. Zuko had been sleeping next to me every night. Sometimes, when we woke, he was holding me close, like he was afraid to let go. Iroh must have seen and decided to put our beds together. “I, uh…”

“No need to be embarrassed, child. Take comfort where you can. Holding someone while they sleep…that is healing.” He said nothing of the fact that I was doing _more_ than sleeping next to his nephew.

Not that Zuko and I had done anything since we left the spa a week ago. We’d fallen asleep on the riverbank, holding each other. Before we fell asleep, he told me about how beautiful I was, running his fingers through my hair. Hair that was now no longer a gigantic mess on my head, but I did have some kind of weird short cut with longer bangs around my face. Pieces in the back were long enough to cover the bald spots from burning my own hair off, and they’d grow together in time.

“I like that my nephew has chosen to grow close to you,” Iroh said earnestly. My face practically burned as my eyes shot to his. A twinkle of mischief was in his eye. “He needs to remember that he is young. Being in love helps that process.”

 _Ohh no no no no_. My thoughts manifested themselves in my words as well, my hands in front of me trying to extinguish the situation. “I’m not…no, we’re just…courting.” _Fuck, we weren’t supposed to tell Iroh._ Also, I _so_ wasn’t in love with him. Maybe at some point. But we both had too many demons to work through.

“I figured as much,” he said simply. “I saw a particular blue spirit dancing with a turtle-duck at a festival once. My nephew deserves those moments of happiness. Thank you for giving them to him.”

He already _knew_. Iroh had stayed silent and just watched his nephew find happiness. That was…that was beautiful. “I…I’ll do my best not to lose your trust, or his.”

“I know. And Emiko?”

“Yeah?”

Iroh’s eyes were kind and _sad_ as they looked at me. “You know that you can tell me about your spirit journey…if you need to get something off your chest.”

I didn’t even have time to react before Zuko’s familiar grumbles reached my ear as he crushed through the undergrowth. The prince had come back, a pole in his hand and a small _minnow_ on the tip. Iroh and I both stared expectantly at the prince who threw the pole down and shouted, “Why is this so _hard_?!”

My heart broke for him. He was so hurt and _lost_ and had never had to experience this kind of living before. I picked up the pole and grabbed an old pair of pants. “Come on, I’ll show you the better way to fish. It can take longer, but the results are usually more…sufficient.” _Anything to get rid of Iroh’s eyes as he pleads for me to rip back open the wound that is the Spirit World in the back of my mind._

Zuko’s look was scathing but I expected that. He was hurting, and he lashed out (unreasonably) at those closest to him. All bark, no bite, although that didn’t mean that he still didn’t have to work on the bark.

“You two go on,” Iroh said, organizing our meager belongings. “I’ll search for more tea leaves.”

I stopped and turned back to tell him, “Don’t you dare brew or drink any until I get back!” The last thing I needed him to do was kill himself by brewing what was essentially poison.

His excuses made me roll my eyes. Still, I managed to pull Zuko into the woods and back towards the stream. I started pulling apart the hem of the pants, trying to get a solid thread long enough to use as fishing line. Zuko sulked along behind me and I let him fume. No point in bringing up something that would start an argument.

We got to the edge of the riverbank; the scene actually quite beautiful. One thing about the Earth Kingdom was that its wilderness was simply breathtaking—hundreds of thousands of miles of ancient forests that some had never even _traversed_. Compared to the Fire Nation, it seemed almost uninhabited. There were, of course, large cities—some were Omashu, or Ba Sing Se. But the amount of land untamed was impressive.

“Alrighty,” I said, handing the pole and the perfect fishing line in Zuko’s direction. “Keep that minnow, we need it. But tie this string to the top of the pole with the best knots you can. I’m going to make a fishing hook.”

The prince grabbed them from me, his face still set in what I could only assume was an angry pout. “With _what_?”

I pulled a pin out of my hair. One thing I’d had plenty of after my _wedding day_ was hair pins, not that I needed them for hair anymore. But they worked really well to pick locks, make fish hooks, and more. _Turns out, they also work well to cover bald spots._ “You’ve gotta get creative in the wilds, my prince.”

“Don’t _call_ me that,” he whispered, all volume gone from his voice. Instead, he was quiet and his face fell completely blank, besides the murderous glint in his eye as he looked away from me.

I frowned, fidgeting with the pin in my hands as I warped it to the shape I needed. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Zuko. It was a reflex.”

He sat down and started grumbling to himself, trying to tie the string to the pole properly. He was pretty good at it, luckily, thanks to years of being at sea. He chose not to answer me, rather than bring up the topic again. I’d try not to mention it in the future but it was true. He was my prince. I hoped for the perfect future my optimistic imagination dreamed of, where the Fire Nation somehow stopped the war and Zuko ascended the throne.

Optimism was a hurtful bitch, though.

Once I used a little heat to bend and shape the metal in the right way, I took the other end of Zuko’s thread and tied it up. Then, I took the minnow and placed half of it on the hook. I found some kind of walnut shell and tied it to the string above the hook as a bobber. “Hopefully with using this bait you already found us, we can attract something a little bigger.”

He was quiet for a moment when I took the pole from him, sat on the riverbank, and threw my line out. He then moved next to me, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his arm. “Why do you know all of this?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that his face was soft. His anger was draining, and now he just looked tired. “I’ve been on my own for almost seven years now. I had to learn, or else…well, you can only go hungry for so long.” He appeared so _different_ without his signature tail of hair, but I was looking forward to seeing it longer. I wanted to wrap my hands in long, silky locks of hair…not his sister’s, per say, but his would be similar you know? 

“I see…and what is the walnut for?”

“Oh, the walnut shell floats. It helps us see if we have a fish, and to keep the hook off the riverbed.”

He was quiet again. His face was pensive, but soft, the sunlight reflecting off the water and making him even more beautiful. It was like he was made of marble, a god brought to life on earth. He caught me staring and I flushed, looking back out onto the water and waiting for what I hoped would be dinner. “I…thank you, for teaching me.”

My heart almost fainted out of pure fondness and my face felt hot. Was this what affection felt like, normally? “You’ve done much more for me, Zuko. I at least had to return the favor. You’re in my neck of the woods, now.”

The next thing I knew, his head was on my shoulder and he sighed. I stiffened only for a moment and then relaxed against him. “I’m sorry you had to deal with this.” My cheeks were on fire but I hummed in happiness from his warmth. “That _anyone_ has to live like this.”

“It’s not the end of the world,” I said softly. He was going down a road of self-pity that I didn’t want to have to deal with—it was hard enough keeping myself out of that dark pit of despair. “For example…look around you right now. It’s an absolutely beautiful day. The sun is reflecting against the water. The wind is lightly blowing through this beautiful forest. I’m sitting on a rather comfy riverbank with a man that I care for, deeply. It’s…refreshing, and very nice to not be alone, for once.”

He was quiet, his head still on my shoulder. A soft snore eventually came from him. _Poor thing_. He was exhausted and not used to this kind of life. I laid my cheek on the peach fuzz of his head and sighed. I wished that we could have met in any other circumstance—that he was a normal boy, and I a normal girl…but we wouldn’t be the same people, then. Maybe we wouldn’t have worked out that way.

A _plop!_ in the water caught my attention. My branch bent slightly and— _yes, I’ve got one!_ I gently nudged Zuko awake and braced myself on the riverbank to pull in what felt like a nice-sized dinner once I fired it up. Zuko made a cute sleepy noise but woke, his face full of hunger even as his stomach growled.

The fish ended up being enough for just the two of us. I put the line back out in the water with the other half of the minnow before I grilled the fish in my hands, too hungry to wait and take it back to camp.

Zuko glared at me. “Hey, don't bend out here. We talked about this.” We had. It was dangerous if someone found out who we were—Azula had spies everywhere.

I ignored him and ate at the fish anyway. I wiggled it in his direction when his glare turned deeper into a frown. No complaints when he groaned and took a bite, I noticed. We took turns pulling off pieces of the fish, the flaky flesh giving us energy and sustenance after days of root vegetables and berries.

“We should follow the river from now on,” I groaned, the sound almost indecent. “I forgot how good a freshly-fired fish tasted. Plus, fresh water and unlimited baths, if we need them.”

Zuko didn’t say anything, but I didn’t mind. He was going through a lot, after his sister’s betrayal. Fuck, _I_ was going through a lot. We didn’t have to fill the silence with meaningless words when both of us were going through some deep shit. My sister had joined his to capture us—not sure why they were after Iroh and Zuko, though. Weren’t they royalty? They hadn’t done anything illegal that I knew of. Me, on the other hand, I knew _exactly_ why they were after me.

I thought to ask Iroh, later. I didn’t want to bother Zuko with another fresh waft of betrayal. Instead, we caught another fish and presented it to a thankful Iroh who smiled so warmly at the two of us...and I didn’t speak of it.

**Zuko**

He always waited until he heard Iroh’s snores to roll over and pull Emiko close to him. He didn’t know why he was so worried bout Iroh finding out—the man loved Emiko and would be delighted to have her and Zuko courting. For now, though, he wanted to keep it all to himself. _Her_ all to himself. Because he didn't have anything else anymore.

He realized then that she wasn't moving at all. Her skin was pale and her breaths fluttered weakly against his shoulder. “Emiko,” he said softly, running a hand along her arm. “Em, hey.” Koh, she was burning up! _Another episode?_ “Emiko, wake up!” Zuko held her close, hands ghosting over her limp body as if trying to find the problem when he had no freaking idea why. Her heat was making him sweat in the balmy Earth Kingdom weather.

She awoke with a gasp, chest heaving, eyes dimming from a bright light that scared the shit out of Zuko. Her hands scratched at him even as a sob ripped from her chest. “No, no, _no_!”

“Em it's me!” he shouted, rousing Iroh from the other side of the fire. “It's me!”

She gasped and her eyes widened as she realized who he was and where she was. She sobbed and threw her amrs around him, stuffing her face into his neck.

“I’ve got you,” he said into her ear, rocking her back and forth. “It was just a dream.”

Her form shuttered beneath him, tears wetting his neck as he held her close. She couldn’t speak even as Iroh came over and asked her simple questions, like if she knew who they were or what day of the week it was. _I don't even know what day it is,_ Zuko thought off-handedly before her shuddering form took three deep breaths and pushed up and away from him.

Zuko didn't want her to run, and she looked ready to bolt as she clutched at her head and paced back and forth a little too close to the campfire. So he held his hands up and treated her like he would a cornered animal. “Emiko...please, talk to me.”

Too-bright eyes flashed his way. “I...yeah, I'm here. I think. Finally. _Fuck_.” She shot to the ground in a crouch, hands tearing at the back of her head. “I'm not there. I'm here. It's okay.”

Zuko glanced over to Iroh, desperate for the man to tell them what to do to help her. The old man had told Zuko about the North Pole, eventually, when Emiko had gone out to bathe one day. Part of Zuko was terrified that such power could live in such a little package. Another part of him was proud, almost, that such a spectacular woman chose to be with him. He wondered if she ever truly figured out how special she was if she would leave him, once she realized he had nothing left to give her.

The terrified half of him was in control now, though. He didn't like feeling _helpless_ in any kind of situation, but here they were acting like his girlfriend was a ticking timebomb. Which, with how much they knew of what was going on with her spirit powers, was probable.

He whispered her name again and she looked up at him, eyes full of tears. “Hey, come back to me.”

“I'm here,” she whispered back, “I promise. Just...lost, yeah. Lost in the terror. Help me, please.”

Emiko didn't ask for help very often. He knew how utterly destroyed she must have been to admit to such things. “Come here.” He sat and she leaned into his body, falling across his chest until she sat on his lap. Her breathing evened out and she trembled, the heat dispersing from her body until she was shivering and cool to the touch.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Iroh asked gently, crouching next to them. “I understand if not. We can wait.”

“No-no,” she said, not meeting his eyes. “I want to forget. Distract me.”

“With what?” Zuko wondered, wishing he could just take the pain from her. Whatever it was. Was he in over his head with this one? Could he even help an all-powerful spirit, or was he deluding himself?

“What are we _doing_?” she breathed, voice breaking at the end. “Where are we going? Do we have a destination?” Her body was slowly coming back to normal beneath his arms, and her breathing evened out against his neck.

“As far away from Azula as possible,” Iroh said as though it were the most simple answer in the world. That was the goal, yes, but Emiko wanted more than that. He noticed that she always needed a plan, or some kind of exit strategy.

“Yeah, but do we have a destination or are we just roaming about the Earth Kingdom?”

Zuko didn't have a plan, and he didn't know if Iroh had one either. To tell the truth, he didn't even want to _have_ a plan. He was a prince! He wanted his country, not to run and hide in an enemy nation like _commoners._ They hadn't had this conversation, probably because Zuko was an avatar of fury every time someone brought it up. “Does it matter?” he grumbled bitterly.

“It does,” she sobbed against his neck. “I need to know. I need to stop running. I'm so tired, I just...I just want to be _normal_.”

Salt water drenched the front of his night shirt. Normally he wouldn't wear one while he slept, but he couldn't stand the feeling of dirt and grass and bugs crawling all over his skin when he lay on the ground.

He wanted to balk at the word _normal_. None of them were or ever would be _normal._ One was a retired General and ex-Crown Prince of the Fire Nation. The other _was_ the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, now reduced to a street urchin scrounging for food in the wilderness. But his father and sister had proved he was exactly that street urchin, forcing him to run in fear of his life. And if they knew about Emiko? He didn't know if it would be a boon for them or if they'd throw her in a hole for the rest of her life, never to see the sun again.

And he hated that. He hated that the Fire Nation would rather lock a beautiful spirit away from the world, or use it for evil, than work with her to strengthen their connection to the sun and to firebending. He'd never even heard of her in his teachings growing up—and that meant that the spirit had been away from the Fire Nation for far too long. To the point that it was forgotten.

“How about Ba Sing Se?” Iroh asked, brow furrowed. “The Fire Nation has never breached its walls...I should know, I tried.”

Except he _had_ breached those walls...and left once he realized his son had died in the battle. Iroh had realized that a victory for the Fire Nation meant nothing if his heir and son had perished in the scuffle. Zuko hadn't understood for a long time, but he also didn't have a son, nor did he understand the gut-wrenching anguish that constantly showed itself in Iroh's eyes.

“We'll never get in,” she sniffed. Finally she pulled her head from his shoulder and wiped her puffy eyes. Her entire face was red and swollen. “You need official documentation for that, and we aren't Earth Kingdom citizens.”

“Let me worry about that,” he said simply, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “We will find some place to live for a while without worry. Does that sound okay?”

“I always worry, but other than that it sounds fine.” She sniffled and laughed a bit, but seeing the smile on her face made some of the darkness swirling inside of him go away. “I'll be interested to see how you get one of those. I've tried for years, so forgive me if I'm a little skeptical.”

Iroh's eyes lost their anguish and instead gained that little sparkling quality. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.” And from a sleeve he pulled a lotus tile and flipped it, a shit-eating grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post! Hopefully an extra-long one coming soon to make up for it.


End file.
